


The darkening of hearts.

by Nuredhel



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, F/M, Falling In Love, First Time, Forced Marriage, Friendship, Games, Grief, Hatred, Kidnapping, M/M, Murder, Oral Sex, Political tension, Predjudice, Scapegoat, Slash, Survival, arranged mariage, culture clash, elves being complete dirtbags, power and influence above all, sexual rituals, the darkening, weird traditions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-04-27 17:37:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 114,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5057698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nuredhel/pseuds/Nuredhel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Fëanor Discover that his oldest son is having a relationship to his own cousin he fears a scandal and to avoid it he disregards the advice of his own father and forces Nelyafinwë into an arranged marriage. He hopes to put an end to the romance between the two Young ellyn but what he really does is drag an innocent Third part into their Family, a young elleth who sees this marriage as the end of everything. But are Things as bad as they seem? And can she manage to survive when hearts seem to grow harder and the light itself is stolen from them all?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The greatest deceit.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own these characters, they are Tolkiens and i do not make any Money from this work of fiction.  
> In this tale the time lines probably are going to get a bit screwed up, but it will follow the Silmarillion as best as i can. It is rather AU so please excuse the errors. This story is a bit dark at times and it does contain some rahther graphic slash. I may even illustrate it when i get the time to do that.

Chapter one: The greatest deceit.

Finwë was staring at his son with a sense of foreboding, he felt his insides clenching and he just knew that this was serious. He tried to remain calm, to hide his worries, Fëanor was agitated enough as it was and he didn’t want to add fuel to the fire. “You are sure about this?”

His son nodded, the grey eyes dark with emotions Finwë couldn’t recognize, there was so much of himself in his son and yet sometimes Fëanor seemed almost feral, untamed like some wild beast. The fire burning in those eyes sometimes frightened even Finwë and he regretted that their relationship had become so strained, but his son would never forgive him for having remarried. “ Yes, there is no doubt about it, I have seen it for myself.”

Finwë sighed and turned towards the window, the city lay bathed in the light of Telperion and he did feel weird. It was almost a sort of anger burning within him, a sort of resistance. “ The idea is terrible son, it will ruin him”

Fëanor stepped forth. “ He is strong, he will cope. It is better that way, it will provide him with a much needed shield. We have enemies atar, if they find out about this they will…”

Finwë pinched the bridge of his nose, took a deep breath. “ Use it against us yes, I know. But it is taking it a bit too far wouldn’t you say? We are not Vanyar, I know they have a custom of doing this but the noldor have never been meddling with the hearts of others this way”

Fëanor almost growled. “ I am doing it for him damn it. Imagine the scandal? He is a good son, a respected member of court, he has influence. And his brothers will suffer too, it will affect us all if it gets out.”

Finwë closed his eyes. “ And yet, if he really loves him then…”

Fëanor interrupted him harshly. “ He can continue shagging his cousin for all I care, but under the cover of a marriage. I have already found the perfect nis for him, everything is organized”

Finwë almost moaned. “ Sometimes your impatience is frightening! You ought to think this through son, and have you even bothered to ask him what he may feel about this arrangement of yours?” 

Fëanor sent his father an almost wry grin. “ No, he won’t have the time to protest. He will do as he is being told atar, I am his father after all” 

Finwë wanted to protest, to say that he after all was the grandfather and should have some influence on the family affairs too but he knew that Fëanor never would obey him, not anymore. “Still I think this is rather rash, and unwise.”

Fëanor shrugged. “He’ll get married, so what? We both know how little that word is worth right?”

The words were spat out and Finwë managed to restrain his own wrath but only barely. “ He is not me son, nor is he you. He ought to rule his own fate!”

Fëanor sneered. “ And ruin the rest of our family, our reputation and honor? No atar, I didn’t come to ask for permission, just to let you know that it will be done. Do not think that your arguments are valid here, for they are not!”

The king of the noldor felt something constricting within his chest, when did his son become so resentful, so adamant and willful he refused to listen to common sense? “ I see, but for the sake of your son, please, reconsider this.”

Fëanor sent him a flaming glance, there was something almost malevolent in those eyes and Finwë felt a sudden urge to back away from him, but he didn’t. “ I won’t. I have made my decision atar. You can tell those bastards of yours that they are welcome at the wedding, even that brat my son is fucking.” 

Fëanor walked out of the hall with his robes flowing behind him and Finwë wondered yet again how his mild and gentle Miriel could have given birth to something that frustratingly stubborn and wild. But this would not end well, he just knew it. It would result in a disaster and he sat down and closed his eyes. He loved his son and he loved his grandchildren dearly and he wanted them to be happy. But Fëanor was at least partly right, if his grandson went public with his relationship to his own cousin there would be an uproar, made even worse by the fact that they both were male. The noldor didn’t care that much about same sex relationships but the Vanyar did and those darn pious families were powerful enough to cause them all problems.

He sighed, felt old all of a sudden. He felt a sudden urge to rush after his son and beg him to listen, to call this scheme of his off but he remained sitting and stared at the gilded statues of the valar that adorned the wall at the other end of the room. They were as blind and deaf to this as their real living counterparts and Finwë got onto his feet. He would keep this to himself for as long as possible, his wife didn’t need to know and the rest of his children would find out soon enough. It was a very difficult situation and the high king didn’t find any rest that night. He already knew that Fëanor probably had the marriage contract ready and he couldn’t help but pity the poor nis that was to get married into this family, and probably on false premises too.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of the quill against the parchment was the sound of doom, of the very end of everything she had ever hoped for. Every dream, every vision came crumbling down with that moment and she just sat there, staring into nothing as if her very fëa had evacuated her body. She had never thought that they would do this to her, but now she knew otherwise.

It had started a couple of weeks earlier, she had been sitting in the garden working on a very difficult embroidery when a messenger arrived from Tirion, the ellon rode a very expensive horse and he wore the uniform of the high kings courtiers. She got curious, they had never received any messengers from the court before, it had to be something very important.  
Slowly she had sneaked her way through the house and stopped behind a door that was slightly ajar. It was far from the office where her father would meet guests but close enough for her to hear at least a few words. She had pressed her ear to the wood, her mother was there too and she sounded as if she was in shock and yet very excited for some reason. But the door to the office had been closed and so she could not hear what they were talking about. The messenger had left and she had hurried back to her needlework, Her mother would be furious if she caught her daughter doing nothing.

She didn’t even look up as the messenger passed by, a lady should never show curiosity but be humble and demure. The rules of good behavior had been pushed down over her head since she was a toddler and there was no escape from them. To her mother she was a project and the outcome of it would determine whether or not her mother was good enough in her role as a housewife and mother. Her mother had only one fear and that was the fear of her family being anything less than perfect. Everything had to be in order, when they received guests she would work herself into a frenzy, making sure that every little detail was just right, it all had to be impeccable, stunning and without the smallest flaw.

Lerina was the youngest of three children, her brother and sister were already married with children of their own when she was born and since they were so well respected and with both influence and status Lerina’s mother was determined to create a perfect lady out of her daughter. Lerina’s father was a very wealthy merchant, he was selling everything from fine cloth to horses to the nobles of Tirion and the family mansion was grand and beautiful with many servants and plenty of luxury. But it was a cold place, a place where feelings didn’t matter at all. All that mattered was that perfect façade where conversations were empty and orchestrated and false and the smiles and laughter sounded like the cawing of vultures. Lerina hated it, she hated it all.

She hadn’t been allowed to learn how to read and write for it wasn’t feminine in her mother’s opinion. A nis was supposed to sing and dance and take care of her family and the needs of her husband and that was it. Lerina was dead tired of it all, having to sit there like a doll, keeping a stiff and artificial grin on her face while everybody else seemed to live in a very different world. Lerina’s father was a noldo, and he didn’t involve himself in the raising of his children at all, he was busy with his business and the only thing he required was for Lerina to stay quiet and out of sight unless they had guests. Then she would be shown off like some gem and it just wasn’t her. But she couldn’t protest, she had to be obedient like some thrall without her own voice or opinion. Lerina’s mother was half teleri and half vanyar and unfortunately it was the piousness of the vanyar that was the most striking part of her personality.

She did worship the valar with a dedication that was close to fanatic and Lerina had to partake in it every day. The two hours of prayer every morning was okay with her, she gladly participated since it was the only time of the day when her mother didn’t talk. The silence was like a calming balm upon frayed nerves and even though Lerina didn’t share her mother’s dedication she pretended to, just to be left in peace. Lerina had been a disappointment to her parents from the start. Her father had wanted another son, and he had hardly spoken to her at all. Her mother wanted a daughter that would outshine the other ellith with wit and charm and beauty and Lerina was neither. Oh she wasn’t ugly, in fact some said that she was a very exotic and different beauty but she was far from her mother’s ideal. She had come of age just two years prior and her mother had been beside herself with worry since she hadn’t received any suitors yet. To get her daughter married off to someone with money or influence was her ultimate goal and Lerina was glad she apparently was unattractive.

She hadn’t changed at all since she was a mere youth, she had gotten taller of course but she had a flat chest and no shapes and she did look rather prepubescent still. Her face was lovely, huge eyes and high cheekbones, a pair of very lovely pink lips and a cute nose but she was just too darn well behaved to attract the ellyn. In fact she was painfully shy around others and pretending to be some sort of living doll had become her shield and protection.

Her hair was nice, she was proud of it, it reached her calves and was thick and shiny with a dark silvery color, some said it looked like thin strands of Mithril and praised it and she just mumbled the appropriate answer and tried to smile. It was in fact ironic that her name meant the free one when she was everything but free. Oh how she longed to be just anybody, even the poor had more freedom than her. She longed to just stroll through the streets without a chaperone and go for rides in the woods or run along the beach barefooted. Her mother had never allowed her to ride a horse and when she asked why she was given a vague answer, something about it being harmful for young maidens.  
She had never been alone with an ellon and her mother was very careful when she picked out who Lerina was allowed to meet. 

It felt like choking, like drowning and Lerina had become more and more desperate over the years. Her sister had often visited with her children and that was like an oasis of joy in a desert of constant demands and never ending criticism. But Lerina had never been allowed to visit her sister in return and she had barely seen anything of the world outside their home and the area of the city it was built within. She burned and yearned to see more, learn more but they wouldn’t let her. She had one secret though, she did know how to read. One of her nannies had taught her when she was much younger and she had kept it a secret ever since. Her mother was afraid that the ellyn would shun an elleth that was too smart, after all, a pretty face and the ability to bear heirs was all that was needed wasn’t it?

Lerina had understood that something was off rather quickly, the house had sort of buzzed with energy and she had started to feel nervous. There was such a strange light in her mother’s eyes and her father had looked rather satisfied too, like a cat which have caught a very fat rat. But they didn’t tell her why, they didn’t speak to her at all and she was starting to feel a bit desperate. Her mother had ordered the maids to take Lerina’s measurements and she had overheard a conversation with the seamstress which indicated that Lerina would receive a whole new wardrobe. Dresses, skirts, everything. She realized that this only could mean one thing, she had a suitor but she had no idea of who this could be. She feared that it was one of her father’s business partners, they were much older than her and very strict and she felt like she was trapped in a cage that slowly shrunk around her.

Then they asked her to come to the room which served as a sort of family meeting chamber, it was small and rather nice but Lerina had never liked it. Even there the hunger for influence was apparent and so very visible. Her parents were waiting and they seemed glad, joyful even. Lerina had done what she always did, she kept her eyes on the floor and her hands at her side, sat down with elegance but only when she was ordered to. Her mother almost smiled, it looked odd and Lerina found it almost unnatural. Her mother never smiled, that mouth of hers was always squeezed into a thin hard line. “ Lerina, dear child, we have wonderful news for you”

Lerina doubted the truth of those words, wonderful for them maybe, hardly what she would have wanted to hear. But she didn’t protest, she just stared at her feet. “ Yes mother.”

Her humble voice soft and low and melodic and her father held a piece of parchment in his hand. There was a quill and ink on the small table and Lerina felt her heart sink within her chest. She knew what that parchment was, she could see the title from where she was sitting but she managed to keep her face neutral, didn’t reveal her secret. It was a marriage contract and she wished that the very ground itself could open up and swallow her, hide her forever. She didn’t want to get married, ever.

Her father looked very pleased with himself. “ Our hard work has paid off, a messenger arrived from the court with a most welcome letter. Your hand has been asked for in marriage daughter.”

Lerina managed to avoid a frown from forming on her brow, court? None of her father’s friends were a part of the court? What was this? Her mother was so eager she almost shivered. “ Oh Lerina, the letter came from the crown prince himself. He is asking for your hand on behalf of his firstborn son.”

Lerina felt as if she was about to pass out, a prince?! Why would the royals bother with someone like her? Oh Eru have mercy, if her life had been miserable before it would be ten times worse from now on. Being part of the court meant being under constant scrutiny and surveillance, never to be left alone for a single moment, always to be judged and compared with others. It was a nightmare! Her mother clapped her hands. “ Oh see, she is so happy she is unable to speak!”

Lerina felt like screaming, like breaking into tears but she somehow managed to stay calm, to look as controlled as ever. I am dead! That was her only thought, the halls would be a much better place for her than this. Her father grasped the pen and the ink and signed the contract, also on her behalf since she officially didn’t know how to write. Lerina stared at his hand, it was signing what to her was the end of her life, of her hopes and dreams. How could this be? She managed to squeak. “ Why me?”

Her mother obviously believed that Lerina was so overcome with joy she was unable to talk properly and her eyes were shining. “The crown prince have contacts everywhere, and has spoken with your uncle. He recommended you since you are young and have a flawless reputation.”

Lerina had met the crown prince once, at a festival. She had only seen him from a distance but she remembered the energy that seemed to flow from the dark haired ellon, and she remember his son too. Oh Eru, was she to marry Nelyafinwë? It could not be true, it was impossible! She could not become the wife of a prince? She wasn’t ready, nor was she worthy!

Her mother got up and her smile was wider than ever. “ Imagine, a daughter of ours, in the royal family. It is such a day of joy and such an honor. We will become more influential than ever before.”

Lerina just stared out into nothing. “ Yes mother.”

Her happiness meant nothing, her life meant nothing, but their power and influence was everything. She couldn’t cry but she wanted to, by Eru how she wanted to. Her father folded the contract and put it into an envelope. “ Your betrothal starts today, a ring will arrive in a couple of days and the wedding is one year from today. Rest assure that your wedding will be grand! “

Lerina had problems breathing. A year? A year was nothing, what was she to do? She managed to keep her façade up, to say what they expected of her. “ Yes father, thank you father,”

He smiled at her, the first real smile she had received from him for many long years. “Go to your rooms daughter and pray, the valar have blessed us all. This will be a day worth celebrating”

Lerina got up, curtsied and walked towards her room like a doll in the hands of a puppet master, her eyes were empty and her hands trembling. One year, that was all she had left of her real life. What awaited her afterwards she could only dread. And there would be no escape, no chance of avoiding this. She was doomed. As soon as she was safe in her own room she threw herself down onto her bed, shivering all over. But she didn’t cry, her eyes were dry and her body felt stiff and cold, the shock had been too great, and her fear too strong. She had nothing to look forward to now, she would be a pawn yet again, this time to a husband rather than her father but it would be no less terrible and the demands no less harsh. If the lord of the dead suddenly had appeared in front of her now she would have begged him to claim her fëa right away. The halls seemed to be her only way out of this nightmare.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He saw him from afar, the horse he rode was running as if it had been whipped and the long dark hair flowed behind him. It was a mesmerizing sight, and yet it caused him to frown and climb down from the branch he had been sitting on. The distraught expression on Fingon’s face told him he knew and Maedhros sighed and waited. His cousin brought the horse to an abrupt halt and the animal skidded and it almost lost its balance and fell.  
Maedhros didn’t even have time to react before he had his arms full of a trembling ner who grasped onto him like he was the last hope of someone drowning. “ Tell me it isn’t true! Eru! Say it isn’t so!”

Maedhros swallowed hard. “Who told you?” 

Fingon was staring at him with eyes that were desperate, huge! “I met Tyelko at the market, he didn’t mean to, but he had a slip of the tongue. How could you!!”

Maedhros sighed, a deep sigh that made his chest heave. “I wasn’t given a choice! And that is the truth. Atar demands it, and I cannot disobey him, not in this!”

Fingon grasped onto his collar with both hands, Maedhros could feel them tremble. “It will be the end, the end of all that we are! Can’t you see it?? She will steal you from me!”

Maedhros grasped his hands with his own slightly larger ones. “ No, she won’t. She’ll never own my heart, for it only belongs to you and this you know. My father has picked her out and I have never even met her.”

Fingon made a whimpering sound. “Then how can you agree on this….this lie?! It isn’t you”

Maedhros nodded slowly, the hurt in his eyes was very obvious. “I have agreed just to please my atar, and to protect us both.”

Fingon scoffed. “ Protect? What are you talking about?”

Maedhros grasped Fingon, held him close and felt how he relaxed into the embrace. “ You know just as well as me that our relationship is something others will deem as shameful and wrong, even sinful. But if I am married it will shield us, they will not see anything wrong with you visiting me when I have a lovely wife as an alibi.” 

Fingon groaned. “ It isn’t right, you will spend your days with her, your nights too, when you ought to spend them with me!” 

Maedhros nodded slowly, kissed Fingon’s forehead and let long dexterous fingers slide through the long silky dark hair. “ I know, and I wouldn’t want anything more than to have you by my side forever. But it cannot be, and you know that too!”

Fingon had a grimace of near agony on his face. “ I hate them all for not letting us be together.”

Maedhros let a finger glide across the soft lips of his lover, stared into those lovely blue eyes and knew that no gem ever could shine as exquisitely as them. “ You do not mean that, we just have to adapt.”

Fingon grasped his hand, kissed it with passion and not a small amount of desperation. “ You are the one strong enough to stand against any storm, to hold your head up high no matter what life throws at you. I am not as strong as you are my love”

Maedhros smiled and kissed him again, softly and slowly. “ Strength has nothing to do with it, only love. It is the only way we can stay together without causing a scandal. Do you really want to hurt our families?”

Fingon sighed and he stared at the ground with a sad expression. “ Of course not! But I am scared Maitimo, so scared. What if you fall in love with her?” 

Maedhros shook his head. “ That will not happen and you know it, my heart is already taken, by you!”

Fingon put his arms around the taller ner and breathed in his scent as countless times before. “Still I feel worried, you will have a home of your own, people will have expectations you know.” 

Maedhros laughed. “And I will laugh at them, oh worry not my heart, it will be okay. The wedding is in a year from now and then you can visit me whenever you like, and we can live as if we were bonded also in the lawful way.”

Fingon had a dreamy expression within his eyes, but he made a strange grimace. “ What about your wife then? What if she disagrees?” 

Maedhros scoffed. “ She will have to obey me, I know she has been raised as a Vanyar and I do not care if she doesn’t like it.” 

Fingon grinned and kissed Maedhros neck, let his tongue slide along the smooth silky skin and nipped at his chin, very gently and yet with enough force to leave a tiny mark. “Fingon?!”

He grinned again at his lover’s voice and purred. “ Well, it is just normal to celebrate a betrothal isn’t it? And I know just how to celebrate yours.”

Maedhros swallowed hard, Fingon’s hand was already sliding over his crotch, teasing him and causing him to harden and stretch against the fabric of his pants. He hissed and grasped the hand, pushed himself against it and Fingon gasped and blinked a few times. “ Indeed you do!”

“Let me worship you, let me show you pleasure your betrothed never will give you” 

Maedhros licked his lips, he liked this side of Fingon, and he had never seen it so openly displayed before. “ Please do then”

Fingon just nodded and started stroking Maedhros hard length through his pants as he slowly and very deliberately unbuckled his belt and removed the long outer robes the tall redhead was wearing. Maedhros was leaning against the tree as Fingon got his clothes out of the way, he knew that his lover tried to reassure himself that everything was okay, that Maedhros still would be his. Fingon grasped his hips and crouched down and before long a warm tongue was caressing his cock, it was done with great care and excellent technique and Maedhros moaned Fingon’s name and had to fight hard not to thrust into that welcoming heat.

Fingon could take him rather deep too, he had gotten used to it and taught himself not to gag and this time he obviously wanted to outdo himself for it had never been thus, ever. He was shivering as pleasure surged through his body and he felt how Fingon used one hand to gently caress his balls too. It was almost too much, it felt too good and he knew he couldn’t last. They hadn’t seen each other for more than a week and Maedhros had missed him and longed for his touch. He tensed up and howled as he released and Fingon drank it all down, licked him clean afterwards with slow and seductive movements. Eru, he was amazing. 

Before long he was hard again and Fingon stepped back, started to remove his own garments. Maedhros stared at him, his eyes hungry and his heart beating hard. His lover was the most beautiful thing there was, the soft creamy skin, the silky dark hair, his eyes glazed with arousal and passion. Fingon was breathing hard by now, he was fully aroused and Maedhros had always thought that the sight of him thus was just as exquisite as his mother’s finest statues.  
Fingon stretched, languidly and deliberately like a cat, his eyes dark. “Do you like what you see?”

Maedhros just growled. “ Yes, do not tease me”

Fingon took a step back, turned around and fell onto his knees and hands, his head lowered and his long hair loose. “ I am yours, please, do what you wish to me.” 

Maedhros chuckled, he got the rest of his clothes off. “ You are eager aren’t you? So wanton, but I like it. I wouldn’t have you any other way” 

He was kneeling down behind his lover and let his hands explore and tease and prepare the shivering body in front of him. They had coupled several times before but never like this, out in the open. Fingon gasped and arched his back as Maedhros started to prepare him. “ My left pocket, a small vial”

Maedhros grinned. “ You have come prepared, how considerate of you.”

He found the vial filled with oil and coated his fingers with some of it, started to stretch and tease his beautiful partner and Fingon keened and started rocking back and forth against the intruding fingers. “ I want you love, now!”

Maedhros moaned, the sight of Fingon’s passion and need turned him on too, he felt as if he was on fire. He quickly prepared himself before he grasped onto Fingon and replaced the fingers with his cock, slid inside with one smooth thrust. Fingon threw his head back, eyes closed, mouth open and a wordless cry upon his lips. It was wonderful, it was sweet madness and overwhelming desire and before long they both were grasped by their insatiable need for each other. Moans and gasps were soon replaced by cries and howls and Fingon finally keened and released, shuddering almost violently. Maedhros followed suit and roared his lover’s name and they collapsed into a heap of shivering flesh and bones.

Fingon finally managed to form a coherent thought, he kissed Maedhros softly and put an arm around him. “ Promise me you’ll never let her take my place.”

Maedhros just grinned and kissed Fingon back. “ I swear, I will not even touch her.” 

Fingon smiled, a very content smile. “ Good, I know the reputation you have gained, but that will have to stop whence you are married right?” 

Maedhros nodded, feeling a wee bit ashamed of himself. He had gotten a reputation that was a bit naughty to say the least. Rumors said that he bedded a new nis every night and even though it was a great exaggeration there was some truth in it. He had no problems bedding females and liked it too but he did it all to mask his real interest. There were countless broken hearts in his tracks but he didn’t care about them at all. The nissi he had slept with had been a nice way to relax and distract him but nothing more. He had never met a nis capable of catching his attention and keeping it, after a night of pleasure he was bored of them all. He held Fingon close. “ I promise that I won’t fool around again, I have no need for that now.” 

Fingon let his hand slide through his lover’s red locks, his eyes distant and his expression almost dreamlike. “ Know what, maybe it isn’t such a bad idea after all. I bet you will get your own house, a great one, with many rooms. We can explore them together and pretend as if we both live there.”

Maedhros nodded. “ You make it sound so wonderful, yes, that is how it is gonna be for sure.”

Fingon buried his face against Maedhros neck, breathed in his scent yet again. “ It will be fantastic, I am sure of it.” 

The tall ner kissed his forehead, closed his eyes. “ When I am with you love, I could live in a hole in the ground and I wouldn’t mind at all”

Fingon just mumbled and enjoyed the sensation of skin against skin and the warmth of his lover. “Just one year, and we won’t have to fuck out in the woods no more.”

Maedhros snickered. “ Not that I mind doing it out here, but a bed and a warm room will be nice. “

Fingon lifted his face towards his lover’s. “ And a bath, a warm bath with lots of oils and ointments and perfume, we can enjoy each other for hours” 

Maedhros almost purred. “ Oh aren’t you the eager one, but that gives me ideas. Yes, come here and let me show you what those mental images of yours are doing to me” 

Fingon squealed with delight. “ I already know, tall one indeed.” 

Maedhros rolled them over, pinned Fingon underneath him. “Yes, and completely yours, eternally yours!”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Lerina had never believed that things would change this much, that her entire life would seem to have been turned upside down. She had never been anybody special, she was just a partaker in her mother’s tea parties and nobody had ever paid any attention to her but now it all of a sudden changed. Suddenly she was invited to elves she never even had heard of, and countless others came visiting her. She managed to act the way she was supposed to, and her mother seemed to be proud of that, but it left her terribly confused. Lerina wasn’t stupid at all, she was very well aware of the fact that these people wanted to gain influence through her, to use her to their advantage. It hurt her a lot but she couldn’t let anyone see that.

The constant attention was causing her nerves to itch, she was unaccustomed to it and it made her feel as if they all were hunters and she the deer. She knew that she didn’t come out as a very open or warm person, her behavior was controlled and she kept her distance, for once her mother’s rules and upbringing was a good thing. There were ladies arriving almost every day, some brought her gifts, others just wanted to chat but she knew that they all just wanted to gain a piece of the cake. She would be a part of the royal family, they wanted her to recommend them, to give them a chance at increased influence. It was sickening.

And yet she sat there, endured boring tea parties and meetings with that stupid benevolent grin upon her face while she really wanted to scream at them all and just make them leave her alone. As the months went by she started to realize that there was also another side to it, not all wanted to flatter her or fawn up to her. Some were angry. There were nissi out there who felt that she didn’t deserve any of this, who had dreamed of being the one getting married to the high king’s grandson and they were without mercy. Rumors were being spread, some rather vicious, while others tried to bring her reputation into question.

There were hateful remarks being hissed at her at the many social gatherings she now had to attend to, some even tried physical assault. One nis poured a whole glass of red wine onto Lerina’s best dress, and another one tried to replace her small jar of lip balm with one containing a very irritating ointment. It only made Lerina even more terrified of her future life and she slowly managed to get some more information about her future husband. It didn’t do anything to make her feel better. He had a reputation for being far from celibate, they said he had bedded countless nissi and that his appetite was insatiable. Lerina felt physically ill when she heard this, she didn’t want anything to do with him, but how was she to escape from this nightmare?

Some of the nissi visiting would get rather rowdy whence the wine started flowing and there were lots of tales being shared of friends of them who had bedded the prince and the descriptions could become rather explicit after a while. Lerina felt her cheeks burn, she had no interest in knowing whether or not he was hung like a horse, or listen to warnings about his preferences. When these days came to an end she usually wept for hours, completely drained emotionally and absolutely terrified. Her mother didn’t see how distressed Lerina had become, she only basked in the glory of being the law mother of a royal and used it for all it was worth.

Lerina lost her appetite completely, she forced herself to eat but lost weight and soon her father started to make remarks about her hollow cheeks and skinny frame. That sent her mother into a fit of panic and before long Lerina was literally force fed food that made her utterly disgusted. It was all made to make sure she put some weight on but it served to make her feel even more depressed. Her mother kept her busy all the time, the customs required that a bride was to bring a chest of things to her new home and that chest had to be impeccable if she was to be considered a good wife. Lerina had to embroider everything from handkerchiefs to sheets and towels and napkins and shirts and all sort of household articles and there had to be at least eight of each. The embroideries had to consist of their first letters and the emblems of their houses and Lerina had never hated embroidering as much as she did now. Her eyes were aching and her fingers too and her mother never stopped complaining about her stitches being too sloppy or the colors wrong. 

She had to endure also her mother’s countless attempts at making Lerina look better. Skin treatments were the new craze and she had her nails done each day, and her entire body massaged to make sure her shape was right. It could have been nice if the nissi her mother had hired to do the job had been left alone with Lerina. But her mother insisted on being present and she was obviously physically unable to keep her mouth shut. 

Lerina wondered why her father had married that nis in the first place, she knew that their parents had a rather platonic relationship and that she and her siblings were born because her father needed heirs. To her mother the physical part of marriage was simply a duty to be endured, not enjoyed and Lerina started to realize that her father probably was rather unhappy in many ways. She had seen him smiling at other nissi in a way he never smiled at her mother and it sort of made her slightly disgusted. But at the same time she did pity him and she started to realize that her parents in fact were terribly shallow. 

She prayed every day, prayed that something would happen that would mean that the wedding could be cancelled but the valar didn’t listen. She prayed that lord Namo would come for her fêa but the lord of the halls obviously turned a deaf ear to her pleas. Lerina knew that the main tower of the mansion was rather tall, if someone threw themselves from that they were surely to die but how the heck was she to get up there without anyone stopping her? Her mother was watching her like a hawk now, at all times. It felt like being imprisoned and she had suffered a few panic attacks which her mother had scoffed at and deemed as being wedding jitters. Lerina was surrounded by people all the time and yet she felt more alone than ever, every decision was made without her being asked even once, she just sat there like a statue while her mother ordered everything from flowers to dresses and Lerina knew that her mother was planning the dream wedding she herself never had.

As the day crept closer gifts started arriving, some were from her fiancé but she strongly suspected that it was his father who had sent them in his name. It usually was jewelry of the most exquisite kind and her parents were in complete awe of it all. Lerina never got to wear any of it, it went straight to the vaults but Lerina had caught her mother wearing a nice necklace with moonstones and rubies once, as if she was the bride to be. Others too sent gifts, she even got a horse and her father told her it was a mare from Oromë’s own stock. Of course she wasn’t allowed to ride the gorgeous palomino but they kept the horse since her father never had owned such an exquisite animal and he already made plans for which stallion he ought to use to produce foals he could sell.  
Lerina sort of resigned by now, she no longer had the will or the strength to do anything except going with the flow. She lived one day at a time and tried to forget about that terrible fact that the wedding was getting closer and closer.

Then her mother got her maids, she was to become a princess and as such she ought to have personal servants. The two nissi her mother had hired were older than Lerina and both were obviously jealous of her and neither was very nice. They were sucking up to Lerina’s mother all the time but when they were alone they treated the young nis like trash. She was told she was too skinny, that she was stupid or unattractive and that her husband would continue to screw around. She was being accused of being unworthy of such a union and one of them even managed to claim that Lerina probably was barren since she had such an appalling lack of female shapes. She feared them both, her mild and conflict shy personality didn’t allow her to fight back, she just allowed them to verbally abuse her and she just knew it, when she had to appear in court everything would be a hundred times worse.

And then the day was just a week away and the entire house went into a frenzy, preparations were made everywhere even though the wedding itself was to be held in the royal palace, there were servants running around everywhere, the level of stress was sky high and Lerina was sitting in the middle of this hurricane of activity and felt as if she was caught in some weird dream. Her mother was everywhere at once or so it seemed and she was beaming with joy, in fact Lerina had never seen her this happy and so she just went along with every suggestion, it wasn’t as if she cared anymore. The day before the wedding they all went to the palace in a huge convoy and Lerina sat in the carriage and felt dead inside. Tomorrow would be the most terrible day of her life and she had no idea of how she was to endure.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding has to happen but Things doesnt look so bad, until they really do...

Chapter two: Crimson and white, darkness and light

The palace was overfilled with elves, there were guests coming from near and far and they had to be given rooms and the servants were running around with wild eyes and the chaos was almost perfect. Lerina and her family were placed in a suite and it was grand and beautiful and Lerina wished that she could have enjoyed the view and the gorgeous rooms but she couldn’t. This the last night before the wedding the bride to be wasn’t allowed to be alone and so she was surrounded by her mother’s friends and other nissi she didn’t even know. They did paint her feet and hands with beautiful patterns made with a paste that left a golden color on the skin and they brushed her hair until it shone but she felt completely alone. 

The valar had abandoned her for sure and she just sat there, and let the other females tend to her like she was some mannequin doll. Her mother was constantly repeating the words she had to say at the ceremony and she knew them by heart now but she still had to repeat them again and again. There were other elves dropping by to say their blessings or to leave gifts and she tried to appear grateful but it was so very hard. She saw that some members of the family of her fiancé dropped by too, his uncles and aunts and some of his brothers. She was sure she looked like some moron, she was too numb to really care.   
She felt their eyes upon her and she did notice that some of them looked a bit shocked, or rather in doubt. No wonder, she was not born to become a princess, and she didn’t want this at all.   
When she finally was allowed to sleep it was in a room filled with others and she wished she could cry herself to sleep but knew that it was impossible. They would all see it and her mother would scold her for making her eyes puffy and red. The only good thing about this was that she wouldn’t have to listen to her mother’s constant nagging again. When she did fall asleep she was so mentally exhausted she didn’t even dream, she just prayed that she wouldn’t wake up again. 

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In another part of the palace the groom was preparing for the grand day, he stood in the middle of the room while his mother adjusted the belt for his robes. He was staring at his reflection in the mirror with a frown and Nerdanel sighed and lifted her arm, caressed his cheek gently. “ Please, do at least try to look happy? If not for his sake then for mine. I cannot bare to see you thus.”

Maedhros sighed and lowered his gaze, a sad grin appeared on his face and he closed his eyes. “ I cannot lie mother, I do not want this!”

 

Nerdanel embraced him. “ I know, oh Eru I know and I am so sorry I couldn’t make your father change his mind about this.”

He breathed in the scent of his mother and the safety she always had represented to him. “I know, I do not blame you, I would never blame you.” 

Nerdanel caught his gaze with her own. “He is not doing this out of malice my dear, he is doing it because he cares.” 

Maedhros shook his head. “ No, he is doing it because he is scared! That is the truth! Scared of loosing influence, of having his family regarded as anything less than perfect.”

Nerdanel got a very saddened expression on her face. “ But he does love you my Maitimo, he loves you all!”

He bit his lower lip, felt trapped and pulled in several different directions at once. “ I know, but he has an odd way of showing it.”

Nerdanel smiled, her eyes distant. “ Your father has always been better at practical things than showing his feelings, but do try to forgive him.”

He tried to smile, a real smile. “ I have forgiven him mother, but I cannot say that I in any way want this marriage to happen. It is a charade, a lie. I cannot love that nis, she will never have my heart.” 

Nerdanel grasped onto his robes, her hands rough and hard from hours of work with hammer and chisel. “ Then at least let her have your friendship, remember, she is innocent in this, just as you are. I know how hard this must be to her, do not crush her with indifference.” 

Maedhros just shrugged. “ I will treat her well mother.”

Nerdanel let out a sigh once more.. “ Of course you will, now, turn around so I can see if that seam is straight”

When his clothes were perfect he was left to himself and he knew that he ought to spend the night praying but he just scowled at the statues of the valar and grasped a bottle of wine. He wanted to get drunk but knew that he couldn’t. It would be a scandal so he just had one glass, out of respect for his mother. He had been visited by his grandfather earlier that day and Finwë had seemed very nervous and a bit sad too. It was rather apparent that he didn’t share his son’s view upon certain matters. But Maedhros felt good knowing that his dear grandfather was on his side in this, and he suspected that many others too shared that attitude.

Maglor had visited the bride to deliver some gifts and he told Maedhros that she looked absolutely terrified and that she appeared to be underage even though she was way past her hundredth begetting day. Maedhros cringed and swallowed the wine, felt it soothe his nerves. He had to go through with it, there was no turning back. He did it for his family, not for his father for in this he didn’t agree with Fëanor at all. Why should he have to hide the way he felt about his cousin? He knew that Fêanor and his younger half brothers didn’t see eye to eye but why should that affect the rest of the family? In his eyes his love was as pure as it could be and stronger than mithril.

He was getting ready for bed when there was a knock on the window, he frowned and went over to it, pulled the curtains aside and blinked when it saw Fingon perched on a branch of the huge maple growing outside of the palace walls. He opened the window and Fingon jumped inside, smelling of tree-sap and dirt. “ I couldn’t stay away from you, I am sorry, I…I”

Fingon was clearly distraught and Maedhros sighed and embraced him, felt the warmth of his body and closed his eyes. Holding Fingon always felt like coming home, as if the world finally had become just perfect. He sniffed the familiar scent and knew why Fingon had come, after all, they were already bonded and his beloved’s feelings were strong. “It won’t change me, worry not.”

Fingon lifted his face, stared up at Maedhros with eyes that were wide and wet. “ Do you swear that?”

Maedhros kissed his brow gently, rocked him in his arms. “ I swear it by Eru, it will never change the way I feel about you.”

Fingon made a sobbing sound. “ I see it all, the preparations, the splendor, the guests and the whole thing and I cannot help but thinking that it ought to have been ours, all of it! This is not fair, it is we who deserve this, we who do love each other, who belong together. Why can’t they see that?” 

Maedhros just let his fingers slide through his cousins silky dark locks, he had those same thoughts but he was older and knew that sometimes you have to bend, or else you will break. “ Because they refuse to, they want everybody to fit inside of that small box they deem as normality, because that feels safe and familiar.” 

Fingon scoffed. “ And if everybody had been thinking like that back at the awakening nobody would have left Cuivienen in the first place but stayed and become Morgoth’s playthings.”

Maedhros grinned. “ You always cut straight to the core now don’t you?”

Fingon nuzzled his neck, standing tippy toed. “ Can I stay with you tonight? Why can’t we pretend as if this is our wedding night?” 

Maedhros sighed. “ The idea tempts me but no, they will find out about it for sure. I have to be alone love, I am sorry.” 

Fingon seemed to shrink out of sheer disappointment. “ I see, but tomorrow when everybody is cheering and smiling and wishing you well I will be crying inside.” 

Fingon seemed so fragile and Maedhros embraced him again, very gently but with passion. “ So will I love, the smile I will be wearing will be a mask, naught more.”

The dark haired ner grasped his hand, kissed it with fervor. “ I know, grandfather gave you a house, when will you be going there?”

Maedhros held Fingon close, it felt like real comfort, as if the problems diminished into something indifferent and small when he stood like that. “ Probably the day after the wedding, or the day after that. I am not sure yet. “

Fingon pressed his lips against Maedhros neck, wanted to taste him, to mark him in every way, to make the whole world see that this ner was his, and his alone but he couldn’t and it broke his heart into thousands of tiny fragments. “ Then prepare for visitors, really soon.”

Maedhros smiled and knew that this meeting had to end, before they did something silly they both would regret afterwards. “ I am looking forward to it, but now you must leave, get some rest and promise me you won’t cause a scandal tomorrow. See this as some sort of game, a play perhaps, a diversion.” 

Fingon sighed. “ I will, I promise I will behave myself. “

Maedhros gave him a swift and rather chaste kiss. “ Excellent, and now, do use the window for there are guards in the hallways.”

Fingon nodded and Maedhros opened the window again, the soft treelight made everything look as if it was covered with silver and he had barely seen anything as lovely as Fingon as he jumped back onto the branch and blew him a kiss goodbye.

He shut the window, closed the curtains and walked to the bed, sat down and stared into nothing. He refused to see the day to come as anything except a pretty orchestrated lie, to fool everybody. He was no idiot, he knew what his father feared and he just wished that Fêanor could have been a little bit less paranoid. Yes, the Vanyar had great influence and Indis was after all a vanya but Finwê would never replace Fêanor with Fingolfin, no matter what she said. Maedhros had sort of seen what his father couldn’t. Finwê didn’t as much love his new wife as he loved certain things she did. He knew that there were parts of Indis personality that Finwë just loathed and that wasn’t real love, not the way the eldar were supposed to love. He wondered why Manwë had agreed upon letting his grandfather remarry but maybe the high king had been so broken there had been no other choice. They had perhaps thought that Indis could heal him but she hadn’t. If anything she had created a diversion from the grief that was eating away at his strength but it was naught more than that. 

Maedhros sometimes thought of her as a broodmare, and he suspected that she had had that same thought. Those who had known Finwê and Miriel said they had shared a connection and a harmony of which there was nothing to be seen when they visited the high king and his new wife. Yes, he showered her with attention but treated her like a child in many ways and he didn’t really listen to her advice or see her as anything but a pretty thing he could spend time with and who would bear him more children. It had to hurt a lot to know this and he didn’t really blame the nis for being a bit of a bitch at times. She was clawing for power in whatever way she could and sadly she was falling short in almost every way when being compared with the first queen of the noldor. 

Maedhros knew that it was mostly because of her that Fêanor had insisted upon this wedding, the vanyar were so darn pious and the y were making laws and rules they thought the valar would approve of but truth be told, they didn’t seem to matter much to the valar at all. If it was some sort of competition trying to become more and more controlled and like the valar it was one without a winner nor a prize. But the vanyar saw the kind of relationship he had with Fingon as an abomination, as something sick and twisted and he just knew that there were many among them who shared his fate and hid their true nature in shame and self loathing and pretended to be like everybody else. And that was a very sad thought indeed.   
These vanyar had been just like the rest when they left the lake of awakening, they had danced and laughed and known no such thing as rules and laws? They had been the masters of their own fates and now that worship of theirs had become a cage threatening to throttle that within them which made them elves! Maedhros couldn’t really believe it but he knew that Fêanor was at least partly right when he said the valar didn’t care about the firstborn that much, that they all were just pawns in a play and that the vanyar were acting the way they were in desperation, to create a response, a reaction. It was like a child begging for the attention of a busy parent, and not caring about the consequences until it got it.

He undressed and got into bed, tried to sleep but it was hard, he felt restless and sort of nervous and he twisted and turned around for a long time. Normally he would have thought of Fingon and touched himself since he felt drowsy and tired afterwards but he felt that he couldn’t. His mind wasn’t in on it and he just resigned and lay there, staring at the ceiling. Everything would change the next day, and he feared it. He could only pray that this didn’t end in an utter disaster. 

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Lerina was awake when the maids came to wake her up and prepare her. They were giggling and singing and Lerina had a headache and felt absolutely terrible. She was dragged along into the bath of the suite and they bathed her, rubbed her with sweet smelling ointments and perfume and did her hair. Her mother had picked out the dress she was to wear, it was a very expensive thing made from silk and some other flimsy material and it was dark green with some silver color added along the edges of the sleeves and skirts. She was being dressed and styled and felt as if she was in the middle of a tornado, there was chatting and noise and colors and people everywhere and she felt nauseous and sad. She got some jewelry put on, an emerald necklace, some earrings and bracelets and sandals with gems attached to the straps but she felt like a wreck. With make up on she didn’t even recognize the nis she saw in the mirror but her mother was beside herself with amazement. She had succeeded, this was her triumph and Lerina had never seen her more radiant, more alive. She was beaming with joy and Lerina had to admit that her mother in fact was very beautiful and could be pleasant too, when things went her way. Several ner sent her some admiring glances and Lerina saw her blush and batter her lashes. Perhaps her mother would have been a better person if she had been allowed to choose with whom she wanted to live? 

Lerina just wanted it over with, but she had a long day in front of her. First they went to eat, and two nissi she didn’t know but presented themselves as cousins of her mother were feeding her so she didn’t soil the dress. It felt weird and awkward and just wrong. Then they went to the palace chapel to pray for two hours straight and then the whole group went to the huge hall were the wedding was to happen. Lerina was numb, she felt as if she really wasn’t there, but in some peculiar dream. The hall was wonderful, decorated with flowers and golden leaves and there were elves everywhere. She managed to walk tall and smile but she felt hunted. She saw that her mother was enjoying the day to the full, this was the grand wedding she had dreamed of but never had had and so this was her day more than Lerina’s. Lerina didn’t want to ruin it for her, after all, her mother had never been that nice to her before and tomorrow she would be a wife, and follow her husband.

The hall was separated into two areas, one for the royal family and one for the courtiers and everybody else who had come to witness the grandest wedding for years. She saw the high kings of all the groups and also some valar who stood in a small group at the head of the hall, surrounded by a few maiar and elven servants. The atmosphere was electric and she felt a shiver running down her spine. This was it, it was happening. Her father took her hand and leaded her down the stairs and up towards the altar and she felt hundreds of eyes upon her, not all very friendly but there was a quiet mumbling to be heard from every corner of the hall. The bride was indeed beautiful but she was so child –like and had she really come of age?

Lerina lifted her gaze, she saw her husband to be standing next to two of his brothers and his father by the altar and she felt her heart beating like a drum. How could anyone be that tall?! He was huge! He was dressed in green as well but his clothes were even nicer than her dress and he looked amazing but she saw the expression in his eyes and knew that he didn’t want this any more than she did. At least they were to share that fate. The ceremony itself was a short one, the actual wedding was the bonding of the two that was being wedded and that was to happen when they had retreated for the night into their own room. Lerina couldn’t even think of that, she tried to focus solely on the moment. Her father delivered her over to her groom with some words she didn’t even hear, there was a buzzing in her head, like a million bees was hiding in there. 

Maedhros took her hand and she cringed, her hand disappeared into his huge one and she saw the concern in those grey eyes. He looked a bit shocked, as if he hadn’t anticipated this. One of the maiar was leading the ceremony, there were prayers and songs and it was all very lovely but she felt as if the noose was being pulled tighter and tighter around her neck. Then there was time for their vows and she said the words her mother had taught her but she didn’t really hear what she said, her mind was elsewhere. She didn’t hear what he said but she was aware of his deep dark voice and his presence at her side. His brother, was that Maglor, brought forth the rings and she trembled as he put the ring onto her finger, it was to symbolize love but to her it was a symbol of imprisonment more than anything else.   
She managed to get his ring onto his finger without dropping it and then it was time to kneel and receive the blessing of the valar. The maia put a hand on top of their heads and she noticed that even when they were on their knees he was more than a head taller than her. She was a midget compared with her husband and the very thought of the things that would happen when they were alone made her sweat and shiver. She felt cold to the very core of her soul. 

 

The maia declared that they from now on were to be regarded as one fêa and one hrôa and everybody cheered but she did notice that a very handsome dark haired ner standing among the family of Fêanor’s brothers looked as if he was close to tears. Maedhros had to bend down quite a lot to kiss her and it was just a peck, very chaste and barely a touch at all. The ceremony was over and he took her hand and she let him lead her down to the table that was prepared for them. Now there was to be a feast and she wasn’t hungry at all. 

Her parents were placed on her side of the table with the rest of her relatives and his family was on the other side and before long there was merry chatting going on and a lot of entertainment were prepared as food was being served. Lerina barely touched her plates, she drank lots of water instead and tried to smile and look happy because her mother had told her that it was important. She felt that the tall ner by her side ignored her, he tried to pretend that this was some ordinary feast and so did she. She stared at the acrobats and listened to the minstrels and kept her mind occupied every second so that she wouldn’t have to think of that which was to come. 

Maedhros had been truly shocked when he saw her, she was tiny and looked as frail as a thin crystal vase and although she had a truly stunning face she did look prepubescent, just like his brother had said. She was also shivering and scared and close to tears and he felt a sense of pity growing in his heart. Her mother appeared to be a real she-dragon and Maedhros knew that this poor nis had been forced into accepting this, she hadn’t been given a choice at all. It was really quite sad and he wondered why his father had chosen her as his bride. It could perhaps be that she was known for her obedience and docile nature, or that her father was rather wealthy.

Her hand was so tiny and cold and he cursed to himself, they expected him to bond with her? To take her to bed and make her his wife? No way in hell! She was a child and there was nothing about her that he found attractive in the carnal way. He would never desire her, and the very idea of having to couple with someone that immature was sickening. No, she would remain a maiden and he could live without heirs, he didn’t care what others were thinking. He saw that Fingon stared at her and hoped that his true love didn’t hate the poor nis, she was not to blame for this misery and he already knew that her family was hungry for power and influence and wanted to become a part of the court. His father had given them permission, and this poor nis was the prize.

There was dancing and lots of merrymaking and even the most pious of the vanyar present seemed to enjoy themselves. Maedhros saw that many were more than a wee bit tipsy and dessert hadn’t even been served yet. Many came forth to congratulate the couple and Maedhros managed to smile and act as if this was something he really had wanted. Lerina smiled too but her eyes were dark and he felt her tremble next to him. She was truly scared and he had to admire the fact that she managed to control herself so well. Indis came over to chat with Lerina’s mother who seemed overwhelmed by the attention and she was clearly fawning up to the queen. There was a hint of sympathy in Indis eyes when she looked at the young bride and Maedhros realized that she probably understood what Lerina was feeling.

The newly-weds were supposed to dance but Maedhros had managed to avoid that part of the traditions. He hated to dance and he knew that it would look ridiculous too. He was so much taller than Lerina that it would be hard to dance and so they just sat there and watched the others. Lerina tried to appear as if she was enjoying herself but she wasn’t. It was just too much for her, too many impressions at once. She felt like a horse for sale at a market and wanted to run and hide but she managed to stay put with a hand in his and a seemingly happy smile on her face. Her facial muscles ached and she felt cold sweat running down her spine.

There were speeches, some short and funny while others were long and elaborate and pompous and Fêanor did also make a speech about how glad he was that his son finally had found a good nis to spend his life with, and he made jokes about grandchildren too. Lerina cringed, what if Maedhros was as fertile as his father? She didn’t want a whole herd of children?! There were toasts made in their honor and Lerina toasted in water and knew that she would spend some time on the privy getting rid of all that fluid before the night.

The gifts they had been given were displayed and it was everything from furniture and other useful household objects to rolls of expensive cloth and jewelry. It seemed as if the vanyar were exceptionally fond of giving away huge tapestries with woven images of the valar on them and some of them were ghastly. At least Lerina though so but she smiled and thanked the givers whole heartedly and she even managed to thank one of Finwê’s counsellors who gave them a very elaborate crib complete with blankets and everything. She had to play her role and play it well. 

Fingon sat with his family further down the table and he could barely look at them, his heart was aching and he felt as if he was barely able to breathe. There was no way back now, they had said their vows and gotten their rings and it was done. They were married and he and Maedhros would never have the future they had hoped for. Maybe it had been just a foolish dream but a beautiful dream nonetheless and one he loathed to have lost. He knew that this nis never would take his place, and he also knew that she wasn’t the one he ought to blame but it was hard not to, and yet, when he looked at that sweet young face with the huge dark eyes he did not hate her, he did pity her. It was impossible to hate her, but he did feel anger churning in his chest when he thought of his uncle and his smug smile. And he felt hatred towards her parents too, for having agreed with the crown prince, they could have said no, but then again, Fêanor would easily have found some other nis and Maedhros would have had to marry anyhow. 

There were a lot of entertainment and the day seemed to fly by, the atmosphere was relaxed and nice and the servants walked back and forth with more wine and food and even the elflings seemed to behave themselves. Maedhros two youngest brothers would usually try to do some pranks during social events but this time they hadn’t, Nerdanel had probably warned them of the consequences if they dared to ruin their brother’s wedding. When Curufin had gotten married just a few years earlier they had poured some strong liquor into the punch bowl and added a strong laxative to some of the food. It had been a mess.

The light from the trees started to mingle and Fëanor got to his feet, he looked as if he was a bit drunk but he stood straight and lifted his goblet one more time. “ To the bride and groom, may their wedding be truly blessed!” 

Everybody cheered and toasted and Maedhros sighed and felt how his bad mood returned. This meant that it was time for the couple to retreat back to their chamber and he dreaded this. Lerina went paper white and she looked as if she was about to swoon. Some maids came to take the bride away to prepare her and the bride’s mother followed them. Maedhros was grasped by his brothers and dragged along too and he just had to go with the flow. 

Lerina was taken to the huge room that was theirs for the night, it was a beautiful room with a large bed and it was warm and cozy but she didn’t see that. The maids removed her jewelry and her dress and put a white nightgown on her and her mother stood there and looked very proud of herself. Lerina wanted to disappear, to shrink into something infinitely small so she could hide but she couldn’t. The maids were making silly jokes about what she could expect to happen and she wanted to yell at them and tell them to keep their piehole shut. 

Her mother helped arrange her hair as they put her into the bed, she cocked her head and made Lerina sit up straight against the huge pillows. “ Now, remember, you must not resist him in any way. Your place is beneath him at all times and remember to pray the whole time. Keep your legs spread and do not scream or dishonor yourself with tears. This is something we all must endure, think of all the lovely children he will give you.” 

Lerina felt sick again and her head felt like a balloon. She could barely breathe and she trembled so bad her teeth were clattering. Her mother smiled and arranged the covers a little more. “ Make us proud dear, bear him heirs and your future will be secured.”

Lerina just nodded, absolutely terrified. She wasn’t stupid, she had learned more than her parents knew and she knew the most important things about what was to come. She knew it would hurt, and she knew that it probably would be terrible. She had to fight back her tears and the maids giggled and pulled the curtains, lit some lights and then she was left alone to wait for her husband to arrive. She grasped onto the covers with both hands, her chin trembling and her whole body felt ice-cold. She remembered what she had heard others tell her of this, and that he was impatient and liked it rough.

She couldn’t stop the tears anymore, they descended down her cheeks like small rivers and she sniffed and tried to remain in control of herself but she couldn’t. The dam was broken, and she was helpless. She wept for a good twenty minutes before she heard voices approaching and she squeaked and wished that she would pass out so she didn’t have to know what he was doing with her.   
She heard that it was Maedhros brothers and some of his friends and they were making jokes and rowdy remarks about the night to come. “ Make sure to break her inn well, such silvery fillies are known to buck you off if you are too generous with the reins”

She heard a muffled answer that sounded a bit angry and the door opened. Maedhros was more or less shoved into the room and the door was closed. He wore a long nightshirt and his hair was unbraided and reached past his waist. He did look angelic but she couldn’t even look at him. She sobbed and trembled and wished she was dead.

He saw her sitting in the bed and he saw that she was crying, damn it. What was he to do now? He had to make her calm enough for them to talk and he approached the bed slowly, with steady movements, the way he would approach a skittish horse. “ Lerina?”

She whimpered and her eyes were enormous and she was so pale, Eru, what did she think he was going to do to her? Murder her? “ Y…yes my lord?” 

He sat down onto the bed and she winced and started shaking even worse than before. “ Lerina, do not call me that. I am Nelyo, that is what my family calls me and you are family now aren’t you?”

She swallowed and her chin shivered again. “What…what …are you going to do…” 

Her voice was but a broken whisper and he felt such pity, such sadness. Those darn parents of hers had sacrificed her on the altar of their ambitions and he wished that he could rip their heads off. He smiled and sat down next to her, felt silly like never before. A night shirt, he had never worn one before and it felt unnatural since he normally slept in the nude but he was rather certain that the sight of him naked would have sent her into shock right away. “ I am going to talk to you Lerina, about this…arrangement.”

She didn’t look at him, she looked so much like a scared kid and he wanted to do what he used to do with his younger brother’s when they were small and something had scared them. He usually held them close and rocked them in his arms but he feared that she would collapse if he touched her so he didn’t. Instead he just held her hand and tried to look calm and non-threatening. “I know you didn’t want to marry me, and I didn’t want to marry you neither, uh, I mean…”

He knew he had made it sound as if it was something wrong with her and he grimaced and sighed. “Listen, it isn’t you alright? It is just that…I am already bonded!”

She turned her head around, a bit confused. “ You are? But…why…”

He swallowed hard, he had to trust her, since they after all would have to spend their days together from now on. “ My father doesn’t approve of our relationship, and he fear that there will be a scandal if it becomes publicly known that I am in love with my half cousin. So he forced me into this, just for the sake of our family honor.”

Lerina gasped, she stared at him and blinked a few times. “Your cousin? But…he is male?!”

Maedhros nodded, now she was probably going to think he was a perverted and sick thing. “ Yes, but we do love each other nonetheless.” 

Lerina swallowed hard. Her mother had always talked about people with such tendencies with nothing but contempt and disgust but Lerina didn’t want to be that sort of a person. “And yet you let your father arrange this?”

He nodded. “ Yes, I had to. So I have to be honest with you, you will never have my love, but I will be your friend and I hope I can see you as the sister I never got. Is that alright with you?”

Lerina stared at him in disbelief, she swallowed hard. “ So…so you aren’t going to…to touch me?”

Maedhros squeezed her hand. “ No Lerina, I am not going to touch you. Not tonight, not ever. I am not some bastard who forces himself onto someone clearly too immature. You are too young for this Lerina, and to be honest I am not attracted to your hroa at all.”

She bit her lower lip, there was a weird light in her eyes. “ But all the ladies claim that you have had so many partners and…”

Maedhros dared to put a lock of her silky hair back behind her ears. “ It was a trick, a diversion. If they all think I am a hopeless libertine they won’t suspect that I really love someone for real and that that person is a male like me.” 

She nodded slowly, there was some sort of relief showing in her eyes and it was getting stronger by the minute.” That is smart, they all think you are very fond of the nissi”

He had to smile. “ Yes, that is correct. I have made quite a reputation for myself but it was needed. “

She looked bit less pale. “ But what am I to do then? I…I do not know what you then will want from me?”

He leaned against the pillows, tried to relax. “ I would very much want you to become my friend? We have gotten a really wonderful home from my grand father and it is lovely.”

She looked so relieved she probably could have cried just out of sheer relief. She had to have been absolutely terrified of him. “Tell me more of it, are we going there soon?”

He nodded and pulled the covers aside, slipped inn underneath them next to her. She looked nervous but relaxed again when he didn’t try to get closer to her. “ Tomorrow, or the day after. It is a huge house with a large garden. It has a stable with horses and a library and many rooms.”

Lerina suddenly looked eager. “ A library?”

Maedhros nodded. “ Yes, a library. It is rather nice with copies of the books in my grand father’s grand one. “

Lerina bit her lower lip, her eyes were fixed upon the pattern of the duvet. “ May…may I visit it?”

Maedhros frowned. “ You do not need to ask for permission to use the library? It is yours as much as mine, of course you can visit it. Whenever you want to.”

She held her breath, let go of it with a hiss. “ Is…is that true? My…my parents doesn’t know that I know how to read and write, they think it is unbecoming for a nis.” 

Maedhros tilted his head. “ What?! Eru, what is becoming then?”

Lerina tried to smile. “ To embroider, sing and raise children”

He scoffed. “ Oh to heck with them, believe me, I will let you do whatever you like and spend your time the way you want to. You can use the horses all you will and ride too.”

She blushed. “ I do not know how to ride a horse.”

Maedhros didn’t believe his own ears. “ I beg your pardon?! Really? And why not?”

She stared down again. “ My mother claims that it can make a maiden…be less of a maiden…”

He rolled his eyes in disbelief. “ Your mother beats even the most pious of the vanyar housewives. She sounds like a real …goose!”

Lerina had to giggle, she got a mental image of her mother waddling around like a goose and it was so wonderful to be able to think like that without having to feel guilty afterwards. He touched her hand again. “ I will teach you how to ride, and whatever else you like too. Just promise me that you will let me meet my bondmate whenever I can.”

She nodded, rather vigorously. Things had suddenly started to look good again, maybe this would be a good thing after all. She would be free, and she craved that freedom with an intensity that was almost frightening. “Yes, I will not stand in your way, I will not tell anyone of you, I promise.”

Maedhros sighed with relief. “ Oh Lerina, you do have a warm heart and a gentle soul, bless you little one. But sometimes we will have to pretend as if we are a normal wedded couple doing what wedded people do, is that alright with you? Can you pretend to be in love with me?”

She looked a bit uncertain again. “ I will try, but what exactly do you mean?” 

He smiled and laid down, found a comfortable positon and she followed him, a bit reluctantly. “ I mean that I will have to touch you, perhaps kiss you too. And sometimes we will have to spend the night together and let the servants see us in bed, I may even have to pretend to be making love to you. Can you do that?”

She blushed and covered her face with her hands, then she nodded. “ Oh, I…I will try! Just warn me in advance”

He chuckled. “ You are brave Lerina, do not let them tell you otherwise.”

She was rather sweet when she was blushing and he touched her cheek gently. “ Worry not Lerina, I will be kind to you and protect you, you will be an honored member of my family and nobody will dare to harm you in any way. “

She looked down again. “ Thank you,”

He smiled and blew out the candle on his side of the bed. “ Do not thank me little one, thank the valar that I am capable of understanding what you have been through and that I already have found my one. If you one day meet the one you are meant to be with I am sure we can find some arrangement so that you can be with him or her.”

Lerina blushed again, feeling very weird. What should have been a terrible night turned out to be a chance to really live. It was wonderful. She felt so grateful and she was so relieved she wanted to weep again. Maedhros gave her a swift peck on her cheek. “ Now I think it is time for some sleep, it has been a long day now hasn’t it?”

She nodded, she was so tired but she feared that she wouldn’t be able to sleep. The bed was wide but she had never slept with anyone else in the bed with her and she felt the warmth from him and his masculine scent and it was all so very alien. “ It has, thank you. I was so afraid and now I have hope again”

He just smiled and pulled the covers up. “ I know, so do I. I was afraid of losing him but with your acceptance we can meet in safety. “

Lerina felt a strange feeling in her heart. It was actually very romantic and she felt good knowing she was helping him. “ Yes, I think it is tragic that you have to hide your feelings but your father was actually smart who arranged for us to be married. You can keep meeting your mate and I can get away from my parents.”

He laughed and yawned. “ Yes, maybe it was a blessing in disguise after all. Sleep well little one.” 

She felt strangely comforted by his soft dark voice and suddenly she felt tired, very tired indeed. “Sleep well too, Nelyo” 

She put her head down onto the pillow and suddenly she was fast asleep, and she didn’t even dream anything. Her emotional stress had taken its toll of her and she was more tired than she had been aware of , she had made it through the day on sheer adrenaline and now that she relaxed it disappeared and she had nothing left. She slept like a log in spite of not being alone and Maedhros slept too, in the knowledge that things would be alright from now on. 

 

The next morning they were awakened by some maids who came to help the new wife getting dressed and they were chatting away like a flock of hens until Maedhros shooed most of them out. Lerina felt better, much better. She felt safe and protected and she knew that her life would change to the better from now on. She and Maedhros went to have breakfast while the maids packed everything they had gotten and prepared for the journey to the new house and Lerina was looking forward to seeing it. She was sure she would love it and he would allow her to read and ride and everything else she had longed to do. It was wonderful. There were many elves gathered in the hall to eat and many saw the sparkle in her eyes and the color in her cheeks and made their own conclusions. Some smiled and others made some jokes but nobody disturbed them and they were left to eat alone. Maedhros would often touch her hand but it didn’t disturb her , she now knew that it was all a show, that he didn’t mean anything by it and that he didn’t feel anything for her except hopefully friendship.

That he didn’t want to sleep with her had been a shock but one which was positive and she knew that she now was seen as his wife and she was safe. It was an insane thought but it was true. Nobody would ever bother her again, and her parents would no longer have any power over her. It made her heart swell with joy and it made her eyes shine. Maedhros had to go to talk to his father about their departure for their new home so she went back to their chamber on her own. On the way back she stopped by one of the many small gardens to admire some very beautiful lilies and she didn’t hear that someone approached her before a hand grasped her upper arm rather brutally and swung her around with such force she lost her balance and would have fallen if that person hadn’t held her up.   
It was her parents and they had never looked that angry before. Her mother was pale and her lips thin and white and her father’s eyes were dark and his expression one of rage. Her mother lifted her other hand and slapped Lerina across her face, hard, and the force of it made Lerina’s head hit the wall beside her with a thud.

She was confused, what was this? Why were they so angry? Her mother tried to claw at her but Lerina managed to get a hand up as protection. “ You whore, do you know what you have done? You have ruined our reputation, they will be laughing behind our backs!”

Her mother slapped her again and Lerina felt more terrified than ever before, she didn’t understand., what had she done? Her father grasped her by the shoulders and his strong fingers dug into her flesh and had to leave bruises, it felt as if he was about to snap the very bones themselves and she let out a gasp of pain but didn’t scream. Somehow she couldn’t scream. “ Oh be sure I will find out who you have been with, I will find him and have his hide!!”

Lerina felt nauseous, her head hurt and he almost growled and slammed her head against the wall, grasped her throat so hard she couldn’t breathe and saw stars and dots. Her mother screeched. “ They will all know it, that I have raised a slut! Oh Eru, I wish you were dead!”

She clawed at Lerina again and her fingernails tore into the delicate skin of her face, blood started running and Lerina gasped for air, her father hit her in the face and she felt bone break. “ You are no longer of our blood, of our family. I will forbid everybody to ever speak to you again, to us you are dead! Dead! I will never see you again you cursed thing!”

He just dropped her and she fell down, like she was boneless. Her mother spat at her and walked away, Lerina’s father right behind her and Lerina felt her consciousness slipping away. She felt tears starting to form in her eyes but they were swelling shut and she felt like retching. What had she done? Why did they call her such terrible things? They weren’t even true! She was as pure as the day she was born? What was this? She just let go and allowed the darkness to take her and the last thing she heard was a startled voice who called out and then other voices shouting something about a healer and help. Then it was all black.


	3. Beind the facade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maedhros Discovers what Lerina's parents have done, and there will be hell to pay.

Chapter three: Behind the facade

Maedhros had just finished discussing their departure when he heard some commotion coming from the near by garden. He felt a sudden rush of worry, the voices sounded so upset and he feared that something was wrong. He excused himself and walked towards the source of the noise, rather fast. When he reached the garden he stopped dead in his tracks, a gasp escaped him before he ran forth, kneeling by Lerina’s side. She was unconscious and bloody and it was rather apparent that something rather brutal had happened for her eyes were bruised and she appeared to have fractured her cheekbone. 

Two healers had arrived just before him and they were in obvious shock, violence was almost unheard of among the elves and this spoke of unleashed rage. “What happened?!”

He heard the tremble in his own voice, grasped her hand to comfort her but also to let the others see what they were expecting to see, the affection of a newly wedded husband. The healers were trying to stop the bleeding and she had a nasty bruise around her neck and there was blood in her long silvery hair. “ A servant found her, on the ground. Just minutes ago!”

Maedhros almost growled, she had an expression of confused pain on her face and he didn’t understand this at all. Why would anyone attack her? Oh there were plenty of jealous nissi around but the bruises on her neck came from a hand, much larger than that of any female. He stared at the healers, pleadingly. “ Is she okay?”

The most experienced of the healers looked as if she didn’t really want to answer. “ Ah, my lord, it is too early to say that yet. She has a huge bump on her head and I fear a concussion. And there are fractures my lord, nasty ones”

He swallowed hard. “Who did this to her?”

The others assembled just shrugged and looked down and he got back up, with his height he towered above all others there and he felt a surge of rage rushing through his body. “ Well, let it be known that the one guilty of this will be found and punished”

The healers lifted Lerina onto a stretcher and she was carried off to a room that lay in a separate part of the palace. Elves do not get sick but injuries did happen from time to time, in special during training or sports and the healers were skilled and they had lots of experience with such things. But this was new to them, to willfully hurt someone was a thing they had never encountered. Maedhros felt sick, he shouldn’t have left her! She was so small and fragile and he knew that his family was a target for much rage. Not everybody approved of the fact that Fëanor was Finwë’s favorite son and heir to the throne, they believed that Fingolfin was better suited. And then they had those with the directly opposite idea too. The political life of Tirion could sometimes be compared with a maze! If you didn’t know what you were doing you would get lost pretty fast. 

Lerina was washed and they rubbed some ointments onto her head wound and her eye and her bruises. The healer guaranteed that she wouldn’t have any scars but he felt furious still. Why? Why had this peaceful and gentle being been attacked thus? It had happened fast, and with some force too. She hadn’t tried to defend herself but there were deep scratches on her cheeks that indicated that the culprits they were seeking were both a female and a male too.   
Lerina groaned and her head moved and he was there in a flash, grasping her hand. She didn’t open her eyes and she appeared to be terribly dizzy and in pain. The healer was there that very instant with a cup. “ My lady, drink this, it will ease the pain and help you sleep. It is for the better.”

She just gasped and he felt desperate, squeezed her hand. “ Who did this to you little one? Tell me!”

She whimpered, her voice barely audible. “They…they called me…a whore…a slut…disowned me…” 

Maedhros tilted his head, what? Why in heavens name would anyone… He got it, her parents, who else could disown her? The healer made her drink and she sobbed and fell back into his arms. He stared at the nis who removed the cup and looked angry. “ Did you understand this?”

The nis nodded. “ Her mother is living the life of the self righteous isn’t she? Oh I have heard rumors of her piety and haughty ways, beats the queen that one. I bet they ordered the sheets to be hung out on display” 

Maedhros felt the need to do a face palm. Of course, that idiotic old vanyarin custom of displaying the sheets after the wedding night so that everybody could see that the bride had been a virgin. And there had naturally been no blood on their sheets. Nobody did that anymore but her mother apparently wanted it done and the servants hadn’t been thinking and had followed her orders. It wasn’t their fault, so he couldn’t blame them but the damage was done. His reputation came back to haunt them now, nobody would believe that he hadn’t touched her, they would believe that Lerina had been with someone else before she got wedded, that she hadn’t been a pure maiden. Of course her parents had lost it, but that didn’t justify harming the poor girl.

He felt himself shiver and he hid his face within his hands, what now? Rumors would spread and even if he made a statement and told everybody that he didn’t sleep with her nobody would believe him. They would think that he said this only to protect her. Oh Eru what a mess! The vanyar would be worst, they would snigger and gloat and she would be seen as a whore, as a nis unworthy of him. He stared at the healer. “ Bring her to our chamber as soon as possible, we have to leave tomorrow.” 

The two nissi bowed and the oldest one cocked her head. “She cannot ride then my lord, she will need a carriage.” 

Maedhros sighed and felt the need to throw something at the wall, why did everything seemingly go to hell right now? “That will be arranged.”

He couldn’t bare to look at her pale face and left, walked towards their chambers with swift steps, he was stopped by Maglor and Celegorm. Both looked confused. “ Nelyo? Is it true that someone has attacked Lerina?” 

The disbelief in his brother’s voice was great and he sighed and tried to calm himself, stared at Celegorm’s wide eyes. “ Yes, she was attacked, by her own parents!”

Maglor gasped and went pale. “What?! Eru! Why?”

Maedhros had problems swallowing. “Her mother demanded the sheets hung out on display, for everyone to see. And since I’m not some sick pervert who loves to force myself onto others the sheets were without blood. Apparently they both are convinced that she has fooled them and slept with someone before we got wedded.”

Celegorm made a scoffing noise. “ Are you serious? Who the hell would have gotten close to her? Her mother has been watching her every move her entire life!”

Maedhros groaned. “ I know, she hasn’t lived brothers, just existed. I do pity her poor soul, and now it will only get worse.”

Maglor bit his teeth together. “ Alright, time to do some damage control, I know just the right people to talk to.” 

Celegorm looked angry. “ So do I, but what will you do now Nelyo?”

Maedhros took a deep breath. “ I will talk to atar, and make sure that they are punished for this. I will demand that they are hit where it hurts the most, in their ambitions. They can forget about being part of the court”

Maglor petted his shoulder. “ Way to go, we will make sure that the noldor at least knows that you are a honorable ner who wanted to wait until she has gotten used to you.”

Celegorm nodded. “ Aye, and that her mother is a calculating bitch never to be trusted.”

He had to grin. “ Thank you brother’s, drag their reputation into the mud please”

Both grinned and started walking with haste. “ You bet!”

Maedhros brazed himself, then he turned around and walked back to his father’s office. Fëanor hadn’t hear the news yet, he didn’t allow any others than his family to disturb him while he was working and he looked up and frowned, a bit confused as to why his son returned so fast. “ Yes Nelyo? What is it?”

Maedhros sat down, his eyes were dark with rage and Fëanor realized that something had happened, something bad. “ Atar, Lerina’s parents attacked her while I was here, talking to you. Apparently they accused her of having slept with someone before her wedding since there was no blood on the sheets that cow of a mother demanded that everybody was to see!”

Fêanor gasped and blinked, his face a bit pale. “ What? Is she hurt?”

Maedhros growled. “ They hit her atar, and her mother must have clawed at her face for she had huge sores, and a nasty bump in her head and bruises and a broken cheekbone. She is a mess!”

Fêanor sat down, he had never looked that shocked before. He would never do anything like that to his son’s. Ever! Yes, sometimes they did disappoint him but using violence? He would rather die. “Will she be okay?”

Maedhros nodded. “ Eventually yes, but she has probably gotten the shock of a lifetime and her reputation will be completely ruined now!” 

Fëanor sighed. “ Nelyo, you should have…” 

Maedhros interrupted him. “What? Fucked her? Have you even taken a look at the nis you forced me to wed? She is a child Ata, a child! If I was to touch her I would harm her, she isn’t capable of laying with anyone yet, let alone someone…someone like me!”

Fêanor leaned against his desk, a bit shocked. “ Eru, I know, I know. You are not exactly…small! So what now?” 

Maedhros ran a hand through his thick red hair. “ If she wakes up we leave tomorrow, as planned. I want to get her out of here, away from the rumors.” 

Fëanor nodded slowly. “ A wise decision son, do spend your time with her, get to know her.”

Maedhros sighed. “ Ata, we are only married on paper, and there will never be anything more than that. You know this”

Fëanor sighed and stared at the papers in front of him. “ Nelyo, I am truly sorry, but I still believe that what I did is for the best. “ 

Maedhros just made a vague gesture. “ I know, I have to get back in case she wakes up, tell the others will you?”

His father nodded and grasped a jug of wine. “ I will son.” 

Maedhros turned in the door. “ And ata? Make them pay!”

Fêanor grinned, a rather vicious grin. “ I will, they can forget about coming to court after this.” 

 

Maedhros ran back to his rooms and he was intercepted by Fingon who looked rather shocked and in disbelief. “Is it true?” 

He could only nod. “Yes, it is true, all of it”

Fingon gasped and his gaze flickered, he looked as if he wanted to embrace his lover but he didn’t dare to, there were too many people in the palace who would see them. “ Melkor’s nuts!! That is insane, are they mad?”

Maedhros nodded. “ Apparently yes, very much so I would say. Their reputation is more important than their child.”

Fingon hissed. “ Oh I wish I could…nevermind. Such awful people should never be allowed into the palace again. Who does something like that to their own child?”

There was something almost pleading in Fingon’s melodic voice and Maedhros just sent him a sad smile. “ Someone consumed by their own greed and hunger for power.”

Fingon bit his lower lip. “ If I ever was to have any offspring I would never treat them thus, ever!”

Maedhros smiled, a bittersweet smile. “ I know, you would make a terrific father.”

They both knew that never would happen, they had bound themselves to each other and since both were ner there would be no heirs to any of them.   
Maedhros petted Fingon’s shoulder, a friendly and innocent gesture if someone was to see them. “ I have to go now, I have to see how she is doing.” 

Fingon smiled, a pale smile. “ Of course, I will see you later, and…and I am sorry for this, I truly am. I will pray for her recovery.” 

Maedhros felt strangely moved by those words, why he didn’t really know but Fingon had a huge heart and maybe this meant that the relationship between his wife and his lover didn’t need to be a strained one after all. “ Thank you!”

He just nodded again and walked, before he did something stupid. He wanted to hug Fingon and seek comfort in his embrace but he couldn’t do it, not here and now. The rooms were silent when he entered, one of the healers was present still and sat by the bed onto which Lerina had been placed. They had put a thick and warm nightgown onto her and the blood was gone but her bruises were still there. He felt his heart ache from the sight, she was so tiny, so innocent in all this and they had caused her pain and probably a great deal of fear as well. The healer got onto her feet and bowed. “ My lord, she is asleep, and she is healing well. There is no danger now, but she will be sore and have a headache and I sense that her fëa is very distraught.” 

Maedhros sighed and grasped a chair and a blanket, sat down next to the bed. “ Go fetch me some food and wine, I will sit by her side until she is alright again.”

The nis smiled, a very knowing smile, she probably believed that this was a real marriage, based upon mutual love and understanding. “ Of course my lord, if there is any change then do send for us, do not hesitate”

He smiled at the nis and sat down. “ I won’t, believe me”

He knew that the medicine they had given Lerina was strong, she would sleep for a long while and he needed to calm down and think things through rationally. He was just so enraged on her behalf, and he felt such pity. To have your own family turn on you like a pack of rabid dogs, it was a nightmare. And he also felt a sort of possessiveness. He didn’t want her, but now that he had to accept her as a part of his life he didn’t want to see her hurt. No, he didn’t own her in any way but he regarded her as family, as a friend, and her trust had moved him greatly. He owed her safety and protection, a better life. And he would give her that, no matter what. 

Lerina woke up very slowly, and she felt utterly confused at first for she couldn’t remember having gone to bed. Then she remembered and gasped, feeling how a terrible sensation of grief and dread ascended upon her. They had called her such terrible names, and why? Immediately there was a hand there, big and warm and it held hers so gently. “ Sshhh, easy, I am here. You are safe”

Lerina recognized his scent and his voice, her right eye was swollen shut and the left one almost as bad. She couldn’t see at all and her face hurt so bad. She whimpered. “I…I am so sorry” 

Maedhros caressed the small hand gently, oh by the valar, she did look terrible. “ Sorry for what? Lerina little one, this wasn’t your fault, you have done nothing wrong.”

She sobbed. “ But…they said I was…a whore, and …I had ruined their honor and…” 

Maedhros almost growled in real rage but restrained himself, he could not show her his anger for she would believe that it was aimed at her. “ No, absolutely not Lerina, listen to me. It was they who were wrong, who hurt you. “ 

She whimpered again, the slender body was trembling and he gently sat down next to her, pulled her into his arms. She let him do it, somehow she trusted him enough to allow him to touch her and he rocked her gently in his arms. “But…why…why did they say…”

Maedhros sighed. “ Your mother asked for the sheets from our bed to be hung out, it is a very old Vanyarin tradition and one few if any follow these days.”

She looked confused. “ And?”

He cringed, oh Eru, she was so innocent. “ Lerina, uh, when a nis…when a nis makes love the first time there is usually some blood, and since there was no blood on the sheets your mother believed that…that you no longer were pure when I took you to bed” 

Lerina swallowed. “ Oh, I…I didn’t think of that” 

Maedhros sighed and held her hand. “ I was a fool little one, I should have guesses that your mother would do that, I should have cut a finger or something and made it look as if I did deflower you. Then everything would have been fine, but I didn’t know she would follow such a forgotten practice.” 

Lerina blushed in spite of her bruised face. “ It is…okay. Just…don’t let them hurt me again” 

He almost whimpered, it broke his heart to hear that fear in her voice. “ Oh little one, I will keep you safe, worry not. They will never be allowed to go near you again.”

She relaxed against him. “ We will leave yes?”

He nodded. “ Tomorrow morning. You have to recover first.” 

She sighed, trembled ever so slightly against him. “ I…I was so afraid, I thought atar would kill me. He was so angry!”

Maedhros nodded. “ I understand, but worry not. They have been banned from court as we speak, my father has given the order.”

She made a weird sound. “ Oh, that will make them angry”

Maedhros grinned. “ I do most certainly hope so!” 

He let his fingers glide through her silvery hair, marveling at the amazing color. He had never seen anyone with that shade of silver before, dark, like polished steel. “ Rest now little one, tomorrow we will go home, and this will be but a memory.”

She smiled, a rather tired and swift smile and her body seemed to relax even more, her head was tilted towards his chest and he realized that she had fallen asleep. It made his heart swell to know that she already trusted him thus but it also made him feel a bit guilty. Whatever her feelings were, she would never own his love, just some faint affection and it wasn’t fair. But if she one day did meet the one who would complete her soul he wouldn’t stand in her way. He would let her love freely and to hell with what everyone else said about it.

It was uncomfortable sitting there like that but he endured, he just had to. It was all a part of the game he now was playing. After a while he too dozed off and they didn’t awake until the bell that signaled dinner was chiming. Maedhros was hungry and he gently shook her awake, kissed her brow like he would his brothers. “ Are you hungry little one?”

She yawned and cringed in pain. “ Ow, oh, I…I am not sure. What…what sort of food can I have?” 

He got up, his ass had fallen asleep and was numb and his legs felt alien to him. He grimaced and tried to shake himself awake again. “ Whatever you like Lerina, what is your favorite food?” 

She tried to open her eyes but couldn’t yet. “ Honey cakes, and those small cookies with nuts in them, oh, and those sweet grapes that grows to the south, But mother won’t let me have such food, she thinks it will make me fat” 

He sighed, a deep sigh. “ Lerina, forget about her alright? She isn’t here, if you want honey cakes then honey cakes you will have”

He petted her shoulder. “ You are way too thin already, you can eat as much as you like” 

She held her breath. “ Really? Is that true?”

He squeezed her hand. “ Yes, have you ever had the stew my grand father’s chef makes?”

She shook her head. “ No, never!”

He smiled widely. “ I will go and get us some food, stew, cakes and fruit too. We can have a small feast here on our own.” 

She appeared to like the idea, nodded eagerly. “ Yes, oh yes.” 

Then her face changed, she touched the bandages with shaking hands. “ N…Nelyo? Do…do I look…repulsive?” 

Her voice small and thin and he held her hand again. “ No Lerina, you are hurt and swollen yes, but you will be okay in a few days, trust me. You will be as lovely as ever.”

She relaxed, tried to smile. Now he was her safe harbor, the one she trusted. It was such a responsibility and he knew that she had to be the most vulnerable nis he had ever met. He hurried to the kitchen and returned a short time after with a tray filled with all sorts of treats and two bowls of stew. Her nose shivered and she licked her lips. “ That…that smells delicious”

He chuckled. “ It does, and now, let me feed you.” 

She scoffed. “ I can use a spoon you know!”

He petted her cheek. “Yes, but you cannot see much yet now can you? Let me spoil you a little, you deserve it.” 

She bit her lower lip. “ Oh…okay then.” 

He placed the tray in front of them and started feeding her small portions of stew and she ate eagerly. The wine he had brought wasn’t strong so they could drink quite a lot of it and it was sweet and fruity and she liked it a lot. He encouraged her to tell him more of herself and he was shocked by how little she really had to tell, or rather, how small normally indifferent situations to her had become grand events. He had never believed that eldar could treat their own in such a way? And why? To please the valar? Oh for Eru’s sake, they didn’t care! All they cared about was the great song, and to keep the elves safe in Aman. Fëanor sometimes grunted something about the valar manipulating and using them and Maedhros was willing to agree with his sire. 

But Lerina was a firm believer or at least she pretended to be, he sensed doubt in her, great doubt too but she didn’t dare to do anything about it. Her mother had choked her, quite literally. Lerina had never been allowed to grow up and mature and he feared that she soon would have to face a reality that was way harsher and harder than the one she was used to. She was like a lamb in a pack of wolves and he didn’t know if he would be able to protect her. She would have to toughen up quite a lot or she would be treated like crap. 

But for now things were acceptable, she was eating and he fed her some cakes and she giggled and ate from his hand and he felt a strange sort of affection. It wasn’t anything carnal, he didn’t desire her, but he felt how his fea was greatly affected by her helplessness. To him she was a child and he had always been protective of the young ones, no wonder really with six younger brothers. Then she burped and giggled and had to lay back, completely stuffed. She did hiccup and laugh. “ Mother never let me eat until I was really full, she said it wasn’t becoming.” 

Maedhros sighed. “ Like I have said before, forget about her. You’ve earned it dear.” 

She took a sip of wine and sighed. “ I wish we could leave now, I do not want to linger here.” 

He grasped her hand. “ I know, neither do I but worry not, before long we will be on our way” 

She smiled and pulled the blankets closer, grasped an apple and started nibbling at it, just to savor the sweet taste. “ I want to put it all behind me Nelyo, like a deer fleeing from the hunters. I want to wake up somewhere else and see that it is all a new world, that everything has changed.” 

Maedhros squeezed her hand gently. “ I understand, believe me, nobody will harm you again.”

She just smiled and he got up and removed the tray. He could see that she was sleepy again and it was good. Sleeping would help her heal. Before long her breath became slow and deep and he stretched and left the room, ventured out into the garden and watched the light from the trees starting to mingle. He stood there when his mother suddenly appeared in the doorway, she looked worried. “ How is she?”

Nerdanel’s voice was concerned and he turned around and let her embrace him. She only reached his chest and he could sense that she was very upset. Nerdanel was good at hiding her feelings, unless she was arguing with her husband. Lately they had done that a lot and it had left a feeling of unease within them all. “Sleeping, she ate a lot and then she got tired again. Ammë, her own mother had been starving her!”

Nerdanel scoffed, she looked angry. “Oh yes, I did see that, poor thing. Those vanyar obviously believe that you have to deny yourself every possible joy in order to please the valar, food included.”

Maedhros sighed. “ She looks like a child, I couldn’t touch her even if I wanted to. It would have been wrong”

Nerdanel caressed her son’s cheek. “ Do not blame yourself Nelyo, you did nothing wrong. Blame her sough of a mother. By the way, both have been removed from the palace, by Finwë’s guards. Your grandfather was fuming when he heard of this.” 

Maedhros giggled when he heard his mother’s words. “ Oh I bet he was, and …she?” 

Nerdanel sighed. “The queen was no less appalled, I think she detests those idiotic rules just as much as we do, but she cannot openly break them.” 

Maedhros leaned against a pedestal with a statue on it, it was supposed to look like the lady Vaire but the sculptor wasn’t very good or he had had a very bad day when he made it for it made the vala look like some strange twisted creature. “I try to accept the way those vanyar live but it is hard, so very hard. I cannot say I understand them at all.”

Nerdanel took a deep breath. “ Neither do I, but I think they are afraid in some ways, and then they try to appease that which they fear by pretending as though they can influence it.”

He snorted. “ As if they really do care?” 

Nerdanel shrugged. “ Let us not discuss that now, you leave tomorrow?” 

He nodded and felt like fidgeting with his sleeves. “ Yes, as early as possible.”

Nerdanel leaned against her son, took a deep breath. “ Good, very good. “ 

He tilted his head. “ Why are you saying this?” 

She lifted her face towards him.” Because she shouldn’t stay here even a minute longer than needed, the rumors are already flying son” 

Maedhros groaned and felt like throwing that stupid statue into the fountain or something, just to vent his feelings.” Oh damnation, what are they saying?”

Nerdanel sat down on a bench and he followed her, hesitantly. He didn’t really want to know but he had to be prepared so that he could protect Lerina. “Well, your brothers are eagerly trying to counteract the worst by spreading rumors of their own but I am afraid it is a lost cause.”

He hid his face in his hands. “ Right, spit it out, how bad is it?”

Nerdanel grasped his hand. “ Nasty, ridiculous and utterly repulsive, all at once. “ 

He sighed. “ That bad?” 

She nodded. “ Oh yes, some claim that they have seen her on the streets working as a whore, some even claim that she has slept with her own brother, others that she has been in bed with all of the servants of her parent’s home.” 

She bit her lower lip. “ It all boils down to this Nelyo, since you are known to be a very vigorous lover they all think she must have….had quite a few lovers, since she didn’t bleed.”

He groaned and hit the bench, hard. It hurt his hand but the pain sort of calmed him down, helped him focus. “ She’s the one to blame ha? Nobody questions me!”

She shook her head. “ You are a heir to the throne, many believe that your grandfather will let the title of high king go to you instead of your father, just to calm everybody down.”

He snorted and made a nasty grimace. “ Well, I will never be king, that is for darn certain, oh poor Lerina, it will break her if she hears this.”

Nerdanel nodded. “ Absolutely, so stay in these chambers until it is time to leave and don’t let her speak with anyone. Nelyo, both of you will be expected to attend to feasts and gatherings here, to be active and visible. She needs to learn how to ignore all the bullshit they will toss at her.”

Maedhros closed his eyes. “ I know, I will see if I can help her.”

Nerdanel got to her feet, touched his hair lovingly. “ That is great Nelyo. I wish things were different.” 

He smiled, a bitter smile. “ So do I, but…uh…you and atar, are you two…alright?” 

She looked away, took a deep breath. “ No son, we are not alright. Have a good night”

Maedhros felt his heart drop, he knew that his parents were having problems but he hadn’t really believed that they were serious. After all, his parents were bonded, they ought to live in harmony didn’t they? He got back up and returned to the chamber where Lerina slept. She was still asleep so he found some servants and gave the last orders regarding the next morning. He ate his own stew which was cold by now and took a long bath. It helped him relax but he still couldn’t chase away the feeling of something bothering him, right on the edge of his mind, slipping away like an eel every time he tried to grasp onto it. 

He went to bed and Lerina was sleeping like a log, a deep healing sleep. Her bruises were already fading and he hoped that the swelling would be gone too by the morning. She reminded him of a wounded animal and he felt how rage once more filled him. How did those two even dare to call themselves parents? He swore that if he was to meet them again he would tell them exactly what he felt about them and to hell with the consequences. When he finally fell asleep he was restless and his sleep was constantly disturbed. 

The golden light that streamed through the curtains was soft and warm but he blinked and wished that it could be gone. He had a headache and he felt tired, as if he had done hard work. He missed Fingon, missed his scent and his warm embrace but knew that he would have to wait before he could meet his lover again. Lerina was waking up and she did look better but the bruises and sores were still visible. He saw that she could open her eyes now and she tried to smile. He got up and reached out to help her get out of the bed. “ Come now, you need to bathe and get ready. It is quite a long journey and we have to leave soon.” 

She obediently got up and yawned, the bath was adjacent to the sleeping chambers and there was a pool with hot water in it and lots of soaps and perfumes. “ Do you think you can manage on your own or do you think I should call for some maids to help you?” 

She shook her head. “ I can manage, please.” 

He nodded “ Very well then, bathe while I order breakfast” 

She held her breath for a moment. “Do…do you think I could…ah…get more of those cookies?”

Her voice revealed that she was afraid she was crossing some invisible line by asking the question and he wanted to embrace her and tell her that it was alright. “Of course you can, I will ask them to add many cookies to our tray.”

She smiled, a genuine smile of joy and he felt how the compassion made his heart swell within his chest. To her a few cookies was enough to cause great joy, how poor her life had been until now.

Some servants brought several trays of food and Maedhros bathed as soon as she was done. She put on a dress in deep green velvet and it made her look very immature but it was lovely. He helped her braid her hair and she giggled and braided him in return. When they both had eaten and were dressed he didn’t see any reason to linger and told the servants to bring forth the carriage. It was still early and very few elves up and about so there was little chance of her meeting anyone. They walked down the halls towards the entrance, their luggage had already been sent ahead of them and the carriage was a light one, made to transport a few people, not heavy cargo. Two lovely dapple gray horses was hitched up to it and they were chewing their bits, eager to go. Lerina stood there waiting to enter the carriage when two maids passed by, they didn’t even look at her but one of them hissed at her as they walked by with their heads held high. “Harlot”

Lerina jerked and stared at them but they just continued walking, as if she wasn’t even there. She felt a strange pain in her chest, wanted to sob. If this was what she had to face whenever she visited the palace then she would never leave her new home again. Maedhros finished giving the driver the last instructions and helped her into the carriage She didn’t want to tell him of the two maids, she didn’t want to upset him and soon they would be gone from this terrible place. The driver was turning the carriage around when a rider entered the courtyard, he wore a messenger uniform and was one of the elves who made a living from being a sort of postal service, delivering letters or small packages. He rode over to the carriage and the driver had to stop his horses. Maedhros stared at the ner with narrow eyes. “Yes?”

The ner bowed his head and looked a bit shell shocked, he probably hadn’t expected coming face to face with one of the royal family. “ My lord, I have a letter for Lady Lerina?” 

Lerina frowned. “For me? From who?”

The ner pulled a letter out of his bag. “ I do not know.” 

Maedhros sent her a warning glance but she ignored it, it was just a letter. She opened it and let out a sigh of relief, she recognized the handwriting of her sister’s oldest daughter, a nis almost her own age. Saeriel was well known for having the handwriting of a drunk and she was very outspoken and she went her own ways. Lerina’s mother refused to acknowledge the nis at all.

Maedhros looked curious and Lerina hurried to read the few words written across the piece of parchment. “Lerina, dear aunt. The family is in an uproar, you mother hysterical and your father refuses to speak to anyone. Your name must never be mentioned again but I don’t give a fuck. You are still a maiden aren’t you? I bet your husband is caring and compassionate and that he wouldn’t want to consummate the wedding so soon. But your mother is an idiot, yes, I am not ashamed to say that. Your father has interrogated every male servant they have and even some of the females and everybody is scared of him. I wish you all the best aunt, but do never return home. I have no idea of what they will do to you if you do. Your niece Saeriel.”

Maedhros told the driver to continue and the horses started trotting again. “ So at least you have one family member who isn’t a jerk?”

Lerina giggled. “ Oh Saeriel is wonderful, she gives a damn about the rules, and she is too strong to be subdued.” 

Maedhros petted her hair. “ I bet you can be just as strong, just you wait and see. Tonight we will arrive at your new home and everything will change, everything will be fine.”

She grinned, nodded with joy sparkling in her eyes. “ Yes, everything will be fine!”


	4. Thy home, thy castle, thy prison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lerina is slowly coming out of her Shell and is Meeting Fingon, there will be a party soon, and she has some weird dreams.

Chapter four: Thy home, thy castle, thy prison

The journey wasn’t all that long, but it was still the longest she had ever endured. Her mind blurred by the memories of the past two days and racing away, never allowing her to rest or to truly enjoy the landscape. As they left Tirion they entered an area with huge villas and farms and the carriage made good speed for there were few using the road this early in the day. Lerina felt fatigued, drained somehow. She could see that Maitimo was worried so she tried to smile and act as if everything was alright but he could see through her façade. 

The area spoke of wealth and class and the gardens and parks were carefully groomed, it was beautiful but she somehow found it a bit unnatural. He didn’t speak at all during the journey, kept staring out at the landscape and she knew that he too was caught within his own thoughts and dreams. As they got closer to their destination she somehow managed to let her shoulders drop a bit, she felt safe again. They were so far away from the city she no longer feared her parents and she got curious about their destination once more. 

The house they had been given was grand, more of mansion than a villa and it had a stable and a smaller building for the servants. It had a smithy and several other small buildings too and everything was built in a very nice light rock that made everything seem very clean and new. Lerina fell in love with the place immediately and as the carriage came to a halt in front of the main entrance she already knew that this would be her safe haven. Maitimo helped her out of the carriage and she stared at the lovely park surrounding it with wide eyes. The servants had gathered waiting for them and Lerina was pleased to see that there weren’t that many of them. All were elves who had lived for quite a while and they seemed to be both experienced and kind. Some stared at her but she didn’t mind, she had gotten used to it.

Their baggage had arrived that night and everything had been put into place already, she knew that they had gotten a lot of gifts and they were already there. She could hardly believe that this wonderful house was to be her home, and that she was allowed to do whatever she liked. The light of Laurelin was still strong and she and her husband were ushered into the dining hall where a meal awaited them. Lerina could just gape, there was so much food! And the smell was wonderful, it made her mouth water and she could barely contain herself. She remembered what her mother had taught her about good manners and tried to act according to those rules but it was hard. 

He petted her shoulder gently. “ You do not need to behave like a lady here unless we have guests.”

She giggled and grasped onto a chicken leg with her bare hand, it had been fried and rolled in spices and the scent was wonderful. Before long she was eating like a starved one and he grinned and shared her appetite. She felt silly afterwards, her chin covered with grease and her fingers covered with chicken fat and skin. Her mother would have warmed her butt had she seen this but now, now that didn’t matter anymore and she let out a small shriek of sheer relief. “You have deserved it little one, have something to drink”

He reached forth and poured some wine into her goblet. It was a rich red wine which smelled of blackberries and cherries and it tasted so good she almost drank the whole goblet dry in one go. He snickered and shook his head. “ It is alright Lerina, but do not drink like that when there are others present. They will think my wife is a drunkard!” 

She rolled her eyes. “ Oh no, imagine the scandal!”

He had to grin, she had a strange sense of humor but he liked it. She was probably a very lively and outgoing person deep within but it had been smothered by her past. “Yes, it would be terrible”

His wide grin made him look very boyish and she found that charming. He finished his food and tilted his head. “ My brothers will probably visit us rather soon, but worry not, they are alright. The servants here have served my family for centuries and are absolutely loyal but they do not know of…our little arrangement. “

She nodded. “ I see.”

He reached forth, grasped her hand. “ As long as I get to stay with you and pretend to be a loving husband everything will be alright Lerina.”

She looked down at the exquisite table cloth. “ I know, and yet I fear the times we have to appear at court.” 

He sighed. “ Yes, I know. But it will be weeks before we both have to be there, and by then I hope things will have cooled down.” 

She sighed. “ It is some sort of celebration isn’t it? “ 

He nodded. “ The queens begetting day, everybody is expected to show up, even the ones who cannot stand her.” 

Lerina remembered the beautiful but somewhat stiff vanyarin nis and also the short but sympathetic glance she had received from the queen. Somehow she felt that Indis would understand her situation. “Are there many, who cannot stand her I mean?”

He leaned forth, bit his lower lip. “ Oh, plenty. And the problem is that most of them are of her own people, the vanyar.”

Lerina wiped off her face with a napkin, it was made from the loveliest fabric and very soft. “Really? Why?”

Maedhros met her gaze with soft eyes. “ Because they think the valar made a mistake when they allowed my grandfather to remarry. “

Lerina snorted. “ They think the valar made a mistake?! Eru, how twisted are they?”

Maedhros chuckled and grasped a tray with some pieces of cake upon it, showed one piece down onto her plate. “ Very, they worship the valar and yet to some even the valar aren’t pious enough. “ 

She felt stuffed but the cake looked very tempting, so she grasped a spoon and tasted it carefully, it had a wonderful flavor and she forgot she was full. “I bet they are the ones I will have to watch out for right?” 

Maedhros made a grimace. He didn’t want to discuss these matters with her this fast but when she brought it up of her own free will. “ Yes, and no. Yes because of the rumors that will be spread from now on, no because there are others who probably will be far more of a problem.” 

She frowned, the piece of cake almost gone. “ Who?”

Her voice was a bit thin and he grasped her hand, gave it a light squeeze. “Jealous nissi who think they ought to have become my wife, ner who think you are willing to bed whoever tries to get in underneath your skirts.”

She cringed. “ Eru have mercy, how am I to survive all this?”

Maedhros smiled and kissed her hand gently. “ By staying by my side all the time, smiling and using all your mother taught you. And by dressing the part too, one of the nissi working her used to be a seamstress for my mother, she is extremely good at making just the right dress for the occasion.”

Lerina sighed. “ Wonderful, for I am not.” 

He nodded. “ Be not afraid Lerina, it will be alright, you will get used to it all.” 

One of the servants entered the room and he got up, helped her onto her feet. “ I bet you want a tour of the house?” 

She nodded and smiled, tried to act her part. She had to convince the servants she was a normal newly wedded wife who was head over heels in love with her husband. He held her hand as they walked through the huge building, there was a music room, a room set aside for art and crafts and also a room with equipment for training one’s strength and endurance. She stared at the beautiful and expensive furniture and knew beyond any doubt that this was much nicer than the things back at her parent’s home. It too had been ridiculously expensive but it lacked the style and quality of everything she saw there. She did notice lovely statues Nerdanel undoubtedly had sculpted, some nice metal vases and ornaments that Fëanor probably had made and there were thick pelts and furs Tyelko probably had brought. Maedhros nodded at her, a proud smile on his face. “ They have all contributed, even my uncles.” 

She was eager when they approached the library. It was a huge room and filled with shelves with books and she almost started crying, all this was available for her? It was unbelievable! He saw her expression and sent her a gentle and soft smile. “ Yes, it is real. Read all you like but do not forget to eat and sleep.”

She was shivering all over with excitement. She could not wait, she wanted to sit down and start reading right away and he laughed. “ You are truly starved for knowledge aren’t you? But let us finish the tour before you become entangled within the world of lore and tales of old.”

She reluctantly closed the door and he then showed her the huge bath and the sauna and the kitchens and bakery. Then they visited the buildings behind the main house, there were a huge chicken coop and some pigs, goats and sheep and also some cows and rabbits. The stable was filled with beautiful horses of noble breeding and she stood there in awe of them. Maedhros went over and petted a huge black stallion on its muzzle, the horse obviously knew him and he smiled and waved for Lerina to come closer. “ I have one horse here I think will be perfect for you. Do you see that red mare over there? She is yours.”

Lerina just gasped, the mare was rather small and very beautiful and she couldn’t believe that it was hers. “ What’s her name?”

Maedhros smiled, her enthusiasm was so sweet and childlike. “ That is up to you, give her a name you think fitting.”

Lerina walked closer and let the mare sniff her hands, the animal seemed to be both docile and friendly and Lerina smiled. “ I think I will call her Vania.”

Maedhros cocked his head. “ A good choice, Vania she is then.”

Lerina then got a good tour of the gardens, their gardener was an ellon very well trained in the art of growing herbs and flowers and she found the subject fascinating. Maedhros did see that the gardener found her joy endearing and he knew that she had gained a friend there. When they were done getting familiarized with the whole property it was getting late. The mingling hour almost over and there was yet another meal being prepared for them. Lerina discovered that she was hungry again and she also did discover that she hadn’t been thinking about her injuries nor her parents for many hours. It was a wonderful thing indeed. 

They finished this meal by a hearth in one of the smaller living rooms and then it was time to go to bed. Lerina knew that she didn’t have to fear him and she had started to trust him completely so she had no problems sharing the huge bed with him. It could easily have been shared by at least four elves and the matrass was thick and soft and the covers soft and warm. Maedhros cursed the fact that he still needed to wear a nightshirt, but he guessed that he had to get used to it. Lerina had decided to read a little before she went to sleep and she had brought a book of fairy tales from the library. She sat there leaned up against the pillows with a deep joy in her eyes and he had to admit that she was very sweet like that. 

When they finally blew out the candles and went to sleep the entire house had been quiet for hours already and Lerina fell asleep right away. Maedhros stayed awake for a little bit longer, he was thinking of Fingon and wished that his lover would come visiting soon.  
The next morning they were awakened by one of the maids who cheerfully removed the drapes and let the bright light of Laurelin into the room. Lerina stretched and yawned and felt a deep excitement. This day would be great and she just knew it. No more fear, no more doubt. She got into a rather simple and yet very pretty dress and Maedhros made sure that the maid saw him kissing Lerina, a kiss that looked very passionate but it was just for show. Then they went to breakfast and Lerina ate eggs and bread and had tea and milk and just being able to eat whatever she liked without anyone standing behind her nagging about her getting fat was wonderful.

The cook obviously thought that Lerina was way too thin and placed enormous portions onto her plate and Maedhros soon started to suspect that at least the female servants all had started to look at Lerina as if she was some lost child they had to take extra good care of. It was good, he knew his servants would take good care of her when he was in Tirion. When they were done eating Maedhros insisted upon teaching her the first things she needed to know about riding a horse and she was nervous but also eager. When she could ride a horse a whole new world would open up to her and give her a freedom like never before. 

The stable master had already saddled the huge black stallion and Vania and Maedhros lifted Lerina into the saddle with ease. He was really very strong and she blushed and noticed that the stable master looked very smug. He probably believed that they were wedded for real. Maedhros instructed her as they rode slowly through the park and Lerina soon understood the basic principles behind it. She started to control the horse and Maedhros was praising her a lot. She had talent and even though she felt as if her backside was rather tender it made her beam with pride. She wasn’t used to being praised thus.

Afterwards she sat down in the library with a book and Maedhros went to train a bit and he also wanted to take a look at the financial situation of the household. Then they had dinner and afterwards they sat down to discuss the running of the house. Lerina wanted to start a herbal garden of her own and he saw her zeal and allowed it. As the lady of the house she was supposed to make sure that they had everything they needed of food and drink and she was a bit shocked by this but she wanted to do it. She wanted to impress him and be the perfect housewife and he had to laugh at some of her ideas. 

And thus they fell into a routine, a shared breakfast, then some riding until dinner and afterwards they would do their own things. Lerina was so curious and eager to learn and she soon became the darling of everybody there. Her childlike openness and zeal made everybody melt and even the stern cook started acting like a mother hen when Lerina was present.  
She spent a lot of time reading and she soon became more self-confident, more outgoing and her real personality would start to show. Maedhros made sure that the servants saw them caressing and sometimes he would pretend to be rather passionate with her. She accepted it and sort of liked the little game they played, she had the greatest respect for the others there but she thought it was fun to trick them. Maedhros had to return to Tirion for a few days and while he was away she dared to go for a ride on her own and was shaking all over when she returned, she had managed this all on her own! So soon she went for a ride every day and she galloped and jumped and became utterly fearless.

Maedhros allowed his brothers to visit them, but never more than two at a time and she soon started to win them over as well. Maglor held a small concert in their music room and she managed to make Celegorm blush and stutter when she praised the wonderful pelts he had given them. She praised Carantirs needlework and Curufin’s lovely hand forged fire pokers and since she showed such interest in their crafts they soon thought of her as a sort of adopted little sister. The twins were closer to her own age and they were charmed too, when she allowed them to use the huge bath for a whole evening which resulted in the entire room having to be scrubbed thoroughly since they had tried to make their hair darker by using beet juice and it left terrible stains everywhere. 

Nerdanel visited too and when Lerina stopped being afraid that her mother in law would find her lacking she soon warmed up to also her. The two became rather good friends and could talk about everything and Lerina knew that Nerdanel knew the truth of the marriage. Fëanor visited too one evening, and he was very polite but didn’t show much feelings. Lerina did somehow sense that he was sorry he had gotten her into this predicament, he just wasn’t able to say that to her face. Instead he chatted a lot with his son, explaining about some exciting new project he was about to start, something about some gems and the light of the trees. Lerina didn’t really listen to them for she was trying to learn how to crochet and had to concentrate upon the pattern but somehow the little she did hear made her feel a bit nervous, why she didn’t know.

Maedhros had been a bit sad the last days for he had received a message from Nerdanel and she had told him she had left their home. She had moved back to her father and the marriage was in reality over. There was nothing left between the two except bitterness and resentment and she had given up. It hurt them all a lot but the twins had come of age and didn’t need her anymore and she was weary and wanted to live her own life again. Lerina did understand even though Maedhros didn’t. She had after all lived in a home where few feelings were present and she thought Nerdanel really was wise to make that decision.

She got to meet also Maedhros cousins, one by one. She wasn’t so sure if she liked all of them but she went riding with Irisse and Nerwen and the two were nice enough. She even went hunting once with Celegorm and some other elves and even though she didn’t like the idea of killing something she enjoyed the forest and the wild ride. Celegorm called her a wild one and that made her giggle and laugh. 

Maedhros saw how the bud slowly opened into a rose and she put on weight and soon he realized that she was starting to become very beautiful indeed. He was getting worried, they would have to attend to the queens party and she would receive a lot of attention, not all of it wanted he was sure. The seamstress was busy making her a dress and Lerina was a bit bothered by the changes in her body. Being malnourished for so long she now started to catch up with her lost development and she complained about pains in her bust and she did in fact start to grow also in length.

Fingon came to visit them a few days before they were to go to the party and Maedhros was nervous when he introduced them. He had made sure that the guest room next to their master bedroom was prepared and he knew that Lerina had accepted that he would stay with Fingon that night but he wasn’t yet sure if she really understood how serious his feelings for his lover were. Fingon stared at Lerina as Maedhros made the formal introduction and there was disbelief in his eyes but also a bit of worry. “ Nelyo, where did this come from? She has become…radiant!”

Lerina giggled and curtsied and Fingon took her hand and kissed it politely. She had changed so much in just few weeks it was almost unbelievable. She was still shy, still fragile looking and a bit nervous too but there was a sort of light in her eyes that told him she now enjoyed life and it made her very beautiful. Maedhros just grinned. “ She has freed herself from the darkness of her past and I must say she is running this house like a true champion”

Lerina blushed. “ Oh, you are just too kind, I am still learning.”

Fingon was fascinated by her, he couldn’t help it. He had at first feared that Nelyo had become infatuated by her but that wasn’t the case. They regarded each-other as friends, almost like siblings and he was sort of glad that Maedhros now had a friend who would always be there by his side. It felt safe somehow. Fingon sensed that Lerina in spite of her tragic childhood was a very wise person, one with the potential of becoming very smart indeed and also a person capable of seeing the truth no matter what lies she was being served. She was a bit nervous around him at first but then they sat down to play a game of cards which Maedhros had taught her and before long she was laughing and having a great time. The two ner told her stories of their families and the atmosphere was both relaxed and friendly.

When the card game ended Lerina was a bit drunk and Maedhros helped her to bed, he hesitated before he got up and he grasped her hand. “ Is this really alright with you?” 

She nodded, smiled. “ It is, it is not as if we really are married now is it? Go to him, that is where you belong after all. Didn’t I promise I wouldn’t stand in your way?”

He nodded. “ You did. Bless you Lerina, if there is anything I will be in the guestroom.” 

She grinned. “ I know silly, go now, have fun.”

She pulled her blankets up and her grin became a bit naughty. “ And Nelyo?”

He turned his head, frowned. “ Yes?” 

She giggled. “The walls are thin, don’t keep me awake?”

He scoffed. “ We will try, but I cannot promise that you won’t hear us.” 

She just giggled. “ I was kidding, I am half drunk and tired, you could exercise a herd of horses in there and I wouldn’t notice. “

He bent down quickly and planted a quick and chaste kiss upon her brow. “ Sleep well Lerina”

She bit her lower lips. “ I will not say the same for I think he will be disappointed if you fall asleep”

Maedhros had to laugh and he blew out a few candles before he entered the guestroom. Fingon was already in the bed, he was sitting there with a small smile on his face. “ I must say that you are a very lucky one Nelyo. She has become amazing.” 

Maedhros pulled off his nightshirt, Eru how wonderful it felt getting rid of that thing. “She has come out of her shell yes, and her injuries are completely healed by now. “

Fingon stared at him with hungry eyes and Maedhros felt a shiver run down his spine, a shiver of sheer anticipation. “ I noticed, she has become truly gorgeous, and in so little time. It is unbelievable. “

Maedhros climbed onto the bed and Fingon grasped him immediately, pulled down into a fiery kiss. “ It is, I have grown rather fond of her, it is like having a sister.”

Fingon nodded. “ I like her Nelyo, I really do. You seem to thrive with her by your side and everything that makes you happy makes me happy.” 

Maedhros nipped at Fingon’s neck. “ I know! So, how are things going at court these days?”

The last time he visited he had been too busy helping his father to catch up on the newest gossip and Fingon sighed and caressed his ears, there was a glimpse of sadness in his eyes. “There are still rumors Nelyo, and they are not getting any prettier.”

Maedhros swore and Fingon kissed him tenderly. “ Worry not my love, we will protect you both. All my siblings and all of our cousins have found her to be quite likeable, we will watch her back, I promise.” 

Maedhros swallowed. “ Sometimes I wonder what I have done to deserve such a wonderful ner as you, Eru must be favoring me somehow.”

Fingon just sent him a crooked grin. “ Oh, I bet you are his favorite, and now, I have longed for this for so long and dreamed of you every night.”

He leaned forth and licked the tip of Maedhros ear and the tall redhead let out a short hiss and then a gasp as Fingon gently let a finger run up the length of his shaft. He was already aroused and oozing pre cum and Fingon chuckled. “ So ready, I think I haven’t been the only one longing for this”

Maedhros almost growled, he was bucking against the touch, so teasing and light. Fingon knew exactly how to make him crazy with desire. “ I have to confess that you are right.” 

Fingon had a wolfish expression upon his fair face. “ Have you been a naughty boy and touched yourself thinking of me?”

Maedhros gasped as Fingon gave his length a few very suggestive pulls. “ Yes, yes I have!”

Fingon chuckled. “ Good, then I know I haven’t been the only one!” 

He started kissing his way down Maedhros body, taking his sweet time and Maedhros was wriggling and cursing, his skin already covered by a thin layer of sweat and he was breathing hard. Fingon was just as aroused as himself and since he was taller he could reach Fingon’s shoulders as his lover started to lick teasingly at his weeping cock. Fingon was very sensitive where his neck met his shoulders and he had learned how to drive his cousin mad. Fingon knew that his lover couldn’t last long like this, he was too eager and had waited for too long already so he just went for it, hoping to make Maedhros spill right away.

Maedhros was trying to resist, to make it last for as long as possible but it was no use, Fingon knew exactly how to make him climax almost without any effort at all and before long he arched and shuddered, let out a muffled cry as he spilled and allowed the orgasm to overtake his every sense. Fingon was swallowing every drop and licked him clean afterwards while Maedhros still shuddered with the aftershocks, he always became hyper sensitive right after having come and Fingon knew so he was very careful. Maedhros grinned, a grin filled with promises and grasped onto Fingon, flung him over onto his back and pinned him to the bed. “Now, it is payback time!” 

Fingon squealed with delight and surrendered, he was so close already and he was glad the night was long for it would be made good use of. 

 

Lerina had sort of dozed off, she woke up suddenly because she had heard something, her ears were rather good and she blushed when she realized what it was that had ended her sleep. She didn’t doubt that the two in the guestroom were busy and she swallowed and turned around. She didn’t want to listen but she couldn’t help it, the walls weren’t really that thin but she could hear quite a lot anyhow and she blushed even deeper. They were enjoying themselves and she felt a sort of emptiness forming deep within. She wasn’t jealous or maybe she was, she was envious of what they shared, the feelings and the certainty of them. She doubted that she ever would be able to have that kind of relationship with anyone. 

When she fell asleep again she immediately started dreaming of the many times her mother chastised her for being too outgoing and for having too much zeal. A lady ought to be demure and submissive. She moaned in her sleep, she was free from that now but the memories would forever haunt her and she had a sense of foreboding resting within her mind, like snake coiled up, ready to strike. The dream ended with a rather weird image of shining light and glowing red, like a veil of blood. 

The next day Maedhros came to her bed again before the maids would come to wake them, and he made sure that the bed looked as if they both had slept in it during the night. He had bathed and still there was a foreign scent coming from him, something musky and strange that made her nostrils flare. There were some rather dark marks in his neck she realized had to be love bites or hickeys and he put on a high collared tunic to cover them. She felt embarrassed for she knew what the two of them had done, she just hadn’t expected to see the physical evidence of it. She bit her lower lip. “ The servants, won’t they see that Fingon wasn’t alone in bed?”

Maedhros sent her a tired smile, there was a sort of light in his eyes and his expression was tender and a bit distant. “We changed the sheets, worry not.”

She nodded and got up, this day she was to try the new dress on for the first time and she was a bit nervous. Her bust had grown quite a lot and she had gotten a bit taller too. And her hips had gotten wider too, she no longer looked as prepubescent as before and although it made her proud it also made her a bit confused. She no longer knew her own body. It was new to her and she didn’t have anyone there she could confide in.

They went to breakfast and Fingon showed up too after a while, greeted Maedhros as if they hadn’t spent the night together and Lerina did see the same light in his eyes as in Maedhros. She could almost see the love between the two of them and she thought it was tragic that they couldn’t let it be exposed. They ate while discussing some political matters Lerina didn’t quite understand and then the two ellyn went to take a ride through the woods behind the mansion. Lerina was to have the dress fitted and she was excited and a bit nervous. She had to dress like a princess from now on, but she couldn’t be exaggerate. She had to show the wealth and status of her new family and yet be discrete, the queen was the one to wear the most expensive jewelry and the most exquisite dresses, the rules for how to dress were many and intricate.

The seamstress greeted her with a warm smile and there was a couple of maids present who had helped sewing the dress. Lerina felt nervous and the seamstress gave her a cup of wine to calm her nerves. The first impression was vital for how she would be received at court, she had to impress them and yet seem humble. She almost fainted when she saw the dress, it was wonderful. It had the deep dark bottle green color of her wedding dress but the style was very different. It was rather tight at the waist and chest with long flowing sleeves and a wide skirt and small vines with golden leaves had been embroidered all over the thin fabric which lay over a layer of velvet. It was elegant and discrete, an eye catcher without being vulgar or too sexy and the seamstress grinned, a very wide and pleased grin. “ This is perfect my lady, you will make them all swoon.”

She knew why, the dresses the court ladies had worn at her wedding had been way more intricate and so filled with gems they almost resembled stiff armor. It was like staring at a huge pile of sparkly pieces of glass and their gowns had sort of drowned within the mass of equally fantastic creations. Her dress was simple and yet way more pleasing to the eye and the seamstress chuckled. “ You cannot compete with the dresses at court, but you can outshine them” 

Lerina nodded. “ Oh I bet this will start a new fashion for sure” 

The seamstress nodded and there was something rather serious in her eyes. “ I hope so, the seamstresses back in Tirion are working themselves half to death whenever there is a ball or a feast. The gowns are covered with gems, and everyone has to be sewn onto the fabric by hand. I have friends in there who have spent months on a gown only to have it returned because there weren’t enough gems on it. “

Lerina got a bad taste in her mouth. “That is rather bad isn’t it?” 

The seamstress nodded. “ It is, be glad you haven’t spent much time in there yet, it is like a pack of wolves and if they sense weakness they will be all over you. “

Lerina shuddered and the nis straightened her skirt a bit. “ They refuse to speak of the old days before the great journey when all dressed in animal hides or went nude, they see their past as barbaric and uncivilized but I am telling you my lady, they have just switched one sort of barbarism for another one and it is no less savage.”

Lerina swallowed hard. “ I will keep that in mind.”

The seamstress nodded. “ You’d better my lady, you will be like a lamb in a pack of wolves and to throw such an innocent young thing as you into that depraved society is sinful. Be glad your husband is strong and respected, that will be your shield.”

Lerina managed to smile, a very faint smile and it never reached her eyes. The seamstress cocked her head. “ We will put some of that gorgeous hair of yours up, and curl the rest, and this morning some jewelry arrived from your father in law. He had made it just for you.” 

Lerina frowned. “ Why? “ 

The seamstress shrugged. “ I do not know my dear. But I have never seen the likes of it ever!”

Lerina got curious. “May I take a look at it?”

The nis nodded and left the room, returned with a box and when she opened the lid soft light seemed to stream out of it. She stared at a necklace and a pair of earrings unlike anything she had imagined. The necklace was in gold and shaped like vines entangling around some gems that were literally glowing, they were not large but they were so clear and sparkly and she had no idea of what they were. The earrings were made in the same style and the light from the gems silvery in a way, like the light of Telperion.

She gaped, the things were beyond beautiful and she suddenly remembered when Fëanor visited them, he had praised her silvery hair rather vigorously and he had even touched it once and mumbled something about Nerwen being too stubborn and proud. Later that day she had seen him enter hers and Maedhros bedroom, thinking his son had sent him to get something Maedhros had forgotten she didn’t really think of it but her hairbrush hadn’t been where she left it that morning when she got to bed that night. And there were no hairs in it, as if someone had cleaned it. She felt a strange heavy sensation in her gut, what had he done? She bit her lower lip and the sense of foreboding got stronger. She couldn’t refuse to wear these things, but she no longer admired their beauty, she couldn’t help but feel that these lovely small jewels somehow were harbingers of something terrible to come.

Fingon and Maedhros returned rather late, Maedhros told her that they had discovered that a drainage ditch had been dug too shallowly but she knew the truth. They had probably found some nice place in the woods to fuck and she had to giggle. Both had leaves in their hair and looked disheveled and they went straight to the baths and stayed there until dinnertime. 

Lerina knew that the feast would be in just a couple of days and she was dreading it even more now than before. She felt safe there in the mansion, it was her stronghold, her castle. But she knew that it would become a prison if she didn’t try to seek also the outside world and she knew she had to grow up and become more mature. She had to face the court and her status sooner or later and it was better to dive in than to crawl. Her mother had taught her some good things after all and she felt that she could face everybody with her head held up high. It made her scared to the bone but for Maedhros sake she was willing to endure it all. He had become her only good friend and confidant and she didn’t want to let him down. 

She knew that Fingon would stay until they all were to leave for Tirion and she decided to practice dancing and conversation until then. Whatever would come, she would convince everybody that she was a perfect lady and the things they were saying behind her back were indifferent. She wanted to show them all, the only problem was that strange sensation hiding in the back of her mind, the fear and feeling of something being wrong. She had no idea of whether or not she was just paranoid but she promised herself that she would keep an eye on her father in law from now on. Yes, she wouldn’t allow him to ruin anything, but she had a suspicion that he already had. She hadn’t really prayed before but now she did, she prayed the valar for strength to face the world, and for the strength to stand tall no matter what happened. She could only hope that they would listen.


	5. Like a festering wound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maedhros and Lerina arrive at the ball and the evening seems to go well, but then Things takes a terrible turn for the worse, is evil really on the lose in the blessed realm?

Chapter five: Like a festering wound…

The party was drawing nearer, and Lerina was getting more nervous by the hour. The last couple of days had been rather busy with all sorts of preparations and the last thing they did before leaving for Tirion was to make sure that Lerina knew the latest gossip, and knew how the dances that were in fashion by now. Fingon had shown her the steps and it had been fun but she was terrified of having to dance with someone she didn’t know. Maedhros reassured her that they would do what they could to ensure that she didn’t have to dance with strangers at all and she knew that all the ner in the family would try to keep her occupied. 

But she was afraid of what she would encounter, she just knew that it would be a terrible challenge and she shivered as she sat in the wagon on the way to the palace. Maedhros sat next to her, holding her hand and his huge warm hand felt so safe. It was the only thing that stopped her from bursting into tears. As they got closer to the city it was rather apparent that something was going on for there were banners hung everywhere in the queens colors and the streets were decorated with sand colored in bright colors. There were elves everywhere wearing their finery and the scent of perfume and flowers was almost a bit too much. 

The palace was also decorated and it was an awesome sight but Lerina felt a bit repulsed by all the pomp and circumstance. It was just too much, it became vulgar in a way. The vanyar liked it that way, and so Finwë did let his wife have her way but it was rather apparent that the noldor found the splendor a bit overwhelming The carriage stopped and Maedhros leaned forth and kissed her cheek gently. “Remember, hold your head up high and do not let anything scare you. I am here little one. You are more gorgeous than any of them, remember that”   
Fingon nodded in agreement and Lerina smiled but her eyes were huge and dark. The seamstress had done such a stunning job and the ladies of the mansion had put up Lerina’s hair and put a small circlet with tiny emeralds on her. The gems she had gotten from Fëanor were glittering around her neck and from her ears and she felt as though she was over decorated somehow. The makeup the servants had put on her made her look way less pale than she would be otherwise and brought some color to her cheeks and she had looked in the mirror and couldn’t quite believe that this was her. She did look stunning and she found some strength in that. At least they couldn’t claim that she looked like a child anymore.   
Fingon was wearing some very elegant robes in light blue and silver and he had braided his hair and looked very handsome but her husband was even more striking in appearance. To match Lerina he had put on some clothes in dark green with copper trimming and he was so gorgeous she knew that many would forget about her and just stare at him instead. They were met by Maedhros oldest brother Maglor who stood by the entrance and looked stressed out. “Just my usual luck isn’t it? They want me to sing!” 

Maedhros gave him a friendly pat across the back. “Then I will remember to find something to stuff into my ears, just joking brother, I think they have made a great decision. Your voice is the best”

Maglor took a deep breath. “ So speaks the one who never has had to sing a note in all his life!”

Lerina giggled and Maglor took her hand and kissed it gently. “Lerina dear, you look like a vala, being married must be good for you for you are radiant” 

She giggled again and Maglor nodded towards the entrance. “You are among the last to arrive, the rest of the family is already waiting. Worry not, this will be a grand evening”

Lerina did doubt that but she managed to put on a shaky smile and Maedhros grasped her hand and they walked up the stairs. Fingon entered with Maglor a few paces behind them, and he didn’t even look at Maedhros and Lerina knew how much it hurt them both that they couldn’t arrive together like the couple they really were. The great hall was glorious, the colors and the lights and everything was almost otherworldly and Lerina was staring at the strange lamps Fëanor had crafted for so long that she didn’t even notice that an ellon wearing Finwë’s uniform announced them. Suddenly hundreds of heads turned and stared and Lerina felt a sudden and acute need to run and seek cover. Maedhros held her hand, whispering. “Relax, you are safe. They cannot harm you” 

She shivered ever so slightly but managed to hold her head up and smile. She saw the queen and Finwë up at the throne, both looked stunning and she did see Maedhros siblings and cousins gathered in a corner. Nerdanel stood by her father by a fountain and Fëanor was obviously discussing something with his oldest half brother, he didn’t look very happy at all but he kept his voice down. Many stared at her necklace and earrings and there where whispers of disbelief as they went down the stairs. She knew that her dress caused the disturbance, it was so different from the others there. Many a nis almost gaped and she felt a bit uncomfortable, she was being glared at from every angle and felt it, like tiny pin pricks against her very skin. Maedhros whispered soothing words to her as they walked up towards the king and queen to pay their respects and she managed to keep her chin up and her smile stayed on although it was a very stiff one.   
Finwë saw them approaching and got up, walked down from the dais and many gasped, they couldn’t believe that he showed such honor to anyone. He smiled and Lerina saw that his eyes were warm and compassionate. “Welcome Lerina, and my dear grandson. It is a pleasure to have you among us once more.”

Maedhros kissed his grandfather’s ring and to Lerina’s utter shock Finwë bowed and hugged her, whispering that he had made sure that they got a table during the feast that ensured that everybody knew he favored them. Indis herself came down too and hugged Lerina and the young nis saw the soft expression within the queen’s eyes and knew she had a potential friend there too. Indis was rather lyrical in her praise of Lerina’s dress and she made sure that as many of the court ladies heard it as possible. Fêanor came over too and he seemed very pleased by the fact that she wore his gifts. It was very obvious that everybody wondered about the gloriously shining jewels. There was to be a grand feast at first and everybody was escorted to their tables by a servant, Lerina was shocked to find that she and Maedhros had gotten a table between Fëanor and his half brothers, it meant that they were very high in status and Maedhros whispered to her that it was because he was the second heir in line to the throne since his father was the first heir.   
After a while she relaxed a bit and the food was being served. She had no idea of what half of it was and Maedhros made sure that she didn’t drink too much. He was acting like a very caring and loving husband, making sure that everybody saw him caressing her, even kissing her a few times. She was glad he was watching over her, some of the wine that was being served was terribly strong and she saw that some ner already was starting to get a bit drunk. She did have fun, it was interesting to watch all the lovely dresses and the jewelry the ladies wore and she felt safe there by her husband’s side. After a while she was so stuffed she couldn’t eat another bite and by now it was allowed to leave one’s table to sit with others and chat. Fingon returned to them, he had been seated by his father’s table and he looked a bit worried. Maedhros leaned forth and Fingon made a grimace. “The valar are insane, they have released Melkor! He has been free for several months already”

Maedhros just gasped. “Are you serious? I thought it was just a rumor? Have they forgotten the mayhem he caused?”

Fingon shook his head. “No, but they think he is repentant and have changed his ways.”

Maedhros almost growled. “ Ada was afraid of something like this, what now?”

Fingon just shrugged. “ I have no idea, but I am rather sure that it will spell trouble. He haven’t changed at all, if he says he has it is one very fat lie”

Maedhros saw that Lerina looked a bit nervous and he kissed her cheek lovingly. “Do not worry dear, they will surely see him for what he truly is and imprison him again before he can do any harm”

Lerina tried to smile and Fingon took her hand and kissed it, made sure that everybody could see it. “Everybody is in awe of you Lerina, my mother thinks you have been transformed into a true swan. And uncle Finarfin thinks you look like a dream.”

She blushed almost violently and Fingon blinked at Maedhros. “You have a true treasure there my friend, but this you already know”

He got back up and bowed before he went to chat with some friends and Maedhros saw that Maglor joined the musicians that were to provide music for the dances. “Soon there will be dancing, are you ready? The royal family is expected to excel also in this”

She managed to grin, once again she felt trapped. “As long as you are with me”

He held her hand, caressed it gently. “Always Lerina”

The music started and the king and queen were the first out onto the dancefloor, Indis wore a wonderful dress in a purple color with embroideries in silver and it was absolutely gorgeous but a bit too long and she struggled with it but managed to dance still the same, although with some difficulties. She was cheered by everybody there and congratulations were shouted and some pushed a huge table into the back of the hall, it was filled with gifts and Lerina had to stare. Some of the gifts were so grand they had to cost a fortune and Maedhros whispered that many tried to bribe the queen into favoring them in this manner.   
After one dance the rest of the royal family were expected to join the king and queen and Maedhros took Lerina’s hand and lead her to the dancefloor. She felt eyes all over her again, and she heard the whispers too. Some thought she couldn’t be the same nis he had married, others whispered words of jealousy. She tried to only think of Maedhros and the steps, that made it easier but still it was a bit hard on her. After a while she got used to it, Maedhros let her dance with his brothers, then his cousins and she even danced with Fëanor and Finwë. Fingolfin taught her some new steps and Finarfin praised her unique taste in fashion rather loudly. When she managed to forget about all the strangers present everything was just wonderful but she feared being alone if just for one moment.

The party got more wild and the royal couple retired for the night, she hadn’t really realized it was that late already, the evening had just flown by. Many were drinking hard and Maglor had a hard time trying to make everybody stay quiet while he and the other musicians were singing. He sang a few songs all alone and his voice was heavenly, Lerina couldn’t describe it otherwise. She and Maedhros stood there listening together with Celegorm and Curufin and Lerina didn’t notice that a nis came walking up to her from behind. Suddenly she felt a hand grasp her wrist none too friendly and she turned around to see a very pretty dark haired maiden wearing a very intricate circlet and a dress that had to cost more than the value of a good horse. “So, you have managed to catch yourself a prince? You are just a slut, but maybe you have learned some tricks to get yourself into his bed!”

Lerina just stared, how did this nis dare to use such a language? The female didn’t stop, she stared at Lerina’s chest. “ I see that you have put on weight? Do you have a bun in the oven already? Perhaps you had to get married to make sure your bastard does get a name?”

Maedhros managed to pick up what the nis was whispering and he turned around, and suddenly the nis was pushed up against a column by a very angry ner who was smiling but there was death in his glare. “Heed this advice young lady, if I hear one more negative word about MY WIFE I will tell my grandfather of this and demand that you are made a servant in our house, until the end of Arda!”

The nis paled, she licked her lips and tried to look seductive but that was a horribly failed tactic for Maedhros got an expression of absolute disgust on his face. “Do not think you have anything which can tempt me you little whore. Lerina is a more worthy princess than you can ever be and if she does bear me children nobody will be more proud of that than me.”

Fëanor had witnessed the action and came forth, his eyes were shooting lightning and he grasped onto the nis and dragged her off towards some other elves that had to be her parents. They appeared to be shocked by what the prince told them.

Maedhros caressed Lerina’s cheek and Fingon and Irisse came to their aid too. Irisse brought a goblet of thin wine and some comforting words and Fingon sneered. “I was waiting for it, some ner had the balls to ask me if you had told me what tricks she used to make you marry her, if she had learned something extraordinary.”

Irisse sighed. “The ladies all think she is with child already, the rumors are spreading that she was that way already before you were wed, that it can’t be yours”

Maedhros groaned and rolled his eyes. “That too, I can’t believe how mean some are.” 

Lerina almost whimpered. “But I am not…Oh Eru!”

Irisse embraced her. “We know dear, do not worry. It will be alright.”

Fingon sighed. “I fear that such things will be discussed even after this ball is over. Haven’t you all noticed? The respect is gone, everybody is becoming judgmental and full of prejudice, it is as if all the piousness and righteousness is just a hollow lie, a façade created to hide a festering wound within our society.”

Irisse nodded. “You are right, things are changing, and not for the better, just some few years ago nobody would have dared creating such rumors, or saying something like that. Something is corrupting us I fear, and I have no idea of what it may do if it is allowed to go on.” 

Maedhros looked tired all of a sudden. “Grandfather and Indis have retired, then we can do whatever we please. I will go and ask the servants to prepare the carriage.”

Fingon smiled. “Do that, I will stay here with Lerina until you return.”

Lerina let out a sigh of relief and knew that Maedhros knew exactly what she needed. She wanted to go home right away and forget all about this ball.   
She had been drinking a lot and suddenly she realized that she felt the need to pee, and judging by the intensity she had a full bladder too. She winced and stared at Irisse. “ I have to go to the privy? Could you follow me?”

Irisse nodded. “Of course, Fingon, wait here, we ladies will be right back”

He smiled and Irisse took her hand and they walked towards the privies, on the way they met Nerwen who also needed to visit the ladies room and Nerdanel who looked a bit angry. Apparently some vanyarin lady had approached her and called her a bad nis for having left her husband. The privies of the palace were grand and beautiful and everything was so clean and light and modern. Lerina had been in awe of the running water when she had been there last and Irisse was chatting away about how she and Celegorm had gone hunting alone and how he had fallen and cut himself badly and how he had valiantly but stubbornly refused her to sew the cut because he was afraid it would shock her maidenly fëa and be indecent since the cut was on his ass.   
Nerwen laughed so hard she got hiccups and Lerina had done what she came to do and left the privy since there was quite a que already. She waited on the outside and stood there admiring a very lovely painting of two elflings playing on a field when she suddenly felt arms grasping her from behind. She was pulled backwards into a small room used to store table cloths and rugs and a hand pressed against her mouth and the shock was simply so great she didn’t have time to scream or make any sound. 

The room was rather dark and she felt herself being pushed down against something that had to be a huge pile of towels or something like that and hands were grasping her by her throat while other hands were trying to untie the lacings of her bodice. She went cold, all over. She couldn’t breathe, her head was buzzing but she did realize what these assailants wanted. It had to be two ner and she could smell wine and something else too, a flowery unpleasant smell. Someone had to have seen this? But the corridor had been empty when she left the privy and she tried to twist herself out of the grip but the hand around her throat tightened its grasp until she felt how her consciousness was fading. 

There were voices, hushed and thick with something she barely knew, but it made the taste of bile flood her mouth. “Hold her, that little whore is gonna pay for this, My sister ought to be the princess”

The other voice was darker, deeper. “They say she is with child.”

The first voice chuckled. “It matters not, the prince is such a fool if he thinks that it is his then, she must have had more cock than a henhouse”

The other one laughed and Lerina felt a hand pulling at her skirts, getting in underneath them. “She has got nice skin, I bet that redhead has had some really nice rides on this filly”

The first voice was thick with some dark emotion. “I bet she will be quite a nice fit yes, hurry, I want to test that cunt myself.” 

There was a hand trying to pry her legs apart and she felt cold panic rush through her, her heart felt as though it was about to burst. “He will be better off with a new and fresh bride, not this slut. My sister is at least a virgin”

“What if she loses it, or fades?”

“No problem, the world ought to be spared for bastards and whores too”

Lerina screamed inside of her head, she felt terribly cold, and every sound seemed too loud, so violent. “Gag her somehow” 

She felt the hand on her throat shift a little and another hand was sliding over the soft hairs between her legs, then a hard finger pushed against her core and the fingernail did cut into her sensitive nether lips, the sensation made her buck with all her might and she managed to take a deep breath of air and screamed. It was one scream but the loudest sound she had ever managed to create. “Damn it, shut her up, I am almost ready here.”

She heard the sound of fabric being pulled aside and she felt tears running down her cheeks, not like this, please Eru, not like this. She wouldn’t survive having her honor robbed from her like that, no elf would. The hand grasped onto her chin and something was pressed against her face, she was being pushed face first into the towels and she felt a weight on top of her, then she could feel something warm and hard being pressed against her inner thigh and she lost it. She tried to buck again and a hand grasped her hair, pulled so hard the world seemed to explode in pain and she screamed into the fabric and felt that hardness pushing against her entrance eagerly. Everything seemed to freeze, like time had stopped, she could only hear her own straining heart and the heavy breathing of the ner on top of her. He was gasping obscene words and she felt that slick liquid already was leaking from him, it was utterly disgusting and she would rather have killed herself than having to go through this.

Then there was a loud boom and bright light and she felt the ner on top of her tense up and she felt hot liquid squirting all over her female parts and then the hands disappeared and she managed to scream once more before everything went completely black.   
Fingon just stared, he had never seen his cousin and lover like that before, his eyes were ablaze and he was sneering. The ner who had held her was tackled by two palace guards and he looked absolutely terrified. The one who had been mounting Lerina laid on the floor, knocked out by a vase Maedhros had tossed the moment they entered the room and saw the horrible thing that was happening. Irisse did panic when she left the privy and saw that Lerina was missing but one of her earrings lay on the floor and she and Nerwen had found Fingon and Maedhros and then they had heard the scream and two guards had been close by and came running too.   
Maedhros was shivering all over, eyes black with rage and despair and Nerwen and Irisse stood in the door and both were pale. Nerwen was breathing hard, as if she had been running. “Nerwen, run to my father and bid him come, and send a servant to grandfather too, and one to get a healer.”

She nodded and ran and Nerdanel entered, she was pale too and she had brought two lamps that showed the situation in all its horror. The unconscious ner still lay on the floor with his private parts exposed, leaking white fluid and the smell was strong. Lerina was unconscious and Nerdanel gasped and ran over. She grasped the torn skirts and Maedhros almost whimpered. “Ammë, did he…?”

Nerdanel took a deep breath, Lerina still lay on her belly and there were thick droplets of semen all over her butt and female parts. And she saw blood, Nerdanel went pale. “There is blood here…”

Maedhros went ashen grey. “ Oh Eru no, please no!” 

He grasped onto Lerina’s hand and there were tears on his face. “ Don’t let us have been too late.”

Fingon swallowed hard. “I do not think that bastard was...in her, when you tossed that vase.”

Maedhros threw a pleading glance at his mother. “Please, can you see if…If she has been deflowered?” 

Nerdanel sighed but she nodded. Better her than someone Lerina didn’t even know. She moved a lamp for better light and moved the young nis legs and examined her quickly but thoroughly. The blood came from a rift in her skin, there was no signs of penetration and Nerdanel let out a huge sigh of relief. “She is intact, the swine didn’t have time to fulfill his foul deed”

Maedhros whimpered. “ I want to kill him, I really want to kill him! Oh Lerina, what will happen now?”

Nerdanel was thinking fast. “ I will wash her, and we will not tell anyone of the fact that she almost lost her virtue today. She almost got raped, that is all we will say. The healers doesn’t need to check her for injuries but they may need to sedate her”

Maedhros nodded and tossed Nerdanel a towel and she wiped the semen off Lerina’s skin and pulled the skirts back down into place. Not a second too early for Fëanor and Finwë and a healer burst through the door, all pale and in obvious shock. Maedhros swallowed hard and Nerdanel bowed her head and tried to look calm. The guards still held the ner hard and Finwë stared at him and the unconscious one, his eyes wide and disbelieving. “What has happened here?”

Fingon managed to keep his voice steady. “Irisse and Nerwen was escorting Lerina to the privy and she left before them since the room was a bit crowded. And when they left she wasn’t there but they found her earring on the floor. They ran and got me and Maedhros and we heard her scream and broke down the door.”

Fëanor was pale but the fire in his eyes was almost too bright to be real. “Why?!”

The conscious ner was struggling against the guards and he was obviously rather drunk but able to put up a fight nonetheless. Finwë was shaking all over. “They tried to rape her?!”

The voice revealed his disbelief, it was a crime almost unheard of among elves, in fact they barely had a word for the deed. Maedhros nodded. “Yes, we came just in time to prevent the deed from being…fulfilled.”

Finwë just stared with dark eyes. “Eru, is she alright?”

Nerdanel smiled but the smile was a stiff one, her eyes were cold. “There are no physical injuries but she must have suffered from a terrible shock.”

The healer was an old and experienced elf, he took Lerina’s hand and felt her pulse. “She is in shock yes, she will need a lot of help I fear.”

Maedhros almost sobbed. “What can we do?” 

The healer sighed. “ I have never treated the victim of such foul deeds before but I suggest that you get her back home to where she feels safe and spend as much time with her as possible. Never leave her alone, and make sure she eats and drinks. Such a terrible violation can make some of us lose the will to live.”

Fingon saw how deeply those words affected Maedhros and he felt how his heart swelled with love and compassion. Irisse and Nerwen stood by the door and both looked very shocked and Fëanor walked over to the ner the guards held and repeated his question in a voice that could have frozen the sundering sea solid. The ner looked as if he was ready to piss himself and the guards shook him to make him answer. “ Uh, she is a slut, everybody knows that. There is no sin in taking what many have taken before. The prince deserves better!”

Finwë was still pale. “ Oh Eru’s mercy, if that is the common belief then the valar help us all. I knew some have questioned Lerina but I had no idea it was this bad!”

Maedhros sighed and held the limp hand, there were still tears on his face. “I don’t think I can let her return to this city ever again atya, I am sorry but I feel as though we are surrounded by hungry predators everywhere.”

Fëanor looked as if he really didn’t know what to say and the ner spat on the floor again. “Everybody knows she’s been with at least a dozen ner before she wedded the prince, it is common knowledge. She was sneaking out of her parent’s house every night” 

Finwë looked calm, deceptively calm. “Says who?” 

The ner stuttered. “ Uh, many.”

The king almost growled. “Name one please! I want to find the source of these outrageous rumors.”

The ner was pale. “A stranger, I spoke with him at a shop down by the gates yesterday. He told me everything. And others have spoken to him too.”

Fëanor had an expression of disgust on his handsome face and Nerdanel looked frightened. “How did this stranger look?”

The ner was shaking slightly. “ Tall, handsome, dark hair and rather dark skin. Dark eyes, I think he was a noldo but I am not sure.”

Finwë frowned. “ I know no noldo fitting that description. Did he say anything more?”

The ner tried to look harmless and meek. “ Yes, he said that prince Fingolfin ought to watch his back before his older brother stabs it, and that everybody knows that the Finwëions are flawed and marred.”

Fëanor let out a snort and Finwë gasped and Maedhros shook his head in disbelief. “Who would have the guts and audacity to say something like that?! It is outrageous!”

Finwë stared at the unconscious ner. “ Place them in the dungeons, feed them but keep them separated, and let nobody speak to them. I will decide their fate later on.” 

Fëanor gritted his teeth. “Somebody is plotting against us!”

Finwë sighed. “ Yes, I fear you are right son, somebody is trying to pull our very family apart. But who?” 

Fëanor sneered and his face looked ominous for a moment. “ Oh but I have a good idea of who this can be. “

He didn’t say anything more, he just walked right out of the room and Finwë turned around and his shoulders slumped. “Alright, we have to try to keep this hidden for as long as possible. And Maedhros, do take her back home. I will send my best healer to your aid if you should need it.”

Nerdanel bit her lower lip. “She may need the company of other females for a while, is there anyone who may want to help her?”

Irisse smiled. “ I would have loved to, but I do not really know her that well.”

Maedhros looked up. “She has got a cousin, one she likes I think” 

Finwê smiled. “I know of her, yes, I will write a letter to her parents and ask if she may visit Lerina for a while, just to keep her company. They doesn’t need to know why, and I doubt that they will dare to refuse if I am the one asking.”

Nerdanel smiled and it was a smile of relief. “Good, now, make sure she gets home quickly, she has had a terrible experience.”

Finwë nodded but his eyes were distant, that such behavior had started to appear among them was a source of great worry and that the elves had started to speak of others the way they spoke of Lerina was also something new and very disturbing. He had to start an investigation and question the two ner further but it would have to wait. But something was wrong, he could feel it in his bone and he felt as if he had touched something hidden, something dark and disgusting. 

Maedhros lifted Lerina gingerly and carried her bridal style and the servants showed them a corridor only used by the workers of the palace so nobody would see them leave thus. Maedhros felt as though his head was about to explode with rage and fear, Lerina was a friend, as dear to him as his brothers and so pure and sweet. He wished that he could have broken the neck of those morons. The carriage was waiting and Fingon had ran to his father to let him know that he would escort them back to the mansion. He got his horse and rode ahead of them and the driver was making the horses run as fast as they could. He knew that this was a serious situation so he shouted to the horses to make them run the whole way. Maedhros held Lerina closely and he was terrified. She was so cold and her heart was beating so erratically and she looked so small and fragile.

They arrived at the mansion just before dawn and Lerina hadn’t awakened yet. The driver stopped the carriage right in front of the entrance and the horses were steaming. The servants left the house, confused by the sudden arrival and Fingon jumped off his horse. “Quick, heat up the bath and the bedroom. And get some strong brandy”

The nis who was head of the household when Lerina was away looked shocked and she almost shrieked when Maedhros emerged from the carriage, carrying an unconscious Lerina. “Oh Eru, what has happened to our lady?!”

Maedhros was still pale and his face grim. “She was attacked, please, do as Fingon asks of you. I will explain later.”

The servants ran like rabbits everywhere, eager to please and shocked by what their master had told them. Maedhros carried Lerina to the bath and Fingon held her as Maedhros stripped off his clothes. Then Maedhros got rid of Lerina’s dress with the help of the nis in charge of the household. The nis was an elf who had served Finwë and his house ever since they came to Aman and she stared at the torn skirts and her nose shivered. “ My lord, do not tell me that she has been…” 

Maedhros growled. “Almost, I have no idea of what will happen to her now.” 

The nis swallowed hard. “Before we decided to leave the shores and travel west many were lost to the dark hunter, and some also got captured by the foul creatures that followed him. Some…some had been…violated when we found them. None made it.”

Maedhros bit his teeth together. “Thank you for that piece of information Celariel, I didn’t need it!”

She stared at him, the eyes were very sincere. “I am just being honest my lord, lying to oneself is never wise.”

Maedhros tried to smile. “ I know, help me get her into the water.”

Fingon had turned around, he had no interest in peeping at his lover’s wife and felt his cheeks burn red. They managed to get Lerina into the water and Celariel helped Maedhros wash her and they got some heat back into her body but she was still so very cold and pale. They wrapped her into some soft blankets and carried her to bed and made her swallow some very strong brandy before Maedhros laid down next to her and pulled the covers over them both. She would need his warmth now and his mind was reeling with the different possible outcomes of this.   
Fingon went to bed in the guestroom and he was feeling as though his heart was being torn in half. He was so sorry for Lerina and he was also full of compassion for Maedhros, but he was also angry, and afraid. He had sensed something that evening, something he had never felt before. It was cold and dark and ugly and it shouldn’t be there, among their kin here in the blessed realm. It was something that reminded him of the tales they told of the land they had left behind and the dangers they encountered there. This was just evil, a creeping slithering force trying to pry apart everything they had worked so hard to achieve and he knew that his uncle was right. Someone meant them harm, someone was trying to shift the balance of power but who and why? When he finally fell asleep he didn’t really relax but slept caught in disturbing dreams.

Lerina didn’t wake up that day, nor the next and Maedhros had started to fear that she never would come back to them. Then all of a sudden, as he sat by the bed reading some poems just to keep his mind from wandering too far into depressing thoughts she sat up in the bed, screaming so loud the windows almost shattered. Maedhros dropped the book, lost balance and fell backwards and hit the floor with a bang and Fingon who was sitting in the room next door trying to repair some broken tack stung himself on his needle. Lerina stared out into nothing, eyes wide open and she was trembling all over, like a tree in a violent storm. Maedhros managed to get back up, he flung himself onto the bed and grasped her hand and she yelped and stared at him as if she didn’t really see anything at all. Then she blinked and her expression changed to one of extreme confusion. “Maedhros? Where…what…?”

He held her hand gently, sat down next to her with slow steady movements as if not to frighten her further. “Don’t you remember?”

She stared at him with huge wide eyes and suddenly they darkened and she gasped. “The ball, and ….they…”

She curled into a ball, wailing and sobbing and he grasped her and pulled her close, tried to calm her down with his embrace but he couldn’t. She didn’t respond, she was just crying and shivering and Fingon came running with blood dripping from a pierced finger. “Eru, what has happened?”

Maedhros looked as if he was in despair. “She woke up, and screamed, and I cannot calm her down”

Fingon nodded. “ I see, I’ll go get Celariel.”

He ran off and Maedhros tried to rock Lerina in his arms, she was trembling all over and didn’t react to his touch at all. Fingon returned with a clearly shocked Celariel who threw herself down onto the bed beside Lerina and grasped her, feeling her pulse and touching her forehead with a grimace of disbelief. “She is caught by her memories, unable to escape them.”

Maedhros sighed, let his fingers glide through the long silvery locks. “Is there anything we can do?”

Celariel bit her lower lip, she looked as though she was in doubt about something. “Well, there is this one thing…”

Maedhros stared at her. “ Yes?” 

Celariel took a deep breath. “Just after we arrived here in Aman my sister in law fell down a flight of stairs and lost her unborn baby, she was close to fading from grief but one of the maiar of Lorien gave her some sort of herb that helped her overcome it. But it was supposedly very dangerous, it could erase her memories completely.”

Maedhros held his breath for a moment. “Can you get some of it? Please?”

Celariel hesitated, she stared at Lerina’s trembling body and sighed. “She has been through so much, the poor thing shouldn’t have to face yet more hardship.” 

Maedhros blinked, his expression shocked. “Are you suggesting that we let her die? Are you mad?”

Celariel stared at Maedhros and her eyes were serious. There was a silent strength and sorrow in those eyes that told him she had seen far more than he could ever imagine. “No, I am realistic. Do you know how many we lost during the great journey? How many we found mutilated by the enemy’s monsters? Do you think we could heal all of them? No, we did what we had to do back then, we ended their suffering. And she is suffering my lord.”

Maedhros grasped Celariel’s hand in a grip that could have crushed it. “ I refuse to let her die, do you hear? There is hope, Get that herb or leave this property forever!”

Celariel sighed deeply. “As you please my lord, I will get some of it. I think there is a bottle with some in the apothecary.”

She left and Maedhros embraced Lerina again, her eyes were open but empty, as if her fëa had fled already. Fingon watched in silent sorrow and he knew that his lover was on his side in this. He could count on Fingon’s support now and forever and that was a good feeling. He kissed her forehead gently. “Do not fear little one, I will keep you safe. I will keep you safe forever.”

The moment he said those words he felt a cold chill running down his spine, and he swallowed hard. He had a sense of foreboding, had he just told her a huge fat lie? Had he made promise he never would be able to hold?


	6. An unexpected arrival...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lerina is Close to fading but her niece comes to the rescue and suddenly Things take a very unexpected turn, will they be able to avoid a scandal of epic proportions?

Chapter six: An unexpected arrival. 

Celariel did return with some tea made from the herb and they did manage to make Lerina drink a little. Celariel did look as if she had her doubts but Maedhros refused to let go of hope. After a while she fell asleep and slept for most of the rest of the day. When she woke up she was very quiet and her eyes were strangely dull, as if her light somehow had been extinguished. She would live but the joy was gone from her, she had become lethargic and she barely spoke. It was rather clear that the memories still were there, and that she was haunted by them. At night she would toss and turn and cry in her sleep and Maedhros had a hard time making her eat anything. He was in despair.   
Then a carriage arrived at the mansion, it was Lerina’s niece Saeriel and suddenly the house became transformed. Saeriel was a very lovely nis, tall with long blond hair and clear green eyes and she had a contagious laughter and an outgoing attitude that was just endearing. She pulled the entire household out of the sort of gloomy state it had been in within a few hours. The curtains were removed and she was aghast when she saw Lerina. Maedhros had tried to catch her interest, to make her wake up from her apathy but he had failed. Fingon had tried too but he didn’t have any more luck and they were afraid she would fade after all. 

Saeriel dragged Lerina out of the house and into the gardens, constantly talking about everything from the latest gossip to the best way to dye one’s hair. She would brush Lerina’s hair, make her try different dresses and even put make up onto her pale face. Slowly Lerina started reacting and Maedhros was so relieved. Saeriel was a miracle and she didn’t allow Lerina to wallow in self pity even for a moment. She made her aunt help the farm workers, she prepared equipment for weaving and she was high and low and everywhere. 

Lerina had many very nice chats with Saeriel, the young nis was surprisingly mature, way more than Lerina and she knew just how to pull Lerina out of the darkness that had descended upon her soul. It wasn’t done in a day, it took weeks before Lerina managed to show up at the meals or participate in the running of the estate but she was returning to her old self.   
Saeriel was soon adored by everybody there and she brought life and light into their lives. She had a wicked sense of humor and Lerina sort of broke out of her shell and dared to joke or use a more profane language too. Maedhros praised her the first time she did swear and he was truly proud of the progress she was making. Saeriel was truly a gem.   
Finwë sent a messenger two months after the ball, carrying a letter. The two ner who had attacked Lerina had been taken to the ring of doom and they hadn’t returned, the valar had probably sentenced them to eternity in the halls of Namo. It was of course a tragedy for their families but Finwë was convinced that it was a symptom of something very bad. He had launched an investigation and the image he got wasn’t a good one at all. Someone had indeed spread gossip and evil rumors, and that person had also spread a lot of less than good attitudes. The descriptions varied so it couldn’t be just one ellon, or perhaps it was as Fëanor claimed, that the fallen vala wasn’t as repentant as he claimed to be. 

Fëanor presented the silmarils a month later, and everybody was in awe of them but Maedhros had a feeling of impending doom when he looked at the wonderful gems. They were too perfect and he just felt it, that his father had become a bit obsessed with them. Fingon was worried too, the valar were in awe of the work and the gems were made sacred, he didn’t think Fëanor should have made them in the first place. 

At home Lerina got better by the day, she had sort of learned to overcome the memories and learned to ignore them and Saeriel was busy restoring her spirit. She was blooming but she refused to return to Tirion, even for a short visit. Saeriel had told her family she would stay with Lerina for some years and Lerina was very grateful. With Saeriel she had a friend she could confide in, another female who could understand and support her and they friendship grew very strong.   
Then one day a letter arrived from one of Saeriel’s friends, a nis who was busy trying to catch the attention of Saeriel’s brother. She had some very disturbing news, Lerina’s parents hadn’t given up. The blow to their pride had obviously been too great to be ignored and now they were trying to cause problems again. The rumors in Tirion said that Lerina had suffered a miscarriage and that was the reason why she hadn’t been seen for a while and now her father was using that as an excuse, claiming that the union between his daughter and Maedhros wasn’t accepted by the valar. He also claimed that Maedhros hadn’t paid a bridal price, an old custom nobody followed anymore. So in short, he was planning on going to the valar and ask for the marriage to be annulled. 

Lerina almost went hysterical when she heard it, the friend of Saeriel wrote that Lerina’s father had a friend who would like to marry Lerina even if she was as it was written “Used goods”. Lerina knew of that ner, an old grouch who was even more pious than her mother, she would rather die than go through this. Maedhros had to take action right away, he wrote a long letter to Finwë and explained the situation and the high king went straight to the valar and explained the situation. He told them that her parents were trying to ruin the marriage because they felt as though they had been wronged and that they were narrow minded and mean. Varda was a bit shocked by what he said and Manwë got angry. They promised that if Lerina’s father showed up they would tell him exactly what they felt about that kind of behavior and that he could forget about having the marriage annulled. 

Maedhros laughed when he received the letter describing the reactions Finwë’s tale had created among the valar and Lerina was so relieved she wept. Her parents couldn’t cause her any more problems, or so she thought. Not long afterwards there were rumors claiming that Lerina was infertile since she hadn’t given Maedhros an heir yet and it even reached the court. Fingon wasn’t there at that time, he couldn’t visit too often and Maedhros felt a bit depressed by the constant onslaught of bad news. The political situation in Tirion was extremely tense and even if his uncles tried to stay out of it many were demanding that Fëanor was replaced by Fingolfin. And others were almost fuming when anyone mentioned this and the court was like a hornets nest. 

Saeriel was able to calm Maedhros down and made him see the ridiculous side of it all, and she was always on Lerina’s side and took her thoughts away from the vicious gossip. She knew that Maedhros and Lerina was married only on paper and that Fingon and Maedhros was bonded, but she didn’t judge anyone. She just found it tragic that they couldn’t express their love the way they wanted to.   
Some of the servants claimed to have seen someone sneaking around the property, someone tall and cloaked and as Maedhros was out riding one evening he was approached by a stranger that seemed nice and friendly enough but Maedhros didn’t like the questions he made about his father and his inventions. He told the stranger to look somewhere else for gossip and he got a sensation of danger when the ellon disappeared. This was not good at all.

Fêanor didn’t visit them anymore, he was busy with his work but he had sort of shut everybody out, he was constantly becoming more angry and resentful and they say that Melkor had showed up at his door asking for the silmarils and Fëanor had slammed his gate shut right in the vala’s face and called him a jail crow of Namo. Maedhros laughed when he heard it for it was so typical for his father but it also made him a bit frightened. Who knew what Melkor was capable of? 

The evenings were spent in the great living room with reading and games and Lerina enjoyed that a lot. Saeriel had managed to loosen her up and she would laugh and be just silly, and everybody saw how much more happy she was now. She didn’t care about the outside world any more, all that mattered was there, in the mansion. Fingon returned for a visit and they would sit and chat and drink and just enjoy life. Saeriel wasn’t a stranger to flirting and she did flirt with both the ner, rather shamelessly too. She didn’t mean anything with it in the beginning, it was just for fun and they would flirt back and just have fun but as the weeks passed the flirting somehow took a new turn. When it happened nobody knew but Saeriel was aware of the fact that even though both ner preferred other males they weren’t blind to the charms of a female, and she started to flirt for real. Why she didn’t know for she didn’t want to hurt Lerina, but both were so gorgeous and attractive and she was no maiden, she had felt the touch of a male before and being in this household made her ache for male company. Lerina was oblivious, she had long accepted that Maedhros would spend his nights with Fingon when he was there to visit and she was too innocent to realize what Saeriel was doing. It started as a few touches that were a bit more loaded with hidden feelings and when Lerina went to bed they would sit there and chat and the talk could become rather filled with sexual innuendo.   
But nothing happened for a long time. Fingon left and returned a few times and some thought that he came back because of Saeriel. And they didn’t do anything to stop those rumors, for they were in fact rather useful. Saeriel made sure that they were seen together in seemingly romantic situations and the servants did their best to spread the information too. Then one evening they had been playing cards and reading bad poetry and they had laughed and made jokes the whole evening. Maedhros had gotten a crate of wine bottles from his grandfather and the wine was very good and also very strong. They were a bit drunk and Lerina bid them a good night and went to bed. She wasn’t able to stay up for all that long and her head was aching already so she took some herbs to make her sleep and then she was sleeping like a log.

Saeriel had been drinking way too much, she was feeling that her head spun but she felt good, very good. She flirted with Fingon and Maedhros without shame and before long she was sitting on Fingon’s lap, kissing him. Fingon was participating eagerly and he knew that Maedhros didn’t care, in fact his lover found the sight rather arousing. Kisses became so much more and since they all were drunk they had no breaks left, before long she sat there with her gown down around her waist and Fingon was kissing her with hunger while Maedhros stood there behind her, fondling her breasts. Some small part of her brain managed to send a few confused signals about this being wrong but they didn’t reach their destination. She was too overcome with sheer desire to listen to what her brain at the moment defined as bullshit.   
They made a sort of very messy exodus towards the bedroom and Saeriel was a bit shocked by the fact that they all suddenly were naked but why care? She had never seen so beautiful ner as these two and she put her experience into use. Saeriel had tasted the joys of life before, she had never been one of those people who tried to deny her own natural desires and she was not ashamed of being a warm blooded nis with needs. She had bedded ner before but never two at the same time. Caresses and kisses were exchanged and nobody cared about who did what, it was all a haze of lust and pleasure and Saeriel was sure that this was heaven. She had Fingon first and Maedhros laid next to them watching, eyes dark with desire and the knowledge of him being there was very exciting. She did most certainly have her pleasure and Fingon did too, roaring as he came hard and Saeriel lost all ability to think. All she could do was feel and she did feel a lot.   
She had no idea of for how long they were at it, but it had to be hours, she watched the two ner take each other and it turned her on again and when they all were sated the sheets were a sticky mess and they were sweaty and covered with hickeys, fluids and spilled wine. Saeriel was feeling really sore by now, she had never had anyone as large as Maedhros before and even if she was experienced he was almost too much even for her. Fingon was the one who still had some thinking ability left. He got the other two out of the bed and threw the sheets into the hearth and burned them. Then he replaced them and made sure that they all took a quick bath in the adjacent bathroom before he helped Saeriel get back to her room. She was limping but her grin was broader than her face and Fingon felt silly and very sated too, he was still drunk and fell asleep the moment he got into the freshly made bed. 

Saeriel woke up rather late, the servants knew that there had been drinking and merry making so nobody had wanted to wake them up. She felt confused at first, then it dawned upon her and she felt a horrible mix of feelings. Oh Eru, she had slept with both Fingon and Maedhros? Her body did not lie, she felt as though she had been run over by a herd of horses and she was aching in places she didn’t even know she had. But it had been wonderful, it had been the experience of a lifetime, the only sad thing was that she had betrayed her aunt. She knew that Maedhros and Lerina wasn’t really married but she felt guilty nonetheless and she whimpered and pulled the sheets around herself. The memories of what she had done made her shudder in a mix of pleasure and shame and she got up and went to the bath. She soaked for a long time, thinking about what to do but there was really only one solution, She had to tell Lerina, there was no way around it.   
Saeriel got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast and was met by two extremely sheepish looking ner who did appear as if they had come fresh from some sort of very naughty battle which had included scratching and biting. Fingon blushed violently when he saw her and Maedhros bit his lower lip and looked worried. “Saeriel, uh, are you okay?”

Saeriel wasn’t so shaken she didn’t know how to answer, there were no servants present and Lerina hadn’t come down yet so she just made a small but obscene gesture. “ Oh yes, I am fine, better than fine, I just feel as if I have been mounted by a couple of stallions”

Fingon went beet red and Maedhros did in fact grin, a small and wry grin. “ If I do recall last night’s spectacular events I did warn you, you were told that there was a danger of you not being able to walk this morning”

Saeriel snorted. “ But I am walking, see?”

She took a few steps and groaned a bit. “ Not well mind you but I am mobile, not crippled”

Fingon laughed. “ Oh yes, you were more than mobile last night, damn it, you are agile. When you were sucking me and Maedhros was…”

There was footsteps heard and Saeriel cringed, she didn’t really remember that situation or wait a minute, now she did, no wonder her jaw muscles were aching. Lerina entered, she did look great as always and Maedhros straightened his collar to hide some very tell tale signs of last night’s escapades. Fingon did the same and Lerina didn’t notice, she had regained her appetite and she was chatting away in her usual sweet way about the prospect of a hunting trip. She didn’t notice that the others were rather quiet and Saeriel managed to eat at least some, darn it, she was hung over like heck and she could see that the two ner was in no better shape. She gathered her courage and took Lerina’s hand. “ Lerina dear, there is…there is something I would like to tell you, could you meet me in the garden in a few minutes?”

Lerina nodded, a little puzzled and Saeriel finished a cup of very strong tea. Maedhros stared at her, his eyes were a bit sad and he did look ashamed. “Do…do break it to her gently? I have no idea of how she will react. Oh Eru, we shouldn’t have…”

Saeriel took a deep breath to braze herself. “You are right, we shouldn’t, but we have, and now we have to face the consequences.”

She walked out into the small garden and Lerina was already waiting, she was admiring some very nice roses and Saeriel bit her lower lip, now how was she to say this? I am sorry but I slept with your husband who by the way isn’t really your husband? Lerina smiled “ You look as if you drank a lot last night, I cannot recall any of you looking this worn out.”

Saeriel made a grimace. Worn out, yes indeed. “ Ah, well, that is what I am here to tell you about, it is a bit awkward…”

Lerina raised an eyebrow. “Did you break something?”

Saeriel winced. “ No, Eru no. Ah, well, the thing is…”

She discovered that she was in fact stuttering and she pinched her own arm to calm down. “We were very drunk last night as I am sure you already know and to make a rather shameful story short, I slept with both of them”

Lerina just gaped, her expression one of disbelief. “ What? With both Fingon and Maedhros?! No wonder you look the way you do, oh Eru!”

Saeriel felt like crawling into a small hole. “ You are not mad at us?”

Lerina sighed, she seemed to be working with her feelings. “No, I am not mad, it isn’t as if I am married for real now is it? And if it was alright with Maedhros and Fingon I don’t see anything wrong with it. Just don’t let anyone know”

Saeriel let out a huge sigh of relief. “Praise the valar, I was afraid you would explode on me”

Lerina shook her head. “No way, I am so grateful I have you Saeriel, you are my best friend and I do think you deserve some fun.” 

Saeriel had to giggle. “ Fun, that is a way to describe it for sure.”

Lerina did feel a surge of some unidentifiable feeling, a sort of jealousy. She would never be that bold, or that unrestrained. Her past would always throw a dark shadow onto her life and she managed to make a wry smirk. “So, how was it? “

Saeriel giggled. “ I cannot describe it, it was…a bit too much at times but I am still alive” 

Lerina dragged her niece over to a bench and Saeriel had to tell about the night in details, she felt embarrassed but she sort of understood that Lerina in fact needed to hear it. If she ever was to find true love she couldn’t be afraid of it, and Saeriel was hell bent upon breaking down the walls of fear Lerina’s mother had created around the nis soul. 

Maedhros and Fingon went for a ride in the woods and discussed this turn of events and they came to the conclusion that they didn’t mind adding Saeriel to their relationship if she wanted to. They were confident enough and trusted each other and Saeriel had become a dear friend to them both. Every harvest there used to be a huge party celebrated in honor of the crops and for many days everybody was busy with the preparations and Lerina was trying to learn how to bake some new cakes and the atmosphere was good. The celebration went well and Maedhros sent some fruit to his father and his brothers and knew that the gifts would be much appreciated. His brother Curufin came visiting with his son Celebrimbor and Lerina was very taken by the somewhat shy boy with the obvious talent. She had started to feel a bit sorry she hadn’t dared to really marry Maedhros, her body was fully grown now and that of a shapely nis. In fact she had more shapes than most nis and she was a bit proud of it. If her mother had seen her now she would have fainted, convinced that her daughter had grown fat!

Saeriel didn’t want to return to her home yet and she wrote and claimed that Lerina still was a bit “frail” and needed “female company”. She didn’t mention why and she just snickered knowing that this would trigger a whole landslide of speculations. The relationship between her and the two ner continued from now on, she often spent the night with them and it was always amazing but it did make her feel a bit sad in Lerina’s behalf. She didn’t appear to wish for such pleasures at all even when Saeriel tried to convince her of the joy one could have in bed. Saeriel even went to the library of Tirion and came back with a bunch of books of a very adult nature. There were illustrations and explanations and Lerina almost swooned when she saw them. She did giggle though, and proclaimed that her mother would have thought that those books were the work of the dark one. Saeriel knew that Lerina’s parents had a very cold relationship, they had probably only been in bed together to produce their children and Saeriel was sure that it had to have been the worst sex ever. Lerina’s dad did constantly look as if he was trying to suck the last juice out of a really sour lemon and Lerina’s mother walked as if her knees were glued together. 

The year went by slowly, the days were filled with peace and joy and there in their little world they didn’t care about the situation elsewhere. Fingon did return to his father and stayed there for months at a time and Lerina was suddenly twice as glad Saeriel was there as before. She had noticed that Maedhros often grew restless and frustrated when Fingon was away and now Saeriel did sate his need for physical contact. Lerina had been thinking hard and she knew she wasn’t jealous, she did think that he was handsome and beautiful but she couldn’t think of him as her husband, not in the true meaning of the word. He was like a brother to her and the idea of him doing the same things to her as he was to Saeriel was just wrong. 

Lerina had gotten more and more confidence, she was acting like a true lady and when they had visitors she was the perfect hostess and was able to relax. Nerdanel came by a few times and she was impressed by the way her law daughter had changed. She had been so afraid that Lerina would fade from the attack but she had managed to rise above it and Nerdanel suspected that Lerina in fact was one incredibly tough nis. She tried to find out if Lerina had any talents and found out that she in fact was very good at painting. Soon she had persuaded Maedhros into making one of the spare rooms into a small studio and Lerina was overjoyed by the opportunity to create on her own.

Her paintings soon became sought after and Maedhros praised her and told her that he was very proud. Things did seem to calm down in Tirion as well, the vicious spreading of rumors had stopped and the maiar were busy removing the dark influence they had spread. They had sort of understood that the piousness the vanyar were so fond of in fact had a very nasty side effect, prejudice and an elitist way of thinking and they went to work trying to reverse that effect. The vanyar were of course less than happy because it removed their right to gloat and Finwë sent some letters describing some rather bizarre situations.

At the mansion thing suddenly changed and it was very unexpected and caused some serious shocks. Lerina was busy painting a huge picture of Oromë and Nahar when Saeriel came walking, she was a bit grey and her eyes were dark. Lerina put the brush down and stared at her niece, something was clearly wrong. Fingon had returned to them and had stayed for a few weeks and everybody had seemed so very happy so she didn’t understand what it was that could have made Saeriel so upset. “What is it?”

Saeriel sat down, she had a peculiar expression on her face. “ Oh Lerina, I am in trouble, I am in such trouble!”

Lerina frowned. “What are you talking about?” 

Saeriel made a weird sound, between a sob and laughter. “ I…I have a bun in the oven Lerina”

Lerina frowned. “ Uh?”

Saeriel sighed and rolled her eyes. “Oh for Manwë’s sake nis, I am pregnant!”

Lerina gasped and now she had to sit down. “ But…you are not bonded? How can a fêa be conceived without the parents being bonded?” 

Saeriel moaned. “It shouldn’t be possible, I know! But there is a lot of bullshit being told right? We all know that you don’t automatically bond if you sleep with someone, that only happens if there is real love between them.”

Lerina was shocked. “ Yes, but still…”

Saeriel groaned. “Listen, do you think all those vanyar marriages are based on love? And yet some of them breed like rabbits, heck, they aren’t even allowed to enjoy making babies!”

Lerina swallowed, she leaned back. “Uh, you are right. So, what…”

Saeriel sobbed. “ I have no idea! Oh Eru, I don’t even know who the father is, that is a first among the eldar right? They have both filled my womb with their essence many times, it could be both really”

Lerina took a deep breath. “ Alright, now, you are blond, and your entire family are blond too. Maedhros is a redhead, and it runs in his family. Fingon is dark, and his entire family is dark also, so you will probably know when the baby is born”

Saeriel wrung her hands. “ I will know if the baby is a redhead yes, but if it is dark? Maedhros has a dark father and his brothers are dark too, except Celegorm!”

Lerina bit her lower lip and she started to realize that this indeed was quite a dilemma. “Have you told them?”

Saeriel shook her head. “No, I wasn’t sure until this morning, I have puked for a few days, and my breasts are aching too.”

Lerina reached out and stroked her niece’s hair, she felt a strange sort of strength starting to build up within. Now it was her turn to help, to be the supportive one. “I will get them here, we will figure this out for sure.”

She got up and asked a servant to bring the two and Saeriel sobbed and gasped. “ I am not married! And my parents will die from shame if they find out.”

Lerina could only continue petting the soft golden hair until Maedhros and Fingon arrived. Both got a frightened expression on their faces when they saw that Saeriel was crying, they sat down and Maedhros was a bit pale. “ Is something wrong? Has someone told you to return home or something?”

Saeriel keened. “ No!”

She was sniffing and sobbing and Lerina took a deep breath. “She is pregnant, one of you is the father.” 

There was a deep silence, you could have heard a flea fart. Fingon looked absolutely shocked and Maedhros was just staring. “So, what do you suggest we do?” 

Lerina was a bit hard on them now but she knew she had to be, if they were to avoid a terrible scandal they had to think fast. Saeriel would be an outcast if anyone found out about this. Not only was she unmarried but one of the potential fathers was already married. That was what could only be described as a recipe for a scandal of epic proportions and a shitload of gossip. Maedhros swallowed hard and he blinked and Fingon made a sort of low wailing sound. “Oh Saeriel, we are so sorry, we have ruined everything”

Lerina stared at them. “There is only one way to solve this and I hope you do agree”

They all stared at her, shocked by the mature strength of her voice. “If the baby is a redhead there can be no doubt about the parentage but also a dark baby could be fathered by Maedhros. I know the two of you have given up on the idea of having an heir since you both are male, but this could be the one opportunity you get. I suggest that we pretend that the baby is mine, I can pretend to be with child and then the child will be regarded as mine and Maedhros”

Maedhros just blinked and Fingon looked heartbroken. “And if it is mine? Do I have to let my son or daughter be raised by someone else?!”

His voice was very sore and Maedhros embraced him. “ No, the child will be ours, do you hear me, ours! But we have to keep up a normal façade, understand?”

Fingon nodded, swallowing hard. “ I understand, you are the one with a wife, the one who can become a father without anyone becoming suspicious.”

Saeriel gasped. “ Oh Eru, I am so sorry. But I agree, I cannot return home as an unwed mother, it is impossible.” 

Lerina embraced her. “Do you think you are able to give up the child when the day comes? To let me become it’s mother?”

Saeriel nodded. “ You will become a wonderful mother Lerina, better than me”

Maedhros got an odd expression on his face. “ We are to become fathers, do you hear Fin? If this isn’t wonderful news I do not know what fits into the description” 

Fingon nodded slowly. “Yes, it will be ours”

Lerina clapped her hands. “ Wonderful, but we have work to do. I have to get my dresses changed so I look pregnant and we need a silvery wig so Saeriel can be seen from a distance, acting as me. And the family has to be informed too.” 

Maedhros looked a bit as if he was in doubt. “ I think we will hold a low profile for a while, if we say you are afraid of a miscarriage they will understand that you stay here all the time and I can claim that you are quite unwell and too weak for visitors”

Lerina nodded. “ I can play ill if anyone shows up. So, we keep our mouths shut for a few months, then we drop the big news”

Saeriel was trembling a bit. “ What about the servants? “

Maedhros bit his lower lip. “ We will tell them a white lie, they are very loyal to my family and I will simply tell them that this was something we have planned. That Lerina indeed is infertile and that Saeriel has agreed upon carrying a child for her and me”

Lerina cringed. “ Oh, that is controversial, but they will believe it. Your family are after all well known for being a bit untraditional”

Maedhros stared at Saeriel, she was still in tears. “ Worry not dear, I will make sure that we get a very good midwife for you and a healer too. We will take good care of you”

Saeriel nodded. “ I do not doubt that Nelyo, but I am scared”

Maedhros and Fingon both hugged her. “ That is just natural, but it will be alright.” 

Lerina sighed. “ Let us hope that you are right, we have to start preparing right away. If our little game is to be played well we have to do everything right. “ 

 

And so the servants were being told the little lie and they swore to keep their mouths shut. Most had already figured out the nature of the relationship between Fingon and the master of the house but they were born in Ennor and didn’t regard it as wrong at all. Saeriel was being fed the best possible food and they got her clothes that would fit and a wig that made her look like Lerina from a distance. The two nissi were the same height and build so the illusion was probably a good idea.   
Saeriel soon discovered that this was no easy thing, she was constantly sick and she felt depressed and scared and now Lerina had the job of cheering someone up. She kept them both busy with making baby clothing and reading about the care of infants and she started to look forward to the birth. Saeriel on the other hand did not, in fact she was mortified and Lerina didn’t even mention the fact that the baby had to come out. After five months Maedhros sent a letter to his father and grandfather and Nerdanel, telling of the happy news and explaining that Lerina was too fragile to be visited. It took two days before Nerdanel arrived, and she was immediately told the truth. At first she was in utter shock but then she realized that this probably was the only way the two ner could become father’s and accepted it. In fact she swore to help them hide the truth. This could be her grandchild and she understood the situation perfectly well. So she prepared to spread the news and make sure that nobody discovered their little deceit. She was there for a few weeks and Lerina was very grateful for the support, Nerdanel would visit when the due date got closer and she knew that both Saeriel and herself would need the help of an experienced mother to deal with it all. There was a room prepared, clothes and equipment and the atmosphere of tense anticipation was soon to be felt by everyone.

Lerina was envious of Saeriel to begin with, then she changed her mind, Saeriel did not have an easy pregnancy at all and she was terrified she would end up as Miriel. The midwife had come to live there until the birth and she tried to calm her down but it didn’t really work. Lerina was the one keeping her spirits up now, taking her for walks, massaging her feet, even helping her wash and stay clean. As Saeriel got larger that became almost impossible for her, she couldn’t bend down, couldn’t sleep on her side and felt like a stranded whale. Maedhros and Fingon were terribly nervous and tried to be as supportive as possible but Saeriel didn’t always appreciate their efforts. Like most pregnant women she was prone to sudden changes in her mood and she could explode and claim that they were patronizing and then the next moment she accused them of being insensitive and uncaring.

Lerina on the other hand managed to keep it all together, she took care of the household, of Saeriel and the two ner and she really grew with the task. It was rather obvious to everybody that she finally was coming into her own and she soon started to adopt Saeriels rather salty language too. She wasn’t demure or shy anymore, instead she had become willful and determined and Maedhros found that he had married a nis who was more than capable of taking care of things. She really had come a long way since their wedding day. They made sure that some travelling merchants and others saw Saeriel wearing Lerina’s clothes and the wig and Nerdanel too did her best, soon everybody knew that Maedhros wife was expecting their first child and some of the rumors started to die down. 

People had more enough of other things to gossip about, they said that Melkor had been seen lurking around Fëanor’s home several times and that Manwë had spoken to him and told him to behave. Fingolfin and Finarfin had visited the coast for a while, they said it was to enjoy the fresh sea air but everybody knew the real reason. They wanted to get away from their half brother and his constant and terrible accusations. Finwë stood there in the middle, trying to negotiate between them but to no prevail and the queen drowned herself in charity work and prayer so that she didn’t have to confront anyone. 

Saeriel got huge, she sent letters to her parents telling of how Lerina was faring when it in reality was she who went through a minor hell and they all bought her explanations. After all, the high king had ordered her to look after her aunt and even though she had been there for years by now a few years is nothing for an elf. And the letters she got back were nice and her parents were so proud of her for being such a caring person and so dedicated to her poor aunt. The last month Saeriel didn’t even leave the bed except from trips to the privy, she was so heavy she had problems moving and she was in constant pain. Her back was aching, her feet too and her pelvis had started causing her great discomfort. She could not walk and had to be carried and she was in tears since she felt as though she had become a terrible burden to everybody. Nerdanel returned and she recognized the aches and pains from her own births, Maedhros had been a huge baby and she was feeling relatively sure that the baby was his,   
The midwife had managed to find a due date, and Saeriel went past it, not with a few days but with two whole weeks. She had almost stopped eating and she was getting weaker so the midwife was considering giving her herbs that would make her go into labor. Fortunately that wasn’t needed, Lerina was awakened in the very early hours of the morning by a frantic Nerdanel who was wearing a nightdress and a robe and nothing more. Saeriel had gone into labor, and it soon became very apparent that this wouldn’t be a quick birth. In fact it moved forth at a snail’s pace and the water didn’t break until early in the afternoon. By then Saeriel was hysterical with fear and Lerina tried to calm her down but to no prevail. Saeriel wasn’t the kind of person who handled pain very well, some do endure and do it silently too but Saeriel was the kind of person who can take a lot of verbal abuse and stand up for herself but she wasn’t able to control herself now. She was convinced she was going to die and as the contractions started for real she reached a level of hysteria that was frightening.

The two ner had to stay downstairs, males were not allowed in a birthing chamber but they heard Saeriel screaming and both were close to passing out. The midwife was a very stern nis, she had delivered hundreds of babies and she knew everything about how people respond to agony so she didn’t really treat Saeriel with softness. Instead she demanded that she stopped yelling and concentrated upon doing her job and it worked for a while. Being scolded always made Saeriel angry and that made her suck it up but it didn’t really last.

The midwife did confirm Nerdanel’s suspicions, it was a very large baby and Saeriel was slender with narrow hips. She would have a hard job pushing it out and her state of mind didn’t exactly help her. The midwife gave Saeriel some herbal tea with soothing effect and also some pills that made people feel a bit indifferent about their situation. It did help, things were speeding up and they got her into a birthing chair. Lerina was aghast, she hadn’t really believed that anyone could survive so much pain and Saeriel was swearing and cursing worse than a sailor. “ Oh Eru’s balls! That something so fucking good can result in something so….aaaaaghhh…terrible!”

The midwife just grinned, she had been told the truth and she didn’t judge anyone, she had seen too much to really care. “If you are in the game you must be able to handle the consequences sweetie, push now, and keep pushing” 

Saeriel was yelling from the top of her lungs, and she did have strong lungs so the entire mansion heard her. She was making progress, the chair was made so that the nis was sitting up straight leaning slightly forward grasping onto the chair and gravity did help a lot. The midwife was pleased but Saeriel complained about everything and Nerdanel was rolling her eyes. Some of the young nissi were way too protected and uneducated. 

It was dawn again before it was over and by then Saeriel was so tired she didn’t even scream, she just grunted and the midwife had to push onto her stomach to help her get the baby out. Lerina was holding her breath as the midwife grasped the infant and pulled it free from it’s mother’s body, she was grinning. “ Look, it is a girl! A big healthy girl, and look at that hair!”

The baby had a huge mane of red hair and Nerdanel let out a shout of joy. Saeriel was panting and sweating and still in pain. The midwife washed the baby and wrapped it and Nerdanel held her while the midwife helped Saeriel deliver the afterbirth and sewed her up since she had gotten torn pretty bad. Then they told the ner they could enter and both did, very nervously and rather in awe. They had both believed that Saeriel had to be dead by now since she had screamed that bad.

Nerdanel held the baby, she was beaming with pride and Maedhros saw that bloated red little face and the tuft of red hair and started weeping right away. Fingon just held him quite in awe of the miracle. “ Oh Eru, is it…”

Nerdanel smiled and handed the baby over to her father, very gently. “It is a girl, a very healthy girl”

Lerina saw that love in Maedhros eyes, the absolutely stunned expression on his face and Fingon was sheading some tears too. Maedhros already loved his daughter and Lerina felt a bit humble. Nerdanel turned towards Saeriel, she looked a bit sad. “You are still ready to give her up?”

Saeriel nodded. She was weeping but her eyes were stern. “ Yes, I have to, there is no other way. She will be presented as the daughter of Maedhros and Lerina.”

Nerdanel sighed. “You are brave Saeriel, not many could have done this. Bless you. But at least you ought to pick a name, she ought to have something of yours.”

Saeriel sighed and closed her eyes, she was completely exhausted and needed to rest but she had to do this first. She stared at the baby and smiled. “She is Ariniel, daughter of the morning, since she was born at dawn” 

Nerdanel smiled. “ A good name, a wise choice” 

Maedhros kissed the forehead of his grunting daughter and wiped away some tears. “Welcome Ariniel, and know that you are most precious, and very loved” 

Lerina got to hold Ariniel next and she immediately fell in love with the infant, for all that it was worth, she would be her mother and protector and she would protect this child with all of her might, for all time. She had a strange feeling that it would be needed.


	7. Darkness fell and sorrow sang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melkor's devious plan has been put into action, will Lerina and her Family be able to pull through?

Chapter seven: Darkness fell and sorrow sang….

Ariniel was a quiet child, and one that was easy to care for. Saeriel tried to handle her daughter as little as possible and Lerina was the one to bathe and carry her and speak to her. Her real mother was only there when the babe needed food and as soon as she no longer relied upon her mother’s milk for sustenance Saeriel stayed away from the baby. It hurt her terribly but there was no other way. Maedhros was beside himself with pride and joy and proved to be a terrific father and Fingon also loved the little nis with all of his heart. 

Saeriel slowly returned to her old self physically, she got her figure back and her laugher too but there was a sadness in her now. Lerina did understand, and she wished so badly that things were different but nothing could change the way it all had turned out. Ariniel grew fast, she was a large baby and everybody who came to visit was shocked by the idea of her being born by Lerina. Lerina had to pretend to be frail still, to be exhausted and injured by a hard birth and Nerdanel was there all the time and made sure that she never gave herself away. The two nissi became even better friends now and the child brought them together and they formed almost a sort of mother daughter bond that gave Lerina a lot more self-confidence. Elf children grow extremely fast their first year and Ariniel was no exception, by one year of age she was crawling around and on the verge of walking and she could talk and sing too. Lerina was spending all her spare time with the girl, teaching her all sorts of things and to the little one Lerina was mother. Saeriel was an aunt and Nerdanel was grandma. It was good this way. Then Saeriel received a letter from home, they wanted her to return for there was a possible suitor and Saeriel did almost get hysterical. She knew that her body showed what she had been through, she had stretch marks and her breasts were heavier than before and her hips too had changed. 

She could of course hide these things for her family, after all, the fashion demanded rather tight dresses that didn’t show much skin and she could wear a corset and just claim that she had put on weight but to a ner who expected to see her naked the changes would be obvious. And so there was just one thing to do. Saeriel wrote a polite letter to her parents explaining that she already had a suitor and that she had agreed upon a betrothal being announced soon. Fingon didn’t need much time to think of it, in this way he too could have a child of his own one day and nobody would suspect anything if the two couples stayed together much of the time, after all, their wives were related and very good friends. Saeriels parents were beside themselves with joy, a son of a noldorin prince, it was a huge leap upwards when it came to social status. The betrothal was celebrated with a lot of pomp and circumstance and Lerina was there, holding little Ariniel and acting like a very proud mother indeed. She did see herself as Ariniel’s mother, as her caretaker and protector and everybody were impressed by her skills and dedication. 

Saeriel and Fingon got married early the year after and it was a beautiful wedding too. Fëanor didn’t attend to it, he was so hostile against everybody of his brother’s family they barely dared to invite him. Finwë was terribly sad but there was little anybody could do about it, Fëanor had become very paranoid and hostile and Nerdanel feared for his sanity. Saeriel and Fingon got their own home and Maedhros and Lerina often visited them there, and Ariniel loved it there. The girl became a very boisterous little rascal who reminded Maedhros of his youngest brothers and she did keep Lerina busy much of the time. They hired the best teachers and made sure that she never had to worry about anything and Lerina knew that Maedhros only regretted that she would be an only child. Maglor got married too, to another musician and Lerina did notice that things were changing in Tirion. There were less gossip being heard and things seemed to have cooled down a lot. 

Lerina knew it was thanks to a combined effort made by both Finwë and Ingwë, the vanyar seemed to become more moderate by the day and the harsh piousness wasn’t seen in public anymore. Lerina was even at court a few times, she no longer feared it and everybody was in awe of little Ariniel and forgot about her. Ariniel was a very beautiful child, her hair darker than her father’s and more like that of Nerdanel and she was going to be tall and slender no doubt. Things seemed to be going well, to be peaceful and good and for years Lerina relaxed more and more and forgot about her fears and doubts. Fingon and Saeriel didn’t have any kids yet, Saeriel wanted to wait a little longer for she still remembered the very tough birth she had been through and she was afraid of facing yet another situation like that.

Then Fëanor appeared at court, threatening his half brother with a sword and the valar demanded that he went into exile and stayed in Formenos. Lerina knew it was to the north, far from Tirion and not at all as nice but he didn’t protest and Maedhros somehow managed to convince Lerina that they too had to go there, to show their support. Lerina thought that Fêanor had gone insane but he was Maedhros father and it would look odd if she didn’t follow her husband and so they went. Ariniel was excited to see a new place, she was sitting in the saddle in front of her father and laughing and pointing at everything and Lerina tried to stay calm but she had a nasty lump in her throat. She had a sense of foreboding, of something being very wrong indeed. Finwë left the throne to Fingolfin and followed his son to Formenos and Lerina didn’t really know why. Could he really love that one son more than the other two? Or was it just because he thought the valar overreacted? 

Formenos wasn’t bad, it was a smaller city than Tirion, colder and darker and more primitive but not unpleasant and she and Ariniel would explore the palace and its surroundings and play hide and seek on the fields while the ner discussed the situation and what they thought ought to be done. To Lerina it was obvious that Fëanor was suffering, that his genius was tipping over towards madness and that his grasp on reality was slipping away. She sensed that he was right when he claimed that the dark vala wanted to ruin everything and she suspected that he had tried to hide his tracks by first and foremost attacking the one elf capable of stopping him. And doing it in such a manner that nobody would think he was behind it. 

They grew accustomed to Formenos and Lerina in fact learned to love it, it had a sort of rustic charm Tirion missed and here there was no court and no unneeded splendor. The servants and the high born treated each other with an informality that was refreshing and Ariniel found new friends among the elflings there and thrived. She was a little too mature for her age though, less prone to laughter and mischief than the others and more fond of books and lore. She did take after her grandsire and Lerina was a bit nervous that she would be seen as a misfit. But she encouraged Ariniel’s thirst for knowledge and Maedhros tried to support her too. Then a message came, the valar wanted Fëanor to return to Tirion, to talk things over with his half brother. They wanted the conflict to end, to bring peace among the noldor and stop the constant arguing of whether or not Fëanor ought to be first in line to the throne. At first Fëanor hesitated but then he left and his sons stayed behind, he wanted them out of harm’s way if this was some sort of trap. Lerina felt a terrible sinking feeling in her gut as she watched him leave, why she did not know. The other women present also felt it and she was comforted by Maglor’s wife and Curufin’s too. 

Lerina and Maedhros had rooms high in a tower and it was far from the main part of the palace, it was peaceful and cozy and they had gone to bed late after some wine and a game of cards. Maedhros had matured a lot since he became a father and he was very considerate towards Lerina and showed a lot of affection. She was very fond of him and regarded their little family as a very happy one although unconventional. The curtains were thin here in Formenos, the light from the trees very weak and so they didn’t need thick heavy drapes as they did in Tirion to keep the rooms dark. When Lerina woke up it was to complete darkness, and at first she didn’t understand. She thought someone had pulled the curtains over the window and used some really thick ones too for there wasn’t even a hint of light. Then she remembered that the curtains had been open when they went to bed and she felt how cold dread started seeping into her bones. She heard distant sounds, terrible sounds and the darkness made it hard to breathe, to think. Maedhros was still asleep next to her and she grasped onto him, shook him almost violently. “ Wake up, please, wake up”

He grunted and turned around, then he gasped and she felt him grasp onto her. “Lerina, why is it dark?”

She just shivered and reached out of the bed, found her coat and a lamp. The lamps Fëanor had made would give light all the time and she ignited it swiftly, Maedhros got out of bed and he looked horrified. There were screams heard from the courtyard and suddenly they heard Ariniel screaming too. Maedhros gasped. “Lerina, look after Ariniel, I will go to check what this is”

Lerina ran to Ariniel’s room, it was adjacent to their own and the little nis was hiding under the covers, screaming like mad. Lerina realized that her daughter never had experienced real darkness, no wonder she was scared. She held the lamp high and Ariniel dared to peek out from under the covers. “Little one, it is alright, look, I am here”

Ariniel was at the stage of life where she had started to grow a little faster now, there would still be a few decades before she hit puberty but she wasn’t really a child anymore, more of a very young youth. Still she needed her parents and she blinked and wiped tears from her eyes. “Nana, I had a terrible dream” 

Lerina grasped her and held her tight. “I am so sorry to hear that dear, but it is over now, I am here” 

Ariniel gasped and sobbed. “Why is it dark? Is it cloudy outside?” 

Lerina tried to smile. “No sweetheart, your atya is going to find out why it is dark, worry not, I am sure everything is fine” 

Maedhros had thrown a cloak over his sleeping pants, and he ran downstairs to find absolute chaos. Elves were running everywhere, trying to find their loved ones or trying to understand what had happened and it was clear that the light from the trees was gone. Only the stars provided light now and lamps and candles were in high demand. Maedhros felt a cold sensation of dread, and he just knew that evil was near, or had been near. He stood there confused and not knowing what to do when Maglor and Curufin came running, both were pale and visibly shaken and Maglor panted for air. “Nelyo, grandfather is dead!”

Maedhros couldn’t believe it. “What?!”

Curufin had tears running down his face. “ Melkor, Melkor was here, and he took the Silmarills. They say there was a shadow following him, in the form of a giant spider, it was ghastly”

Maedhros ran, he ran towards the main rooms of the palace even if Maglor and Curufin tried to stop him and he didn’t slow down until he reached the chambers that the king had lived in. Finwë laid on the floor, in a pool of his own blood and his dark blue eyes were fixed on the ceiling, and they were empty. Maedhros let out a sob, then a wail. It looked as if his grandfather’s chest had been crushed and he felt the taste of bile in his mouth, He had never seen a dead elf before, nobody born in Aman had. He backed away, nausea and dread overwhelming him and he felt as if the ground had gone from underneath his feet. Melkor, the dark vala had been behind it all. 

Maglor came, helped him get out. “ I have sent a hawk to atya, and to the valar. They need to know what Melkor have done.” 

Maedhros was still too much in a state of shock to really think, he just sobbed and he couldn’t imagine how Fëanor would react to this news. He would be devastated. Maglor smacked him across his cheeks. “Nelyo, get a grip. Lerina needs you, I bet she is terrified.” 

Maedhros nodded slowly. “Yes, yes, I…will go now”

 

Lerina had waited with Ariniel and she immediately knew that Maedhros had bad news. He sat down on the bed as if he couldn’t carry his own weight and his eyes were hazy and he had cried. “Lerina….Finwë is dead. Melkor has killed him, and taken the Silmarils”

Lerina felt cold to the marrow, held Ariniel tight and the girl let out a wail of grief and Maedhros sobbed and grasped onto them both, pulled them close. Lerina had been fond of Finwê, he had been a friend and given her a support she had greatly appreciated. This was terrible news but what terrified her most was that the beast which killed her husband’s grandfather had been in this palace while her family slept. That almost made her throw up. Melkor could have slain them all, even her daughter and she shivered and held onto Ariniel tightly. She was not going to let her daughter suffer because of this, she had to protect the innocent by all means. “What will happen now?” 

Maedhros groaned. “Maglor has sent a hawk, they will probably get here soon.”

Lerina swallowed. “It is dark, can they really ride hard now?” 

He nodded. “The horses sees well enough.” 

Lerina felt dizzy and Ariniel sobbed. Maedhros caressed her thick red hair lovingly and Lerina knew that he would have challenged Melkor himself if he had tried to harm that child. And so would she. They just sat there, in shock and disbelief until some servants came with food and some wine. Everybody was shaken and Maglor came next, his voice broken and hoarse. They had moved Finwë’s body, but the blood didn’t come out of the carpet, it would have to be burned. Maedhros just listened without saying a word and Lerina knew he was scared and angry and terribly shocked. Nobody had been murdered there before, it was simply too much. 

After a while Maedhros managed to pull himself together, he gathered his brothers and they organized everything so that people had light and warmth. The temperature had started to drop and the darkness made everybody confused. Without the cycle of golden and silver light and the mingling to tell the time nobody really knew what time it was. There was no golden morning or silvery dusk, just darkness. The stars was something Ariniel found extremely fascinating and she stood on the balustrade for a long time, admiring them. Lerina too thought they were spectacular but it made her very worried. The darkness couldn’t last now could it?   
Maedhros found them after the meeting with his brothers, he looked grim and determined and he sat down and took her hand firmly. “Lerina, we have to prepare for the worst. I have no idea what the Valar will do now but this darkness will affect everything, I have ordered that the food will be rationed and that people make lists of their livestock and prepare to cull off the animals they don’t need for breeding”

Lerina gasped. “ Why?”

Maedhros smiled, a sad little smile. “Without light the crops will fail, and the trees will die, and the wild animals will starve.”

Lerina was silent for a while, starvation? No! She would rather starve to death than letting Ariniel suffer thus. She knew what starvation was, she could endure it. “I refuse to let Ariniel suffer, there has to be anything the valar can do!”

Maedhros sighed. “I bet they will try, but when? Even they cannot snap a miracle out of thin air. We have no idea yet of what have happened to the trees. If they are gone or ruined, then what?”

Lerina wanted to break down and cry, but she couldn’t. She had to stay strong. “We will manage, somehow we will manage”

Maedhros kissed her cheek. “ I pray you are right.”

They ate and tried to rest but it was so terribly hard, neither of them managed to relax and they just kept staring at the lamps, as if they offered some sort of salvation. Ariniel was spending time with the other elflings, some nissi had arranged for the young ones to be gathered in some very safe and well light rooms where some story tellers tried to keep their minds occupied. Lerina was grateful and the elves who did the storytelling had been born in the old world and knew about the stars and so they weren’t afraid. It helped the children a lot. Maedhros had explained to her that many had freaked out completely, had lost their minds and injured themselves. The healers were working double time and many were not able to calm down even after having been given strong sedatives. It was the shock of witnessing darkness that caused it, those born in the blessed realm were unable to fathom what darkness really was, and their minds just couldn’t cope. 

Some had set fire to things, desperate for light, others had gotten burned from trying to light too many lamps and not being able to control all the flames. It was chaos on a grand scale and it didn’t just affect the elves. The animals too acted in a weird way and Celegorm had to bring Huan indoors in order to stop the dog from howling the whole time.   
Then Fëanor and many others from Tirion arrived upon sweaty horses, riding like they had the devil at their heels. Fëanor rushed inside, face pale and eyes too black, too wide. “My sons!”

Maedhros stopped him. “We are fine atya, all of us are fine, the nissi and the children too. He…he only…harmed your father”

Fëanor let out a weird sound, Lerina had never heard an elf making such a noise before, it was horrible and he pushed Maedhros aside and ran into the room where Finwës body was kept. Lerina heard Fëanor scream, a horrible wail of grief and anger and then she heard the sound of things being smashed and roars that sounded like those of a wounded animal. Maedhros and the rest rushed in but their father ran past them, and Lerina would never forget the look upon his face, one of sheer madness. He ran into the darkness and the others who had arrived tried to understand what they just had seen. Fingolfin and Finarfin entered the room, both were crying and Lerina felt terribly sorry for them both. Their sisters were not there and neither was the queen, they probably had to stay behind for their own safety. 

Fingolfin sobbed and Maedhros saw that Fingon was among those who had come, he was pale and held his panting horse by the reins. He walked over and Fingon sent him a very shivering smile. “Cousin, I wish we could have met again under different circumstances”

Maedhros nodded, he wanted to pull Fingon into a hug, to hold him tight but he couldn’t, not publicly. “So do I, what happened, why is it dark?”

Fingon sighed, he looked tired. “Melkor, he brought a terrible ancient power with him, one of utter darkness in the shape of a spider. And it bit the trees Nelyo, it drained them of sap and poisoned them and Yavanna is unable to do anything. They are dead!”

Maedhros felt a sinking feeling in his gut, oh Eru no! “Then what are we to do?!”

Fingon swallowed hard. “ I do not know, nobody knows. The valar have all gone to Taniquetil and stay there and it is chaos everywhere. It is awful!”

Maedhros closed his eyes. “Saeriel?” 

Fingon tried to smile. “She is strong, but scared. Very scared.”

Maedhros sighed. “As are we all” 

 

The newly arrived stabled their horses and got rooms and food and the mood was very somber indeed. Fingolfin and Finarfin stayed by Finwës body for hours, praying and mourning and some nissi came and washed it and tried to make him look less dead. There had to be a funeral. It was decided that it was to be held in Tirion, that Finwë’s body was to be brought home one final time and everybody agreed. But Fëanor was nowhere to be found and so the next days were spent searching for him. Lerina was busy running the household, trying to keep everybody fed and warm and safe. Outside the flowers were dying, the grass withered and the forest looked like a terrible place without the light of the trees.

They kept searching for a long time before they found Fëanor, he was almost completely out of his mind, unable to form a coherent sentence and only slowly did he recover. Everybody left Formenos for Tirion now and the huge group of elves did sing laments as they rode. Lerina found it utterly beautiful but also horribly sad. Fêanor was regaining his senses, and with it his anger. It was as if a veil had been lifted from his mind and his sharp intellect released anew but there was a flame of anger in him, of pure hatred and it burned so hot you could see it in his eyes. It made Lerina terribly afraid.

When they arrived in Tirion the funeral arrangements were already made and the body of Finwê was burned and the laments rose to heaven and should have brought even Eru to tears. Lerina stood at the back of the crowd with Ariniel, feeling that the air was dense for some reason. Fëanor climbed up onto a dais, the flames making him more beautiful and more fell than ever before and he spoke. He told everybody how the valar had failed, how they couldn’t protect them against the enemy even within their own realm. He told them how Melkor had murdered their king, and stolen the sacred Silmarils. He named Melkor Morgoth, enemy and swore that he would avenge his father and bring the gems back. 

Lerina felt tears flowing down her cheeks, she just knew it, something horrible was about to happen, something not even fate itself may stop. Fëanor raised his sword, he would return to Endor and reclaim the gems, leave behind this realm of false gods and hidden fences and live as their ancestors had. The crowd was cheering and he called his sons to him, and they came and Lerina felt her stomach drop. The oath, she heard them all swear, even Maedhros and she knew at that very instant that they all would be sundered, that this was the end of the peace. They would leave, they would all leave.

Afterwards there was silence, Fingolfin and Finarfin had sworn to follow Fëanor, to avenge their father and there was an exodus of elves preparing for what was to come. Maedhros came to Lerina and hugged her and Ariniel, the girl didn’t really understand but Lerina did. She felt cold. “You are leaving”

Her voice was hollow, had no ring to it and he nodded. “ I have to, my place is by my father’s side. We have to do it Lerina” 

She raised her chin. “Then I will follow too”

Maedhros shook his head. “No, you do not! I have no idea of what we may meet on the other side of the sea, and I cannot go knowing you may be in danger. You have to stay, with Ariniel and keeping her safe. I will return to you both, I promise!”

Lerina sobbed. “ Do not swear oaths or make promises you cannot hold, oh Nelyo, if only nothing of this had happened!”

He kissed her forehead, held her close. “I wish the same, but there is no way back. As soon as things are organized we will leave” 

Lerina was dizzy, feeling as if the world was falling apart around her. “But how, how will you get back?”

He smiled, a swift and somewhat uncertain smile. “The teleri have ships, we will borrow them, I am sure they will understand”

Lerina groaned, it all felt more and more like some nightmare. He patted her on her shoulder. “You and Ariniel must return to our home, and make sure that everything that can be harvested is taken care of. I trust you to keep our daughter safe Lerina, and out there she won’t be.”

Lerina whimpered. “But”

He held her close. “No buts, I will make sure you arrive safely.”

She knew she couldn’t argue with him, not on this. Ariniel knew something was wrong and cried and Maedhros knelt down and hugged her. “Ariniel, I need you to be strong and take care of your nana for me, can you do that?” 

Ariniel nodded, her lovely eyes filled with tears. “That is good, atya has to go on a long journey but I will come back to you, and then everything will be fine”

Lerina saw it in his eyes, he didn’t think he would return and she swallowed a wail and just stood there, frozen. She and Maglor’s and Curufin’s wives stayed together, all of them too worried to speak and they just stayed indoors while the ner forged weapons and gathered provisions. Ariniel kept asking where atya and the other ner were going and Lerina tried to explain everything but the girl didn’t really understand. She had never seen the sea and she didn’t have a concept for how far it really was. 

Maedhros stayed a few nights with Fingon and Saeriel and Lerina didn’t mind, he deserved it and needed it and then she and the other nissi returned to the mansion. Maedhros kissed her when they left and promised to come back but Lerina already knew it in her heart. This was goodbye, one that would last through the ages. There were few noldor left when the great groups of the three brothers had left, nissi, some youths and some who didn’t have the courage to leave. The valar were against it, and warned them but they didn’t care.   
Lerina took care of the mansion, some livestock was slaughtered and the meat preserved and she made sure that they picked berries and nuts and edible roots and mushrooms to last them for years to come. It was hard work and very time consuming and the darkness did make everything very hard. Nerdanel came to the mansion, she was pale and distraught and Lerina did pity her a lot. She was obviously not herself and Lerina poured her a huge cup of wine in the kitchen, but she refused to drink it. “What is wrong?”

Nerdanel sobbed. “ I went to him before he left, and I begged him to let me keep my sons, to leave at least one of them, or the twins, but he refused. He took them all with him Lerina, all of my sons!”

Lerina couldn’t even imagine how that must have felt, how that must have broken Nerdanel’s heart. “ I am so sorry, I wish there was something I could do!” 

Nerdanel gasped and covered her face with her hands. “ Oh Eru, I tried to do everything I could to change his mind, and…even though there is no love between us anymore there is still passion, I bedded him Lerina, and even that wasn’t enough!”

Lerina blinked, she felt stunned. Nerdanel had to have been absolutely desperate to do that, she knew that Fëanors wife almost loathed her husband. “That…he is mad, that is the truth”

Nerdanel made a mewling sound. “ Oh, that isn’t the problem, I…”

She sobbed and her eyes were puffy and red. “I wanted to keep one of my babies and now I have found out that he did leave me with one after all”

Lerina felt her jaw drop, she stared at Nerdanel with huge eyes. “Nerdanel, are you saying that….” 

Nerdanel nodded. “ Yes, we didn’t try to conceive, we didn’t even think of that possibility but I am with child again, my eight child!”

Lerina had to sit down. “Nerdanel, that is…wow, ah, what are you to do?”

Her mother in law tried to wipe the tears of her face. “When I carried the twins I swore it was the last time, I had no more to give. But apparently I wasn’t finished after all, cursed be the fecundity of those Finwëions.”

Lerina swallowed. “But then you will have a child left after all, aren’t you even a bit glad?” 

Nerdanel sighed. “ Oh Lerina, I am both overjoyed and terrified. This baby will never know it’s father, I just know it. He is lost to us all” 

Lerina sighed. “I fear that they all may be lost, it was a most terrible oath to take and I am sure it will bring misery and grief.”

Nerdanel bit her lower lip. “ May I stay here, with you and my other law daughters?”

Lerina smiled. “ Of course, you are most welcome.”

She had bid Saeriel goodbye in Tirion, she had sworn to follow Fingon and Lerina missed her niece a lot already but knew that Saeriel was stubborn and strong. She probably wanted to explore and see a new and different world from the one she was raised in. She almost wished she had been equally bold. Now she needed people around her she knew she could trust and nobody she trusted more than Nerdanel. The red head smiled and hugged her and Nerdanel managed to make a smile. “At least I will be able to raise this one the way I want to without meddling ner around me all the time”

Lerina giggled and Nerdanel petted her belly. “But this better not be another giant like Maedhros, I do not have the strength for that.”

They told Maglor’s wife Alimiel and Curufin’s wife Canien of the news and both were shocked but also joyful. Finally some good news in all the doom and gloom. Ariniel was happy too when they told her she would get a new aunt or uncle and things were fine for a few days. Rumors spread that the valar were working on creating some new sources of light and Lerina hoped it was true. What good were these demi gods if they couldn’t make themselves useful? Lerina and Canien was going through the inventory of the mansion when a messenger arrived from Tirion, the ner was one who had been a servant to Finwë and he had stayed behind because his wife was expecting their first child. Now he rode a trembling horse to their door and jumped off, pale and visibly shaken. Nerdanel recognized him and she immediately knew that something was off. “Farion, what is wrong?”

Farion was ushered inside and he closed his eyes for a moment, then he stared straight at the gathered nissi who all stared back, pale and prepared for the worst but nothing could have prepared them for what they now was told. “My ladies, the host of Fëanor reached the harbor of Alqualonde and demanded ships but Olwe would not give them ships since the valar have forbidden them to leave. Fëanor….” 

Nerdanel was ashen grey. “ Yes?” 

Farion swallowed hard. “He and his followers took the ships by force my lady, and countless Teleri were slain as they tried to protect the ships. Many Noldor too fell, and the blood is said to have turned the waters red” 

Nerdanel let out a shriek and she almost collapsed. Lerina and Alimiel had to hold her up straight. “The host of Fingolfin followed, they too fought and killed and then they sailed north. Finarfin did turn around, he and his followers will return to Tirion soon.” 

They were silent, all of them were silent, It was too horrible to imagine. Elves killing other elves? Unthinkable. Farion took a deep breath. “Nàmo cursed them, those who have left may never return, and all they do will end in blood and tears and grief.” 

Lerina felt her legs give out under her and Canien passed out. The servants rushed to help them and Nerdanel was screaming, loud keening wails that cut their ears. Farion wetted his lips. “ My ladies, the teleri are in an uproar now, many thousand are dead! There will be few noldor left on this side of the sea, and I fear that you will be faced with anger and hatred from the survivors. The vanyar too are in an uproar and I do not think they will think kindly of you neither”

Nerdanel sobbed. “ My sons, my beautiful sons!”

The sound of crying spread throughout the house and Ariniel came running, she looked terrified. “ Isn’t atya coming back?” 

Lerina held her close, reveled in the scent of the young body. “No dear heart, he isn’t. None of them are!” 

Farion bit his lower lip. “You are the wives of kinslayers now, many will despise you. Is there somewhere you can go to be safe? This mansion is too close to Tirion and too isolated. Some may seek vengeance”

Nerdanel got a grip of herself. “ No, I do not want to believe that anyone would turn to violence. We are their wives but we have done nothing wrong, neither did we know what our husbands would do. We will not move!”

Farion bowed his head. “Very well my lady, but keep it in mind. There may come a time when a sanctuary will be needed” 

Nerdanel sighed. “There is a cottage in the woods of Oröme, it belongs to my father. If need be we can go there. Nobody else than his kin and me knows of it” 

Farion nodded. “Wise words my lady. I have to return home, but remember my warning. The people will not forget this.”

Nerdanel sighed, sat down and held her belly with trembling hands. “ So my last child will be the offspring of a kinslayer, how fate loves to play with our lives”

Lerina stared at Ariniel, she too was the child of a murderer now, and she felt herself go cold all over. What would happen to them now? Canien let out a wail of grief. “My son, I will never see him again, oh Eru curse that oath!”

Lerina felt a need to retch, to hide in some dark closet and never leave it. It was more horrible than she could ever have imagined but she had to stray strong. She turned around, faced the servants. “ You all heard what he said, those of you who wishes to leave may do so, I will hold no grudges against you. It may be wise of you to not be associated with us anymore”

The nis who was the head of the household when Lerina wasn’t at home stepped forth. “I think I am speaking for us all when I say that none of us will leave, we have been loyal to the house of Finwë for all of our long years and we will stay that way. Come what may!”

Lerina could only bow her head in respect. “ Thank you, I thank you all. This will change little, we will go on as before and try to survive, but I want the ner to patrol the area and bring weapons”

There was a low sound of mumbling spreading, everybody left to return to their work and Lerina sat down by the table. Ariniel was chewing on her lower lip. “Nana, I am scared”

Lerina nodded, tried to smile, smoothed her daughter’s shiny locks. “So am I dear heart, but we are strong together. We will make it” 

Nerdanel stared at her from across the table, her huge grey eyes were hazy but Lerina saw the fear in them, blood had been spilled and they all knew deep in their hearts that the world never would be the same. 

As the days and weeks passed by the servants managed to catch up with the news, Finarfin returned to Tirion with his followers and it was not that many. Very few noldor were left in Aman now and he was made their high king by the valar and they forgave him for trying to leave. Finarfin had always been the most mellow of the brothers, almost a bit demure and he had never shown much aggression of any sort. His children had left though, and it caused him immense grief. They learned that Fëanor had left for Endor and left Fingolfin and his group behind and that they were forced to get to Endor on foot, across the grinding ice. Lerina thought of Fingon and Saeriel and she just knew that this was going to cost even more lives. It was awful!

The valar were trying to salvage whatever they could and Yavanna was making attempts at making new trees but she couldn’t. Rumors said that the valar had a plan, that they would solve the problem soon but Lerina had lost all faith in them. The small group of nissi soon felt the effects of the kinslayings, when their servants went to Tirion or the villages to try to buy stuff they were denied everything, and often chased away with harsh words. Ariniel’s teachers refused to come and Lerina had to realize that they all in fact had been branded as outcasts. It was an invisible brand but one that was there nonetheless. 

Some elves with family lost at Alqualonde came to the mansion, demanding that the noldor paid a huge replacement to them, to compensate for their loss. Nerdanel really showed her grit then, standing there alone in front of a huge group of angry teleri and vanyar and she didn’t back down even when the discussion turned very harsh. She and the other wives didn’t owe these elves anything, and they were no longer rich. Their husbands had turned all their money and wealth into provisions and weapons and they were left with the bare essentials and hardly that.

Nerdanel was pale and visibly shaken when she returned inside but she had stood there like a queen and been such a formidable sight they all had backed down. Lerina was extremely proud of her. Lerina made sure that all the nissi of the mansion learned to sew and knit and make yarn, they needed warm clothes now and Nerdanel and the other two wives taught Ariniel what she needed to know. Luckily the girl was still fond of reading and so she didn’t really need any teachers at all. Finarfin sent a message some months after the incident with the mourning elves, he wanted them all to visit Tirion for he wanted to know that they all were alright and Nerdanel decided that they had to go. They couldn’t just stay there forever, and they needed things they couldn’t get otherwise. 

They left for Tirion and Lerina was feeling very nervous. She didn’t like it at all. There were so few noldor elves left and the teleri and vanyar were openly hostile most of the time. Even those who hadn’t lost kin were angry and projected that anger onto those who had stayed behind. They were safe in the city but Lerina just couldn’t let her guard down. Finarfin was friendly enough, terribly sad and very unaccustomed to rule but he did a pretty good job considering that he wasn’t raised to be a ruler. They got what they needed of things, blankets, some wine, some herbs and cloth and Nerdanel was grateful. She was showing now and Lerina could see how the others there were staring at her, some with open contempt even if they were noldor themselves.

They stayed at the palace for some days, Ariniel got some new books and she was cheerful as ever, that nis never let anything break her. She was growing into a very tall female, but she wouldn’t be freakishly tall the way her father was. Lerina wondered where he was now, if he even was alive, and if they could manage to do what they had sworn to do. Somehow she doubted it. Oh she dreamed that they would return, triumphantly with the silmarils and Melkor in chains but she knew it was a futile dream. They could never win against the dark vala. 

Ariniel and Canien and Alimiel left early, they were following the wagons and Nerdanel and Lerina still had business to take care of. Nerdanel wanted to make sure that her unborn child would be regarded as a heir to the throne and had long discussions with the counsellors and Lerina tried to find books about herbs and medicine. She had discovered that she had a fondness for such topics and wanted to learn more. When they left Tirion she had her saddlebags stuffed with books and scrolls and she was in a good mood. Nerdanel rode her usual grey gelding while Lerina was on the small mare Maedhros had given her, they had sold most of the horses and kept only those they needed. They left the city gates and rode across darkened fields, their eyes had grown accustomed to the lack of light and they saw pretty well by now but the landscape was without colors and it was a pitiful sight. The trees were bare, the grass gone and there was no song of birds to be heard. The land was dying and Lerina feared that the end would come soon if the valar didn’t come up with a source of light. 

The horses kept a steady pace and Lerina was deep within her own thoughts when she heard voices, some elves stood by the road and they stared at the two riders with dark expressions. Lerina sensed trouble and Nerdanel went pale, they were alone without guards and these were ner, about ten of them and all very angry. “Look, it is the kinslayer’s whores”

Nerdanel stared at Lerina, her eyes wide. “Ride, we have to get away” 

Lerina hesitated and the ner charged forwards, tried to grasp the reins. “Pull them off those horses, don’t let them get away!”

Nerdanel had a riding whip since her horse was a bit of a handful and she managed to hit two of the ner across their arms as they reached for her. They staggered back and Nerdanel put her spurs to the gelding who whinnied and took off like a racehorse. One of the ner shouted, “Stop her, she is carrying that monster’s offspring, it must not be allowed to be born”

One of the ner had a bow and was aiming for Nerdanel and Lerina reacted on pure instinct, she tossed her mare around and knocked the ner over, hands were trying to reach her skirts and she felt so terribly cold. Nerdanel was far away now, at least she was safe and Lerina let the horse spin around, trying to find a way out of the circle of angry male elves. “It is the redhead’s slut, the one who’s been a whore. Get her, she’ll get to feel what her husband has done”

Lerina was cold all over, terrified. One managed to get a hold of her braid and she was pulled down from the mare, hit the ground hard. The ner threw themselves at her but the mare was protecting her mistress, kicking and leaping and biting and the ner backed off. “That horse is possessed, shoot it”

Lerina screamed and got up, threw herself at the ner with the bow again and knocked him over, there were hands grasping her, pulling at her clothes, trying to force her down. She remembered the attack, remembered what had nearly happened to her and now it seemed that destiny was catching up with her. One of them backhanded her across her face. “Just scream you slut, let us show you what happens to whores who spreads her legs for noldorin scum”

The ner grasped a riding whip and struck her across her back, the dress was torn there and she gasped from the pain. “When we are finished nobody will want to touch you again you little piece of filth.”

The ner tried to push her down onto the ground and she screamed, tried to kick and bite and they chuckled. “Feisty ha? I bet that husband of yours have made you scream for more rather often, now it is our turn.”

She head butted one ner and managed to kick another in the groin and as a result one hit her in the gut, hard! She doubled over and gasped for breath and just knew it, this was a fight she couldn’t win but at least Nerdanel was safe and Ariniel too. She prepared to die fighting when there was a booming voice and a flash of intense light and the ner let go of her, frozen in shock. A very tall figure came striding towards them, glowing like a lamp and it was a maia, and he was angry no doubt. “What do you think you are doing? Are you insane? She may be the wife of one of those who spilled blood but she is not the one to blame.”

The ner stared at the maia and some were angry still. “They have to pay for what they have done”

The maia nodded. “And they will, in due time, but do not punish those who are innocent. You are all to appear before Manwë at the ring of doom, he will not be pleased to hear about this” 

The ner looked nervous all of a sudden and Lerina felt herself tremble violently, the maia walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder, warmth immediately flooded through her body. “You are safe now dear, my name is Olorin, it was Eru’s luck I was heading this way” 

Lerina nodded, still shaking. “ I am very grateful”

Olorin nodded slowly. “Here, get back on your brave little mare, I will make sure you get back home safely.” 

Lerina managed to get back in the saddle, the group of ner looked like dogs someone has scolded. She bit her lower lip. “Tell me, is it true that the valar are going to bring the light back?”

Olorin nodded. “ Yes dear, soon you will see.”

She tried to smile. “ I am glad, I thank you for your help”

Olorin smiled and threw a dark glance at the ner. “They are angry because of the kinslayings, yet they are themselves ready to commit just the same crime. Manwë will judge them hard”

Lerina just made a faint grimace, she didn’t doubt it at all. Olorin put a hand on hers. “ When the light returns and the world turns green yet again then do go to the woods, let them heal you all.”

Lerina bowed her head and made the mare trot off and Olorin stared at her with narrow eyes. The maia had a strong sense of having met someone who had more strength then she was aware off.


	8. The true fighters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time moves on and Things change, there is yet again light to be seen but will there ever be light again in Lerina's life? Can she ever find that one special person?

Chapter Eight: The true fighters

Lerina did manage to get home, then she had a sort of nervous breakdown and Alimiel had to take care of Ariniel until she managed to pull herself together. Nerdanel had gathered some of the ner of the mansion to ride back for Lerina but now they didn’t have to. Nerdanel felt terrible since she had ridden off but Lerina told her she didn’t bear any grudges against her, Nerdanel had thought of her unborn baby and Lerina would have done the same had she been in that situation. 

Now they started to think that maybe they really ought to leave, to seek refuge in the woods, and Lerina had a feeling that it would be wise. Then one morning as they prepared for the day there was a strange light spreading over the horizon and soon it became stronger and warmer and everybody went outside in awe and shock. The light came from a huge golden orb that slowly made its way across the skies and Lerina had to shield her eyes and blink. The light was stronger than that of the trees, much more harsh but at the same time it held more heat. The elves saw the effects of the darkness for the first time, the fields were naked, the forest stood without leaves, it was a barren land now but that would change fast. 

The golden light slowly descended and another silvery one, much smaller took its place. Some of the servants left for Tirion to hear what this was and they returned and told that it was the last fruits and flowers of the two trees, turned into lights and guarded by two maiar who had dedicated themselves to the task. Suddenly there as a night and a day once more and life felt better. The leaves slowly returned after some showers of rain and the world turned green once more, living became more easy. But the attitudes didn’t change that much, and Nerdanel made the decision for them all. As soon as her new child was born and strong enough to travel they would leave for the forests. The mansion simply couldn’t feed them anymore, there wasn’t enough land and it was too close to the cities. 

Nerdanel gave birth to a girl, a very beautiful girl with her father’s raven locks and her mother’s green eyes and she soon made herself well known with very strong lungs and a constant high volume. Ariniel loved to baby sit and proved to have quite a talent for it too and that enabled the other nissi to pack and prepare things they needed to bring along. Lerina had lived in luxury there, now her life would be much simpler but perhaps it would be better in many ways. Nerdanel’s daughter was named Alciel and she grew at an alarming rate and it soon became very apparent that she had inherited both her father’s temper and his intelligence. They left for the woods early in Alciel’s second year, the house had been prepared for their arrival and Mahtan had made sure that it was safe. There were wood elves living in that area, elves who had lived their entire lives across the sea but had died and been reborn there in Aman. They refused to have anything to do with the aman elves and few even knew they were there. 

Lerina was glad they no longer had to go to Tirion that often, here they had all they needed and soon they became very independent and formed a sort of a small tribe. The servants had followed them and Lerina felt safe, and content. Then Ariniel got closer and closer to her coming of age and that started a new type of problems. She was after all of the blood of Finwê, and a princess. Finarfin demanded that she came to court to learn how to be a proper lady and Lerina didn’t like it, she didn’t like it at all! Indis sent Lerina a letter, promising to take care of the young nis and protect her and Lerina knew that they were right. Ariniel had to face the truth and learn who she really was. She was a tall and very pretty young nis now and she had a sort of innocent charm that was very endearing. 

Still the vanyar and the teleri were hostile against any noldor they came across and as the years went some who had died started to return from the halls and the things they told were enough to make anyone shiver. Lerina refused to listen to any of it. She didn’t have the stomach to endure hearing any of it and she was afraid of what her daughter would have to face. Nerdanel tried to calm her and make her feel better about it and Alciel would join Ariniel at court. The daughter of Fêanor was already a very skilled artist and she had a keen wit and a sharp tongue and she knew that truth about the past events since Nerdanel never tried to sugar coat anything. Ariniel was thrilled when she left, she was eager to learn new things and to see that splendor that was the court with her own eyes. She didn’t anticipate any sort of problems at all. 

With their daughters gone the two nissi had to fill their days with work of different sorts and Lerina found that her fondness of herbs was proving to become a source of income. She learned how to dye fabric with herbal concoctions and she also gathered and dried herbs for the healers. And she was busy gathering nuts and berries, making decorations of dried flowers and she kept herself busy all the time. Then the maiar started to show up, one by the other, all bearing sad news. Fêanor had died, then his sons, one by one did they perish and end up in the halls and as the truth of their deeds was made public there was a collective reaction of sheer shock and horror. Nerdanel was crushed, beside herself with grief and they all had to fight hard to stay sane. More and more elves came through the halls, more and more information was passed on to the living and Lerina couldn’t believe it. The scale of the bloodshed and the horrors was one she couldn’t even comprehend in her darkest nightmares. 

Ariniel did write quite often, but now the letters were getting shorter and shorter and there could be weeks between them. Lerina got nervous and Nerdanel was nervous too. Alciel hadn’t written to her in weeks and the last letters only told of some rather indifferent happenings and had no real hint of the young nis emotions. Lerina feared the court but she couldn’t hesitate, she had to go there in person and see for herself that her daughter was alright. So she and Nerdanel got some horses and put on their best gowns and rode to Tirion. It took days now, and Lerina got more and more nervous the closer they got. The anger and hatred some felt for the noldor was still seething and she wanted to avoid any sort of trouble. Finarfin was thrilled to see them and so was Indis. She had sort of lived in the shadows since Finwê was slain, and she looked tired and sad and the spark was gone from her eyes. She was seen as a usurper by many still and she preferred to stay away from court and only do her duties when she absolutely had to. 

Ariniel and Alciel were good friends, and they spent most of their time together and both were glad to see their mothers but said moms could immediately see that something was amiss. Lerina felt that Ariniel was hiding something and soon the truth came out, although reluctantly. Both had been treated like garbage by those vanyar who appeared at this court, and Ariniel had been ridiculed by some young ner, and they were in fact noldor but not of those who had followed Finarfin. Their parents had stayed behind and felt that they were sort of purer and guilt free. They had even pretended to be interested in her and then mocked her and Lerina was aghast at this confession. Her lovely daughter had been called things that made her stomach churn and Alciel had been called even worse things. Finarfin hadn’t known and Indis had tried to talk to the parents of the ner behind it but all she had managed to do was to make the problem even worse. 

Now the two young nissi were regarded almost as outcasts and only the fear that their mothers would be hurt had kept them from telling anyone of the situation. Lerina was seething with rage and Nerdanel was very angry too, but there was very little anyone could do about it. Being of Finwê’s blood was like being a pariah and it wouldn’t change anytime soon. When the two were there at court, trying to comfort their daughters one of the maiar of Manwê came to the palace and declared that any nis married to one of the exiles from now on were regarded as unmarried. All marriage bonds were severed and the marriages annulled and they were free to remarry if they wanted to. That made Nerdanel cry and Lerina got terrified that her parents yet again would try to interfere with her life. They chose to return home and Ariniel followed them. She had learned all she needed to learn and longed to get away from all the vicious tongues and gossip. Lerina was proud of her, Ariniel wanted to become a healer and she started her apprentice ship with one of the maiar or Lorien and suddenly she was transformed yet again. Now she was smiling and looking forward to every day and Lerina couldn’t have been more happy. 

Nerdanel on the other hand had a problem, Alciel was getting more and more rebellious. She sort of saw through all the lies, all the facades and with her swift tongue and sharp intellect she made herself rather infamous fast. Then one day Nerdanel received a letter that made her both laugh and cry. The vanyar had sort of demanded that the valar exiled all noldor from eldamar and forced them north, to live near the grinding ice. The valar had refused of course and the vanyar had gathered to a meeting to discuss what to do. Ingwe tried to make them come to their senses again but all he managed to do was to be thrown out of the meeting. Unfortunately Alciel had heard of the meeting and she had gotten to the mansion they used in secret and there she had managed to cause a spectacle of epic proportions. She had poured laxatives in the stew, herbs that caused people to vomit in the wine and in the baths she had swapped the soap and shampoo with some oils used to remove hair from animal hides. Several vanyar elves had to go bald for weeks and soon the news spread through the entire area. The vanyar claimed that Alciel was an abomination and too dangerous to be allowed to be running around and Manwê had finally had enough of the meddling vanyar and put up a list of rather strict rules they would have to follow. 

Nerdanel was proud of her daughter and at the same time shocked by the nis audacity and courage. She was in every way her father’s daughter and Nerdanel knew that Fëanor would have been very proud of her indeed. Lerina started to make a name for herself with her work and she was glad she could make herself useful. Her hands were hard and calloused now, and her skin wasn’t as fair as it had been but her life was good. Ariniel was doing well and learning fast and Lerina was hoping that her daughter would face a great future.  
But as the years passed everybody started to realize that something needed to be done, the amount of dead elves arriving at the halls was staggering at times and now Nerdanel only had two sons left alive. Finarfin had his daughter Artanis somewhere in that land across the sea but his other children had perished, one by one. A maia had come to Lerina one evening, with a letter written by someone in the service of Fingon. The ner had promised to tell Lerina of the events which had taken place and so she learned that Saeriel had died, killed in an attack. She had given Fingon a son they named Gil Galad and the boy was sent to safety by the coast. Fingon had perished just as his father had and his brothers and Lerina hadn’t believed that she had any more tears to shed but she was wrong. Indis had a breakdown too, and were taken to the gardens of Lorien to recover, but everybody said that she probably would succumb to her grief and share the fate of the first high queen. 

Lerina felt frustrated, angry even. Anger was so rare a feeling for her but now she felt it boiling every day. She realized that Fêanor was right, that the valar were far from being as omnipotent as they would like everybody to believe. She and the rest of the family hardly ever left the woods now, the stories of the atrocities were well known and the anger of the population didn’t seem to diminish at all. Some noldor started to be reborn, those who hadn’t really done much wrong, and even those were the subjects of harsh criticism from others. Other elves returned too, and immediately sought out their own kin and so the population slowly grew once more but the vanyar were the group which was largest by far. Then a half elf arrived in a battered old ship, pleading for help and the decision was made to go to war. 

Now there weren’t that many noldor left and those who had fought and died refused to return so the valar gathered a huge host of Vanyar elves and some teleri. Finarfin went, with as many as he could gather of his followers and Lerina suddenly faced a new sort of dread.  
Ariniel was a healer now, fully trained and she wanted to join the elves going to war, to aid them. She wanted to see if she could find her father and bring him back and Lerina knew that nothing she could say or do would change Ariniel’s mind if she was set upon this. Alciel went to the young nis and had a long chat with her and at the end Ariniel sort of forgot about her wish to leave, Lerina had no idea of what the daughter of Fêanor said but she was forever grateful. Ariniel had agreed upon travelling to Tol erressea to stay there and help with the healing of those who arrived there, fleeing the war. Lerina found it incredibly tough to be separated from her daughter yet again but did find some solace in the fact that she was safe there and not in those strange lands, where orcs and other terrible creatures roamed.  
Lerina often thought of Maedhros, she had no idea of what he would be like now, if they were to meet again. Those who had met him across the sundering sea told of a hardened warrior, scarred and maimed by the enemy yet fighting like a blazing fire, like a raging lion upon the battlefields. The polite and controlled young ner was gone, what had taken his place was a grief ridden mad and fatalistic nightmare. Eldamar was a quiet place now, the vanyar had been so haughty and so righteous and now some of their own returned and told of things so terrible those who had stayed had a hard time believing them. And the noldor had went to fight this, out of their own free will. In those days Nerdanel found a new strength, she fought hard to clear her husband’s name, to make everybody see that he had been right all along, that Melkor had poisoned their minds and souls and blinded them as well. Some spoke up against her and demanded that she shut up and returned to her home but slowly the people changed. The hatred didn’t really disappear but it changed its focus. Fêanor changed from being the criminal to becoming the victim of a crime and they did find some sympathy from not a few. Lerina was very proud of her law mother then, and the elves got more unified by the war too. The vanyar had to face the same horrors as the noldor and when one is forced to fight for one’s life the ideals forged in a peaceful realm with no real danger soon vanish like morning dew. 

Then one night Lerina had a dream, the war had gone on for some years now and they had no idea of whether or not they would win. Ariniel wrote every week, telling of elves arriving with horrible injuries and even more injured souls and Ariniel soon became well known as a healer capable of soothing the distressed and healing their wounded minds. Lerina was very proud of her. This night she had gone to bed late, she had organized a huge gathering of fruits and it took some effort since they needed a lot of equipment. Some had discovered that by putting the fruit in boiled glass jar, sealing them tight and them boiling them again you could preserve the fruit for years and Lerina had become a master at it. She was so tired she fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow but before long she was dreaming and the dream not a pleasant one at all. She was standing on a plain where the ground was torn and ripped open, fumes and smoke rose together with immense heat and it was a hellish sight. Lerina turned around, he stood right next to one of those fissures, clinging one of those accursed jewels to his chest, she did see that his right hand was gone and she could have wept. Gone was the beautiful and bright spirit she had known, this was a broken soul, one tormented by deeds to horrible to imagine, by grief and sorrow and loss. He was scarred and almost a shadow of his former self, the fire of his soul subdued and flickering.  
Lerina held her breath, stared at her former husband and he stared at the jewel, then straight at her. The eyes were hollow and empty and it made her sob. “ I am sorry, tell her I love her, tell her I love her more than life, but this has to end. Before we bring this poison any further” 

Lerina wanted to scream, but she couldn’t, she just stood there as he turned around and just fell, disappeared into the vapors with a sore cry. She woke up with a start, bathed in sweat, with the scent of Sulphur in her nose and the heat still clawing at her skin and she knew he was dead. She let out a gasp, clinging to her sheets with all of her might. It felt as if she had lost something she hadn’t even known was there until now, like a scaffold holding her up. She had been Maedhros wife, but now she was just a widow and she had no idea of what that might bring forth of bad things. She just knew that she was grieving him and she did for years to come. The war ended, the valar were victorious and Melkor cast into the void but the victory came with a bitter after taste. So many had perished and so much was changed, the very face of the earth itself was different and the general atmosphere in Aman changed a lot. Lerina drowned herself in her work, tried to forget that way and she soon ran a rather large business. The demand for fruits and nuts was high in the cities and she sort of let her job define her. 

Some asked her why she didn’t do as the valar suggested and remarried but Lerina didn’t want that, she wanted to be in charge of her life and she had come to understand one very important difference between the elves of Aman and those of the old world. Here in Aman a nis role was very defined, there were things you could do but there were also things you couldn’t do. The nandor sindar and avarin elves who were arriving from the halls and bringing their attitudes and customs were very different indeed. First, the roles of ner and nissi were the same, the only difference was that the nissi did give birth, other from that nissi could even be warriors. Second of all, sleeping with someone didn’t mean that you got married, they often sought the pleasures of the flesh with one partner or more, just to have a good time. And third and not the least, they didn’t regard the rules of the valar as anything but a load of pious crap. Lerina started having customers of Silvan, Sindarin or even Avarin origin and she soon realized that she just loved their open hearted and unrestrained ways. 

Then one day Ariniel came home with some news, she was a grown nis now, and had been for many a long year and Lerina hadn’t really realized but now she saw that her daughter was older than she had been when she married her daughter’s father. Ariniel had met her one, a half teleri born across the sea and his father had been a sinda. Lerina was in shock, in complete and utter shock, her daughter wanted to get married? Where had the years gone? And what would everybody say to such a union? As expected there was a bit of an uproar but it was silenced by Finarfin who said that this was exactly what they needed to bring the fractions back together again and make the ancient wounds heal. Ariniel had suffered a lot in secret, some almost blamed her for the second and third kinslayings since her father was dead and gone and she had developed a sort of strength Lerina envied her a lot. Nerdanel and Alciel were busy still, working to let people know the truth about the whole mess and the public opinion was slowly swinging in their direction, but that brought some new problems. The inhabitants of Aman could perhaps understand Fêanor and his sons but those elves who had lived in Endor sure as hell could not. 

Lerina faced some sympathy from even the silvan and the sindar since she after all was a widow and had stayed there in Aman but she also lost customers when they found out who she was and she knew that her past would keep haunting her for the rest of her life. Ariniel got married and Lerina felt guilty for not sitting down with her, having that little chat before the wedding. The truth was that Lerina was terrified of revealing the great secret, that Ariniel in fact was Saeriel’s daughter and not her own. That meant losing the most beloved person in her life and Lerina would never admit to the little lie freely. Ariniel should never have to live with the shame of knowing that she was born out of wedlock, to another ner’s wife. The wedding was beautiful and grand and Lerina wept the whole day. She had gained a son as some said but the truth was that she didn’t know her new law son at all and although she did like him and understood why Ariniel loved him so much she sort of lacked the will and determination to sit down and really get to know him. Lerina had become so familiar with loss she sort of expected it all the time and refused to bond with anyone or anything, out of fear of yet more grief. Nerdanel tried to make her see that she was neglecting herself but Lerina refused to listen to it, she focused on her work and her business and tried to forget about everything except that. 

Ariniel was happy in her marriage and she often visited her mother with her husband and Lerina could feel a sort of envy witnessing their happiness, and for that she felt shame and guilt. She didn’t try to interfere with the happiness of those two and she was just glad her daughter had found a safe harbor and was living a rather normal life after all. If she missed having someone special she never told anyone but Ariniel was getting worried that her mother would stay lonely for the rest of time. 

Nerdanel and Alciel kept working tirelessly to raise awareness of the true nature of the past events and they did have little time for Lerina and the other nissi of the family. Curufin’s wife Canien left them after a few centuries and returned to her own family, she had learned that her son too had perished and could not bear that knowledge anymore. She had to get help or lose her mind. Maglor’s wife knew he was alive somewhere and those who came to Aman told that he was roaming the beaches like some sort of hermit, half crazed and utterly alone, making penitence for his sins. Alimiel felt that he probably wanted to punish himself but that no punishment ever would feel severe enough. She grieved but she didn’t move on, she too preferred to live as a widow, never taking a new husband. 

Ariniel wanted to wait with children, and her husband agreed. The times were still turbulent and things kept happening in Endor that made everybody shocked. As time went by they heard of Numenor and its fall and of Sauron having survived the fall of Angband and regaining power. Lerina had made a name for herself and was in fact regarded as a very successful person when disaster struck. A sort of disease swept through the woods near the great cities and for some years the trees didn’t produce any fruit at all. The fruits just shriveled and fell off before they could become ripe and Yavanna worked tirelessly to cure them. But Lerina was depending upon the rich yields of the orchards and she lost a lot of her income and many customers too. She was in despair and then Ariniel made a suggestion. The trees of the deep woods were unaffected and Lerina had enough money to keep going for sure. What if she visited her daughter and law son for a few years and let the trees around Tirion recover? Lerina was reluctant at first, she didn’t want to become a burden to her daughter but Ariniel told her very sternly that she would be no burden at all and then she sort of surrendered. 

Ariniel and her husband lived deep in the woods of Orome, to the south of the Pelori and by now there were rich thriving societies there made up by mostly sindar elves and some silvan and avarin elves too. Cities had been erected and they had become a world of their own, separated from the cities of Eldamar, ruled and run in their own manner. Lerina did like it there, she did look like a sinda in some ways and she sort of fit right into that way of living. Here she could forget about her past life, about her parents and her marriage and she started learning new skills from the sindar nissi who looked upon her with some pity once they learned of her past. By now the amount of elves being reborn sort of decreased, and few died. It was good that way and Lerina was thrilled to hear that the twins Amrod and Amras had been allowed to be reborn and returned to their mother. They had been so young when they died the valar decided that they couldn’t be held responsible for their deeds and so Nerdanel was overwhelmed by joy and kept busy by those two very energetic ner for months. They were thrilled to meet their new sister and she soon brought them with her and taught them new and very inventive pranks.  
Then Lerina was told of the death of Fingon’s son in the battles of the last alliance and she wept yet again for days, she had never met him and yet she mourned that ellon, since he had been the last thing left of her niece. She didn’t know if Saeriel ever would be reborn and that tormented her for years, the uncertainty of it all. Maedhros would probably never be reborn but she had some hope that Fingon would be forgiven for whatever sins he had committed. 

The vanyar elves had suffered heavy losses during the war of wrath and as their dead started to return after about an age in the halls the piousness and ridiculous stiff upper lipped attitudes sort of diminished. The vanyar sort of started to remember who they had been before the great journey and started embracing their old ways more and more. Now you could see vanyar wearing just thin silky gowns again, lots of visible jewelry and even piercings and tattoos. The reborn avarin elves often chose to be reborn with all of their old scars and marks and so a new fashion spread through society. The valar frowned but nobody paid any attention to that anymore, some even flirted and had one night stands and back in the years of the trees that would have caused some of the moral guardians to suffer from apoplectic shocks. 

Lerina had discovered that these woods were filled with species she hadn’t seen before, trees with nuts and berries so wonderful she often just stood there in shock. Ariniel was busy working as a healer and her husband was making ropes and barrels so they didn’t have time to help her that often but Lerina had learned how to help herself. She had become very independent, perhaps too independent too. She had discovered huge holts of trees carrying very tasty nuts and she tried to make maps of them and calculating how much she could harvest each autumn. One day she decided to go to one of the holts to pick some nuts and berries for their own household. She also wanted to send some barrels of nuts to Nerdanel and another to Indis as a thanks for her support and she had managed to design a sort of harness for one horse or mule onto which huge baskets could be attached. She had gotten a docile although very large mule from a tradesman and now she tacked the animal up and left for the woods as soon as the sun did rise. She was in a good mood and the weather was warm so she had put on a brand new dress she had bought the day before. It was made from a new fabric called cotton which some had brought from the old world and it was white with nice blue embroideries along the hems. 

Lerina found the holt easily and started to fill the baskets, this sort of work really brought her peace of mind and she was humming a merry tune as she went along and emptied bucket after bucket into the baskets. It wasn’t until the baskets were full she realized what a mistake she had done, the baskets were on the ground and the mule was tall and a basket containing more than a hundred pounds of nuts is heavy. She swore and sighed, she didn’t want to empty the baskets again so she dragged them to a rock and sort of pulled them up on top of it. That made her sweat profusely in the heat but she did get both the baskets up there. Then she got the mule and placed it next to the rock and tried to attach the baskets again. She swore as she worked, that she could be this stupid, it was so annoying! She ought to have thought of this before and let the baskets stay on the mule. She managed to attach the first basket but then something happened, the mule made an annoyed sound and then it reared and kicked and Lerina lost her balance and sort of fell onto the broad back. 

She grasped onto the coarse mane with all of her might and the mule ran off, kicking and bucking due to the weight of the basket on one side. Lerina didn’t have the reins and the mule was getting rather terrified, the harness had twisted itself and it spooked the animal and some piece of it probably pinched the poor animal and caused it pain too. Lerina could only hang on for dear life as the mule ran off through the unfamiliar terrain. It ran over a hill and then down into a narrow valley and Lerina was terrified and couldn’t do anything to stop it. The nuts were raining around her ears and she was afraid that this was it, that she would be killed in a freak accident. Then the valley suddenly and very abruptly ended, in a cliff and Lerina screamed in terror as the stupid beast sort of headed straight for it. She did hear a waterfall and the mule let out a wild whinny and kicked off. Lerina stared down, the cliff wasn’t that high but underneath it was a lake and she couldn’t swim at all. The mule hit the water with an almighty splash and went under and Lerina felt a hard collision and water closed above her head. She let go of the mule in panic, kicked and squirmed and swallowed water, convinced that she was going to drown. Her lungs burned and she didn’t know which way was up or down and she was so afraid she never would see her daughter again. 

Then something grasped onto her, something very warm and hard and she felt herself being pulled up, air hit her face again and she gasped for it, desperately. A strong grip held her tight and she was towed towards shore where that blasted mule now shook itself, looking rather smug. Lerina coughed and puked water, cold to the core and still in shock and she was gently turned around, placed onto a rock. A pair of eyes met her own and she had never seen eyes like those before. They were a mix of amber golden and jade green and almost hypnotizing as they were lined by very dark eyelashes and brows. She blinked, stared at the face of the ner who had rescued her and he smiled and tilted his head. “ I have heard a lot of the blessed realm but nobody ever told me I could expect it to be raining beautiful ellith and mules from the skies” 

Lerina swallowed, felt like a drowned cat, the ner talking to her was huge, not as tall as Maedhros but not far from it and he was both muscular and elegant at the same time, and now she did also realize one other interesting fact about him. He was as naked as the day he was born. She felt herself blush like a beet and she tried to look at his face instead of that absolutely stunning body. He was very tanned and his hip long hair a deep dark golden brown with hints of red in it, he had very wide archers shoulders and he even had tattoos and some visible scars here and there. She blinked, felt like a moron, what did she say to thank her savior? Without risking sounding like a complete idiot? He was rather imposing this close up and he was if not as beautiful as Maedhros much more masculine and way more hardened than her husband had been while he lived in Aman, that was for sure. This was a warrior, one who had fought his whole life and he was…he was the most stunning male she had ever seen. If Maedhros had been a lion and Fingon a cheetah this was a panther, strength and speed combined into one, one awesome and both attractive and terrifying power pack. He made her mouth go dry, and her heart beat like that of a tiny bird. 

“I….” She didn’t really manage to say anything, then she got aware of yet another fact, one incredibly embarrassing one. Her dress had gotten wet and now it was completely transparent and clung to her like an almost invisible second layer of skin. He could see all of her, every tiny detail and she squeaked and tried to cover her breast and crotch with her hands while her eyes got huge as those of an owl. He looked at her hand, she realized that he was studying her ring and she blinked again. She had never taken it off, to her it was a sort of safety but she saw something akin to disappointment in his eyes when he saw that it was a wedding ring. “My lady, what happened?” 

She tried to smile, still feeling terribly vulnerable. Oh Eru, he didn’t even try to cover himself up! It wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen anyone naked before, she had bathed with Maedhros a few times and even shared the bath with him and Fingon and Saeriel but this male here looked as if he could put them both to shame. His accent put him as a sindar and so did the height. They said that the now dead king of the Sindar elves, Elu Thingol had been even taller than Maedhros by a whole foot. “ Ah, the mule ran out, it must have been spooked when I tried to lift some baskets with nuts onto it” 

He frowned. “ A basket of nuts? That is rather heavy now isn’t it? Couldn’t your husband have helped you with that?” 

Lerina shivered, felt a sort of helplessness she never had felt before. “ I.. I am a widow” 

He made a grimace “ I am sorry my lady, my apologies” 

She tried to smile. “ It is alright, you couldn’t have known now could you, thank you for saving me, I cannot swim at all. “ 

He bowed his head. “It was a pleasure, it was Eru’s luck I was taking a swim here today” 

She saw some things on the beach nearby. A mighty bow with a quiver, a dead deer hung from a branch and some leather clothes lay in a neat heap by the rock. She didn’t know what to think or say next, her mind stood completely still. 

He stared at the elleth he just had rescued, she was a slender lithe thing and looked absolutely terrified. Poor thing, how old could she be? She looked rather young but her eyes told him she had seen some millennia, yet there was a strange sort of innocence to her and he felt his protective instincts kick into action. She was gorgeous, and what a hair. Deep dark silvery grey, .like polished steel. He had only met one elf with that hair color and that had been his king, Elu. This elleth looked like a dream, he did notice that her hands were calloused, she was used to hard work, and she had a slight tan. Her dress was expensive but not too elaborate and she had been picking nuts on her own? No spoiled lady from the nobility then, good. Her eyes were a strange color too, he couldn’t really decide whether they were green or blue and they shimmered in the sunlight. Huge lovely eyes, so expressive and a pair of rosy lips just made for kissing. 

Had one of the maiar fallen from the heavens? She did look absolutely toothsome, the way the dress clung to her form told him she was an adult female for sure and he couldn’t help but notice her nice shapes. Her breasts were just perfect, a little perky with stiff pink nipples and further down… he had to tear his eyes away from her more private areas, that tiny waist combined with round elegant hips and that small shade where her thighs met, oh Eru he was fighting a hard battle against himself not to become visibly aroused by it. So she was a widow? He did pity her husband then, dying when you have something like that waiting for you back home had to be what he could only describe as the very maximum of bad luck. Would her husband return to her maybe? She did look like an elleth of mixed heritage, the colors were telerin or perhaps vanyar but her heart shaped face with high cheekbones and a pointy chin was most certainly a noldorin feature. She looked like a doll, but a very tempting and living breathing one. “ Do you have any family around, who can help you? Where do you live?” 

He kept his voice soft and calm, to soothe her nerves, she looked as if she had suffered a bad shock and he did pity her. She whimpered. “ A daughter, I have a daughter. I live with her now, in the village to the east of here” 

He swallowed, so she had a child of her own, definitely an adult then, perhaps she wouldn’t mind having some company? “That is great my lady, have you been alone for long?”

Lerina tried to smile. “Yes, my husband…my husband died during the war of wrath” 

He was thinking fast, that was a long ago now, he should have been returned to her if he was of those allowed to be reborn. That meant that there could be a chance, he had never felt so fascinated by an elleth before, and he had no idea of why, except from the fact that she was sexy as hell like that. He got up, tried to avoid staring at the lovely body of hers. “Allow me to escort you home then my lady, that mule looks as if it needs someone with a bit more strength than you if I may be so bold. Do you gather nuts often around here?” 

She nodded, still trying to cover herself, in an almost maidenly fashion. That was odd, was she shy? Or perhaps born into one of those ridiculously pious families of vanyar elves? He had to grin to himself, perhaps her husband only had been allowed to enjoy all that gorgeous ness under the cover of darkness, and several layers of blankets and a nightgown. Poor bastard in that case. “ I make a living collecting nuts and berries and herbs, I was just dumb to try to lift the baskets up onto the mule unaided. I am Lerina by the way, of Tirion”

He frowned. Tirion? Then she was someone of importance after all, but gathering nuts? That was work for a commoner. Lerina, the free one, it was a lovely name but he sort of felt that this was one elleth who barely knew what freedom was at all. Why he didn’t know but by Eru how he would have liked to show her a really good time. She couldn’t have gotten any for a long time, and she did look like a rather sensual being in spite of her maidenly reactions. She had stared at him as if she hadn’t seen a naked ellon before and the way she blushed when her eyes sort of flew by his gweth. It was intriguing. “That is a pretty name, is it a noldorin one?” 

He did know some quenya and she nodded, a sort of cloud passing over her face. “Yes, my father is noldo” 

Her voice told him she didn’t see eye to eye with her own dad, that was yet another mystery and he became even more intrigued. He walked over to his clothes and picked up his cloak, handed it over to her and she wrapped it around herself with a hint of desperation in her eyes. Was she that afraid of being seen naked by an ellon? Why? The sindar had a very natural view on such things as nudity, nobody saw anything wrong with it and after all, their bodies were something they ought to be proud of and find joy in. He had learned that the Aman elves were very restricted in many ways, and he found that absolutely ridiculous. The valar did perhaps make rules to regulate everything, even peoples sex lives but that was not the will of Eru, he was willing to swear upon that. Back home nobody had cared about such things, it was all accepted and he had bedded both ellyn and ellith alike and found great joy in it too. He stared at her, she still refused to look at him and he had to chuckle, her cheeks burned red and she was blinking constantly, oh he knew how females reacted to his physique, she was as easy to read as an open book.  
“But your mother must have been a Teleri? Or a Vanya?” 

She made a grimace, her voice low, almost demure. “Both actually” 

He cocked his head, in the light from the sun her hair looked like spun mithril and those eyes, oh no gems could do them justice. He got his loincloth and boots on, in this warm weather he didn’t bother wearing anything else and she still blushed like mad. He put his belt with his axes on and then he attached his bow to his back with some straps of leather, he was ready to go. She stared at his tattoos, and his scars. “Ah, you are a sinda yes? Where do you come from?” 

He had to grin. “Well, from the halls if you mean in this life, I was re-embodied two summers ago. But in my first life I lived in a realm called Doriath, under king Thingol and queen Melian of the maiar. I am sorry, I have been rude and forgotten to introduce myself, I am Mablung of Doriath, marchwarden of king Thingol, I am honored to meet you lady Lerina”  
She just stared at him with slack jawed amazement, she had heard that name before, now who the heck was he? 

 

I apologize for the long wait, I have been busy working on a novel with a deadline and I just finished it recently so now I can start updating my fan fic’s again, yaaayyy!


	9. The worth of a favor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lerina and Mablung are getting to know each other but trouble is brewing in Tirion, she gets some bad news and Namò himself has to intervene...

Chapter nine: The worth of a favor. 

 

He could clearly see that his name did cause some sort of reaction but he didn’t think she knew who he was, after all, the sindar and silvan and avarin elves who had been reborn in Aman stayed away from the noldor and they preferred the forests to the cities of the coast. He did know that the story of the fall of Doriath was well known, many had been telling it and it was almost common knowledge but few knew of the details. He smiled, a bit of a sad smile. “I served under king Elu Thingol. And died when he did, as dwarves tried to steal a silmaril from him” 

Lerina swallowed, she had heard about that, but she had only been told that the king had tried to get the silmaril fitted into a necklace and that the dwarves in greed and madness had slain him. “Oh, I am sorry. I…I think I have heard your name, but I cannot remember when” 

He nodded. “I was a marchwarden of the king, one of his best warriors. I tried to protect him and the treasure but the dwarves were too many and took us by surprise, I was cut down in front of the doors to the treasury” 

Lerina shivered, his tone was relaxed, casual, as if being murdered was something quite normal. “That sounds absolutely terrible” 

He grinned. “It was, and I refused to listen to the call too, stayed there as a spirit until the sons of Fëanor came to claim the silmaril, too many died then and I couldn’t refuse the doomsman any longer, we were all dragged to the halls.” 

She froze, stared down. She had heard what the brothers of Maedhros had done, had heard how they were killed as they yet again were slaying their own kin, and all because of the silmarils, those accursed jewels. If only Fëanor had never made them in the first place. “I…you were reborn two years ago?” 

He nodded. “ Indeed, and I have tried to get used to this land and its spirit. I must say it is better than I thought it would be, the forests are grand, and beautiful and I already love them.” 

Lerina tried to smile but her lips felt stiff still, the smile looked a bit forced. “ I am glad, it is very lovely here yes” 

He tilted his head, straightening the tack of the mule and trying to decipher her odd body language. “Have you lived in this area for long? You said you were of Tirion?” 

She nodded. “ Yes, but my daughter and her husband lives here and there was a disease ruining the orchards around the city so I moved here to continue my business” 

He got the mule to move, the animal didn’t like being pulled along but he was so strong it couldn’t resist. “That is a tough way of making a living, in special when you are alone. Do you collect only nuts?” 

He tried to make a pleasant conversation, to make her trust him. He was getting more and more curious and he really wanted to get to know her better, in lots of ways. She blushed slightly, there was a glimpse of pride in her eyes. “ I do collect fruits and berries too, and use them to make everything from jam to dye. It was a very good business before that disease.” 

He realized that she was very dedicated to her work, and proud of it too. “What sort of nuts do you collect? I have been roaming these forest far and wide and know of every holt there is, maybe I can be of some help?”

She sort of made a gesture which could represent both eager surprise and confusion. “ Ah, I do mostly collect walnuts and hazelnuts, and also some other types when they are in season”

He smiled, a warm smile that for some reason made her stomach feel as if there were butterflies trapped within it. “ Do you use those large nuts with white husks and brown stripes?” 

She nodded, eagerly. “Oh yes, many love them, and they are so tasty but they are rare. I have only found one groove of them and it is small” 

He knew what to do now, how to approach this. He had a plan! “I know of several grooves of those trees, most west of the river. I can show you if you like?” 

Lerina hesitated for a few seconds, then her enthusiasm got the better of her, grooves of those trees? That would mean a lot of work and a lot of income too. She nodded. “ Oh yes, please. Is it far?” 

He nodded. “A little more than half a day’s ride so you will have to spend at least one night out there, but I can get you a tent and some equipment and some better mules too. And I will of course help you gather the nuts.” 

She sort of felt a little overwhelmed, this moved forth too fast, but she thought of huge bags of delicious nuts and smiled. Maybe this was a lucky day after all, she didn’t have the courage to ride around in these huge forests looking for the right species of trees. “ That is alright, I am very grateful” 

He smiled and urged the grumpy mule on, the animal tried to bite him but he just punched it in the chest and then it obviously understood that this was someone it couldn’t mess with after all. “I will need a few days to organize the trip, but four days from now? How does that sound?” 

Lerina smiled and tried not to blush again. “ That is great, I will be ready then. I have a lot of baskets we can use” 

Mablung found her zeal a bit endearing, she looked a bit like an elfling who has been promised a very nice new toy and he decided to try to learn more about her before the trip. He had friends who knew almost everything which went on everywhere, they ought to know more about who she really was, and her back story. Lerina kept walking, the dress dried nicely and she gave him his cloak back, eyes to the ground. It felt odd walking there alone with a ner, and one she didn’t even know but she felt safe with him, at least for now. They got back to where the mule had ran out and he lifted the full bag back onto the animal and Lerina did understand that he too was used to working, he was no nobleman but someone who does what needs to be done without complaining. 

An awkward silence fell as they walked towards the small village where Ariniel lived, Lerina didn’t really know what to say and Mablung was whistling some sort of tune while walking next to the mule. She didn’t hear his footsteps at all, he was moving as silently as a ghost and that was a bit unnerving. Lerina tried not to stare at him, he was so different from the elves she was used to, so much more vibrant in some way. His light wasn’t subdued by rules and unwritten laws, it was wild and untamed and she realized that she in him could see how the eldar had been to begin with, just after the awakening. It was like taking a peek at the distant past and she couldn’t help herself, she just had to ask. “What is it like? Middle earth I mean?” 

He turned his head, a bit surprised by her question. “ It is…well, how can I describe it, oh like a multi layered piece of glass, so many details and so much of everything, both good and bad. It is more wild than this place, and much more unpredictable” 

She could see the village gates now and some part of her wanted to make him stay, to prolong the conversation. He was so interesting since he was so different. “What do you mean?” 

He shrugged. “The valar aren’t controlling everything there, you are in charge of your own fate. It is freedom” 

She frowned. “ The valar aren’t controlling stuff? I have never seen them do that?” 

He had to scoff, she was really very naïve in a cute way. “They are Lerina, I bet you have learned to worship them but let me tell you, they can be just as petty and narrow minded as other beings. There is nothing divine about them, other than their powers.” 

Lerina stared at the ground. “My…my husband used to say something like that, but he never said it out like that, so openly” 

Mablung just grinned, there was a challenge in his eyes. “But I dare saying it, and there isn’t a darn thing they can do about it. We didn’t need the valar back then and we doesn’t need them now.” 

Lerina just swallowed hard and tried to smile again. “Your people are probably stronger then, than we are. “

He nodded, the smile a bit mischievous. “Darn right, we have had to grow strong, or die” 

She stopped, the gates were open and she grasped the reins, feeling a bit nervous all of a sudden. “ Well, in four days then?” 

He nodded and bowed slightly. “In four days, I will be here at sunrise, with mules and do you have a horse?” 

Lerina nodded and he smiled. “Great, I will see you then. In the meantime do not attempt to do something that stupid again.” 

She blushed once more, he grasped her hand and kissed it politely and she had to gasp, that custom was something he had had to have learned from some noldo, for the teleri or vanyar didn’t do that. “I…I won’t” 

He grinned again and let go of her hand. “Great, I will see you then” 

He started walking and she stood there for a few moments, just staring at the tall wide shouldered figure as he disappeared into the woods again like some spirit, she felt shaken, why she didn’t know but she realized now that elves could be very different from what she was used to indeed. She dragged the now subdued mule with her to Ariniel’s cabin and tied it up, then she removed the baskets and poured the nuts into some crates made for it. She would have to use a few days to sort them out and remove bad ones before she could sell them. She was busy pouring nuts out of the baskets when Ariniel suddenly came walking out of the door, she looked worried and Lerina immediately got a bit nervous. “Is something wrong dear?” 

Ariniel made a grimace, she held a small note in her hand. “ I just got a message from Alciel, and I don’t like it, not even a bit. There are rumors spreading.”

Lerina frowned. “Rumors? What sort of rumors?” 

Ariniel sat down and Lerina did too, she felt a bit scared that something bad was happening. “Mom, they claim that some noldor are trying to overthrow king Finarfin, to take the throne for themselves. They are noldor who never left Aman, who didn’t follow Fëanor and mother, they say your father is among them” 

Lerina just stared, unblinking. Her father? Oh Eru, he was most certainly capable of that. “What? Oh no, that is…terrible”

Ariniel had never met her grandfather, and she despised him intensely. Lerina knew that Ariniel probably knew more about Lerina’s family than she was willing to admit. It was just the way it was. Ariniel bit her lower lip. “There was something else too…” 

Lerina held her breath. “Yes?”

Ariniel stared down, her hands were busy fidgeting with her sleeve. “ You will not .like this mom”

Lerina sighed, “Sweetheart, I have never liked anything that ner does, so out with it” 

Ariniel took a deep breath. “Alciel had heard from someone close to him who does despise him that he is planning on using you once more. The marriage to ada is annulled after all, and he thinks that it means that he can marry you off again. He already have a suitor ready, someone named Calpon” 

Lerina gasped, for a moment she felt like passing out, hadn’t he given up after all? Couldn’t her father see that she no longer was some pawn he could rule and use as he wanted to? And Calpon? That was a friend of her father with a dubious reputation and a fondness of ignoring others completely to get what he wanted. He was if not an orc then not far from it psychologically. She was panting. “Oh no, did Alciel say anything more?” 

Ariniel shook her head. “She has someone keeping an eye on him, he is in Tirion these days, and there is nothing to suggest that he will be coming for you anytime soon. I will make everybody keep their eyes open in case some of his servants do show up”

Lerina let out a sigh of both relief and despair. She would never be safe again now would she? It was horrible. “ I thank you daughter, these were horrible news. Well, at least I will be spending some days in the forest soon, not likely that he will find me there.” 

Ariniel frowned “ Are you mad? You cannot go out into the great forest alone?” 

Lerina suddenly realized that she had said too much, oh this was going to haunt her! “I…I will not be alone. I met a sinda today who has offered to show me more nut trees, he knew of some huge grooves west of the river” 

Ariniel smiled, and the smile was a sly one. “Mom? A sinda? Tall? Blonde? Drop dead gorgeous I bet?” 

Lerina blushed. “ Ah, he isn’t blond, darker than blonde actually, and yes he is tall but that is not important, he can show me more trees!”

Ariniel tilted her head, there was a glimpse of something devilish in her eyes. “ Oh sure, that matters not, I bet he can show you a lot. What is the name of that handsome stranger? Did he sweep you off your feet?” 

Lerina rolled her eyes. “Look, the mule ran out and jumped into a pond and he rescued me from drowning, so yes, I feel a bit compelled to be nice. That is all, really. His name is Mablung of Doriath” 

Ariniel gasped. “ Oh Eru, I have heard some of the sindar here speak of him, he was like one of the best warriors ever! Mom, if you don’t use this chance I will kick you I swear, you do need some happiness in your life, and imagine, a marchwarden of Thingol! That is a catch mom” 

Lerina felt herself blush, desperately. “Ariniel, you have no business playing matchmaker, I am not interested in him, just the trees he has agreed upon showing me.” 

Ariniel looked like the cat who has caught the canary. “ Yeah right, they say he is even more handsome than ada, so I don’t think I need to play anything, I bet he had you at first glance” 

Lerina remembered that first glance, of him in all his nude glory and her face turned beet red. “Uh, no, and I am busy daughter, so please excuse me”

Ariniel did chuckle. “ So, when are you supposed to meet this prime specimen of masculinity?” 

Lerina felt a need to growl at her daughter. “In four days, he needed to get some more mules first” 

Ariniel got up. “ Mom, like I said, if you let this one pass you by I will by Eru shake you senseless. You cannot mourn ada forever, he would have wanted you to be happy again” 

Lerina didn’t know what to say to that, she couldn’t tell Ariniel the truth so she just sent her a sheepish grin and grasped the basket again. This was going to be some long days indeed. 

 

Mablung had found his horse in a meadow not far from the pond and he rode back to the settlement where he lived. It consisted of mostly sindar elves but also of a huge group of avarin elves from several different tribes and clans. It did also house a few noldor who had lived among the elves of middle earth and had chosen to stay with them also after their rebirth and he was seeking one in special. He sent his horse off to the woods again and walked through the groove of enormous trees. Not one building was on the ground, all were placed along the branches and some were elegantly shaped talans while some were notched and looked rather unique. He stopped and took a look up, a huge talan was built over some very thick branches and it covered an area the size of a football field. The noise told him there were plenty of elves there already and he swiftly climbed the ladder and took a look around. There were elves sitting by the tables everywhere and some maids were running to and fro with cans of beer or wine. The atmosphere was pleasant, and everybody were chatting so the noise was loud. 

He saw that ellon he had been seeking by one of the tables, he sat there with two other former marchwardens and Mablungs old friend Beleg. Obviously Beleg was trying to describe some situation from one of the battles they had been in and Mablung had to grin, being reborn had definitely given his friend a new sort of boyish energy and he was constantly trying to find new and crazy things to do. The dark noldo who sat at the end of the table was patiently listening and Mablung hawked to announce himself and sat down. Circamo grinned and shook his hand and Mablung patted his back. “Well hello there, I haven’t seen you in a while old friend, what brings you to this humble waterhole? I thought you preferred the solitude of the woods?” 

Mablung had gotten to know Circamo not long before he died, he had been an envoy from the court of Finrod Felagund and he had been allowed to stay in Doriath because he was married to a sindar elleth and openly despised the choices the sons of Fëanor had made. Circamo had a reputation for being able to find any form of information, about anyone and really swift too. He had the nose of a bloodhound when it came to gossip and most thought he had been a spy but that had never been confirmed. Circamo was likeable, that was the most surprising thing about him, he was so charming and eloquent most spilled their entire life story without even hesitating. “Well normally I do yes, I have come to ask you a favor, I need to find out more about a person” 

Circamo tilted his head and the soft brown eyes turned sharp like a hawks. “Right, who? And how much do you need to know?” 

Mablung leaned forth and whispered. “An elleth named Lerina, she is if Tirion, probably of a good family, half noldo, a quarter teleri and vanyar.”

Circamo’s eyes got narrow. “Mablung? A noldo elleth? Seriously? There are plenty of sindar or silvan ellith who would give their right arm to bed you, you know this?”

Mablung sighed. “ Yes I do know, but that is not the point of this, I just want to know who she is alright?”

Circamo shrugged. “Fine by me, I don’t care who you are fucking or why, when do you need the info?” 

Mablung shrugged. “As soon as possible?” 

Circamo sighed. “Oh you are demanding now aren’t you but fine, I will see what I can dig up. There are a few noldor living in the village north of here. They come from Tirion so they ought to know a little. I will contact you when I know something”

Mablung patted his back again, in a friendly manner. “Excellent, I am very grateful.” 

Circamo got up. “I’d better be going then, see you later”

Mablung grinned and the others raised their glasses, Circamo looked determined and he knew that the noldo liked a challenge. 

Before long Mablung was engaged in a discussion about whether or not it was true that Thingol was about to be reborn and that Melian would take him back as her husband and he sort of forgot thinking about Lerina for a short while. He got some beer and some wine and when he finally sluggishly climbed onto a guest talan to sleep he could only think of that gorgeous body and those sparkly eyes, he just hoped that Circamo wouldn’t come up with something bad. 

He slept like a log due to the alcohol intake but in his dreams he remembered it all, the shock of seeing a mule with a rider falling down the waterfall, his initial fight or flight response and the slight panic when he realized that the person in the water couldn’t swim. Oh sweet Eru, his loins were aching when he thought of her and he just prayed that she was available, and that she would be willing. He had never reacted thus to an elleth before, even if he had met some very nice specimens over the ages. 

He woke up with a hangover of another world and the feeling of having a fur rug sewn onto his tongue, and there were a sound of huge bells coming from a distance. He shook his head and opened his eyes, it wasn’t bells at all, it was Circamo standing next to him banging a stick against a tin piss bucket. “Awake? Alive?” 

Mablung just groaned and made a grimace. “Yes, and yes, even though I somewhat ache for the halls right now, there were no physical pain there” 

Circamo chuckled. “No, but you are going to be fine, I did find out a lot about that fair maiden of yours, you’d better brace yourself” 

Mablung frowned. “ Uh-oh, is it bad?” 

Circame sat down, cross legged and there was a distant look within his eyes. “Your little lady friend is an enigma Mablung, and by Aüle’s beard, I have never heard so many rumors concerning just one person. It was insane. Those noldor knew everything since they had served at Finwë’s court and they didn’t hesitate at all telling me the juicy details.”

Juicy details? Mablung swallowed hard, was she somewhat connected to some sort of scandal? “Right, spit it out”

Circamo took a deep breath. “Mablung, she was Maedhros wife!”

Mablung almost jumped up but his headache made him just lurch a little. “What?! But…everybody knows that…” 

Circamo nodded. “ Oh yes, everybody who were in middle earth knows that he loved his male cousin and that he preferred Fingon’s ass over any elleth’s tight cunt, but apparently he was married.”

Mablung felt a surge of conflicting feelings rush through him, Maedhros wife? What the hell? He had seen the carnage the sons of Fëanor had created, had seen it first hand. He had fought alongside them in battle and had a sort of reluctant respect for Maedhros. He remembered that tall redhead with just one hand, fighting with a sort of wild fury that frightened even him. Was this mild and tender creature the wife of that savage? Impossible! How could she have loved someone like that? Maedhros had to have been very different before the kinslayings and the whole silmaril mess but still…” I cannot believe you” 

Circamo sent him a sad grin. “You’d better. It was Fêanor who had the marriage arranged, Lerina’s parents are infamous Mablung, power hungry and pious and they treated their daughter like a brood mare, married her off to gain influence. It became quite a scandal.”

Mablung felt appalled, disgusted. An arranged marriage? To the sindar and avarin elves that was an abomination. “Did she want to marry him?”

Circamo shook his head violently. “Heck no, she was terrified they say, hardly more than an elfling. And the wedding was a royal mess, apparently her own parents tried to almost murder her when they discovered that she hadn’t been a maiden on the wedding night.” 

Mablung frowned, she had seemed so shy and innocent? “What? How could they know?”

Circamo grinned, a lewd grin. “Her mother demanded the sheets to be hung out in public and they were clean. No blood, her father went ballistic and interrogated every darn ellon in the entire household. Maedhros took her to a mansion he owned and she stayed there most of the time, hardly showed her face among the other members of the nobility. Why he kept her I don’t know but he was renowned for having quite an appetite in ellith as well as Ellyn so perhaps he did find her useable after all” 

Something about Circamo’s words made him feel angry, she had to have been very scared and if she had had a lover then perhaps she had loved that ellon and been forced to leave him. That was tragic. Circamo continued. “Apparently she suffered a miscarriage too, no wonder considering who small she is and the size of her husband, it must have been like trying to breed a wolfhound to a tiny lap dog. “

Mablung cringed, the mental images he got were not good, not good at all. “ I…see” 

Circamo shrugged. “But then she did get a daughter, and her cousin who had stayed with her since that apparent miscarriage married Fingon. I bet it was just to cover up the truth, that Maedhros and Fingon were lovers. Some say they had orgies, all four of them, but I do not believe those rumors. Lerina was apparently a very dedicated mother and a good wife too, obedient and humble and only living for her family. The darkening and the whole horrible mess with the oath and all almost broke her, at least that is what they said”

Mablung swallowed hard, he could almost see her, a broken and fragile little thing forced to accept that her husband just left her, alone with a child, and probably despised by many too. “That is quite tragic”

Circamo nodded. “Yeah, she even got attacked once, and a maia saved her from being violated. That was when Nerdanel was pregnant with her daughter Alciel, they all moved away from Tirion after that, and Lerina learned to make a living for herself. She may be fragile but there is a solid core in that one.” 

Mablung nodded slowly, his mind was racing. She was a victim, he had to remember that. Whatever hatred he did feel for the Fëanorians shouldn’t affect her, she had been forcefully married to one, she hadn’t chosen it on her own. Yet it was hard to think of it, that she had bedded Maedhros, carried his child. It sort of made him angry to think of it, what if she compared every ellon she met with her dead husband? Mablung almost growled to himself, he had promised her to show her those trees and he was a man of his words, he wouldn’t break a promise and he still felt that odd sensation of attraction.   
Well, at least she was used to Ellyn and could probably handle even someone of his size and vigor. That was encouraging, and he decided that he would see where the trip lead them. If she allowed him to get a little closer he would go for it, fucking her didn’t mean marrying her, not anymore. He would see this as an adventure and a challenge and if she proved to be worth it he could perhaps keep her for a while. It was just that his inner voice sort of protested against his new attitude, he shouldn’t think of her in such a manner but be more honorable and honest. After all she was no longer Maedhros wife but a free elleth and very skilled and probably smart too. She would be a nice catch, and she already had a kid.

He sort of cringed internally, kids? Why would he think of that? He had never wanted elflings when he was alive the first time so why would he think of that now? And from a widow? No, he wanted an affair, and a challenge and some good times and that was it, end of discussion, period. No involvement of the heart, that would only bring agony to them both. He couldn’t marry the widow of a Fëanorian, it would be a mistake of epic proportions or would it? Ah crap, he didn’t know what to think anymore. 

Circamo sighed. “Her dad has tried to annul the marriage since Finwë banished him and his wife from Tirion for having attacked her. He has tried to marry her off again at least once, rumors says that he will try yet again, to gain influence since she still is regarded as a noldorin royal through her daughter”

Mablung stared at his friends with wild eyes. “What? But her father cannot do that? She isn’t some elfling! She doesn’t have to obey him?” 

Circamo made a nasty grin. “Apparently that ellon sees his own daughter as property, to be used as he fancies. If you are interested you’d better make your move, before someone snatches the prize from right under your nose”

Mablung almost hissed. “I will take that into consideration thank you!”

Circamo backed off a bit. “Whoa, I am not a dwarf, no need to bite my head off. You asked for info and info you got”

Mablung managed to smile, a very stiff smile “ Yes, thank you, I am grateful. Now I know what I am dealing with here” 

Circamo frowned. “Let me give you some advice then my friend, for free. You ought to reconsider this, messing with that family is never wise, even if she is hot as hell. She is trouble my friend, real trouble” 

Mablung kept the stiff grin. “Well, that is my middle name so we’ll fit perfectly together don’t you think. Worry not, I want some fun, nothing more” 

Circamo shook his head slowly, there was real concern within his eyes. “ Oh Mablung,, sometimes you are even more stupid headstrong and obsessed than your king, you are trying to believe your own lies and fail at it. Am I right or am I right?” 

Mablung didn’t answer, maybe Circamo was right, but he would rather bathe in orc dung than admit to it. Right, get some mules and meet Lerina again and then he would decide what to do, if he was to end it before it even became more than a chance meeting or if he would pursue her. That was a plan and a good one, he would stick to that. 

 

The next day he went and borrowed some mules and found some camping equipment, he did feel somewhat divided doing it, a part of him was looking forward to it while another part of him were I doubt. What would the others say if they found out he was interested in the widow of a kinslayer? And even worse, a son of Fêanor himself. Mablung had heard a lot of tales about the noldorin prince and his genius but also his madness and he sort of understood that you had to be more than a little mad to force your own son into a marriage with an elleth when he clearly preferred Ellyn. He had of course heard of Maedhros fate, of his capture and rescue and his death. To begin with they had all sort of accepted the reason why the Fëanorians came to middle earth, after all, they all understood the power of grief and vengeance. But when they finally found out what the noldor had done to get there everybody had been horrified. The sons of Fëanor were demonized and even their cousins were regarded with a great deal of suspicion. He remembered that Thingol had been convinced that only Fingolfin with family and the offspring of Finarfin was to be trusted, he saw the sons of Finwê’s first son as abominations.

Mablung went through his memories, and he remembered the good things Maedhros and Maglor had achieved, maybe they were right who claimed that the two oldest sons of Fêanor had been the best ones, that they had been wise and driven only by the love for their father, not belief in that horrible oath. Mablung really wanted to find out what that family had been like before it all started, if they had been tainted even then like some claimed or if Melkor had somehow corrupted them all with his vile lies. He would have to step carefully though, he didn’t want to awaken bad memories and he didn’t want to harm her in any manner, he was just curious. He decided to bring some small gifts as well, as tokens of his goodwill. The customs of his people were very different from the manners of the noldor and he didn’t think she would understand but he could try. 

Lerina spent three days in a state of slight anger, she had been so stupid to say yes, now her daughter and even her law son were sort of teasing her all the time. Lerina just longed to get started to get away from that friendly harassment. She knew that Ariniel just wanted what was best for her but she found it very annoying that she sort of assumed that Lerina was interested in Mablung after just one meeting. She wasn’t! She kept telling herself this until she believed it but there was a sort of voice deep within which downright laughed in scorn at her conviction. She got ready early that morning, got her horse and put on a riding suit which was a bit prudish to say the least but she didn’t want to give him any ideas. She kept thinking about the nuts, that was why she was doing this, he was just her guide, nothing more. 

He did keep his word, when she rode out of the gate he sat waiting by the path, and ten mules with woven baskets were tied behind his grey gelding. The horse stood there and looked half asleep so he had probably waited for a while and she felt herself blush a bit. She hadn’t wanted to be late but he had probably started the day very early indeed. She bowed her head and tried to look professional and friendly but curt. “Greetings, that many mules?” 

He nodded and smiled, he was wearing some dark pants made from deer hide and a sort of west embroidered with odd patterns and his long hair had been carefully braided back into a very intricate pattern. He did look primitive and yet not and she was fascinated by the craftsmanship she saw in his things. The embroideries were exquisite and she did see that he had brought weapons as well as baskets and other equipment. He petted his horse on the neck. “There are many trees there, ten mules is not that many but we can transport at least a ton or two of nuts with these beasts, maybe more.” 

She swallowed, a ton of nuts. It would take quite a lot of work sorting them but it would bring a lot of income indeed. Those nuts were so very sought after and she started thinking that she maybe could send at least some baskets to Tirion. She could make a small fortune that way, and get new customers. The royal court had never been among her customers but now that could perhaps change and it would secure her business for years to come. She would gift Finarfin with a basket, that ought to create some interest. 

Mablung clicked his tongue and the gelding started walking, he touched his bow and quiver with a grin. “ I have brought some weapons just in case, there are wild boar in the woods and bears as well. Not that I anticipate any sort of trouble but one can never be too sure.” 

She saw that he had two axes strapped to the saddle as well, and a slender sword. Axes were an unusual weapon for an elf and she could see that the weapons were rather different from the ones she was used to. These axes were weapons, not tools and they were exquisite and probably very valuable. The blades were crescent shaped and very elegant and only made to cut through flesh and bone. She had to remember that he was a warrior, not a person born in the peace of Aman. “I have never even seen boar in these parts?” 

He nodded. “They do not cross the river, it is too wide and the current too strong. But there are plenty of them to the west, and we hunt them a lot. The meat is delicious”

Lerina frowned as she rode there beside him, she knew that the silvan avari and sindar ate meat more often than the noldor, it was a part of their culture and it made some of the noldor and vanyar look at them with despise. “I have never tasted boar, we rarely eat red meat.”

He tilted his head, those gorgeous eyes were almost hypnotizing. “ I know, but fish is alright isn’t it?”

She nodded hesitantly, the fish markets of Tirion were usually very crowded and the fish usually not very fresh but sought after still the same. Many saw fish as very good for your health and a hefty use of spice camouflaged the fact that it often had gone bad. The telerin fishermen would sell their catch to the other teleri elves who sold it to the noldor and vanyar. She knew that the vanyar were particularly fond of fish since they believed that fish spawned without any sort of sinful activities being needed first. “ It is, I am rather fond of it but we rarely had good fish back in Tirion, it was usually rather old and stale and it did smell to high heavens.” 

He had to scoff. “Ah, then I will see if I can catch some fresh fish and show you how it is meant to be served. There are plenty of fish in the river, I have brought some fishing line and some hooks as well.” 

Lerina found that she was reluctantly getting curious. “I have never learned how to fish, it isn’t regarded as a suitable past time for a nis.” 

He had to laugh. “No? that is peculiar, back in Doriath many of the ellith were very good fishers, we never starved to be sure” 

She had heard a lot about Doriath, that it was a grand underground palace, the thousand caves some called it and she bit her lower lip, feeling a bit too bold and perhaps even a bit naughty showing such curiosity but she couldn’t help herself. “Tell me more about your home, I have heard it was a thousand caves?” 

Mablung chuckled. “I have no idea of how many caves there were, but more than a thousand? Nope, some hundred I think but they were all interconnected so you could perhaps call it a glittering maze instead.” 

She stared at him and he grinned. “ Alright, let me tell you more about the fallen city, I bet you have been fed a lot of lies. “ 

And so he started telling her of his life in Doriath, of the king and queen and her magical girdle, of their daughter and her romance with the mortal Beren and how the king had become entranced by the silmaril and wanted to create something unique with it, thus causing his own death, and the death of so many more. The day did pass by as they rode and Lerina forgot about everything and just listened to him, he was good at telling stories and she both laughed and felt sad. The kingdom of Thingol had been drowned when Beleriand sank beneath the waves and she could hear the sadness in his voice, but also anger as he told her of the second kinslaying. He had been there in spirit and seen it all. She felt her throat going tight, could she tell him who’s widow she was? He would hate her then, knowing she was Maedhros wife, that she had been married to a son of Fëanor. 

But they rode on and reached the river by the afternoon, the horses and mules didn’t hesitate, it was a ford there and the water wasn’t deep but the current was strong so Mablung rode next to her to ensure that her horse didn’t slip. She was getting eager now, the trees there were so huge and beautiful and the forest seemed completely undisturbed and she could swear she heard them singing to her. He did see her fascination and childlike awe and he felt a bit moved by it. There was such innocence in her, and he wondered again who her lover had been. It had to have been a very brave ellon considering what he had heard of her father. Could it have been just a youthful infatuation? A crush? He knew of some ellith who had lost their maidenhood before they had come of age simply because of such storming emotions most hormone ridden youths are bound to experience. And in some cases they had regretted it but then again, his people did regard sex with a very different attitude than the noldor and vanyar. He had been completely aghast when he heard of the vanyar customs and he did pity the vanyar husbands who had to perform their “duty” in a dark room with a wife who just laid there praying the whole time. It had to be absolutely boring in the long run, no wonder the couples usually lived apart after a few years. 

When the sun started to set they came upon the first groove of trees and Lerina gasped and stared. It was a whole forest in itself, huge trees heavy with nuts and she felt herself shiver with zeal. Oh this was going to be wonderful, the nuts were ripe and ready and she thought of break baked with such nuts and her mouth was watering. Mablung saw her expression and grinned, he dismounted and helped her off her horse before he unloaded the pack mule with the tents and equipment. “We can start working tomorrow, it will be dark soon and I want to have the tents erected and a fire going before that. I am hungry too so I guess a meal would be welcome, what do you say? Baked fish with roasted nuts and berries, does that sound good?” 

Lerina heard her stomach rumble and she blushed. “That sounds delicious for sure.”

He smiled widely. “Great, there is a narrow stream not far from here and it is teaming with fish, let me fix the tents and then we will go fishing!” 

She had to smile back, she was getting rather excited, maybe she would be able to catch something? “ I cannot wait! I have never tried that before” 

Mablung winked with a twinkle in his eyes. “Well, there is a first time for everything now isn’t it? “ 

Lerina blushed and nodded and couldn’t help but think that there had been a hidden meaning in those words, or was it just her own rather turbulent emotions who were playing games with her mind? But she did look forward to a good meal, and a nights rest before she went to work. If she would be able to rest with him that close, her heart was doing somersaults in her chest whenever he smiled and she had never felt this silly and stupid before, he had to think she was some moron, blushing and stuttering like an elfling. But she would show him she could work hard the next day, she wanted to impress him, to show him she was able to make herself useful. 

 

As they prepared the tents and the bedrolls and lit a fire a certain vala was walking around in circles, he was frowning and the beautiful face was marked by worry and a hint of anger. He stared at the maia standing in front of him. “Do you believe these rumors?” 

The maia nodded. “ I do my lord, something is most definitely going on, and I have no doubt about their ill intent. They are most certainly convinced that their actions are righteous and that they are doing the right thing, but it is still bad, very bad” 

Namò hissed and his long dark robes slid across the floor as he went over to a huge bowl made from crystal, he stared into the water it contained and made a grimace. “It will be a disaster, they cannot just usurp the throne like that.”

The maia bowed his head. “I know, it will shift the balance in a most negative manner” 

The maia walked a little closer. “ I can of course intervene? “ 

Namò shook his head. “No, we have meddled too much with the affairs of the eldar as we have, they have lost their faith in us and that is our own fault, we have been like overprotective parents and they have righteously rebelled against us. Now we can just do what we can to affect them through subtle methods. I think I have a plan, and I do see a possibility here, one we can exploit to our benefit” 

The maia stared at the shining surface of the water. “ Oh, her? But…is that wise?”

Namò nodded. “Yes, if there is someone out there worthy of some real happiness it is that poor soul, and her meeting that one ner was like Eru’s own hand reaching out to aid us. They will most certainly change a lot. The conspiracy will be ended soon enough, worry not. I will allow the true king to return, he will set them straight” 

The maia nodded and bowed deeply. “ Your wisdom is truly great my lord” 

Namò stared at the water again with a distant look within his eyes, this could flip both ways, it all depended upon her, and her choices. The relationship between the clans could be patched together, if she only allowed herself to follow her heart and forgot about her old fears. There had to be something he could do to encourage her? He grinned widely, Lorien owed him a favor, dreams of a certain type ought to awaken the sleeping natural urges also in that poor shy elleth, and if he knew that sinda right he wouldn’t fail to impress her. Yes, it was a plan. He called a messenger maia to him and told him to deliver that little naughty request to Lorien, it would do the trick for sure. He smiled and wandered off to find a certain spirit among the inhabitants of his realm, if anyone could put the rebellious noldor back into their place it was him, they didn’t need yet another kinslaying.


	10. powerplay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lerina and Mablung gets closer, way closer... and Lerina has to fight her own emotions for she cannot really allow herself to love someone, can she? And a conspiracy is raising its ugly head, can they really hope to overthrow the true rulers?

Chapter 10: Powerplay

The tents were easy to erect and ;Mablung even dug a fire pit and prepared a bonfire for later. He was both swift and efficient and she could clearly see that this was something he was used to do. He had routines for everything, even for where he put the dry wood for later. It felt safe knowing that he was so used to this and she started to compare his kind of wisdom with the rather theoretical knowledge of the noldor and vanyar. Her conclusion was that his knowledge was way more useful than theirs, for it was based on real things.   
When the tents were prepared and her stuff put into one of them he went over and picked some nuts in a woven basket, he did find several types of nuts and Lerina got some berries. There were a huge cluster of bushes not far from the small camp and several species and she filled a bowl to the rim. Then it was time for the fishing and he had found a long thin stick and attached some line made from hair to it and used some pieces of dried meat as bait. The river was not very wide, but it was rather deep and the current strong and she felt a little uncertain yet again. With everything they did she revealed just how inexperienced she was, how different she had to be from the females he was used to. She longed to be like them, sure of herself, strong, confident and proud but she knew she was lacking a lot if she compared herself with the Sindarin females she had met.   
He tossed the bait and the hook in and showed her how to hold the rod and move the bait through the water and after a little she forgot about her doubts for this was both fun and exciting. He told her of the different types of fish which lived in the rivers and lakes, of how to catch them and how to cook them and she listened with her ears wide open and a sort of trustful naivety that was rather endearing. He had never had such an attentive student before, she was like a sponge, soaking everything in and eager for more. Mablung did land a couple of rather small trout and Lerina continued to try for she wanted to contribute too and suddenly she felt that something jerked at the line and she almost fell in for the fish seemed to be very strong indeed. She yelled and started pulling and soon it became apparent that this was no mere trout, this was something much larger and way more aggressive and tough. The fish was fighting her and she didn’t want to lose, no way.   
He stood there and watched as she swore and struggled and something within him did find it kind of fascinating that she was this stubborn, and strong willed. It was just that her strong will had been subdued and choked by the environment she had lived in and he was quite surprised by the small glimpses he got of her real personality when it emerged. Finally she managed to land the fish and she was panting and her eyes were shining and Mablung whistled and grinned. “That is a huge thalakk, a sort of salmon. They are delicious but hard to catch, well done indeed!”  
She stood there beaming with pride as he killed the fish and started gutting it. It was enough meat on that one fish to feed them for two whole days and when he was finished with the gory job he hung the fish over his shoulder and they returned to the camp. He got a fire going and now he showed her how they roasted nuts with some salt and honey on a flat thin piece of slate over the fire. The fish he cut into several pieces and wrapped them in the leaves of a plant which added some nice flavor to the meat and he did also wrap some herbs around each piece and then he took some clay, flattened it and wrapped it around each piece. Lerina just stared and he grinned and understood that she knew nothing about how to fend for herself out in the wild. “When the fire dies down a little I will put each pack into the embers, it will cook the fish rather fast and when we hear the clay crack we know it is done”   
She felt a spark of pride, she had managed to catch a huge fish, and land it too and she was looking forward to some food for she felt famished. It was odd, usually she didn’t have such good appetite. While they waited for the fish to be cooked he entertained her with stories about the things he had seen over the sundering sea and he described the animals and the people. She was very curious about the second born and the dwarves and the fact that dwarf females had beards made her giggle and gasp. Mablung realized that she in many ways was like a child, completely ignorant and like a blank page and in other ways she had a lot of baggage and he suspected that little of it was good. He could see that in her sometimes shy glances, the way she said something and then doubted her own words and excused herself for having said something stupid. She was used to being scolded and held down, to be treated like she was a thing, someone who wasn’t supposed to have a voice or a will of her own and he felt angry because of that. She reminded him of a falcon with its wings cut, trapped in a golden cage. Sooner or later it would perish and he wanted to see if he could free her and make her test her wings yet again.   
The fish got finished and they ate on some huge thick leaves, Lerina couldn’t believe that fish could taste that good, it was delicious and she found that the nuts and berries too were good. She ate until she felt completely stuffed and Mablung had brought some wine and gave her a cup of it. She accepted and drank eagerly and he had to laugh and tell her to slow down, it was a very potent wine and she wasn’t used to it. The darkness had fallen and the bonfire threw a sort of gentle light over the camp, she felt drowsy and relaxed and at ease, it was an odd sensation really. Mablung was pointing at the different constellations and telling her their names and stories in Sindarin and she tried to keep up with his very interesting tales but she was getting too tired. Finally he sat up and grinned, pushed some dirt over the embers. “I think we should get some sleep now, there will be a lot to do tomorrow”   
She nodded and got up, felt tipsy and giggled and felt just silly when he grasped her elbow to give her some support. “ You really aren’t used to wine now are you”   
She shook her head. “No, I wasn’t allowed any before I got married, and …hick…mom was afraid I would get fat so I wasn’t given much food neither”   
He frowned. “Really? That sounds…rather terrible if you ask me?”   
She nodded and leaned onto the strong arm which was supporting her. “It was, I was always hungry but she thought that a nis should be skinny, to show she is in control of herself. My…my husband said I looked like a child”   
Mablung blinked, he couldn’t reveal how much he did know so he sort of made a sheepish grin. “You don’t look that way now, that is for certain”   
She almost burped and her eyes got wide, she covered her mouth. “Do you think I am fat?”   
He shook his head, shocked by the hurt in her voice. “ Absolutely not, you are perfect”   
She suddenly beamed. “Really? You think so?”   
He nodded and gathered his courage, let a huge worn hand slide over her backside in a very swift caress. She gasped and giggled but her eyes told of confusion and a wee bit of shock. “Yes, you are perfect, do never doubt that. Any ellon would be glad to be near you”   
She giggled again and he helped her open the flap to her tent, oh Eru she was so…He couldn’t really describe it. He gave her a polite bow and let the flap down, returned to the campfire and made sure it couldn’t rekindle itself, then he checked upon the horses and mules and sat down next to his own tent to think things over. She tempted him, oh Eru how she tempted him. He longed desperately to run his fingers through that long incredible hair, to caress every inch of smooth perfect skin, to hear her moan his name and feel her body writhe against his own. By every vala known, he was torturing himself, he’d better get to bed before he did something stupid. With a low curse he crept into the tent, rolled himself into his blankets and went to bed. He would have to force himself to sleep now, but tomorrow would be yet another day and nobody knew what it might bring. 

The palace was brightly lit by torches and lamps and the wide corridors and huge gardens were guarded well, yet there were places where people could meet unseen and this night some were. A small group of elves had gathered in a room usually used for the storage of extra furniture for the great feasts but now it was empty since the walls were scheduled to be repainted. The elves were staring at each other, some were a bit pale, while others seemed rather undisturbed by the news one of them had caught wind of. One of them sighed, straightened himself. “So, what do we do? How much time do we have?”   
The one who had delivered the message shrugged. “The maiar I overheard spoke about two days, three at the most, then he will return. “   
The leader made a grimace. “Damnation, we cannot do much in two days”   
A tall blond elf tilted his head. “No? We all know that those darn Fëanorions are very close, aren’t that bitch of a nis here at the moment?”   
The leader frowned. “And you are suggesting?”   
The blond looked smug. “Oh, if she went say missing, wouldn’t the others do whatever they could to get her back, unharmed? Like ..abdicating?”   
The elves there looked at each other, eyes were shining, yes, the plan was a good one, the Feanorions would never allow one of their own to come to harm. The leader turned to another ner, dark haired and with a grumpy face. “And your plans my friend? How are they going?”   
Lerina’s father sent the leader a rather grim smile. “Very well, I will ride to her soon, and she will of course obey me. Through that marriage we will have access to the court again, and we can start to gather followers, and gain some real influence”   
The leader smiled but the smile didn’t reach his eyes, he looked just cold. “Brilliant, make it so. I know the widow of Fëanor is rather fond of her, they won’t allow her to be harmed neither. We will strike two birds with one throw thus”   
They all nodded, pleased with their decision and the leader grinned, a slow ominous grin. “So, who volunteers to catch that little wildcat?”

When Lerina woke up she felt a bit confused but then she remembered and felt excitement rush through her, she got up and found a skirt and a blouse in her bag of clothes and prepared herself for a day of work. She braided her hair and saw that the weather was perfect outside, and her excitement got the better of her so she started to hum and whistle as she rolled her bedroll up and got out. Mablung was already up, he sat by the firepit and had rekindled it, heating some water for tea and he had two large rolls of bread dough laid onto the flat piece of slate to bake them. Lerina had never seen that type of bread before but it did smell good and she suddenly felt hungry again. Her mother would have thrown a tantrum had she seen what her daughter did now. But Lerina did no longer feel guilty when she ate and she sat down and smiled to the huge sinda who nodded back and turned the breads. “This was something every soldier had to learn, we often stayed out in the woods for months and had to be able to cook”   
She understood that and before long the bread was done and he found a small jar of honey and handed it over to her. “Try this, it will taste marvelous as long as the bread is still warm”  
She saw that he simply ripped pieces of bread out of the large loaf and poured honey onto them and she did the same, he was right, it did taste divine and she ate almost the entire loaf before she started feeling full. Mablung licked the honey of his fingers and for some reason the sight made her feel a bit weird, she blushed and looked away and he got up and started gesturing towards the trees. “I think we have to do this systematically, one tree at a time but we have to leave some nuts behind for the squirrels and other animals. We are not greedy edain. “   
Lerina had started to recognize his Sindarin words and nodded, she knew that humans tended to take more than they needed and that it was bad. They carried some baskets over to the first trees and started picking up the nuts which had fallen to the ground. Lerina felt happy, there was so many nuts there and she sang as she worked. Mablung was a bit impressed by her zeal and her ability to just drown herself in her work. Before long the first basket was full and Lerina climbed up into the tree to shake the branches. She had done that a lot the last years, and she had become a good climber and so she didn’t hesitate at all. She went up like a squirrel and Mablung just stared, a bit shocked by her lack of fear. He had expected that shaking the branches would be his job. She almost ran out over the thick branches and stood with her feet on one branch each since there were two which ran parallel to each other with just a few feet apart and she started shifting her weight back and forth to make the tree sway. But these two branches were thicker than she was and very sturdy and she did grunt and try harder and Mablung did walk over, just out of sheer politeness. “Do you need some help?”   
He took a peek upwards and immediately froze, he hadn’t been thinking. She stood there above him in a skirt with her legs apart and Eru, had nobody taught that elleth about underwear?! He blinked and stared down at the ground but what he had seen was burned into his mind, oh sweet Elbereth, he had gotten a very intimate view of her intimate areas and it did have its effect. Shit, he would have to watch himself, or else he would do something not very smart. Lerina didn’t notice his little dilemma at all and continued working, happily humming and singing and he concentrated on the fallen nuts, not his own, even though it was rather tough there and then. She had been perfect there too and the mental images it sort of unleashed had nothing to do with foraging at all!   
But they did work well together and as they both relaxed their conversation ran more easily, became friendly banter and jokes and he sort of managed to get a view of her life in Tirion. She didn’t reveal who her husband had been but he realized that she had been fairly happy with him, and that he had protected her and shielded her and tried to make her stronger and more free. She told him of the library where she had learned so much, and of her niece who had been so dear to her and of her daughters first years and the joy she had brought. He did find that a bit endearing, that she was so loving and fond of her family, it was a good trait and one he liked. She was actually rather lively and impulsive and yet she held back, as if there was something she didn’t want to speak about, or some secret she was afraid to reveal. That was intriguing and he tried to ask her tiny questions which seemed innocent enough but lead to her revealing more.   
She asked him questions too, and he did his best to answer them even though some were bizarre and he tried to avoid speaking of the battles he had fought and the blood he had shed. But he did tell her of the times when he had fought small groups of orcs and the tactics he had used and of the injuries he had received too, just to sound a bit heroic. After all, he did want to brag a little about his skills. Lerina listened and she went strangely quiet when he told of the one time a fellow soldier, a female, had been caught by some orcs and they had managed to rescue her just in the nick of time. His strong instinct immediately told him that something was off and he remembered what he had been told, that she had been attacked. “Lerina? What is wrong, has anyone ever tried to hurt you?”   
She froze, her huge eyes got even larger and for a moment she reminded him of a doe caught in the middle of a pack of blood thirsty hounds. She was pale and he was quick to continue. “I have upset you, please, you do not need to tell me anything”   
She cocked her head, stared at him. He of all elves would understand this, for the world he had lived in had been wild and dangerous and being caught by the enemy would usually mean both torture and death, he had a better knowledge of such matters than the elves of Aman. She felt that she ought to tell him, that her secrets were safe with him, at least the emotional ones. She stared down, fidgeting with her blouse, feeling how her heart was beating wildly in her chest. “Some did try to hurt me yes, twice. First I was at a feast in the palace and two ner tried to…have their way with me. I was saved in the last minute, and then after…after the darkening a group attacked me, but a maia saved me”  
Mablung had to swallow hard, twice? Oh Eru poor thing, these Aman elves were so unaccustomed to the threat of violence and death and she was a very shielded person, she had probably never been faced with the possibility of such things at all. He had only heard of the incident with the maia and he tried to make his voice calm and soothing. “But you got away unharmed?”   
She bit her lower lip. “The first attack almost made me fade, my niece saved me though. But…but I couldn’t bare to face everybody and I was ill for a long time so my family…they lied and said I had lost a pregnancy, just to avoid a scandal”   
He felt a surge of mixed emotions, so she hadn’t lost a child after all, that was encouraging and yet the information sort of shocked him. Her daughter had been born before this incident for sure? “Was that after Ariniel was born?”   
She shook her head. “No, before, some years before”   
He tilted his head, she had almost been raped. She didn’t have to say the word but he knew the signs, saw it now in the way she acted towards him, the shyness, the lack of complete trust, the way she would cringe if he came too close without a warning. He should have understood it before but he just hadn’t thought of it. Oh poor poor thing, so young and probably terrified, no wonder she was close to fading. He had dealt with elves who had been violated before, by orcs and in fact a couple by humans, young ellith who had made the mistake of thinking that human males would act just like Ellyn. It sometimes killed them but most survived, since they were aware of the danger and mentally prepared. Elves from Aman on the other hand always perished, the shock was simply too much for them, they didn’t even have a word for the foul deed and he thought grimly that those who claimed that the noldor and vanyar were weak was right in many ways. For they were, they were like children who never have learned what it means to be an adult and continues to see the world as a playground until it is too late and the local monsters rear their ugly heads.   
But that meant that she had become pregnant after this incident and well, either she had overcome the trauma or her husband had been an insensitive bastard and forced himself upon her. He would have to find out which answer was the right one. “ I am so sorry to hear about this, it must have been so hard on you”   
She smiled, a rather dim smile. “It was, but…but I survived, and then Ariniel was born and …things were alright again”   
Mablung started to wonder if they really had been alright, there was something odd in her voice and he remembered what he had heard of Maedhros. He had been known as a womanizer before he got married, and he did in fact prefer males? He could have been rather insensitive then, and one who saw females as something to be used but then again, he had obviously taken good care of her, shielded her from her dirtbag parents and given her a better life. The truth was hard to find, he would have to dig some more.   
He sort of threw the conversation over into another direction, started chatting about the trees of Doriath and their beauty and she returned to her good mood again, lightening up and listening attentively. It was just when things got personal that she acted like some sort of clam, keeping her mouth shut and freezing up. He wanted to unravel this mystery, he felt like a bloodhound on a blood fresh track, sniffing his prey down. They filled many baskets and he suggested that they could weave some simple ones from reeds and willow branches and fill them and leave them behind for later, the idea got her ablaze with zeal for she wanted to gather more nuts than what the mules could carry and if they just left the squirrels and other animals would take it all. The day got very warm and Mablung sighed and ordered her to stop working, they had filled four huge baskets with excellent nuts and she had made sure that they had sorted out the bad ones before they went in the baskets so she wouldn’t have to do that when they got back. That would save her a lot of time. “We’d better call it a day, it is getting too hot to work now.”   
Lerina nodded, she felt a bit stiff and yes, she was very warm and felt a bit uncomfortable. They returned to the camp and drank some water and ate the last of the bread. Mablung had saved some of the fish and Lerina felt very pleased with her results this day. He was very fast and worked hard and he knew so much too, talking to him made the hard work into something she enjoyed and she felt that she did deserve some rest. She returned to the tent for a little nap and Mablung told her he was going to the river to take a bath, he wouldn’t be far away. He strolled down to the river and found a rather large slow flowing section not far from the camp, the water was rather pleasant and the shore consisted of a huge area of rock which the water had worked on for centuries so it was smooth as a dance floor and almost completely flat, angled just a little towards the water. It was a perfect place for a sunbath and he shed his clothes and dove in. The water did cool him down and he got back onto land and laid down on the warm rock just to relax. It felt wonderful and before long he dozed off, sensing that there was no danger there.   
Lerina had problems falling asleep, she felt restless in spite of being tired and she didn’t quite know what to do, or what to think. She liked him, in fact she liked him a lot but she was also afraid because she knew that he would turn his back on her the moment he realized who she really was, and she didn’t want to lose him. She had to be honest with herself, she had never felt so at ease with a ner before, he treated her with such respect and didn’t act as if she was some kid who needed to be taught even the smallest thing. It felt odd, and good and she didn’t want it to end. But he did awake strange feelings in her too, the way he moved, those amazing eyes with the dark lashes which made the color even more striking, the deep voice. It gave her goosebumps and she wasn’t stupid. She knew she felt attracted to him, physically and it terrified her. She couldn’t go further with it, that was the grim truth, not without revealing her greatest secret, the one she didn’t want to reveal to anyone. She couldn’t tell him she was untouched, that her daughter wasn’t her own, but born out of wedlock after her cousin had had a threesome with Lerina’s husband and his cousin. She didn’t trust him to keep his mouth shut if he found out, and Ariniel shouldn’t have to hear the truth from someone else, Lerina didn’t possess the courage to tell Ariniel the truth herself, in fear of hurting her most precious gift.   
She would have to keep him at bay, make sure they only remained friends but that would be hard for she knew he liked her, she wasn’t blind, it was in his eyes the whole time. She would have to come up with some excuse, that she felt it would be wrong to sleep with him, considering the fact that she was a widow. She could play prudent, claim that it would be immoral to have sex with someone again, that she still owed her late husband her allegiance and fidelity. That was it, she could go with that one, it was believable.   
But still she couldn’t sleep and so she got up and decided to go for a stroll, and the river did cool the air a bit so she headed in that direction. She washed her feet, splashed some water in her face and sighed with relief, having made a decision made everything seem a little bit more orderly, more easy to control. She started to walk along the shore, without really thinking about what she was doing and then suddenly she remembered that he had gone to bathe and she hadn’t heard anything at all, no splashing. She got a bit worried, could something have happened to him? She picked up her speed and made her way through some bushes and then she stared at a turn in the river and she let out a sigh of relief when she saw that he laid on the river bank, asleep. She was about to turn around and return to the camp when she felt the urge to just stand there, and stare. She had seen him before but now he laid there on his stomach, his head resting on his arms and he was quite a sight to behold. Maedhros had never gotten tanned, after all he was a redhead but Mablung was like a copper kettle, and extremely athletic too. She had to stop and admire the elegant lines and the toned muscles and she felt herself blush. Now what the heck was she doing? This was wrong, very wrong, and yet she couldn’t pull her eyes away from him. He looked so peaceful, so beautiful and she had hardly ever seen such an enticing sight. She hid behind the bushes, just admiring the view when he let out a sort of soft gasp and moved and she almost yelped when she realized that he was rolling over onto his back, and he was clearly aroused.   
Mablung had been fast asleep when his instincts told him someone was near, he had woken up immediately but he didn’t move and he just laid there, allowing his keen senses to go to work. He heard a very faint rustle in dry leaves along the river bank and the wind brought a whiff of a scent he recognized, it was Lerina. She used a sort of soap which smelled of lavender and he hid a grin. So she hadn’t been able to sleep? She didn’t get any closer and he got an idea, he didn’t know if it was a good one but some devil did possess him and he felt that he was getting hard. Being watched felt oddly stimulating and he decided to see how far he could go before she bolted, maybe he even could trigger some reactions of the more pleasurable kind also in her? He stretched out in a deliberately sensual manner and moaned, he didn’t know if she was close enough to see everything but he could sure as hell pretend that she was. And he needed it too, the small mishap with the branches and the skirt had awakened his lust and he would have a hard time getting some real sleep without releasing some of the tension first. So he rolled over and started caressing his own skin, almost making a show of it. He pinched his own nipples and gasped, trying to angle himself so that she could see everything and yet without revealing that he knew she was there.   
It was exciting, could he turn her on too? The idea of her hiding in the bushes, touching herself almost made him frantic, he started stroking himself hard, moaning and writhing and he didn’t try to hide his pleasure at all. Normally he wasn’t that loud but now he threw every reservation he had ever had aside and tried to really make her hear how good this felt. He wouldn’t last but he tried to hold back for as long as he could, to give the little display maximum impact upon her and he just hoped she was still there, watching him.   
Lerina felt her cheeks burn, her ears too, she wanted to run and flee but she couldn’t, if she got up and ran he would hear her for sure and she was so ashamed of herself and yet she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him. It was so intimate, and it felt so wrong watching this and at the same time it was tantalizing. She had heard Maedhros and Fingon making love quite a few times and she had even seen them once, in the garden. But that hadn’t affect her thus, this on the other hand did. She saw his hand move up and down his shaft and seeing his male parts erect was something very different from seeing them flaccid, it created an odd almost hollow feeling inside of her and she bit her lower lip to choke a whimper. He was breathing hard and making such wanton sounds and his hips were moving, thrusting against his grip. It made her legs feel weak, and her own heart was speeding up. Oh Eru, what was she feeling now? And why? But this was all that she could allow to happen, to simply watch and she started to mourn that fact, but she had to be adamant now, and not give in to some simple flare of physical need. It could ruin everything if she gave in, for would he be able to keep his mouth shut and not reveal the truth?   
Suddenly he tensed up, rolled over onto his side and let out a hoarse roar and she could see it, see him coming, spurting thick ropes of seed over the rock next to him and it made that odd feeling in her so much stronger, so strong she sort of forced herself back up and she ran, back to the camp, with a feeling of being set aflame. She did hear him moan her name once before she got out of the bushes and the sound of that almost made her legs buckle again. Oh Eru, she should leave but she couldn’t, being there with him did endanger her virtue in so many ways for she didn’t trust her own strength, not anymore. He was too darn nice, that was the problem. Had he been curt or unpleasant it wouldn’t have been a problem at all but she liked him, she liked him a lot. How was she to avoid doing something very silly?   
Mablung heard her leave, she sounded as if she was running off in a fit of panic and he grinned to himself and allowed himself to relax completely. The post orgasmic haze almost knocked him out and he just laid there for a while, enjoying the aftershocks and the relaxed sensation. Then he got up a bit reluctantly, washed himself, got clothed again and walked back to the camp, only to find her by the firepit, desperately working on a basket. It was obvious that she tried to ignore certain feelings and she tried to pretend as if nothing was wrong at all but he did see her hands tremble and her voice was a bit tense too. He on the other hand managed to pretend that nothing had happened with ease, he was his usual friendly self, telling her small anecdotes about the sindar and their culture and how it was compared with that of the avarin elves and after a while she seemed to cool down and she started to listen again.   
He hid a grin, how long could he tempt her before she gave in and told him what she wanted? Now this was a true challenge and he knew how to seduce females, he would take this slowly, very slowly indeed. Lerina spoke of the palace in Tirion, and of the life at court and they both agreed that the vanyar elves were a bunch of nitwits and she sort of thawed again and laughed and enjoyed the conversation. They ate the last of the fish and he gave her another cup of wine and she didn’t drink as fast this time, she took her sweet time with it, she had learned. Darkness fell and he entertained her with some very pretty ballads from Doriath, telling of their minstrel Daeron and his unfortunate infatuation with Luthien and how he always bragged about being the best singer there was. Mablung remembered Daeron as a young ellon who had sounded a bit like a crow with something stuck in its throat at a stage in his life and it made Lerina laugh heartily. She told of Maglor and his talent and Mablung didn’t reveal that he knew the minstrel had been her brother in law, he just told of the many who had wanted to get those two together to see which one was the best, once and for all.   
But nighttime came and they both returned to their tents, tired and with different things in mind. Mablung was looking forward to the next day, to see if he could win her over in the time they would spend there. Lerina was determined to remain on a friendly level and her own reactions did confuse and frighten her, after all, she had never felt such attraction before. She did fall asleep and hoped that they could work the entire next day, hard labor ought to keep her thoughts on the straight and narrow. Unfortunately a certain vala had gotten the message Namò wrote and she soon slipped into a dream. Lorien had understood what Namò wanted and he did obey, although reluctantly, asking to send someone that sort of a dream was a first, at least from that vala.  
She was by the bank once more, staring at him as he was pleasuring himself, listening to his soft moans and this time she wasn’t running away but kneeling down, letting her own hand slide up underneath her skirts. And then all of a sudden she was naked and she wasn’t by the river anymore but in some room on a bed and warm worn hands were caressing her and she was gasping as surges of strange new sensations rushed through her. It felt so good and yet it frightened her and she was hollow and unfulfilled and needed….she didn’t know what she needed really.   
But she was gasping and panting, feeling as if every nerve in her body was aflame and she could feel how slick wetness spread between her legs, how those secret areas were throbbing and she ground herself against him, feeling a new sort of desperation. She knew she was dreaming and she was feeling aghast by her own shameless desire and then some part of her yelled at her that this was her mother speaking, and that it was wrong to be ashamed. But the strength of it scared her and she wasn’t familiar with her own needs at all. She had no way of controlling this and she suddenly felt warm hardness press against her and she let out a shriek, thrusting her hips against it and she woke up, panting and wild eyed and terribly confused. She was aching, no other word could describe it and she whimpered and realized that she had pulled her blanket into a tight roll and had been humping that like some bitch in heat. Oh Eru, she was …she was shameless!   
Then the tent flap was pulled aside and Mablung entered, looking worried. “Lerina, are you okay? You screamed! Are you having nightmares?”   
She pressed her blankets tighter around herself, almost sobbing, her eyes were huge and he could see a faint shimmer of sweat on her forehead, and then he could smell it. It sent his senses reeling, she did ooze of arousal and he had to fight hard not to moan and sniff her like some animal. “I….”   
She didn’t manage to speak at all, her body was completely out of her control and if she moved she was afraid she would pull him over her and lose the battle completely. He sat down, gently and slowly, his eyes were gentle and his voice smooth and soothing. “Lerina, what is wrong? You can tell me”   
She whimpered, having him this close, smelling his masculine scent and feeling the heat from him was simply too much. “ I…I watched you…by the river”   
She didn’t know why she did confess this but she couldn’t think straight, all she could think about was this new alien feeling of need, of hunger. She wanted but she didn’t know what she wanted, or yes, she did but she couldn’t. It wasn’t that she was afraid of pain, for if he took her now it would hurt, but she was afraid of having to reveal that her entire life was based upon lies. He sighed and reached out, let a hand slide through her hair and she jerked like a nervous horse and squealed.   
“You have had one of those dreams now haven’t you? And now you need someone’s touch?”   
She gasped, her hand shivering and her body felt as if it wasn’t her own anymore. She had to rub her thighs together and a hot sensation just rushed through her and made her gasp and moan. Mablung was a bit confused, she was horny as hell no doubt but why hadn’t she touched herself? Not that he mourned the fact that he had arrived before she could solve the problem on her own, now was his chance and he had to play his cards well. He leaned in and caught her lips in a very gentle light kiss, barely more than a peck. “ I will be very glad to help you Lerina, believe me, you shouldn’t have to suffer”   
She moaned again, her eyes on the ground and her breath fast. “I…I can’t. You will hate me Mablung, you don’t know who I really am”   
He slid closer, pulled her into a hug and felt her tremble, oh by every sacred being, she had some odd reactions for sure. “Lerina, I told a friend of mine of you, that I was taking you out here, and he knew who you are. He told me, I am sorry I haven’t told you but it doesn’t matter”   
She just stared, as if he had fallen down form the moon or something. “It doesn’t?”   
Her voice was thin, pleading, and he did pity her so much. “No, it doesn’t matter. I want you Lerina and I would have wanted you even if you had been Melkor’s wife.”   
She squealed. “But…we can’t…I…I cannot let you…in”   
He swallowed his disappointment and knew she probably had some problems regarding what she had been through, but sooner or later she would give in to him. “That is alright little one, I don’t have to take you to offer you release, do you trust me?”   
She closed her eyes and nodded and he felt a surge of triumph, it was going the right way. “Then just relax, let me please you and worship you like you truly deserve”   
He pulled the blankets aside and she gasped and made a gesture as if to shield herself from his view but then she gave in and he pulled her shift up, revealed her body in all its exquisite beauty. She whimpered, an arm over her face, trembling and so desperate, so wanton. He leaned down, then he gently kissed her again and she sort of floated against him, helpless. He wondered what had caused her to become so needy so fast, erotic dreams could of course turn you on but this much?   
Oh, there had to be ages since she got some last, that could be the explanation and he wasn’t complaining, not at all! He then went for it, licking her neck while his hand slid down between her smooth thighs and she shook all over. The silky hairs of her sex were sopping wet and he knew she was close already. Then he kissed and sucked her nipples and enjoyed feeling her arch up against him, moaning. He was getting very aroused too but he sort of pushed his own feelings aside, now he had to concentrate on her, and her alone and he let a finger glide gently and slowly in between her nether lips and found her clit and she let out a yell, then she started to shake almost violently and he knew she simply was too sensitive now so he pushed himself down along her body and let his tongue do the work instead. Lerina gasped, what in Eru’s name was he doing down there and …She threw her head back as pleasure exploded through her, this couldn’t be real, she had to be dreaming still, he couldn’t really be licking her down there?!   
But the sensation was real for sure and it was too much, too strong, too good and she grasped onto locks of long dark hair and tried to both keep him in place and push him aside at the same time and she forgot how to think! Waves of exquisite pleasure flew through every nerve in her body but it all congregated down there and it made her keen and mewl, hopelessly lost to her newly awakened need.  
He kept teasing her a bit before he added more pressure, enjoying her sounds and the sensation of her bucking against him, pleading for more. She tasted divine too, and he started teasing her with a finger too and she tensed up, arching again, he added some suction and she screamed, trembling as the orgasm rushed through her and he could feel her muscles spasm and it almost made him come too, untouched. He kept licking until she came down from the intense high and she was sobbing and whimpering, wet with sweat and her eyes were enormous and filled with shock and confusion. He got up onto his elbows, staring at her and then he realized that her reaction was that of one who never has had a real orgasm before and he frowned. What the hell? Had that overly tall redhead been a complete disaster in bed? He had to have been if he hadn’t managed to make his own wife come even once!   
Lerina couldn’t believe it, she hadn’t even considered the possibility of something feeling thus, so overwhelming. Saeriel had tried to explain the joys of such intimate acts to her but she had sort of turned a deaf ear to the careful instructions, now she knew that her niece hadn’t been lying at all. It did feel….well, beyond description and she knew she never would have dared to explore this on her own. She bit her lower lip, and sat up, feeling a bit wobbly and terribly insecure. What did he think of her now? She had acted like some darn animal in heat, with no restraint whatsoever. She wished the earth could open up and swallow her whole and she shook with a very volatile mix of emotions.   
Mablung saw her unease and the mystery that was her past just got even deeper, he knew that some vanyar were so mad that they thought a female shouldn’t feel any pleasure at all but had her mother been of those imbecile morons? “Are you alright?”   
His voice was soft and low and he crawled up next to her and laid down, his groin was aching like mad but he ignored his own need, this was something odd indeed. She sort of yelped and tried to pull the blankets over herself again and he deliberately put his weight onto them, hindered her. Instead he grasped her and pulled her down, allowed her to lie next to him and she shook again but relaxed as he started to gently stroke her arm, up and down in a hypnotic rhythm. It was like soothing a scared animal and she was close to tears, he could see it. She swallowed. “Y…yes. I guess so”   
He sighed and grasped the blankets, pulled them up and let them cover them both, allowed her to rest her head on his shoulder and she sort of surrendered, allowed herself to relax. “You have never felt like that before now have you?”   
She didn’t answer and he knew from her silence that he was right, this had been the first time she really had cum and that made him quite humble indeed. It was an honor and a privilege to show her true pleasure for the first time and he felt an odd sense of tenderness awaken in his heart. Lerina just laid there, feeling both wonderful and conflicted and she whispered. “I…thank you…but….”   
He held her hand. “Yes?”   
She hid her face against his neck, his scent was almost addictive and she fought her own feelings with all her might. “I can’t go…all the way, it wouldn’t be right! I feel that I still owe my husband to stay true to him”   
Mablung hid a grimace and a wry grin, yeah right, if he ever had heard a thin excuse it was this. She had wanted him and she had been more than ready so why wouldn’t she let him do it and fuck her? He would get to the bottom of this, one way or the other! Had perhaps Maedhros been rough with her? Or did she have problems because of the attacks? Could it simply be physical? She was rather petite and he knew that not all females could handle someone well endowed without feeling considerable discomfort or even pain. She was shivering a bit still and he kissed her cheek. “That is alright little one, just relax. I will never do anything you doesn’t want too. But now I think you need some sleep, am I right?”   
She nodded slowly, to tell the truth she felt like a wrung out cloth and it felt good laying there close to him, it felt warm and she also felt protected. She nodded shyly and he yawned deliberately and put an arm around her. “ I will stay here Lerina, don’t be afraid. I will wake you up if you start dreaming again”   
She blushed but managed to relax, to let the heavy drowsy feeling overtake her. It didn’t take long before she was fast asleep and he stayed awake for a little longer, deeply intrigued by these odd things he had learned about her and his own feelings. Was he falling in love? He had to admit that he wasn’t sure, but it wouldn’t take much before he did, and he wasn’t sure if that was a good idea or not but destiny sometimes must be allowed to run its course and he knew that he found her more fascinating than any other female he had met. He too allowed himself to drift into sleep again and he just hoped that this would speed things up. 

In Tirion Alciel had been working with Nerdanel for a few weeks, they were to finish some statues of Fëanor and Finwë and also a few of Fëanor’s sons and Nerdanel was tired and very nervous. She had worked so hard clearing her husband’s name and the rumors of a new sort of rebellion among the noldor scared her. Alciel had been handing out flyers telling of Nerdanel’s next exhibition and she was heading home. Her temper was infamous by now and she had gotten into a real argument with some blonde vanyar bitch who thought that all the Finwëions were abominations. In the end Alciel had grasped a fish from the market booth of a fish monger and slapped the nis across the face with it. She had left uttering curses that would have made Melkor plug his ears and Alciel grinned viciously and knew that the piousness was merely skin deep.   
Nerdanel had asked her to pick up some bread at the bakers and she got a basket of warm loafs and headed back towards the house. Nerdanel had reopened the old family home and now the ambarussa were painting it. The problem was that they both agreed upon disagreeing considering the choice of color and Nerdanel had sworn the house was bound to look like something from a psychotic nightmare with clashing colors everywhere. The hallway was for the moment painted half in an odd mint green color and half in a sharp ochre one and it usually made those unaware stop in the door rubbing their eyes. And the bath, oh Eru’s mercy! Amrod had insisted on blue while Amras wanted red and they had mixed the two so the bath now had a palette of colors ranging from pale pink to dark violet. Alciel was glad she didn’t drink, waking up with a hangover in such a room would make you think you have gotten completely delirious.   
She was passed by a few times by other city dwellers, some talking or singing and others just hurrying and she didn’t react when she heard rapid steps getting closer, it was probably just someone in a hurry, the shops were closing for the day and many were rather stressed out. She didn’t really think of anything until she suddenly felt hands grasp her and something was pressed against her nose and mouth. It did stink and she reacted out of sheer shock, she kicked backwards and hit something soft. Someone yelled out loud in agony and then she felt the world slipping away from her and everything went black.   
At the same time some riders left Tirion and they were heading towards the village where Lerina lived, her father rode in front with a narrow grin on his lips, this would go well and this time there would be no unpleasant surprises. She would marry the suitor he had picked out and when that ner got into power so would he. They would be there in just a couple of days and then his path to power would be ensured, others were dealing with the king and his family, there would be no obstacles, not anymore. 

Mablung did awake slowly, he felt oddly comfortable and then he realized that he laid next to someone, curled up into the person’s back like a spoon next to another. He blinked and recognized that huge mass of silvery grey hair and he let out a small yip of surprise and joy. It was Lerina and he remembered last night and felt how excitement bubbled inside of him. Sleeping there next to her was wonderful, and she was so soft and warm and just perfect to hold and he closed his eyes and thanked the valar for this chance. She was sound asleep and he leaned forth a bit and planted a gentle kiss on her shoulder. She made a little mewling sound and turned over, still asleep and he got a very nice and close view of her breasts since the blanket had slid down. Oh by Oromë’s balls, she was so gorgeous. Those perfect perky globes would fit perfectly into his hands and those lovely pink nipples were made to be kissed and licked. He stared at them, wait a minute, pink nipples? When he thought the mystery couldn’t get any deeper it just did, oh he did know that some females are unable to breastfeed their young, some don’t have enough milk or any at all while others find it uncomfortable but she couldn’t have tried at all. Everybody knows that a female’s nipples will turn darker when she has been suckling an infant and hers were like those of a maiden. What in Eru’s name was going on here?   
He frowned, she was stacked full of mysteries this one and why didn’t she tell him? What was she so afraid of? He tried to think rationally, perhaps she simply had been too weak after giving birth to suckle her daughter or she could have been of those who prefer to let a wetnurse take care of that job? No, she loved her daughter, he knew that. There was fierce protectiveness in her eyes whenever she did mention Ariniel and he didn’t doubt that she would do everything to ensure her daughter’s happiness. Even lying to everyone? Oh yes, he was sure she would. He kept thinking of what she had told him, of her niece and it sort of formed a pattern in his mind. Lerina got attacked, needed Saeriel’s help to overcome the trauma, and then Ariniel is born a few years later? While Saeriel still stayed with Lerina? And Saeriel suddenly married Fingon a couple of years after that? It lead to a conclusion he had a hard time believing but it was the only viable theory he could come up with. Ariniel was Saeriel’s daughter, not Lerina’s, but Maedhros was the father for sure. Had those rumors been true then? Did the four of them engage in orgies? The way Lerina had acted the day before told him she hadn’t, but Saeriel had sounded like a rather wild elleth so why not a threesome? That was more believable.   
What a mess, he decided that he would allow her to tell him herself when and if she got ready for it, he wouldn’t push her but he started to wonder what else that family had been hiding. He allowed himself to sleep a .little more and when he woke up the next time she was up, blushing like mad but dressed and she tried desperately to act as if nothing had happened. That sort of hurt him a bit but he didn’t let her see it, after all, she was still hiding things from him. They ate and went to work again and this day they managed to fill yet another four baskets before it got dark. Lerina was exhausted afterwards and went to bed early but he had noticed a strange change in her behavior. Now she seemed to crave his touch and yet she tried to avoid getting near him and she didn’t speak that much, she seemed almost grumpy but he did realize that it was fear, not anger. Was she afraid of him? Why?   
That night they slept alone again and he didn’t like it, he longed for her but what could he do? She had to set the pace and he tried to be just as nice and friendly as before, to make her feel safe and protected. The next morning they loaded the nuts onto the mules and Mablung wanted to transport the baskets back to the village before they returned for more. They could leave the camp there and Lerina agreed. She wanted to bring more baskets and some more equipment too and more food. They rode off and he entertained her with stories of how Thingol had reacted when the noldor returned to Beleriand. The day went by fast, she knew the route now and could concentrate upon his tales and she did enjoy herself a lot, even if she felt strangely torn. She realized that she wanted him to touch her again, to make her feel that wonderful sensation once again but it wouldn’t be right, not to him. She had no idea of how to return the favor, and she couldn’t let him take her. Ariniel should never have to live with the shame of knowing she in truth was born as a bastard.   
They were approaching the village when a rider came galloping towards them, it was one of the locals who knew Lerina pretty well and she knew she could trust him. He stopped his horse and his face told of a mix of emotions. “Lerina, your father have arrived, he came this morning. He is waiting for you and he has brought some stranger, he claims that you are to marry that ellon?!”  
Lerina almost passed out, the world disappeared under her and Mablung grasped onto her to prevent her from falling off her horse. Mablung almost sneered. “Did her daughter send you?”   
The ellon nodded. “Yes, she said she is glad she already is married, or else that mad idiot would have gotten silly ideas regarding her too. I am here to warn Lerina.”   
Mablung took a deep breath and saw that she was pale and shivering, her eyes were huge again and she reminded him of a frightened child. “Where is he?”   
The ellon pointed. “He is waiting by the groove of beeches, outside of the village.”  
Mablung was thinking fast. “Have anyone spoken to him?”   
The local shook his head with a grimace of disgust. “No, all he has been told is that Lerina is out picking nuts, that is all.”   
Mablung took a deep sigh of relief. “Great, could you do me a favor? Ride back and tell everybody that she has been engaged for say, six months? Make sure everybody knows if he asks questions, and don’t be afraid to add some juicy details too, make it sound like we have been at it rather like wild bunnies for the whole time. If he doesn’t buy our explanation he might start asking others.”   
The ellon grinned, a wide grin which told Mablung he understood the plan. “Yes, I will do that! What are you going to do?”   
Mablung grinned widely, a vicious grin. “Meet my future father in law of course, in a manner which will make him think twice about trying to marry her off again.”   
He dismounted and helped Lerina off the horse, she looked as if she was about to swoon once more and he remembered what he had been told, that her own parents had attacked her and harmed her seriously. Of course she was afraid of her father, she was reduced to a terrified elfling again and now he had to protect her, to be her shield and sword. He kissed her forehead and whispered softly. “Lerina? Don’t be afraid, I will never let him harm you in any way, do you hear me?”   
She nodded slowly, those big eyes still clouded with fear and he caressed her lower lip with his thumb. “ Listen, we are going to chase him off, to make him see that you aren’t his to rule anymore. It does require that you play along with what I am saying, and that we both act the part, can you do that?”   
She tried to pull herself together. “ I…I can try”   
He smiled and kissed her forehead again. “Great Lerina, now, I will leave some marks on you, to make you look as if we really are a couple, is that alright?”   
She frowned. “Marks?”   
He nodded. “Hickeys, and bitemarks, I will not hurt you, I swear”   
She sort of let out a nervous giggle. “Ah…Okay”   
He smiled and pulled her blouse down a bit, bent down and kissed her neck right under her ear, sucked hard and before long there was a dark red mark there. He did the same on the other side and added some swift bites. They would fade fast but not until her father had seen them. Then he made her change from her sturdy riding dress to a flimsy purple shift and she allowed him to do her hair so it looked like she had been having sex without combing through it afterwards. She had the bed hair of all centuries when he was finished and he smiled and pulled his tunic off. “Now, scratch me, really hard, across my shoulders.”   
She hesitated and then she did what he told her to do and he hissed from the pain but now he had some very nice marks to show for. She too tried making some hickeys on him and then he got his west back on and smeared some paint onto his skin, just to look primitive and frightening. She was shaking like a leaf when they were done, her nervousness almost palpable. He hugged her tight. “Don’t be afraid little one, we will send him off with his tail between his legs, I am here and I will not desert you”   
She tried to smile. “Thank you my friend”   
He just smiled and kissed her hand. “You are welcome, now, let’s ride. You can sit up with me, that makes it more believable.”   
She giggled and he lifted her up, got in the saddle behind her and then they rode off. Lerina was still scared but with him by her side she felt stronger, more confident and she knew how she should act to deter the suitor her father had found. The groove was not far away and Mablung rode with confidence, Lerina felt a need to grasp the reins and stop the horse but that would be childish, she had to face her demons now. She felt her heart beat like a drum and she remembered the last time she saw her father, the wrath in his eyes and his hateful words. Mablung grasped her hand, whispered to her. “Do not be afraid, hold your head up high my sweet one.”   
She took a deep breath and put on a cheeky expression, feeling herself shiver. There were some horses tied up by the groove and she saw that her father had brought Calpon and probably two servants. They sat on a fallen log and got up when they heard the sound of Mablung’s horse and Lerina felt a cold chill rush through her. Mablung stroked her back once, a soothing caress which brought some of her courage back, he was there, and he was strong. She had a strong feeling that Mablung in a fit of rage would be a terrible opponent and she knew that her father was a coward at heart. This should be interesting.  
She saw him stand there in front of the small group, Calpon stood behind him and Lerina hissed at the sight. She knew that Calpon was the kind of person who always wants more, more of everything. He was never pleased with what he had and she had heard servants claim that he would have done anything to get closer to the center of power. Suddenly she felt a wave of anger and disgust, she saw it now, the game these elves were playing and it was revolting. She allowed her despise to show in her eyes and she did hold her head up high, leaning towards Mablung as if they really were intimate in every manner.   
Costaro frowned when he saw his daughter, what was this? She looked some barbaric thing and was she wearing only a shift? And she had grown fat! Calpon seemed a bit shocked and Costaro had never seen that look in her eyes before, it flamed and he suddenly started to worry that this wouldn’t be such an easy fix after all. He just stared at her with a hard gaze, trying to intimidate her and break her will like before. “You look like a savage, and have you put on weight?! Have you no shame? You ought to be glad I am here, to bring you back to civilization. Calpon here has agreed upon marrying you, even if you are spoiled goods”   
Mablung almost growled when he heard those words, fat? And spoiled goods? Oh by Aüle’s hammer, this would get nasty if that nitwit didn’t back down, he checked his axe and sword just to be sure. Lerina just gave Costaro a very cold glare. “No shit Costaro, well, you can tell that rotten excuse for a ner that I have no desire to marry him, now or ever!”  
Costaro almost lost his ability to speak, when had she started acting thus? With such confidence? He hadn’t really looked at the ner behind her on the horse, he had assumed that it was a servant since she never had learned to ride when he was in charge of her but now he did see that it was an extremely tall sinda, one with war paint, and weapons. And a glare that could have frozen the sundering sea block solid.   
Mablung grinned, a very wide and devilish grin. “So this is your father Lerina. Pleased to meet you Costaro!”   
He held his voice polite and made sure that the four elves saw his weapons. Costaro tried to look confident and strong even if that sinda was terrifying. What a barbarian, well, he had to be at least a foot and a half taller than Costaro and almost twice his weight and that was all muscle. “ And who the hell are you?”   
Mablung ignored the haughty tone and smiled even wider but his eyes weren’t smiling, they had the same expression they would have when he saw a pack of orcs. “ Oh who I am, well, it depends upon whether or not you follow the old laws. If you don’t I am Lerina’s fiancée, and if you do I am her husband”   
Costaro almost coughed, his eyes bulging” Her…husband?!”   
Lerina nodded with a triumphant grin. “ Yes, he is so much more of a male than any of my previous lovers, truly”   
Costaro barely managed to speak. “Married….again?”   
Mablung grinned, a devil was dancing in his eyes and he bent down and kissed Lerina on her cheek, thus making her shift a ,little so the huge hickey on her neck became visible for all to see. “Most certainly yes, once you plow the ground you own it right? And we have had a lot of fun together, she is really something else.”   
Calpon snorted and there was disgust in his eyes, he was most certainly no longer interested and Lerina hid a triumphant smile, she leaned back and kissed Mablung back and he turned it into a very deep and possessive kiss she felt all the way to her toes. “So you see, she is mine, all mine. You could of course challenge me for the right to be her mate but honestly? I cannot see any of you being able to bear arms against me and survive”   
Costaro was a bit pale. “You are but a barbarian, you have no right claiming a noldor nis as your bride?! She is above you!”   
Mablung grinned again. “ Oh yes she is, and under me too, a lot. But I do like her above me, she has such wonderful curves now doesn’t she?”   
Costaro tried to sound cold and angry. “ I didn’t get your name”   
The voice was ice cold but trembling and Mablung stared straight at Costaro, his eyes blazing. “I am known as Mablung, that means hard hand by the way. I got it when I once crushed an orc’s skull with my bare hand, like this”   
He held out a huge worn hand and closed it slowly and Costaro saw muscles bulge under the dark skin, like a nest of snakes under a thin veil. Costaro swallowed hard and Lerina could see that the servants had a hard time not laughing, they obviously were on her side in this. Mablung smiled again, deceptively friendly. “So you have a sinda son in law now, law-father. And this year have been a fecund one, in so many ways”   
He let a hand run over Lerina’s stomach in a protective and possessive manner and Costaro gasped and turned even paler. The thought of having a half sinda grandchild probably shocked him even worse than would having one that was half orc! Mablung slid off the horse and helped Lerina down and she sort of made sure that she grasped onto his west and pulled at the hem so they saw the top of the impressive claw marks she had made on his back. She hung onto him and kissed him on his neck and tried to act like someone quite depraved the way the more pious noldor saw it and Costaro still looked very shocked. Calpon had returned to his horse and he was sneering. “I have no intention of getting involved with that thing over there, she has gone feral! Eru alone knows who’s cocks she has ridden, I’d rather marry a sow!”

Costaro squealed, his plans were ruined, it made anger boil up inside of him but he knew that he couldn’t use the marrying tactic again, Lerina was out of reach and it made him sneer with disappointment and rage. Mablung had pulled his sword from its sheath and he held it in a very threatening angle. “So, I suggest you go packing, before you have a whole tribe of angry wood elves on your heels. We do not appreciate it if anyone tries to mess with our mates, and she is mine! If you show you grey face here once more you will not return home unscathed, that is a promise”   
Costaro heard the hard tone of the huge sinda’s voice and knew he spoke the truth, the wood sindar and the avarin tribes were infamously feral and like most noldor he had never bothered with trying to find the real truth. He bit his teeth together, staring at Lerina. “You fucking slut, this ain’t over yet, just you wait and see!”  
Lerina sent him a cold glare. “Oh it is, you are not my father, you never were a father to anyone. You may have sired me but that doesn’t make you worthy of that title.”   
Costaro didn’t answer, he just ran to his horse and the servants held the animal but the horse sort of backed a few steps and tried to bite him in the butt when he mounted it. Mablung grinned and Lerina smiled, a fake friendly smile. “Oh do send my regards to mom, I hope her piousness and falseness haven’t choked her just yet!”  
Costaro swore and spurred the horse and Calpon followed, the two servants grinned and gave Lerina a thumbs up before they followed their masters and Lerina felt a need to scream, just to let the tension and the fear she had felt out. But she felt different now, stronger! She had dared to face him and she hadn’t broken down, that was great!  
Mablung embraced her and kissed her forehead. “You did well little one, I am very proud of you. That ellon was really a piece of shit, what a bastard!”  
She nodded and relaxed into his embrace, she felt safe and in a way very glad. He smiled. “Now, let us get the nuts to your home and get them ready, and now you do owe me a favor.”   
She nodded. “ I do, I am so grateful”   
Mablung tilted his head, there was a warm light in his eyes. “ So why don’t you show it? I have a suggestion for a counter favor”   
She frowned, a little nervous. “What?”   
He took her hand. “Tonight there is a festival, the wood elves celebrate it every year, in honor of the forests and the things they give us. Join me, please?”   
She felt uncertain, a festival? That meant lots of other elves, and she had never liked crowds but…”What do you do during that festival?”   
He caressed her hair. “ We dance, and sing and remember the old days, there will be food and lots of drinking and just fun. Say you will come!”  
She hesitated for a second and he grinned widely when she finally nodded. “Wonderful, now, let us get the nuts to safety and then I will meet your daughter and she can help you get ready.”   
Lerina sort of sighed, what had she agreed upon now? Oh Eru, this could get…weird.

Meanwhile in Tirion chaos had erupted, Nerdanel had waited for Alciel to return home but she had not shown up and she and the ambarussa had left the house looking but they found nothing. And so she had alerted everybody of her missing daughter and now there were elves everywhere, trying to find Fëanor’s daughter. Even Finarfin had come to help in the search and by noon the next day some servant found a note someone had left on the king’s desk. The message was very clear, if he didn’t abdicate and leave the power to more worthy ner they would never see Alciel again. But Finarfin knew he couldn’t, it would spell anarchy. The idiots behind the conspiracy had no idea of how the valar had chosen the first kings from the elven tribes and they would not allow some other family to rule. And Finarfin’s children had started being re-embodied too, just as Fingolfin’s.   
He was gathering his advisors and the rest of the family when a group of maiar rode into the courtyard, among them a very tall cloaked figure and they strolled straight into the council room as if they owned it. Finarfin looked up with an annoyed glance, he didn’t like this at all but it changed when the cloaked figure removed the heavy garment. Finarfin just gasped, then he cried out. “Atya!”  
Everybody stared, it was the first high king and he did look amazing, strong and determined and Finarfin rushed forth and embraced him, almost sobbing. “ Oh atya, it is really you, oh Eru”  
Finwë stared at the group, his eyes were stern but held so much love. “I am back, and I know of the conspiracy and the kidnapping. Worry not, they will not achieve their foolish goals, we will find my granddaughter. Now is the time to strike back, to rebuild what once was”   
Many cheered and Indis fell into his arms, sobbing wildly. He kissed her forehead and his smile was bittersweet. “There are so many of us not here now, so many lost. My firstborn will not be reborn again, but some of his sons may, in time. Until then I reclaim the throne as it is my right, and if they think they can usurp me then they’ll get what is coming”   
Finarfin laughed, an almost hysterical sound made in absolute relief. He had never wanted to be king and it hadn’t suited him at all and now that burden was taken from him. He was weeping with joy. Finwë went over to Nerdanel, embraced her. “We will find her dear, worry not. I will not rest until every stone in Tirion is turned upside down.”   
Nerdanel sobbed and hid her face against his robes and an atmosphere of confidence had filled the room. They would find her, it would be alright, the true king was back. 

Alciel had woken up tied up like a ham, she couldn’t move even a muscle and she was inside of some sort of crate, and it moved. She heard the sound of wagon wheels and she knew she was being taken away from the city, but where to? She had lost the sensation of time and she had a horrible headache. She wasn’t really afraid, at least not yet but she was angry, more angry than ever before. She knew who she could blame for this, and she swore that she would make them pay. The crate was warm and uncomfortable and she was gagged, she fought it but after a while she lost consciousness yet again.   
The next time she woke up she was no more in the crate, she laid upon a simple cot and she had a chain attached to her right wrist. It was well made and she hissed and lifted her head. She still had a headache and she felt dizzy and confused, but her keen mind was working like before. She was in a small room with no windows, it was made from solid brickwork and it had a faint moldy smell which told her this was where someone used to store potatoes. It had to be a cellar, and that usually meant that this was some sort of mansion, commoners rarely had cellars and the bricks were not that very old. The room wasn’t large, the chain was so long she could move all over it and it held just the cot, a sort of table and a chamberpot. She growled with anger and stared at the manacle around her wrist. Whoever had made it, he or she was good, she couldn’t hope to pick the lock, not without real equipment made for it. She sighed, the table was a rackety thing, she couldn’t break it apart and use it as weapons for the wood was rotten. A sort of basket stood on top of it, it contained some bread and a jug of thin wine. Great, so she wasn’t to starve, that was encouraging. But what did these goofheads hope to achieve by kidnapping her?   
Finarfin would never leave the throne to them, no way. She suspected that these elves only saw the glory of ruling and not the terrible burden it was, or they were so convinced that the line of Finwë was corrupted that they were willing to let anyone rule except them. She could only wait for someone to show up and she had no idea of what day it was, or if she had been there for long. A single Fëanorian lamp gave light to the room and she got tired and had to lay down to sleep again. But when she slept someone had been there, emptied the chamber pot and put new food on the table and so someone was watching over her, she had no idea of how she would get out of this situation. She knew that days had gone by and she was getting terribly bored, there was nothing to do there except waiting and she feared that she would go insane soon. Then suddenly the door opened and an elf she had never seen entered, he just stood in the door, well out of her reach and he looked angry. He was clearly a noldo but he wore some clothes that looked more of vanyar origin and so did his jewelry. Alciel just stared at him and he frowned. “So you are the get of that darn kinslayer, I see the apple haven’t fallen far from the tree. But you will be useful now, our plans have changed.”   
Alciel felt scared but she didn’t show it, she just met his gaze and the ner continued. “We hoped to get the daughter of one of our most trusted followers married to one of us, she is the widow of that darn redhead who was your brother, but some sinda have come before us and she is no longer available. And Finwë has returned, and he isn’t to be played with. But there is another way of getting influence, we just have to make some small adjustments regarding the bride”   
Alciel sort of held her breath, he wasn’t thinking…. The ner grinned triumphantly. “Rejoice nis, for you are to become the wife of a very prosperous and ambitious ner, with a consummated marriage they cannot protest against it. “   
Alciel just gasped, was this elf in sane? “I will never allow that, the valar will annul the marriage if it has been forced!”  
The ner continued to grin. “No they won’t, not if there is a child created from the union, and worry not pretty one, we have herbs which will make you conceive, willingly or not!”  
Alciel felt how cold dread crept into her, she had heard of such herbs, from elves being used as breeding slaves by the forces of Sauron and Morgoth and she would rather die than to be violated thus. He nodded. “Soon you will be our key to the court, and through you we will soon overthrow the Finwëions, it is ironic that one of their own will be their downfall.”   
Alciel just stared, how could they even believe their own words? A marriage to her wouldn’t help them in any manner, were they completely bonkers? And no, she would not allow this to happen, she was the daughter of Fëanor and she had inherited her father’s ingenuity, there had to be a way to get out of there. She just growled at the ner who closed the door and she felt cold sweat flow down her back. From now on she couldn’t eat anything, she didn’t have much time left before she would go weak. Think Alciel, think! What would her father have done? How could she alert her family of her plight?


	11. Mushrooms and marriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alciel discovers a possible method to avoid the marriage the conspirators want to force her into, Lerina and Mablung are going to a party and she is gonna have some rather great shocks, and will she even see a new dawn as an unwed female?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very long, and it is very explicit with lots of sex, including some sexual rituals based upon ancient cultures. Back in the old days it was customary during easter for maidens to do as it is described in this chapter after they had been to church on easter day, needless to say, the church didnt approve of it. And even earlier it was common for women to dance around rock phalluses and touching them in order to get pregnant and have strong children. That custom lasted rather long and there are such phalluses left many places. During the viking age it was also custom for someone to have sex in front of the statues of the gods to please them and to ensure the fertility of the land and the herd.

Chapter 11: Mushrooms and marriage. 

 

The city of Tirion was in an uproar, guards from the royal palace were everywhere, searching through every building and some unfortunate ner had to crawl down into the sewer system to check that too. Finwë had made a public appearance and many had been deeply shocked by it, they hadn’t expected the true high king to return from the halls. But now he had and everybody was confident that he would make things right and bring back a time of peace and true prosperity. But right now the main goal of everyone was to find Alciel and Finarfin tried to get an idea of who it was who had been plotting against him. That proved to be hard, the conspiracy had been very well hidden and at the moment they couldn’t trust anyone, so they worked with discrete tactics and managed to learn that Lerina’s father was one of the conspirators for sure. Finwë wasn’t surprised but nobody seemed to know where he was and so they had to keep looking. The problem was that Alciel could have been transported out of the city and then she could be hidden somewhere they didn’t even know of. It was a grand dilemma and Finwë was deeply worried. Could these mad elves really go so far as to hurt someone to get what they wanted? Were they mad enough for that? He could just hope that his granddaughter was alright, she was resourceful, it should help her. 

Alciel had never felt more alone, she sort of knew that her family was searching for her but she had no idea of where she was, and the cellar was not a place you could escape from. The door was barred and there was a chimney there but it was way too small for someone to crawl through. She sat down to think, what could she do? What options were left? There was no way she would allow it to happen, she wouldn’t marry some power hungry buffoon more than she would marry an orc and carrying the offspring of such a person? No fucking way! When she slept food would be left on the table and the bucket would be replaced with a new one, she had to come up with an idea before they managed to get some of those herbs into her. Think Alciel, think! She knew her father had been a genius and she was just as smart, just in a different way. The room was so small and the dank smell disgusting and she went over the small fireplace, tried to open the chimney to let some air in. The darn rod which regulated airflow was stuck, rusted in place and she moaned and bent down, stared up into the narrow opening above the cold ashes of the fireplace. 

The chimney was open, oh great! That meant no better air, and she was to pull away from the chimney when she saw something which made her frown. She reached out and grasped the thing she saw and when she returned to the faint light she did bite her lower lip. It was a mushroom, the kind which sometimes does grow in such dark dank places. She had barely ever seen one of this species but she had heard of it, and knew what it was. She took a deep breath, how desperate was she? And more importantly, how desperate were they? Would they go through with it if she was unconscious and ill? Would they even notice before it was too late? She stared at the mushroom, the hat of it was dark brown with some odd purple specks and she swallowed hard. It was very poisonous, the risk of her dying was great, but if they had to get a healer?  
It was her chance, if she did die then their plans would be ruined for sure, they wouldn’t take that risk. She decided to wait for a couple of days, to see if they really were going to force her, if they did she would do it. It was her only chance of escape and if she did die, well, she wouldn’t be the only Feanorian in the halls. 

 

Lerina was still shaking when she approached her daughter’s home, the shock was slowly leaving her and she felt almost hysterical with relief. Her father had ridden off, she was safe! Mablung walked next to her and the mules followed them and Lerina saw that Ariniel came running to meet her. The nis stopped with huge eyes when she saw Mablung, then she grinned and rushed the last distance, embraced Lerina. “Mother, are you alright?”

Lerina nodded, tried to smile. “ I am dear, thanks for the warning.”

Ariniel stared at the tall sinda and her eyes were glittering. “ What happened? Please do tell me!”

Lerina sort of shuddered. “ Mablung here convinced father that we are married, and that I have become a terribly debauched person.”

Ariniel did notice the way Lerina looked and her eyes went wide, then she started to laugh. “Oh Eru’s mercy, that is priceless. Mom, you look like…well. Not your usual self for sure.”

Mablung grinned wryly. “Thanks to the warning we could prepare”

Ariniel cocked her head. “ I see, do you think he will try again?”

Mablung shook his head. “Not if he wants my sword jammed up his arse, we scared him off and good riddance, what an unpleasant person.”

Ariniel giggled and then she bowed her head. “Thank you so much for your help, you are Mablung yes? Mom have told me about you”

He returned the gesture. “ And she has told me about you, you have a wonderful mother young one” 

Ariniel blushed slightly. “I know! She is the best. Have you picked all those nuts?” 

Lerina nodded, her eyes shining. “Yes, there is so much left there, so we are going back to get more.” 

Ariniel frowned. “Not right away?”

Mablung shook his head. “No, these nuts need to be sorted out first, and I have invited her to join me at the festival tonight” 

Ariniel sort of gasped, then she grinned widely. “ A festival? Oh how wonderful mom, I am gonna help you get dressed then, you will outshine everyone”

Lerina felt tiny, like a trapped mouse in a box. “ But…I don’t want any attention”

Mablung grasped her hand, held it gently. “ Don’t worry, I will be there and nobody will bother you, I promise. It will be fun”

Ariniel clapped her hands together. “Marvelous, then shall we unload the mules and sort those nuts? I will help, and so will my husband” 

 

Lerina just sighed and felt overwhelmed, this was moving forth way too fast. They got the mules in to the yard and got the baskets off them and got to work. Since much of the sorting had been done in the woods it was rather quick and Lerina stored the nuts in huge ceramic containers almost as tall as herself. She promised herself that she would send some to the court as soon as possible. Afterwards Mablung promised to come and pick her up and Lerina felt utterly silly. She ought to be acting like a mature wise nis, not some idiot, but it was hard. She went to take a bath and Ariniel did keep her promise. She was chatting away like mad about Mablung while she threw away all the dresses Lerina suggested that she’d wear. In the end she came with one Lerina never had seen, it was made from several layers of almost transparent linen and dyed in soft tones of green and gold and it was lovely. “Here, this is perfect. You will fit right in among the wood elves.”

Lerina felt silly, she bit her lower lip, fit in? Yeah, like an orc among angels for sure. Ariniel then went to work with her hair, put it up and braided some thin twigs made from gold thread into it, and added some ribbons in green and red as well. And she even put some make up on her and Lerina had a feeling of being some prize horse put on display. But the result was stunning and she stared at her own reflection in the mirror, utterly shocked. The make up brought out the color of her eyes even more than usual and gave her cheeks some more fullness and she did blush and feel a sting of excitement. How would he react to her now?  
Ariniel almost jumped with excitement. “ You look amazing, he will be on his knees proposing to you before you even know it”

Lerina sort of giggled, nervously. “I don’t think that he…”

Ariniel interrupted.” Oh yes he does, I am not blind mom. I saw his eyes. He is falling for you like a log! He is breathtaking, you go to that festival tonight and if you return home unwed I am gonna smack your bottom, and I don’t care if you are my mom”

Lerina had to giggle and she tried to smile but felt so terribly unsure. How was she to deal with it all? “ We have just met sweet one”

Ariniel pouted. “You are meant for one another, even a blind fool can see that. And the wood elves doesn’t care about a one year engagement and all that nonsense. Not when the bond is strong from the very first day. Go ahead mom, he will make you very happy, I am dead sure” 

Lerina tried to make her face look stern. “ I would greatly appreciate it if my daughter kindly stays out of my love life thank you very much”

Ariniel rolled her eyes and straightened Lerina’s dress. “What love life? Mom, we both know you have been true to father ever since he left, and now it is time for you to start living again, can’t you see? He would have wanted you to be happy”

Lerina sighed, knew that Ariniel was telling the truth here. “ I know, but I do not want to rush things.”

Ariniel threw the long red hair back over her shoulder and sighed. “Mom, sometimes it is better to jump right at it than to crawl. It is like taking a bath when the water is a bit cold, just go for it. It will feel better afterwards” 

Lerina let out a nervous snort and Ariniel reached out, caressed her cheek. “ Don’t worry mom, he will be good to you, as good as father ever was, I just know it. He is the strength that you need to truly blossom.”

Lerina looked down and wondered how her daughter had become so very wise, much wiser than herself in so many ways. It had to be the fact that she never had been shielded and held back the way Lerina had. Ariniel went to the kitchen and returned with a cup of wine. “ Here, to soothe your nerves. You look like you need it”

Lerina made a grimace and nodded, took the cup and emptied it in one go, that made Ariniel sort of blink and stare in utter surprise. Lerina didn’t really know why she felt so nervous, it was just a festival damn it, but she sort of felt that it would be so much more, that this night would change everything.  
Mablung showed up not much later, he had bathed too and changed into a pair of very lovely dark trousers with nice embroideries and a white shirt. Lerina felt her heart skip a few beats when she saw him and he just blinked when he saw her. “Eru, you…oh the valar must envy you your beauty. It is incomparable with anything of this world.”

Lerina just giggled and Ariniel winked at Mablung. “Show her a good time, Eru knows she deserves it.” 

The tall sinda just grinned and took Lerina’s hand. His horse waited outside and he got her in the saddle before he jumped up behind her and they rode off. Lerina felt a bit tense, but also strangely excited. She had always been fascinated by the cultures of the Endor elves and now she was to witness it firsthand. “Where are we going?”

Mablung held a hand around her waist and he let the horse trot slowly along the path. “To a groove south of the village, it is sacred to us wood elves. “

Lerina frowned. “Why? What is special about it?” 

He grinned and she could smell that he had bathed, now he smelled very distinctly of himself and it was a scent she found strangely addictive. “It is said that Oromë himself have blessed it, and it holds great powers. The avarin elves do worship him and Yavanna, the groove is dedicated to them”

Lerina just nodded and after a while they approached a huge open field. In the middle was a groove of very old oaks and tents and small huts filled the field with sparkling colors, almost challenging those of the wild flowers. Mablung smiled, his eyes did sparkle and she realized that he really was looking forward to this. He stopped the horse and helped her down. “We sindar sort of split into two different factions at Doriath, at least when it came to culture and behavior. One faction tried to remain the way we were before the great journey while the other faction tried to become more civilized and to be honest, goddamn boring”

She giggled. “ I take it that you were of those belonging to the first faction?”

He nodded and gave the horse a pat on the rump, it took off. “ Most certainly, I didn’t care for fancy dress and finery, for courtly gossip and stiff parties where you couldn’t even laugh without feeling like a pariah. No, I preferred the wild woods and I still do”

They walked on and soon Lerina saw that there were a lot of elves gathered there. Most were avarin or silvan in origin and there were also some sindar there, and a few noldor too. That surprised her but what surprised her most of all was that there were vanyar elves present. And they were nothing at all like the vanyar of Valmar. She had to stare, eyes wide and her mouth open and Mablung chuckled. “There you see the vanyar the way they were before they reached this land, those are elves who refuse to participate in that insane worship of the valar, they do only worship Yavanna as their great mother and Eru” 

Lerina knew that vanyar of Valmar would pass out seeing these. Most were almost naked and wore body paint and bizarre jewelry and some were in fact naked! She felt herself blush intensely. But they were beautiful and strangely natural and they had an odd sort of pride that was fascinating to watch. Some of the avarin elves were dressed and embellished in a similar manner and she saw that elflings were running around freely, and they were all buck naked. In Tirion that would have caused quite a scene and Lerina had to admit that they all looked very happy. Most there seemed to know Mablung and he was greeted by many and shouted back, cheerfully. Then another very tall slender Sinda with almost white hair approached them and Mablung grinned widely and gave the other ner a hug. “ What am I hearing old friend, you chased off a noldorin monster this evening?”

Mablung sort of scoffed and turned around. “ Lerina, this is my old friend Beleg, Beleg, this is Lerina. Yes, I did chase off her father, I have come across orcs nastier than that ellon but not many.”

Beleg laughed, then he bowed politely and took Lerina’s hand. “So this is the fair lady you have spent days in the woods with, friend, I am envious of you. She is gorgeous” 

Lerina blushed and Mablung laid an arm around her shoulders, in a protective manner. “That you may be, but beware, she is all mine tonight” 

Beleg chuckled. “Worry not, everybody knows that you have found a true gem there, you won’t face any competition although I bet half of the males here would wish to be in your shoes tonight” 

Lerina blushed even deeper and Beleg gestured towards an open area in front of the groove. A huge bonfire was erected but not yet lit on fire, and there were elves gathering there. Some walked around carrying wine skins and before Lerina even knew it somebody pushed a huge goblet into her hand and filled it with a liquid that smelled like raspberries. Beleg grinned. “Are you gonna jump tonight Mablung?” 

Mablung nodded. “ Of course, what could possibly stop me? I am gonna win this year as every year, mark my words!”

Lerina frowned. “Jump?” 

Beleg grinned widely, winked at her. “ Yes, it is a tradition, ancient as the very hills themselves. When the moon rises we will set the bonfire alight and then the warriors will jump through the flames, the one making the boldest leaps will win.” 

Lerina just gasped. “ Are you all nuts? What if you get burned?” 

Beleg laughed. “None have so far, we are not stupid gorgeous one, worry not, your friend here will be alright. He always wins”

Mablung just smiled, a wide boyish grin that somehow made her heart skip a few beats, again! “ I always win, listen to him”

More elves walked by, some greeted Mablung and some even said hello to Lerina and none appeared to be anything but friendly and accepting and she started to relax. The wine was the best she had ever tasted and someone seemed to fill the goblet whenever it was empty. Someone had brought drums and flutes and some odd looking instruments with many strings and merry music seemed to spread through the camp. Many were dancing around singing and the atmosphere was one of carefree joy. Mablung held her hand and started pointing out the differences between the different clans. She did pay attention but the music and the general mood there made her legs twitch. She had never liked dancing before, but now she wouldn’t mind trying. 

Suddenly the crowd split up and an area around the bonfire got cleared, a group of young ellith came running into it, all wearing gorgeous flimsy dresses with very tight bodices and they gathered in a small group, giggling and squealing. Mablung smiled. “Another tradition, it sort of starts the festival. Just watch now”

Some other ellith who were older came carrying baskets and the baskets contained boiled and peeled eggs, each young elleth got an egg and Lerina gasped when she saw that the eggs got shoved down into their cleavage so they were barely visible between their breasts. Mablung chuckled. “Eggs are a symbol of fertility, and this whole festival is to celebrate just that, the fertility of the woods and the animals, to make sure the gods still smile at us and make the crops plentiful.” 

Lerina still didn’t understand, then suddenly a group of young Ellyn burst out from the crowd and she realized that they tried to catch the ellith but they all had their hands tied to their backs and the ellith were laughing and giggling and letting out loud squeals of sheer thrill as they jumped and ran and tried to dodge the young males. Lerina frowned. “What are they doing” 

Mablung chuckled. “Trying to take the eggs and eat them, without their hands. If they do manage to get the egg from one of the ellith she will have to spend the night with him so they all try to make sure that the one who gets their egg is one they want” 

Lerina looked shocked. “ Do they have to…you know?”

Mablung shook his head. “ Heck no, but spending the night can mean to just stay here and dance, listen to him singing, performing poetry or just watching the stars. Many a good marriage have started with the egg chase” 

One of the ner had managed to sort of pin one of the females against a table and now he had his face buried between her breasts, trying to get the egg without soiling her too much. She was giggling like mad and everybody around them were cheering. Lerina looked at the crowd and realized that these elves did celebrate life in a whole different manner than those she was used to. Here you found no false piety, no haughtiness or rules made to control your every move or feeling. These were free, and suddenly she ached for that freedom with her very fëa. Mablung petted her back.” You can feel it right? That this is how we are supposed to be, what we were created to be.” 

She could just nod, feeling a bit humble. After a while all the ellith had their eggs taken and the crowd gathered again, the drums started making a new rhythm as darkness fell and Mablung grasped her hand. A Vanyar elleth on the other side grasped her other hand and now she saw that they formed huge circles around the fire. He grinned at her. “This is the great dance, just follow the flow”

An elleth clad in green stood and started chanting something and the circles started moving, some clockwise and others the other way and Lerina had to grin, this was fun. The speed picked up and the rhythm got wild and hypnotizing. She was spun around, they changed direction, went from one circle to the other and yet the circles remained and she realized that this was a perfect metaphor for life itself. Sometimes she lost track of him but he would show up again and the elleth in green shouted something very loud and then they all stopped and stared at her, arms in the air, chests heaving and eyes glittering in the darkness. She did see that a few of the avarin elves actually had eyes which glowed in the dark like cats eyes and it was a bit eerie. She did see that Mablung’s eyes too did have that unearthly glow now and she realized that it was because he was of those born long before there was a sun and a moon. 

They began to sing, Lerina didn’t understand a single syllable but it was so beautiful it brought tears to her eyes and so etheric it felt like a dream listening to it. The song continued for a while and she saw that some ner did light some torches, lightning up a path through the camp. She frowned, it looked like an obstacle course, like the one they used to train the young warriors?  
Mablung grinned widely. “This is fun watching, just you wait and see.”

She cocked her head. “Another competition?” 

He nodded. “ Oh yes, one I haven’t participated in” 

She turned her head and frowned and now some ner entered the clearing, clearly exchanging some challenges and cheerful insults to each other. Then some ellith too came forth and to Lerina’s shock the ner grasped them and lifted them up and the ellith ended up sitting on their shoulders. Were they to go through the obstacle course carrying the ellith?! Oh Eru, now she knew why that was regarded as fun, it had to be very difficult. She leaned forth to see better and suddenly she felt hands grasping her waist and she was lifted like she was weight less and suddenly she sat placed on Mablung’s shoulders, staring down. He looked up at her and winked. “ I haven’t participated before because I haven’t had a date during the festival before. Get ready” 

Lerina squealed, grasping on to his hair desperately but she felt that she was firmly in place, he held her legs and she wouldn’t fall off but Eru. She was sitting on him! Many were cheering and shouting as he ran through the crowd joining the others and some other sindar hollered. “Way to go Mablung, make sure not to buck her off. Two silver coins on you as a winner” 

The other competitors made grimaces and the ellith on their backs just laughed. Lerina felt horrified, how was she to get through this alive? Mablung chuckled. “Do not be afraid, I won’t let you fall off”

She panted and stared at the track with huge eyes. “I am not worried about me, what about you?!”

He patted her leg. “Oh I will be okay, I am stronger than most and faster too. We do have a good chance. “

She tried to calm herself, if she had to be a part of this then be it. “ What are the rules?” 

He pointed at the track. “The one who manages to get through the track without hitting the obstacles with his partner or falling or dropping her wins”

Lerina swallowed. “ Oh…okay!” 

He looked up again, grinning like a madman. “Just do as I tell you to do and we will be fine”

She tried to smile, and the other ellith gave her encouraging smiles. “Is there some sort of spiritual meaning behind this or is it just a chance for you males to show off?” 

Mablung chuckled. “They say that the couples who makes it through this without falling will be blessed with many children”

Lerina squeaked. “I….see”

A tall silvan wearing a huge pelt over his shoulders raised a hand and the all lined up, Mablung grasped Lerina’s legs and she put an arm around his head, trembling slightly. The silvan grinned and let his hand fall and they were off! Lerina screamed as Mablung raced forth and she clung onto him with all her might as they approached the first obstacle, a series of barrels lying one after the other in a ditch filled with water. Oh why had she allowed him to drag her into this? She held her breath as he ran out onto the barrels, since they were floating they could spin around their own axis and were unstable and to her amazement he was so fast neither of the barrels had time to spin. They were over and another ellon carrying a slender auburn haired elleth were hot at their heels. Two of the other couples ended in the water and the crowd was cheering loudly. Lerina yelped as the next hurdle showed up, it was a log hanging horizontally in the air suspended by ropes and under it was a narrow track filled with mud. It seemed to be about a meter off the ground and were someone supposed to jump that? It was impossible!  
Lerina took a deep breath and Mablung shouted. “ Lean back, as far as you can, keep your head low”

He rushed forth and fell down onto his knees, bending backwards at an insane angle and she screamed as the log passed over her head, just an inch from her nose. He slid forth in the mud and got back up again and she couldn’t imagine the pressure this had put on his knees and muscles. The other couple managed it too and then two more got under without incident but one couple failed since the elleth touched the log with her hand. Lerina realized that this was all about showing trust, not strength. She had thought the males were the important ones but in fact it was the females who decided the outcome of this game. To win you had to trust your partner completely and she felt a strange spark of competiveness awaken in her. She saw that the next obstacle was a very narrow beam you had to run along and it had some thin logs swinging over it and those had to be jumped. This was the most terrifying and exhilarating thing she had ever experienced and she tried desperately to stay in balance to help him. 

Before she really understood how they were over and it was just one obstacle left, and it was a tricky one. Lerina sort of moaned when she saw it, they had two couples behind them now and both were close and Lerina didn’t want them to win. She had never won anything ever, this victory she wanted to claim. Mablung gasped for air and tried to run even faster. “ You are getting eager aren’t you. I kind of like that!”

She whimpered, the obstacle was a series of huge hoops hanging vertically and how were you to get through them? Mablung aimed for the first one. “Listen, I have to get down into a crouch and sort of push you through the hole and then get my own body through afterwards, without you hitting the ring, okay?” 

She whimpered. “O-okay!”

Here his great height became a disadvantage and the other couples who had made it this far were silvan and smaller and more slender. He got down and Lerina felt herself being tipped forward through the hoop, she held her breath, they couldn’t touch the hoop itself and then he slowly got back up a bit, holding her entire weight while standing in an odd angle. He got one leg through, straightened himself up a bit, pulled the other leg after him and the first hoop was finished, four more to go, oh Eru! 

The other couples had caught up with them but now Lerina realized something rather crucial, she was rather short and even if she had put on weight since her marriage to Maedhros she was lighter than the other females, and he was stronger than the males. He sort of groaned each time he had to get up half bent with her weight on his shoulders but they managed to get through and then there was just one hoop left. The other couples had followed them until now but at the fourth hoop the couple with the auburn elleth lost their balance and the only competition they had left was a brown haired ellon with a blond elleth. They seemed determined to win and Lerina bit her teeth together and grasped onto Mablung’s long hair to stay in place as he carefully lifted her through the last hoop. She held her breath as he sort of snaked his way through and then they were out and had to run the last hundred yards to the finish. Lerina was yelling with excitement and kicking too and Mablung gasped and threw his last strength into the race. “You are spurring me like a horse elleth, my have you gotten into this” 

They crossed the finish line just two feet in front of the other couple and Lerina felt ecstatic, she yelled and bounced and had never had such fun and Mablung lifted her down and kissed her in front of everybody and she didn’t care, she just didn’t care. The kiss was a passionate one and she heard the elves surrounding them chuckle and laugh. “Won’t be too long before they have little ones at their feet for sure”

She blushed, but participated in the kiss and someone came with some sort of decoration made from flowers which had to be the prize. Both she and Mablung got one to wear and some did shake his hand. The couple who came as number two seemed to be just happy and didn’t mind loosing and now people started to dance again. Mablung washed the mud from his pants and boots and then he grasped her and spun her into the dancing crowd before she even had time to consider whether or not she really wanted to dance. But she loved it, the freedom of the movements, the rhythm of the drums and his sparkling eyes made her forget about everything except the moment. Again there was a cup in her hand and she did drink eagerly, thirsty from all the excitement and he drank too, sharing the cup with her. He spun her around, lifted her, and she allowed herself to just go with the flow and the music. She was swaying her hips and raising her arms like the other ellith and she saw that he liked it, his eyes were darker than before and there was a change in the way he held her. It was subtle but there still the same. She laughed and squealed and felt light headed, the wine was so fruity and sweet and she didn’t care about anything anymore, just the dance. 

She lost track of time, sometimes the music became slow and gentle and then they would dance close and she felt the heat from his body and knew she was safe there with him, she didn’t want this to end. The large hands which held her felt so incredibly warm and solid and nothing could harm her when he was there. She let him kiss her again, and the kisses grew bolder and deeper and she started feeling a bit weird once more. She could feel his heartbeat and when he pulled her close she could also feel that he was very hard and obviously ready for just about anything. They danced on for a while and suddenly a sort of sigh went through the crowd and everybody stopped. Some elves with torches walked slowly through the crowd heading for the groove and they wore some sort of robes covered with cirth runes. A single drum was being beaten in a slow heavy rhythm and the crowd just stood there, in absolute silence, everybody staring at the ground. She whispered to him. “What is going on now?”

Mablung held her hand. “The most sacred part of the festival, a ritual. It takes place within the groove.” 

She frowned, feeling curious. “Oh, can everybody watch or is it just those elves over there?”

He smiled. “Every adult elf can watch yes, not just the shamans” 

She saw that the shaman’s were heading into the groove and she frowned. “Can we go? I want to see” 

Mablung sort of mumbled. “ I am not so sure you should” 

She felt confused. “Why? Is it dangerous?” 

He made a grimace, and didn’t look her in the eye. “ Uh, no. Absolutely not but like I told you this is a festival celebrating fertility and well, to be blunt, it is a very sexualized ritual”

Lerina felt herself blush intensely. But she still felt curious, she wanted to see more of this culture which was so unbound and free. “It doesn’t matter, I want to learn more about the customs of the elves of Endor. Please?”

He sighed. “ Alright, but I am warning you, you will be shocked” 

She just nodded and they followed the other elves who joined the shamans. She saw that they all were adults and now she started to regret it a bit. Had she been too bold? She saw that there was an open glen in between the massive oaks and on it were two statues. Lerina let out a gasp, they were not like any statues she had seen before, carved from wood and very lifelike but also rather weird. One was of a female standing with her legs a bit apart and her arms reaching out as if to embrace someone, she didn’t have a face, just a smooth surface and the hair was made from vines and flowers, and reached the ground. The statue had very lifelike breasts and a slit between the legs and Lerina realized that this had to be their depiction of the mother Goddess. The other statue was a male, also faceless but with a wreath of roses around its head and Lerina did yelp when she saw that this statue was sporting a set of very realistic looking male genitalia, fully erect. Fertility festival indeed, she started to feel sweaty. The crowd gathered very tightly and Mablung stood behind her, holding her close as if to protect her. The glen was bowl shaped so everybody could see and he whispered to her. “Remember, you asked for this, don’t blame me if it gets too much”

She scoffed. “ I am not afraid?”

He chuckled. “No, you are very bold, but it is not fear I mean when I speak of it being too much” 

She turned her head, staring at him questioningly. “Oh?” 

He actually blushed. “Lerina, what you are gonna see, uh, it may….turn you on” 

She blinked, feeling like a fool. “ What? Why?” 

He rolled his eyes. “ Oh for Eru’s sake elleth, just you wait and see, You have to be dead inside not to feel anything whence this starts. “ 

She stared at the bottom of the bowl, the shamans were chanting something, shaking some sort of instruments and now two elves emerged from behind the oaks, both were naked and painted and it was an ellon and an elleth. The ellon wore the top half of a deer’s head hide over his head, with antlers and all and the elleth had the top half of a doe’s skin covering her head. Mablung whispered. “The doe and the stag, they are chosen by the shamans, to represent the powers of nature. It is a tremendous honor. “

Lerina saw that the crowd had fallen silent, everybody staring at the two elves. The shamans were chanting again, very loudly and the two went in front of the statues, kneeling. Both appeared to make a small cut in a finger with a small knife, smearing the blood onto the statues, over the heart area. Lerina realized that this really was very sacred to these elves, the atmosphere was loaded and many appeared to be praying. Then the two got up and now they started dancing around each other, but it wasn’t like any dance she had ever seen before. This dance was slow, sensual and they were touching and caressing each other and Lerina felt her cheeks and ears burn intensely. Oh Eru, it was one thing to be curious about strange cultures but this? She couldn’t believe it! The stag was sort of rubbing himself up against the doe and since both were stark naked it was not difficult to see that he was ready to say the least. Mablung whispered in her ear and his voice was a bit hoarse. “Wanna leave?”

There was a teasing tone in his voice, a challenge and she shook her head, to Nàmo with it, she was no coward. She could deal with it, this was after all a sacred rite, who was she to say that it was wrong in any way? She had long ago realized that it was the pious and strict ways of the vanyar and some noldor which were wrong. The dance was getting more and more suggestive and she realized that the whole crowd now was chanting, a sort of monotonous and yet powerful song of some sort and they were swaying with the rhythm, like one being. The energy within the area was insane, the air loaded. Then she saw that the female depicting the doe was kneeling down in front of the male statue and she gasped when she saw that the male playing the role of the stag fell to his knees behind the elleth and… She turned her head, staring at Mablung, eyes wide. “Are they…”

He chuckled. “Fucking? Yes, I warned you didn’t I? He is mounting her like a stag does mount a doe.” 

Lerina saw that the elleth raised a hand and grasped onto the very visible male parts of the statue and that gesture made many in the crowd laugh out loud. “She is a cheeky one, the gods love that, they love happy females.” 

Lerina swallowed hard, the crowd was still chanting, but the rhythm had become faster and the tone different and the two in front of the statues were moving to that rhythm. It was as if the crowd were one with them, shared the energy and the rite. Lerina blushed, her ears burned and she couldn’t watch, she stared down at her toes and heard everything instead. The female let out some sharp squeals and then she cried out. The male kept moving for a few seconds and then he collapsed forward, roaring. Lerina had never been that embarrassed in her life, it was way too intimate to watch and yet the atmosphere and the odd energy in the air did affect her, she felt her own skin tingle and she felt hot and strangely euphoric. She had no idea of whether it was the wine or the general mood there which affected her.

She could hear that Mablung was breathing hard, and his hand on her shoulder did tremble. The two in front of the statues got up and started dancing around once more, around the statues and now the doe appeared to be chasing the stag. Then they switched and after a short while they ended up in front of the statues yet again, this time with the stag on top, facing the doe. Lerina had to look away yet again but the image sort of burned itself into her mind, graceful bodies moving as one, sharing the same rhythm and the same life, the same hope.  
The chanting got gentler, more soothing and this time they obviously used more time, they didn’t rush it. Lerina saw that many couples within the crowd were doing some pretty obvious groping and to her shock she did see that a couple not far from them actually were doing it, standing. The elleth had just pulled her skirts up at the back and it was rather obvious that she enjoyed it immensely judging by the odd grimaces she was making. Mablung whispered to Lerina and his voice was shaking and breathless. “This night will be the start of many marriages, and there will be quite a few elflings born too, a year from now. It is a sacred night”

Lerina just whimpered. Sacred? Oh Eru, more like overly loaded with an energy that made her heart pump wildly in her chest and to her shame and confusion she did feel she was getting wet. Mablung was caressing her hair and her shoulders and suddenly she felt him kiss the back of her neck, it gave her goosebumps and she realized that he probably was turned on, just like most others in the crowd. She closed her eyes and felt him pull her closer, felt him breathe and shiver slightly and for some bizarre reason she wasn’t afraid anymore. Somehow this whole odd and primitive rite showed her that it after all was completely natural, nothing to hide or be ashamed of. She felt him moving with the rhythm, very gently and she allowed herself to sway with him. The whole crowd moved as a single entity, and she did find it almost beautiful. 

The stag and the doe did finish yet again and remained laying there, cuddling, the crowd started to move, formed a line and everyone passed by the statues and touched them. Lerina saw that the females often put their hands on the male parts of the statue of the hunter’s god and Mablung explained that they thought it would bring luck and ensure that their children grew to be bold hunters. It seemed almost as if the insane energy of the crowd somehow got transferred to the statues for the air became much less loaded and more peaceful, almost tranquil. “You cannot take without giving something back, that is the philosophy of the wood elves and you have seen a great example of that now”

His voice was still rather husky and sent shivers through her, but she understood. When had the elves she grew up among been thinking like that? They too joined the long line and Lerina hesitated when she reached the male statue, she bit her lip and stared at the very realistic phallus and Mablung chuckled. “Don’t be shy, give it a good tug” 

She had to giggle and convinced herself that it was okay, the wood was warm under her hand and for a moment she could have sworn it was alive. She gasped and Mablung gave her ass a small smack. “ You felt the energy didn’t you? Good, that is a blessing”

She sort of smiled and in a way she felt oddly humble, she was an outsider and yet everybody had accepted her there, nobody had even questioned her right to stay and watch. It was quite wonderful. The crowd finished walking past the statues and some left, Mablung held Lerina by the hand and the shamans walked forth again. The doe disappeared into the woods but the stag remained and the shamans shouted something out loud. The crowd answered, and a young elleth came out from the woods behind the statues. She was naked except from a sort of red sash tied around her waist and she looked rather young. Lerina frowned. “Who is she? What is she doing?”

Mablung sort of hawked. “ Ah, this is an avarin custom, some tribes do follow it, not many but those who hold hard onto the old ways. “ 

She stared at him. “ And?” 

He shrugged, looked away with a faint blush. “ Well, She has just come of age, and if an elleth comes of age just before one of these festivals she can chose the stag as her first lover.”

Lerina blinked. “What? But…”

He sighed and turned her around, stared into her face. “ :Listen, I know that your people have other customs, that they view this very differently from the avari elves, but to them this is normal, in fact that elleth will be regarded as a very desirable spouse”

Lerina sort of gasped, remembering her own wedding, and the day after. The rage of her parents, and her injuries. How much better wasn’t this approach to it, this view? “She will not be regarded as….spoiled?” 

He chuckled. “Far from it, the avari elves sees sex as something positive, something to be enjoyed. What is the point in having a hröa if you find no pleasure in it? An elleth who remains a maiden for very long after her coming of age will be regarded as faulty, and pitiful. Having many partners before you find your one only makes you more desirable, it shows you will be a good spouse.” 

Lerina saw that the stag did approach the elleth, and he untied the red sash and ripped it in two. Mablung nodded. “See? By doing that he shows that he accepts her, and from now on she will be seen as someone who has been touched by the gods. She will be able to pick whoever she wants as her lovers, and all the unwed males will want her. By being hers they will share her powers, and she will get a spouse who will quite literally worship her” 

Lerina had a hard time believing all this, but it made sense in an odd way. She cringed, if she had been an avarin nis she would have been seen as flawed then, as unnatural, if anyone had known the truth. But with her reputation she guessed that these elves would see her as quite the opposite, as one more or less blessed. That was a very odd thought. The stag started caressing and kissing the young elleth and she participated quite eagerly. Lerina just stared rather flabbergasted when she realized that the couple were going to do it right here, in public. Mablung saw her expression and grinned, a wicked smile. “It is done this way, everybody will know that the stag has deflowered her, and that she has taken his powers into her and is blessed. She may even become one of the shaman’s over time” 

Lerina swallowed, she looked down. “You did find out who my husband was, did…did you hear about…the rumors?”

He sighed and embraced her tightly, kissed her brow. “ Yes, I did hear about that. I don’t care, really! It doesn’t matter at all who you have been with, we don’t think that way. Some of the sindar would but not we who follow the old ways, just the nobles from the court of our king, and those influenced by the noldor and the valar.” 

Lerina made a grimace, how was she ever to tell him the truth? The couple had ended up on the ground now, it was obvious that the stag knew what he was doing for the elleth was writhing and moaning and Lerina felt herself blush all the way to her eartips yet again. What would it be like if…No, not that kind of thoughts, but what if…She didn’t know what to think anymore. The stag had gotten on top of the elleth who wrapped her legs around him and he appeared to be speaking to her, and his expression was very loving and filled with a sort of awe. Lerina saw that he suddenly moved and the young elleth sort of gasped and then she let out a short scream and Lerina felt her own heart hammer wildly. She bit her lower lip, mixed emotions flooded her and she felt herself shaking. Mablung stared at her face and frowned. He pulled her close and caressed her back gently. “Lerina? Are you alright?”

She tried to smile but couldn’t, she tried to drag her eyes away from the couple, the stag was moving slowly and with a steady rhythm and the elleth had started whimpering and crying out again but this time in obvious pleasure. It made her stomach churn and her legs felt weak and she was shameless, so shameless but for a few seconds she wished that it was her laying there, having it over with. Mablung caught her chin with his hand and lifted it towards his own face. “You didn’t have a very good first time now did you? Have you ever enjoyed it, even once?”

She stammered, her eyes flickering, oh Eru, what to say? “O…only that …thing you did, in the woods” 

He sighed and pulled her close again. “Oh sweet one, I am so sorry to hear that, you must have had such a dreadful love life then”

She could just give him a sheepish grin, feeling like the worst person in the world for lying to him. He patted her on the back. “Come, it is almost time to light the bonfire and I want to show you some real fun” 

She let out a sigh of relief, everybody were leaving now and the couple on the ground were left on their own, obviously enjoying themselves a lot. There was quite a crowd gathered around the bonfire now, and many Ellyn who had stripped down to their waists. Mablung too took off his shirt and gave it to Lerina with a wink and a boyish grin. “Here, take care of it” 

She stared at the unlit heap of firewood, it was huge! How was anyone to jump over that? Someone came carrying an empty barrel and it was filled with cold water and she stared at Mablung with narrow eyes. “Water?” 

He nodded, still grinning like a madman. He shook out his long hair and she saw that the other Ellyn too had their hair loose. She blushed, he was the tallest there, and even if there were some who were a bit more muscular she did find him to be absolute perfection. He moved with such pride and such confidence and again she could only compare him with a huge cat, elegance and power merged into one. All the Ellyn went over and dunked their heads in the barrel and she realized why, they didn’t want to scorch their hair, this was protection. An elleth wearing a very elaborate dress made from just knotted strings of hide threw a torch into the bonfire with a shout and the wood caught fire. Mablung and the others lined up and she jumped when she heard a voice close to her. It was Beleg and he was holding a canister of wine in one hand and the other was snaked around the waist of a tanned and almost naked avari elleth who was grinning like mad.  
“The youngest will start, they are not strong enough for the really daring jumps.”

Lerina sort of scoffed, it still looked very dangerous as the fire caught and started to roar higher. “Is there some meaning to this?” 

Beleg nodded. “Yes, it symbolize the cleansing of the fëa, it is said to remove all darkness, and all things wicked and cruel. “

Lerina stared at the bonfire, it was burning hot already. “ Know what? I do not doubt you!” 

The crowd was cheering and the first ellon came running and jumped over the flames, landing safely on the other side. At the fire got stronger it became more and more difficult and she saw that Mablung did jump with the elegance of a deer. It was no effort for him at all. After a short while the young Ellyn sort of stepped back and the older more experienced ones started jumping and now it really became a competition. Lerina screamed a few times when she was sure the jumper would fall to his death in the flames but they all made it over, although a few did burn their boots. Lerina watched Mablung, saw his wide white grin, the way his eyes sparkled with joy and his obvious joy challenging himself and the others and her heart sort of soared, her chest felt too small, like a cage trapping it. She swallowed and couldn’t take her eyes off him, his skin was glistening in the light from the fire and she saw how droplets of water shone like diamonds where the light hit them. He was…She couldn’t even describe it and her entire fëa seemed to vibrate with a need far greater than any physical feeling. She just knew it, he was her one, the other half of her fëa and she couldn’t deny it, not anymore.

Four Ellyn were left now and the fire was roaring, reaching for the stars. The males did bold jumps and they tried to add some difficulty to it. They spun around themselves, did the splits right in the middle of the jump or turned around so they landed backwards. Some even landed so they had to roll like balls along the ground to slow down their speed. As the fire got larger they sort of quit one by one, the only Mablung and a skinny avari ellon were left. The avari was clad in thick leather pants and he wore some paint which had started running off him, he did look feral and strong and Lerina held her breath. The elleth who had lit the fire raised a hand. “ One jump left each, make it count” 

Beleg grinned. “The fire is getting too strong, it is getting really dangerous.” 

Lerina swallowed. Oh Eru, she didn’t need that piece of information. Mablung sort of grinned and gestured to the avari ellon, let him jump first. The avari walked away from the bonfire, then he leaned forth and ran like lightening towards it, jumping at the very last moment and he spun like a top through the flames, landing steadily on the other side. The crowd was cheering and he wiped sparks from his pants, looking very confident. Mablung dunked his head in the barrel once more and he stared at Lerina, winked and blew her a kiss and everybody laughed and seemed to find that rather sweet and endearing. Lerina couldn’t breathe, what was he going to do? She was afraid he would get hurt and she bit her lower lip so hard it hurt as he lined up and seemed to calculate the jump.  
Then he ran, and took off, high, very high. And then he did flip forward and did a somersault through the flames, rather near the base and when he landed in a cloud of sparks and steam he held a flaming piece of wood in his hand and tossed it at the feet of the avari ellon who just stared, flabbergasted. Lerina let out a shriek of relief, and the crowd went mad, everybody were cheering and Mablung walked over in a cloud of steam, shook the remaining water out of his hair and then he grasped Lerina by her waist and lifted her up, kissed her hard right in front of everyone. Beleg shouted. “That was insane, did the dwarves spill your brains when they killed you?”

Mablung showed Beleg the finger with a huge grin. “No, only my guts, I know what I am doing!”

He kept holding Lerina up and she giggled and saw the fire in his gaze and remembered what Ariniel had said. It is better to jump into it than to crawl. An ellon came forth carrying a very nice dagger with a leather sheath and gave it to Mablung who held it high with a shout of triumph, then he pressed the dagger into her hand. “Here, this is yours, a good dagger is something everybody ought to own” 

She felt overwhelmed. “But it is your prize?”

Mablung just shrugged. “Oh I have a dozen of those already”

He kissed her gently and she felt the scent of burned wood and ash from him, and her dress got soaked from his wet hair and she couldn’t hold it in anymore. She leaned forth and whispered into his ear. “ I want you, I want you now!”

Mablung let out a small sound which sounded like a growl and a new sort of fire ignited in his eyes, he kissed her neck and whispered back. “ Eru how I have waited for those words, let’s go!”

He let her back down and the crowd was still cheering as they made their way through it, Beleg waved a hand after them and grinned and Mablung sort of blushed but he didn’t slow down and he whistled for his horse. Lerina felt nervous again, but she didn’t want to hesitate now. “Where are we going?”

He smiled. “ I know the perfect spot” 

He got her up and jumped up behind her and as they rode he kept kissing her neck, playing with her nipples through her dress and Lerina felt as if she was on fire. But she had to confess now, had to tell him the truth. She just didn’t know how! She gasped and felt so terribly warm and she was so wet she could feel it soaking her underwear. The thought of what she was about to do make her shiver, soon it would be her laying like that elleth who gave herself to the stag, giving her own virtue to Mablung and it was a gift she was more than ready to give, she was just more than a little bit nervous. As they rode she felt his hardness press against her rear and the feeling made her whimper and he took her hand and pulled it back, laid it between them and she could feel him through the fabric of his pants. “Don’t worry, I will be gentle” 

His voice was breathless and hoarse and it made her shudder, and the heat from his body felt like a lit hearth. He turned his horse by the river and let it run along the shore for a while before he turned it back into the woods and they entered a small clearing in front of a giant oak. The tree was massive and Lerina had to gasp, it glowed! Thousands if not millions of fireflies had settled in the canopy and it was as if the stars themselves had fallen down from the skies. It was so beautiful it almost made her cry. Mablung lifted her off the horse and kissed her and she whimpered as she felt his tongue asking for access to her mouth. She did open up and the feeling of slick wetness sliding against her own tongue and lips made her legs give out under her. He caught her, carrying her off towards the tree and laying her down on the soft moss. It really was perfect and she felt how her heart was beating so fast, and she trembled. Oh Ariniel would have to eat her words, Lerina would not return home unwed, that was for sure. He kept kissing her, a hand snaked up under her dress and pulled her panties down and she let him, without hesitating. He tossed the piece of fabric away and grinned. “They were soaked, because of me?” 

She nodded, biting her lip, feeling how a heavy sensation grew within her belly and slowly seeped downwards, made her intimate area pulse with need. He groaned and made short business out of her dress. He just tugged it off her and then he sat up on his knees, unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down. Lerina gasped and stared, she hadn’t seen him up close before and she suddenly felt nervous once more. How was that going to even fit?!Oh Eru, this could be the most horrible idea she had ever had but there was no way back now. He leaned forth as he got rid of the pants and his boots and kissed her nipples, licked and sucked at them and the feeling which exploded in her was so strong it made her cry out. She hadn’t known it was possible to feel that type of need, it was overwhelming! He kept kissing and teasing her and she remembered the feeling he had given her back by the groove of nut trees, she wanted it again, desperately. Her whole being was screaming for that sense of release and she whimpered and tried to pull him closer. “You are really turned on aren’t you? Oh you are wonderful, I am so honored to be yours”

He was gasping the words and she panted and closed her eyes, tried to think clearly for at least a few moments longer. “M…Mablung…I…I have to confess something…” 

He looked up, eyes black with desire and she could see that he was trembling all over. “ Yes meleth?”

She felt a hand sliding up and down her inner thighs and she squealed, oh valar, it was so good, and she wanted to much more. “I…Ariniel, she…can you swe…swear to keep this as a secret?”

He nodded, leaned his forehead against hers and smiled, a soft and loving smile with a hint of melancholy in it. “Lerina, I am not stupid now am I? I have sort of figured out that she has to be your niece’s daughter”

Lerina blushed, her eyes huge with shock and he kissed her gently, soothingly. “Yes, I swear, I will not tell anyone, there, done”

She took a deep breath. “How?”

He nipped at her neck and she squeaked. “The things you told me, the way you acted by the groove where we picked nuts, the rumors”

She trembled. “You…you don’t think it is weird?” 

He grasped her hand. “No, I know you love her like your own flesh and blood, and that you would do anything for her, if that doesn’t make you her mother then nothing does”

Lerina gasped, laid her arms around him and closed her eyes. “Thank you, you have no idea how much those words mean to me”

He just smiled, kissed her cheek and then he slowly licked the tip of her ear, making her squirm and cry out. The fire in her body reignited and she felt a new surge of wetness spread between her legs. He groaned. “ I can smell your desire little one, do you have any idea of what you are doing to me?”

He pushed himself down a bit, nipped at her nipples and Lerina gasped when she felt something contract deep within her, it had to be her womb and she realized that it was waiting to be filled with his seed. The thought made her yelp and she stared at him again, eyes even wider than before. “You…you asked if I had…enjoyed it…and….I said no but that was…”

He looked down at her, saw the nervous expression in her eyes, felt her tremble and it clicked, everything fell into place and it was unbelievable. He let a hand slide all the way up to where her thighs met and let a finger slide in between her nether lips, pressed it gently towards her opening and felt the tightness there in spite of her arousal. He just gaped. The reason why her parents had beaten the crap out of her hadn’t been that she had been with someone before, it had been that her husband had refused to fuck her. He felt a rush of emotions, and the strongest one was disbelief, and pity. “ Lerina? You are a virgin?!”

She whimpered and nodded. He took her hand and felt that it trembled. “How? But…”

She took a deep breath. “Maedhros did pity me, I was like a child, no curves, way too skinny and terrified. Mom had said it would be horrible and that I just had to endure. So he didn’t want me in that way at all, we just pretended and…and he did love Fingon and Saeriel came to help me after the attack and they got drunk and they fucked and she got pregnant and I took Ariniel as mine, because she was Maedhros daughter”

Mablung blinked, then he let out a whimper. “Oh Lerina, sweet sweet brave little one, you have let them slander your name, treat you like a whore and even attack you and you have never spoken up for yourself? If there ever was a soul more pure and brave than yours then do call me a donkey and feed me carrots”

She bit her lip. “You are not mad? I have lied to you, to everybody” 

He sighed. “You have lied to protect those you love, that is no shame, no sin. No, I am not mad, I am in awe of your determination little one.” 

He stared down into those wonderful eyes and knew that he never had met a female that strong, or loving. And he also knew that he never would let her go, ever!  
He took her hand again and kissed it. “Lerina, I am yours, now and forever, if you want me that way”

She giggled and then she sort of whispered. “Are…are you proposing?”

He smiled, kissed her with passion and heard her gasp. “Heck yes, I have done many things in my time, errors and great deeds but this, this is the one thing I know I’ll never regret. “

Lerina sort of snorted, then she kissed him back and nodded. “Yes, I want you, like that too” 

He smiled, nuzzled her cheek. “I will have rings made as soon as I can, and nobody will be allowed to say a negative word about you again, this I swear”

She giggled and stared into his eyes and felt something odd, like a closeness she hadn’t felt before. Without even knowing what she was saying she started whispering words she didn’t know but he repeated them with a very tender expression upon his face. She had no idea where the words came from but she felt them deep within her fëa and knew they were true, that they were ancient and bonded their fëar forever. He leaned his forehead against hers, whispering. “ I love you Lerina, now, let me love you and worship you the way a husband is supposed to love and cherish his wife” 

She nodded, suddenly feeling nervous again, the heat was simmering in her belly still and he kissed her neck, licking it gently. It made her squirm. “Yes”

She couldn’t say anything else, and he smiled, then he kissed her with passion and she felt how he got himself in position over her. He kept kissing her, kept caressing her and she relaxed, her body did take over, and it had no doubt nor fear. It knew what it wanted and before long she was trembling with need once again. She didn’t know what to expect, the young elleth the stag had taken had screamed but only once and she was sure she could handle pain if it didn’t last long. Mablung was gasping, and his skin slick with sweat, she knew that this had to be very tough on him since he had to restrain himself a lot not to hurt her. He raised himself up onto his arms, eyes almost completely black and he had an expression of near pain on his face. “Little one, I am gonna make you come before I take you, that way you won’t feel that much pain, do you understand?”

She nodded, and he smiled, there was such love in that smile it made her heart swell. “ I understand” 

He pushed his hips forth and she gasped as she felt his hardness against her slit, it was so warm and hard and it twitched too. He sort of gasped. “ It is eager for you, for your pleasure”

Lerina too had to gasp for air as he started to rub himself against her, slowly back and forth, pressing against her and each move made him push against that sensitive bundle of nerves and it sent shockwaves through her. She was whimpering his name, grasping onto long locks of silky dark hair trying to pull him down but he resisted, kept moving in rhythm and it felt so marvelous she could have screamed. She had to wrap her legs around his hips, and if she raised her head and looked down she could see him slide back and forth between her legs and the sight made her mewl his name and writhe. She no longer thought about what would happen next, she was alive within the very moment and that was all that existed. The smooth slide of that hard cock against her most sensitive spot and the empty hollow feeling her body screamed for him to fill. 

The pleasure grew and grew and she recognized the feeling from the incident in the nut groove, she knew it was going to happen again and she moaned his name and started rocking her hips back against him, sweat making everything feel slick and smooth and he gasped and groaned and Lerina couldn’t stop it. It all came crashing down and she screamed as the pleasure just exploded within her, spreading through her body and making her shudder with strong spasms. Mablung let out a feral growl, then he changed the angle of his hips and before she had time to get nervous or even think about it he pushed in, all the way, with one strong thrust.  
The world turned blank, she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, every nerve in her body ablaze and all she could feel was the sensation of being filled and stretched for the first time, beyond what she thought she was capable of. It was intense pleasure and pain mixed into one insane sensation and she screamed again, bucking against him, clawing at his shoulders. She was gonna split down the middle, she was sure, it was too much, he was too big but then he started to move slowly and the sensation of being too full transformed into the most insane feeling she had ever had. She was complete, whole, he slid smoothly back and forth in her and she let her head fall back with a groan, it didn’t hurt, it just felt…perfect.

They were as close as they possibly could be and she felt his fëa reach out to hers and she met him, allowed them to merge, let the bond be completed. Each thrust was like a wave pushing up against a shore and the waves grew, got wilder and stronger and she started crying out with each one, clinging to him almost desperately as she knew it would happen yet again and he groaned her name and kept moving, gasping and struggling to hold back until she did come. 

He didn’t have to wait for long, she let out a wordless cry as it came rushing through her once again and this time her inner muscles had something to grasp onto and it made the feeling so much more intense, she saw shooting stars and kept screaming like she was being murdered while he kept thrusting desperately and came with a loud groan. Lerina had never thought that it was possible for the female to feel that her partner did cum but she did, she felt how warm pulses seemed to fill her even more and she let out a final whimper as he collapsed onto her and kept whispering words she didn’t understand, but she knew their meaning. They laid there breathless and limp for some minutes before they were able to get themselves together again, Lerina had never felt such intimacy, and she had never felt so loved, so appreciated. It made her fëa sing and he made a sort of laughter and kissed her forehead. “My friends will think I am insane, for having married a noldorin elleth, but just let them, it isn’t as if I had a reputation for being sane before either.”

She giggled and he sighed and kissed her, a slow gentle kiss. “I wasn’t too much? How are you feeling?”

She had to close her eyes. “Like…like there never could be greater joy bestowed upon me, ever.”

He chuckled. “ Oh that is quite some praise, but just you wait, I will show you so much more, we’ll just wait for a couple of days before we repeat this, I bet you are a bit sore” 

She had to frown and he smiled a bit and pulled out and she winced and gasped. Sore? Oh Eru, she felt split in half but it didn’t matter, it would be a forgotten memory soon enough. “Uh, yes, you are right” 

He nodded. “ I thought so, I hope it wasn’t too terrible?”

She giggled again and let her arms lock around him. “It wasn’t terrible at all, the pain wasn’t that bad, I barely felt it”

He nodded. “That is why it is such a great trick, to do it just as the elleth is coming. A friend taught me that one, I am grateful for it”

Lerina tipped her head. “Have you deflowered many virgins?” 

Mablung snorted. “No, believe me, you were my first”

She nuzzled his neck and sort of cuddled up to him, he was still warm and the night was chilly. “Then I am honored” 

He had to laugh. “As am I, oh little one, I have never even dreamed of feeling such joy, but know that I will stand by you forever, and I will never let you down.”

She nodded and felt tired, in fact she felt absolutely exhausted and she yawned, Mablung got up and got a blanket from the saddle and they cuddled up together, feeling how the newly formed bond made their fëar sing in unison. Lerina giggled. “Did you think of babies right now?” 

He sort of chuckled. “ In fact I did, you?”

She nodded. “Me too” 

He kissed her hair. “Then things may happen, you know that?” 

She nodded. “ Yes, would you mind?” 

He shook his head. “No, not at all. I guess it is about time I settle down, and I bet we could have gorgeous children” 

She sighed and closed her eyes. “The loveliest ones ever, because they would be yours”

He closed his eyes too, in need of real sleep just like she was, the bond required it too in order to reach its full strength, reverie wasn’t enough. “ And yours” 

Lerina just mumbled something before her lights went out and he thought it sounded like “At least I won’t have my rear smacked”

She drifted off into sleep and before long he followed, feeling more happy than ever before in his existence. He had a hard time believing that this was true, but it was and it was like his fëa was close to exploding from sheer happiness. 

 

Meanwhile in Tirion very few felt happy. The search for the conspirators had been fruitless this far and Finwë was furious. The entire family was gathered at the palace now and they desperately wanted a piece of information which could give them some hope. A box had arrived with a lock of hair in it and Nerdanel had identified it as her daughter’s, it had her scent and that had made her collapse. The twins had to carry her off to a guestroom for her to rest. Finarfin was wandering around in circles blaming himself for having caused this, thinking it was his rule which had triggered such a reaction and Finwë was trying to explain that he too had fought moron’s who thought that they were capable of ruling the noldor. It wasn’t such a sweet place to be and few had the strength and determination needed to be king. It had been a constant struggle and now that he was re-embodied the valar had returned him stronger and more aggressive than before, they had probably realized that it was needed.  
They were sitting trying to determine whether or not they ought to simply force someone to speak when a servant entered the room, bowing deeply. “My lords, this ellon came a few minutes ago, he claims to have information regarding lady Alciel.”

Everybody snapped their heads around and Finwë ran down from his throne. The ellon in question was a slender short elf clad in brown and grey and he appeared to be a hunter. He was clearly no noldo, more likely a silvan and he felt to one knee as the high king approached and bent his neck to show his submission. Finwë stared at him with huge eyes. “Speak freely, and fast” 

The ellon got back up and nodded. “I am Arasder, I serve lord Aicion and I work training his hunting dogs”

Finwë nodded. “I know of lord Aicion yes, if he haven’t changed while I was in the halls he is an uptight ass kissing scoundrel.” 

Arasder had to grin. “Oh you are right on the spot, he haven’t changed your majesty. But two days ago I was in the kennel helping one of the bitches giving birth and the lord and another ellon came walking by. They didn’t hear me, but I did hear them”

Finwë tensed up. “Go on”

Arasder nodded. “ The other ellon was the one called Lumbano, he isn’t a noble man but very wealthy and he has influence.”

Finwë nodded. “ I know him too, a creep. To cowardly to do anything but complain about his own lack of power.” 

Arasder continued. “They mentioned Costaro and Calpon, they have left to seek out Costaro’s daughter, he wants Calpon to marry her. They also mentioned lady Alciel, how her marrying one of their followers would bring them even more influence.” 

Finwë gasped. “What?! Oh Eru, that is not good, do you think they are capable of forcing her?”

Arasder licked his lips. “Your majesty, my lord have changed much lately, he has gotten greedier and more ruthless, yes, they are capable of using force.” 

Finwë bit his teeth together. “So let it not be said that we don’t return force with force. Now we have names.” 

He turned to the others and his eyes were blazing. “Finarfin, you take some warriors and head to Costaro’s place. If he isn’t there seize all his papers and arrest his wife, she will benefit from a few days in a cell.” 

Finarfin snapped his fingers and grinned. “ What about Lerina?” 

Finwë spat. “If that creep have managed to force her into yet another unwanted marriage I will personally see that the marriage is annulled, but I feel that she may have become too strong for them. The valar didn’t like what happened to her back in the years of the trees so they are on her side. “ 

He let out a shout and several guards came running. “ I will go to your lord’s place Arasder, you can see yourself as unemployed but if you are good with hounds we do have need for a good kennel master here” 

Arasder bowed deeply. “ It would be an honor my lord” 

Finwë smiled swiftly. “ Great, you are hired. “ 

He turned to the guards. “Saddle up and get your weapons, we ride now. There is no time to loose if we are to save lady Alciel from being violated by those spit lickers.”

Finarfin too had a hard expression on his face and marched off to find his best warriors and the other family members stood there gaping. Most of the family had been returned by now except the sons of Fëanor and Fingon and Fingolfin, and Turgon and Argon stood there stepping in one place, eager to do something. Nerdanel had joined them again and she was a bit pale. “Someone must go and see if Lerina is alright, I cannot bare the thought of her being harmed in any way” 

Argon and Orodreth immediately volunteered for that task and ran off and some others went to prepare themselves in case they needed to fight. The palace was a buzzing bee hive for a short time before two large troops lead by the high king and his son rode out. Nerdanel sat in a chair, desperately hoping that her daughter was alright, and Aredhel who had been re-embodied just weeks earlier tried to calm her down and soothe her fears. She had never met Alciel but if she was the way they described her she had every hope that the elleth would be capable of fighting just about anybody. 

 

Alciel had been half asleep when suddenly she heard voices, she got up and clenched her jaw hard, tried to appear strong and unbreakable. The door opened and the ner she had met the last time entered, he smiled and the smile was a wicked one. “So how is the blushing bride today? Rejoice, tomorrow you will be wedded, and worry not, he is more than worthy of you” 

Alciel sneered. “ You are naught but a piece of shit, and you are an idiot if you think that the high king will bow to your will” 

The ner smiled again. “ Oh your uncle would perhaps resist but your grandfather? I don’t think so, he is back pretty one, and he will not risk losing more family members”

Alciel had a hard time believing that anyone could be that block headed. “Are you stupid? Marrying me doesn’t give you any sort of privileges, not even riches” 

The ner didn’t stop smiling “That is what you think daughter of Fëanor, that is what you think” 

He turned around and closed the door and she sat down, panting. Tomorrow? Eru, she couldn’t wait any longer, she had to do it now! She found the mushroom she had hidden in her food bowl and stared at it. It did look disgusting but she had never been a coward, she closed her eyes and opened her mouth and stuffed it in, swallowed it with the last of the dirty water she had been given. The taste was absolutely god-awful but it went down and she cringed and tried not to retch. It was done, if this was the last thing she ever did then be it, better than to be forced into a marriage she didn’t want. She just hoped that her mother would forgive her if she died. She laid down on the bed and closed her eyes, the poison worked differently in different people so she had no idea of what to expect. She just hoped she wouldn’t suffer too much if this went the wrong way. She could just pray that her family was safe, and that nobody was in a position to hurt them further.


	12. Deception and power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The house of Finwë is out on the prowl, the kidnappers has to be found before it is too late. Alciel finds a new ally and Lerina is recovering from her wedding night.

Chapter 12: Deceptions and power. 

 

The room lay in darkness and the two ner gathered by the bed were lighted by torches, both looked very nervous and they stared down at the nis laying on the simple bed. She was pale, grey in the face and unconscious and her body twitched in a very nasty manner. They stared at each other and the older one sneered. “Damnation, what is wrong with her?” 

The younger one swallowed hard. “Could it be the food?” 

The older one made a grimace. “It could be the herbs, some react to them” 

The younger one frowned. “Have they added the herbs to her food already?” 

The older one nodded and felt the nis pulse, it was very erratic and weak and he realized that she was very ill indeed. “Yes, but not much. Shit, it could be the room too, this place reeks of mold and dirt” 

The young ner looked very nervous. “So what are we to do? What if she dies?”

The older one made a gesture. “We cannot afford that, it will ruin every plan we have. No, we have to get a healer” 

The young one gasped. “A healer? But…that is dangerous, we can be exposed!” 

The older one looked very dark. His eyes were distant and he cursed under his breath. “I know of a healer in the village down by the river, she is one of those goddamn heathens, she won’t understand anything and we can keep her until the wedding is done.” 

The young one lightened up, he smiled. “A great idea, do that. Get that healer.” 

The old one turned around and walked towards the door. “She may be no good but at least we have tried.” 

The young one followed him out and they closed the door. “Lumbano will arrive this afternoon, what are we to tell him?” 

The older one just sent him a very stiff grin. “That the bride to be will be ready soon enough. They won’t dare to risk her safety, we are safe” 

The younger ner frowned, he didn’t want to sound pessimistic but he had a strong sense of foreboding. Perhaps it would be a good idea to put his legs on his neck and make a run for it? The Finwions were a hardy bunch and they did look out for their own like non others. The older ner caught hold of a nervous servant and told the ner to go and get the healer and the elf ran off and appeared to be very glad he had an excuse for leaving the perimeter.   
\--------------------------------------------------  
Belegornith had been busy with her collection of herbs when a noldorin ner entered the yard outside her simple hut. She immediately knew he had to have come from the hunting lodge up on the hill and he did look nervous. She bowed her head to be polite but she didn’t like the noldor at all, they were haughty and rather stiff the way she saw it. You hardly ever saw them smile, and they didn’t seem to enjoy life at all. The ner did smile but he was a bit pale. “My lady, my master wishes to ask for your help, a relative of his is ill.” 

She frowned. “Why should I help you noldor?”

The ner looked even more nervous. “Please, the nis is very ill and we have no idea what is wrong with her.”

Belegornith sighed, a sick nis. Well, she couldn’t say no to helping another female in need, a ner was one thing but a nis something else. She sent him a curt smile. “ I will come then, I will get my things and it won’t be long.” 

She entered the cabin and found her bag, she had herbs and instruments in it and she wondered what the problem was. These protected and shielded noldorin nissi could become ill from things an ordinary elf hardly would notice at all.

The servant lead her up towards the hunting lodge, it was an old castle, not very large but well build and it hadn’t been used for a while. She had no idea of why it had been put back into use now, it was a creepy place and not very cozy even when inhabited. 

The lord of the place met her by the entrance, he was a tall noldo with a bit of a tan and he looked hard, like a polished sword. Belegornith didn’t like him, she immediately knew that this was a ner nobody should trust. She managed to smile and bowed her head, no point in provoking anything. She saw that he was eying her rather suspiciously, she did look like the avarin vanyar she was, with tattoos and her hair braided into intricate patterns and she did wear tanned leather, not silk or brocade. “I have a sick relative. The poor child did become ill all of a sudden, we think she has been exploring the basement and perhaps come into contact with something bad” 

Belegornith nodded. “Very well, take me to her” 

The ner went in front of her through the old castle and Belegornith had to hide a shudder, the place was dank and dark and couldn’t have been used for more than a week at the most. It was cold and did smell of rot and it was not the ideal place for a sick person. They entered a bedroom and she did notice that the windows were barred. The door too had a rather hefty lock on it and Belegornith got a bad feeling. A very beautiful young nis lay on a luxurious bed and she was covered with sweat and did look very ill indeed. She was barely breathing and her skin did look rather grey. It was a bad sign and Belegornith got busy. She smelled the nis breath, felt her pulse, examined her belly and tried to understand what the problem was. The ner stood there by the door, if this was his relative Belegornith was a pink bear, something fishy was going on and she tried to act calmly and get to the bottom of it. “She has most certainly got into contact with something very toxic, was she in the basement for a long time?” 

Belegornith pushed some strands of silky black hair out of the face and stroked the sweaty brow, she did notice something odd and grasped the nis left hand, as if to examine the pulse. The ner shrugged. “Half a day we think, she is to get married soon and we were busy with preparation and didn’t notice that she was gone” 

 

Belegornith frowned but didn’t let the ner see it. Married? Now that was probably not a marriage this nis approved off, as a vanyar living the avarin lifestyle Belegornith could feel way more than a noldo and this nis did reek of despair. The hand had spots on it, from something which looked like purple dust and Belegornith wouldn’t have been a healer if she hadn’t seen what it was. No sane adult elf did ingest that mushroom by accident, everybody knew it was toxic. She tried to think fast. “She needs some rather rare herbs, and much care. Still she may die, I think she have inhaled the spores of some sorts of very dangerous mold. It can kill even an elf”

Belegornith couldn’t mention the mushroom, this nis had ingested it either as a way out or as a way of attracting attention to herself and her plight. Belegornith did know that forced marriages had happened among the noldor and she wasn’t stupid. Now she had to help this poor nis in any way she could. The ner looked angry. “You do have the right herbs?” 

Belegornith nodded. “I do, but I need help, hot water and milk, and charcoal, lots of it.” 

The ner sort of grimaced. “ I will get that.” 

He turned around and yelled at the servant by the door, this ner seemed to be an authority within this household, or maybe more of a tyrant if she was to interpret the behavior of the servant right. Belegornith knew that the noldor did regard her people as lowly and possibly stupid too so she tried to pretend as if they were right in their assumptions. She just sat there while the servant went to get what she wanted and the richly clad ner just stared at her, with much the same expression as someone staring at a nasty bug climbing on their shoe.   
The servant returned and Belegornith got busy, she did mix the herbs and the charchoal and the milk into a terribly looking goo and then she found a tube and managed to get the liquid down into the nis stomach. The ner sort of frowned. “Why charcoal if she has inhaled the spores?” 

Belegornith smiled like some dimwit, she had no problem acting like a moron if that could save someone’s life. “It helps getting the poisons out of her body.” 

The ner scoffed and Belegornith made some thin powder from some herbs and let the nis inhale it, it was in reality just something to ease breathing but the ner didn’t need to know that. She sort of chanted softly as she worked, it was to calm her own nerves but to the noldo it probably sounded like dubious sorcery or something like that. Belegornith was a good healer, she was maybe not as good as the maiar of ;Lorien or the legendary Elrond of Imladris but she had great skills and she could have been very famous is she had wanted to. But she preferred a quiet lifestyle and the forest gave her all she needed. 

The nis sort of moaned and tossed a little and Belegornith smiled. “The herbs are working, she will make it. She has a strong fëa this one” 

The ner sort of raised an eyebrow. “Good, you will stay here until she is up and about again. A servant will bring you food” 

The ner turned around on his heel and walked out of the room and Belegornith did hear the sound of a key being turned in the lock. Perfect, she had her suspicions confirmed there and then. This nis was absolutely in deep trouble. She sighed and stroked the sweaty brown and continued to chant some healing songs. After a while the nis shivered and opened her eyes, they were clouded by pain and fear and Belegornith hummed softly. “Relax, you are safe. I am a healer.”

The nis groaned. “Please, my family, they have to learn of where I am. I have been kidnapped.” 

Belegornith sighed. “ I sort of guessed that, and they want you to marry someone you don’t want yes?” 

The nis nodded, her eyes closed since she probably was terribly dizzy. “You are right, I am Alciel of Tirion, daughter of Nerdanel and Fëanor” 

Belegornith gasped, oh damnation, she had put her hand into a hornets nest this time. The noldorin royals? She did almost pity the culprits, the Finwions would be all over them like a pack of angry wolves. Belegornith tried to smile. “I am Belegornith, just that. I am a healer for the avari elves, and you are in a hunting lodge far south of Tirion.” 

Alciel groaned. “They will never find me then, not fast enough. I recon you too are trapped here?” 

Belegornith nodded. “They have locked the door yes, they haven’t said that I am a prisoner but there is no doubt about the truth. I am to stay here until they have married you off” 

Alciel sighed and wiped the sweat from her brow. “ Oh Eru, I ate that mushroom hoping for help” 

Belegornith smiled and held her hand. “You did the right thing dear, I may be able to help after all. I have friends out there and I know a way of letting them know of this.” 

Alciel looked puzzled. “How? We are locked in?” 

Belegornith smiled and walked over to the window, it was very narrow, barely a foot wide and it was placed high on the wall, nobody could get out there but that didn’t mean that nothing could get in. She nodded at the noldorin nis. “I am a woodelf, following the old ways. There is much the inhabitants of Aman have forgotten” 

She stood underneath the window and started to sing, an eerily haunting soft tune with no words but an almost hypnotic rhythm. For anyone listening it had to sound like a healing song but it wasn’t anything like that at all. Belegornith continued to sing for a while, her voice sweet and soft like she was trying to sing a child to sleep and Alciel realized that the healer was trying to call something to her. After a while there was a scratching sound and a small bird showed up on the window sill, it was pale grey with a blue chest and the small beady eyes stared at Belegornith. She held a hand out and the bird landed on it, chirping merrily and the healer whispered something to the tiny creature. The bird chirped again and flew out of the window and Belegornith smiled, a narrow smile. “I have a friend among the avari elves, a shaman. The bird will seek him and then they will help us” 

Alciel sort of swallowed. “Are you sure? “ 

She nodded sternly. “ Yes, worry not. They will find us” 

Alciel sighed and closed her eyes. “I cannot seem to be too well too fast, or else they will try to force me right away. “

Belegornith sent her a wicked grin. “Worry not, I have some herbs here which will make you very unattractive. Puke and diarrhea is a very small price to pay for freedom wouldn’t you say?”

Alciel had to grin. “Indeed, not a very pleasant thing but I can handle it. You are as devious and clever as my father” 

Belegornith just bowed her head. “Thank you my lady, that is a compliment I will remember.” 

She went over to her bag and mixed some powders and Alciel made a grimace but swallowed it all. Belegornith sat down and stroked her hair. “Now all we have to do is wait dear, worry not, I will not let anyone hurt one of my patients” 

Alciel managed to make a faint smile, she still felt alike shit and would feel that way for yet a while but it was a small price to pay. The servant returned after a while with a tray of food, some wine and a bucket and Alciel pretended to be unconscious still. Belegornith put on her most non threatening face and smiled gratefully. She had to convince everybody there that she was helpless and that there was nothing she could do to rescue herself or Alciel. The servant scooted out again and he did look a bit relieved that he was out of there. He probably feared that Alciel’s sickness was contagious even if elves never get sick the way mortals do. 

Belegornith arranged the blankets around Alciel to prevent her from getting cold, she just hoped that her friend would get the message soon. It was quite a distance to cross for the little bird and the forest was full of dangers.   
\----------------------------------------  
Finarfin was feeling an odd mix of emotions, he felt angry on the behalf of the family, worried about Alciel, nervous about his mission and most of all he felt a sense of relief. He no longer was the one in charge, the one having to make the decisions. His father had always been the perfect king, able to get the very best out of people and this was just the sort of situation in which he excelled. Finarfin had never had his father’s charisma and he had always preferred a more private life away from the court and all the gossip and drama. He rode hard in front of his men, he had good warriors following him and he didn’t hold back so before long they rode into the yard in front of the house of Lerina’s parents. Some servants emerged, puzzled by the sudden visit and Finarfin managed to look rather intimidating, he was getting more and more angry the more he thought of the situation. 

The house was large and luxurious but it lacked warmth, it wasn’t cozy or homely and he remembered Lerina and her frail appearance and got even more angry. This was not a home but a hell hole and he grasped his sword in a firm grip. He got off the horse and addressed a ner who had to be the butler. “Where is the master of this house?” 

The servant recognized him and bowed his head, looking flabbergasted. “He is not here my king, he has been away from some days now. We do not know where he is. His wife is here though?” 

Finarfin took a deep breath, right now he did look like an angry lion with the thick golden hair like a halo around his head and he wore his armor. He had been fighting and he knew how to intimidate someone, he had to use it for all it was worth for he knew that Lerina’s mother was quite a piece of work. The servant hurried through the house and Finarfin ordered five of his warriors to follow while the others guarded the gate. Nobody was to enter nor leave. Finarfin was grinding his teeth by the time the servant stopped by a door decorated with some very elegant panels made from lacquered wood and turquoise mosaics. It had to cost a fortune and Finarfin had seen through the mask these elves were wearing a long ago. It was all about greed and vanity. The servant knocked and entered and Finarfin entered a room which had to be the private quarters of the lady of the house. Everything was very feminine and elegant but it was simply too much. Too many colors and too many things stuffed into a limited space. The lady of the house stood there staring with huge eyes, she wore a very elegant dress made from blue silk and it was probably something she just wore when she was indoors for it was revealing to say the least. 

She sort of moaned and grasped a blanket and wrapped that around herself and Finarfin stared at her with cold eyes. “ Where is your husband?” 

She looked very nervous. “I…I don’t know, he was to visit our daughter?” 

Finarfin growled and caressed his blade in a manner which couldn’t be misinterpreted. “ Oh? To force her into yet another unwanted marriage?” 

The nis sort of scowled. “That is none of your business” 

Finarfin sent her a very cold grin. “Maybe not, but a conspiracy against the throne is very much my business, so where is he? Answer me or I cannot guarantee your safety, my father is returned and things will get very different from now on. He isn’t as mellow as he used to be, believe me!” 

She sort of gasped and her eyes got huge, then she sort of grimaced and her eyes were flickering back and forth, looking for a way out. She suddenly bolted towards a door at the back of the room and at the same time she did toss something at Finarfin, it was a perfume bottle and it hit the floor with a smash. Pieces of glass flew everywhere and with it a strong stench of roses and lilies. One of the warriors reacted within the blink of an eye, he ran forth and grasped the nis with a hard grip and lifted her off the ground by her waist. She screamed and kicked and cursed but the ner was very strong and her held her tightly and Finarfin cursed and grasped her by the chin, forced her to look at him. “That was stupid, very stupid. Attacking a royal? Trying to flee? Now that screams guilty, I bet father will get the truth out of you rather fast. How about a flogging, in public? I bet that will loosen that tongue of yours, rather fast” 

The nis just gasped and her eyes were wide with terror but she didn’t say another word and Finarfin sighed. “Fine, if she won’t speak we have some reborn elves used to torturing orcs, she is nastier than any orc but that won’t stop them I think” 

The warrior hoisted the sobbing nis over his shoulder and she let out a wail of sheer anguish, her legs were visible now and to the pious female that had to be completely horrible. Finarfin grinned, a vicious grin nobody would have expected from him. “ I think we will take her to the palace right now, strip her and tie her to a horse, and do cut her hair too, she is not to shield herself with it” 

Lerina’s mother let out another wail, she was pale like chalk and trembled. “No, oh Eru have mercy. He…he is probably heading for the hunting lodge of one of his friends, Aicion I think” 

Finarfin frowned. “Where?!”

She shook her head. “I don’t know, I swear to Eru, I am a good wife, I never interfere with my husband’s affairs” 

Finarfin just scoffed and nodded at the warriors. “Tie her up but let her keep her clothes on. “ 

Lerina’s mother was sobbing now, the very idea of being arrested probably scared the living daylights out of her. It was well deserved. They got back to the yard and the servants had gathered, shocked and confused and Finarfin stared at them with narrow eyes. “You are all unemployed from this moment on, your masters have forfeit their right to be citizens of this realm and their belongings are to be divided between their children. You may leave now or stay until Costaro has been arrested too. If he tried to contact any of you do tell us, or else you will be a culprit in a conspiracy against the throne. “ 

None of the servants looked heartbroken, they did in fact smile and the butler had a hard time trying to hide a wide grin. They hoisted Lerina’s mother onto a horse and she tried to look as if she had some dignity but it failed miserably. Finarfin told four warriors to remain and guard the house and then they rode off. He just hoped that his father knew where Aicion’s hunting lodge was.   
\---------------------------------------------------  
Finwê was so angry he shivered, he had never expected that anybody would go this far, the elves had indeed gotten corrupted by Melkor in the years he had been allowed to run free and that corruption still lingered within their souls, or at least within the soul of some. Perhaps they all needed a quick trip to the halls for some thorough cleansing. The mansion of Aicion was located to the north of Tirion and it lay in a very idyllic area. Right now Finwë didn’t think about the beauty of the land, all he did think about was the betrayal and the fact that his granddaughter was in jeopardy. He rode so fast his warriors had a hard time keeping up with him and he was almost glowing with rage as he entered the courtyard. As a reborn he had great powers, everything got purified and magnified in the halls and now he did indeed look like a great king, powerful and awesome. The servants of Aicion and his guards just stared at the king as she stopped his gasping horse and some fell to their knees, afraid their last hour had arrived. 

Finwë almost snarled and he wouldn’t hesitate using force, not this time. His eyes were glowing and some of the elves present didn’t even dare to look at him. “Your master has committed treason, if you swear not to obey him and swear to turn your back to him I will let you go. Those who do not will be prosecuted” 

The nis who was in charge of the household stepped forth, she was shivering but there was some pride in her eyes. “My king, our master is a horrible person, and we wouldn’t have served him if there was a choice. None have any loyalty towards him and we would all pledge a wow of obedience to you.” 

Finwê smiled, a quick smile. “Good, where is that piece of orc dung?” 

One of the guards stepped forth. “He is probably in his hunting lodge. It is in the forests to the south” 

Finwê was thinking fast. “I know of that place, it is very remote and very old. He has kidnapped my granddaughter, have anyone seen anything?” 

Another servant came forth, he smelled of horse. “He and some others took a carriage and some horses some days ago, didn’t say where they were going, or why they needed the carriage” 

Finwê sighed, Alciel was in the lodge, or else they could call him a dimwit. But it was days away and he feared for Alciel’s safety. “We will ride there then, with an army. Everybody, your service to Aicion has ended, feel free to leave.” 

He turned his horse and spurred it and the rest of the warriors followed him, suddenly time was running short indeed. In such a remote place Alciel would be completely on her own and the kidnappers would be in complete control of her. His heart was aching, they had to hurry like never before.   
\--------------------------------------------------  
Lerina did wake up very slowly, she felt heavy and drowsy and there as a weight on her hip and something very warm close to her? She jerked and then she remembered and had to grin, oh yes, she wouldn’t disappoint Ariniel, that was for sure. Married indeed, Mablung sighed in his sleep and the arm wrapped around her got tighter, pulled her closer. She giggled and closed her eyes, she had never even imagined that such happiness was possible and she just thanked the maker that this had happened. She felt whole and complete and was eternally happy Maedhros had found her unattractive. Mablung was the one truly made for her, that was beyond doubt. She knew she couldn’t sleep any more, the day was already many hours old and the sun was high. She turned around with some difficulty and Mablung groaned and opened his eyes. “Good morning love, if we sleep any more now we will feel terrible” 

He blinked and smiled, kissed her slowly. “You are right. Eru how I love you!”

Lerina giggled and got up, oh damnation she was sore, but it was a good type of soreness. She giggled again and got up on her knees, Mablung stared at her with dark eyes. “Lerina, get up or I will forget about my promise and take you again” 

She realized that her standing there on her knees and hands with her ass up like that did things to him so she got up and ran down to the river, threw herself into the shallow water. It was lukewarm and she scrubbed herself vigorously. She felt sticky all over and Mablung got up too and stretched and yawned before he too sauntered down to the waters and waded out until the water reached his waist. He washed thoroughly and Lerina had to admire the view and she did too, shamelessly. She felt strangely free, safe even. They were bonded and she could feel his emotion like a distant thrum through their connection. He felt happy and content and she remembered the night before and had to blush again. 

They got dressed and walked back towards the village, slowly and arm in arm. Lerina didn’t need to speak, no words could fully express what she felt and she felt completely at peace. Mablung was humming some sweet tune and they didn’t hurry at all returning to the village. Mablung caressed her back. “I guess we will need to get a place of our own now, my talan is too small for two and your daughter shouldn’t have to share her home with her own mother” 

Lerina giggled. “You are right, we would cause her embarrassment for sure, any idea of where we can live?”

Mablung bit his lower lip. “Yes, I know of a tree not far from here, a giant oak. We could build a huge talan in it, one with many rooms. It would be perfect” 

Lerina sort of purred. “Is it pretty there?”

He nodded. “Beautiful, with a wide meadow, dense grooves of trees and a small lake too, but not as beautiful as you.”

She had to get up on her toes to kiss him and he bent down and met her, his kiss filled with tender passion. “Then it is decided.” 

He tilted his head. “You don’t want to take a look at it first?” 

She shook her head. “I trust you, if you say it is perfect it is.” 

He hugged her and they walked on, the path was long and winding but Lerina found that it didn’t matter at all, she could walk there with him forever. 

They reached the village just before noon and Lerina felt a twang of nervousness, what would Ariniel say now? There was no way she could hide this, both of them were glowing with happiness and the newly formed marriage bond visible in their eyes too. She could just go with the flow. They got greeted by a few of the elves they met, some winked and cheered and Lerina blushed and felt silly. Did everybody know what she had done? Oh crap, probably yes. Ariniel was busy removing weeds from her garden as Lerina and Mablung returned and Lerina saw that Ariniel stared with her mouth wide open for a few seconds before she let out a peal of joy and ran towards them. Lerina got a tight hug, then Mablung too and Ariniel was almost sobbing. “Oh mother, this is wonderful, I am so happy for you. It is so romantic, this is a blessed day indeed” 

Lerina had to cough and grin and Mablung just smiled, he still looked very happy and Ariniel winked at Lerina. “Now, how was he?”

Lerina almost lost her breath in shock and Mablung did indeed blush rather vigorously and Ariniel just laughed and petted Lerina on the back. “Worry not mother, I am not out to get the juicy details, I can see that you both are very…pleased”

Lerina scoffed and hoped that Ariniel wouldn’t notice her slight limp, she still felt a bit tender in certain places and realized that she from now on could look forward to a heck of a lot of fun. The thought made her giggle slightly. “We plan on moving into our own talan soon, but until then, may we stay here?”

Ariniel just nodded with glee. “ Of course, I am very glad you want to stay here. Oh this is just so beautiful, finally you have the happiness you deserve”

Lerina felt a bit humble there and then. “Yes, I cannot really believe it, yet” 

Ariniel put her hands together. “ I will go and prepare some food, I bet you both are hungry now?” 

Mablungs stomach did growl and Lerina had to laugh, he did look a bit guilty and she nodded. “Yes, we could need some food, but don’t overdo it, please” 

Ariniel just winked. “Of course not.” 

Half an hour later they were presented with a veritable feast, Ariniel had found almost all the food she had in the house and even some wine and Lerina grimaced. “I told you not to exaggerate and what did you do? Exaggerate!”

Ariniel laughed. “Oh but you deserve a feast, it is your first day as a newly wedded elleth now isn’t it? You need to regain your strength” 

Lerina blushed intensely, Ariniel could be very direct at times and way more bold when it came to language than her mother ever were. Mablung just scoffed. “I do not need that thank you, I am not some weakling noldo” 

Ariniel giggled. “Oh I was referring to mom, can’t you see you have exhausted her?” 

Lerina scoffed. “I am not that tired, we have slept tonight, not just…ah, you know” 

Ariniel almost chirped like a bird. “Been busy practicing the art of good old love making? You do need food mom, I wouldn’t mind a baby sister or brother to spoil” 

Lerina had to swallow and Mablung sort of scoffed and blushed. Ariniel nudged him with her elbow. “I bet this stud here will make sure that my wish comes true pretty fast, he looks like he knows what he is doing” 

Lerina was blushing like a beetroot and made a grimace. “Ariniel, please, shut up1 Let us eat!” 

Ariniel giggled again. “Of course, I will leave you two love birds to it then.” 

She sauntered out of the door, presumably to tell the entire village of the great news and Lerina groaned and wished to hide. Mablung took her hand, caressing it gently. “Do not worry love, they are happy on your behalf. Soon things will be back to normal, I promise” 

Lerina just nodded and took some bread and cheese, she was in fact very hungry and Mablung sort of fed her and they forgot everything except each other. Afterwards they helped Ariniel with her yard work and spent the evening by the river fishing before they returned to Lerina’s room for the night, Her bed was a bit small but it didn’t matter, they laid there curled up and she felt sorry that they couldn’t do it yet again. She wanted to, she wanted it so bad and her body was aching like mad whenever he touched her, however innocently. But she still felt very tender and didn’t want to ruin this by getting injured in any way so they just laid there, cuddling instead. 

She breathed in his scent and listened to his heart and knew that she would do anything for him, that he was her everything from now on, or at least until they got children. She nuzzled his neck and sighed with the pleasure of knowing she was loved. “ Have you ever loved someone?” 

Mablung chuckled. “Do you mean like true love or just making love?” 

She didn’t move. “The first?” 

He shook his head. “No, I can honestly say I never have loved anyone, I have been in love a few times but that doesn’t last very long, and yes, I have bedded many, both before and after my rebirth but that has just been for pleasure, never for anything more” 

She nodded against his neck, feeling sleepy. “I am glad you have experience then. And good memories too” 

He sort of shifted a bit. “Yes, mostly good I must admit.” 

She lifted her head. “ Mostly? Do you have some bad experiences too?” 

He nodded slowly. “Yes, when I was very young and just starting to serve our king back in Beleriand one of the officers was very fond of humiliating the young warriors if they did something he didn’t like. And well, I once did do something wrong and he did humiliate me, pretty horribly too” 

Lerina sensed his feelings, he felt shame and fear and also anger, a lot of that. She embraced him tightly. “What happened?” 

He sighed, kissed her forehead. “That son of an orc had me whipped, in front of the other recruits, that was bad enough but he had developed a sort of hatred towards me, why I don’t know but I guess I was popular and he wasn’t and so…..” 

She held him, feeling him shiver for a moment. “Yes?” 

He took a deep breath. “I wasn’t that strong yet, I was yet to gain a name for myself, nobody could really punish him so he took me, right in front of everyone. And it was horrible, not just the pain but the feeling of being just a thing, something to be used and tossed away”

Lerina felt his inner turmoil and for a moment she almost saw it, a very young version of her beloved, tied down and being violated by some high ranking officer. “That is just sick? Elves cannot do that?”

Mablung sighed. “No? you didn’t see the world I came from. It was way more violent than this one. He was a sick twisted ellon who found his death soon afterwards, at the end of an orc spear. It was well deserved but I couldn’t forget nor forgive, it stayed with me for many yeni after he was gone” 

She sensed his sorrow and kissed him softly. “That is the past now, and you have me remember? Forget about that life, this is the only life which matters” 

He smiled and kissed her, let long fingers slide through her hair. “You are right, it is time to let old memories die” 

He embraced her and she relaxed and felt herself slowly drift into a deep sleep. Tomorrow she would feel better and perhaps they could try it again, she really wanted that.   
\-----------------------------------------------  
As the morning sun rose above the forests one of the avari elves climbed down from his talan and walked towards the ditch which served as the latrine for the small village. He was whistling a jolly tune and thinking about the things he was to do this day. There were herbs to be gathered and some rituals to practice and he knew that the festival had ended with at least five new wedded couples. That was wonderful and promised well for the future. He was heading back to his talan when he heard an odd sound, it was a bird chirping but the chirps sounded a bit out of breath and it was obviously trying to tell him something, way too fast. He stared up, the bird sat on a branch and was almost shivering with eager energy. “Whoa there little one, slow down!”

The bird took a deep breath and the chirps came at a more normal rate, the shaman listened carefully and then he gasped and stared at the bird with huge eyes. “Is that true, oh by Oromë’s arrows, I have got to go!”

He ran off and the bird took a deep sigh of relief. His job was done, he could return to hunting grubs and wooing the females. The elf ran into the village, shouting to get everyone’s attention and before long a group of elves left the small settlement, heading north.


	13. Tigress in lamb's clothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are on their way to free Alciel, but danger still lurks, and Lerina is faced with yet another loved one in peril.

Chapter 13 Tigress in lamb’s clothing

Belegornith just knew that this would be a waiting game and it was. In the evening the tall ner entered the room once more. Alciel couldn’t pretend to be unconscious anymore but she did puke a lot and Belegornith just loved the expression of utter disgust on the male’s face. He looked as if he would rather be somewhere else. She told him Alciel’s body needed some time to get rid of the poisons and that it would take at least a day and the ner looked furious. She knew that this was one power hungry and nasty person and she tried to look as meek and harmless as she could and luckily Alciel was too busy throwing up to say her heartfelt meaning and that was good, Belegornith had heard of this nis flaming temper. 

Belegornith often went to the window and listened, she did hear the sound of someone approaching and she heard horses whinny and distant voices. Apparently the would be groom had arrived and some others with him. She hoped there wouldn’t be too many present, her friends didn’t want to end up as kin slayers but she knew that the avarin elves would kill if they had to. She had no doubt that these noldor were fanatics and probably more than a wee bit insane too. How could anyone believe that the family of Alciel would let something like this happen without trying to fight it? She knew the Finwions from countless tales and if what she knew was right there could be an army heading their way already now. Oh how she longed to watch these scoundrels getting their just punishment. 

Alciel was pining, she felt horrible and she was fuming with rage and fear and yet it didn’t subdue her spirit, not even a bit. She was in every way her father’s daughter and Belegornith knew that she would be alright, if they just could avoid the marriage. She hadn’t dared to give Alciel any food since she had told of the drugs she feared the culprits already had added to it and she just blessed the fact that some of her medicine could be used to counteract such deviltry. She had already given Alciel a dose of it to be on the safe side and she shook her head in disbelief and disgust, such actions were worthy of orcs, not elves. Maybe some of these noldor were reborn orcs, ones Namo hadn’t managed to cleanse completely? That wouldn’t surprise her, not even a bit. She had managed to discover the name of their captor, he was Aicion and Alciel did recognize the name. Her mother had told of him, a very ambitious and ruthless one who always wanted to get as close to the seat of power as possible. He was probably capable of just about anything and nobody should trust him. Now Belegornith made the time pass by singing and making sure that Alciel was as comfortable as possible and she crossed her fingers and hoped that somebody would come, and fast. 

In the small courtyard some neri were gathered, Aicion, Lumbano and the young ner who’s name was Avaron. He was a courtier of no real importance, a grey mouse in a corner which nobody did notice and he was ready to follow anyone who did see him and give him some attention. Some warriors were also there, ner working for Aicion and some were noldor but a few were of sindar origin, reborn elves who had taken the job just because they had been warriors also in beleriand and sought what seemed like a secure job. Lumbano was steaming with impatience and Aicion had to calm him down with some well chosen descriptions of Alciel’s condition. The marriage could not be consummated just yet, even Lumbano would find it disgusting to lay with a nis in that sort of state. 

They knew that Costaro and Calpon were on their way too and that they soon would arrive and so things would be perfect. They would gain what they so long had waited for, a foothold within the royal clan. That the royals wouldn’t accept them was something neither did bother with, as long as there was a marriage and an heir on the way nobody would dare to intervene. Aicion was sure that even the old king would have bowed to anyone having a good hold of one of the family members, alright, that nis was more than a handful but Lumbano was firm handed and would know how to subdue her soon enough and then they could work their way towards the top. They just had to be patient. 

At the same time Costaro and Calpon were making their way south with their servants, they were still fuming and Costaro had a hard time containing his wrath. That little vixen, she had tricked them and by Eru, he would have his vengeance. They had been delayed a lot by the fact that his horse had lost a shoe and now they were late. In fact they were very late and they rode hard. Aicion’s castle lay way to the south and they were expected. Costaro had received word of Aicion’s plans by pigeon and he knew that the leader was angry because he hadn’t managed to get hold of his daughter the way they had hoped to. It was very annoying indeed. That tall sinda had gotten in their way and Costaro would have loved to tear that pretty face off his skull. Costaro had been genuinely scared of the ellon and he could never forgive anyone for having made him look weak. Yes, he should be able to get a fair vengeance, sooner or later. 

He was so deep within his own thoughts he didn’t hear the sound of hooves approaching from behind but Calpon did and he quickly turned his horse around and pushed it into the bushes beside the road. The others followed and before long they were passed by two riders on expensive thoroughbreds, riding all hell for leather. Costaro stared, his eyes wide. He did recognize them, it was Orodreth and Argon, offspring of Finarfin and Fingolfin and their presence here only meant one thing, the king was onto them. How much did he know? Costaro swallowed hard, if he did manage to get his hands on Aicion and the others they would speak, he had no doubt about that. They were too weak, to pampered and soft to withstand any sort of torture. And then his name would be mentioned to, and he would lose everything, his name and fortune and even his reputation. 

He needed leverage, something he could use to secure his standing, make sure he didn’t face some centuries in the halls. His mind was working overdrive and he was sweating, he imagined being exiled to the high north, or worse, middle earth. He was too wise and too smart to end up as an orc’s dinner. No, he had to act, now!   
He turned to Calpon. “Change of plans, we do return to the village, but we won’t follow the road. They were heading there too, we cannot allow ourselves to be seen.” 

Calpon frowned. “What are you planning on doing?”

Costaro almost sneered. “Lerina is protected by that overgrown sinda, we shouldn’t try to engage him, not without an army by our side. But my granddaughter? Her husband is not a warrior and she often works alone. If we have her we can travel south, find somewhere safe and make a living for ourselves. Only primitive elves live in those woods, I bet they would welcome us and let us rule them the way that sinda Oropher ruled the silvans.” 

Calpon did frown but he didn’t protest, he just knew that this was a plan which could backfire, he didn’t like the idea of having a hostage. Such actions usually spelled disaster in big fat letters and if Costaro was going down he didn’t want to follow him at all. He would have to make sure that he could flee if it came to that, and he would have no problems leaving Costaro for the wolves, quite literally.   
They rode away from the road and Costaro was swearing to himself as he chose a forest road which would take them to the village again, from another direction. It was long and winding but not that well known and he didn’t bother thinking of the mess Aicion and the others would face soon. All that mattered was that he got away unscathed.   
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The avarin elves had gathered and rode out and messengers either rode or ran through the canopies to alert the other tribes of the kidnapping of one of their healers and a noldorin elleth. They knew of the old hunting lodge and it wasn’t that far away but they wouldn’t approach right away, they feared that a sudden attack would force the kidnappers to use the ellith as shields and so they tried to come up with a good plan. The avarin warriors were excellent archers and they had also alerted the local sindar and noldor of the situation and so the news spread through the forests with the speed of a falcon. 

Lerina and Mablung were busy taking measures of the oak when Beleg suddenly came running into the clearing, he was carrying a bow and a quiver packed with arrows and a sword and he did look rather furious. Mablung dropped his tools and frowned and Lerina felt a shiver run through her, the peace had come to an end, she just knew it. “What brings you here my friend?” 

Beleg bowed his head towards Lerina in respect but his eyes were blazing. “An avarin elleth has been kidnapped, by some noldor morons who also have taken the daughter of Fêanor as hostage. They want to force her to marry one of them, to get a foothold within the royal family” 

Lerina felt dizzy, Alciel? Oh Eru, no! Mablung sneered. “Are you serious?! That is just…” 

Beleg nodded. “I know, but they have. The ellith is being held in a hunting lodge west of here, it is old but well known, it belongs to a noldor lord, probably one of the conspirators.” 

Lerina swallowed, she felt cold all over. Her father, her father was one of them, she was dead sure. “ We have to go to the village, to tell Ariniel. She and Alciel are so good friends, she would want to know.” 

Mablung nodded. “ Yes, I have my weapons at her place too. Is everybody going?” 

 

Beleg smiled, an ominous looking grin” Oh yes, you can bet upon that. Belegornith is a very good healer and very well loved by everyone.” 

Mablung just grasped Lerina by the hand and they ran back to the village, she felt her heart beat hard in her chest and her mouth was dry. If they had called for a healer it meant that Alciel was hurt in some manner and her very soul ached at the idea of that bright and rebellious young nis subdued by someone with evil intent. They ran into Ariniel’s house with Beleg hot at their heels, he did look as if he was ready to slay just about anything and Ariniel dropped her basket of nuts with a small yip. “What is going on?!”

Mablung growled. “Some idiots are trying to do the same to Alciel as Lerina’s father tried to do to her. Forcing a marriage. I trust you haven’t heard of this yet, but Alciel may need some help when she has been rescued.”

Ariniel gasped and her eyes got huge and wide. “Oh Eru, that is just awful! How do you know?!”

Beleg stared at the floors. “They have kidnapped an avarin healer too, she has sent a message to one of the avarin shamans with the help of a bird.” 

Ariniel seemed to tremble. “Oh no, that means she is hurt. Are you going now?” 

Beleg nodded. “Yes, as soon as all the clans have gathered. We cannot afford to wait any longer. If they force a marriage Alciel could be harmed both in hroa and fêa and Belegornith could be disposed of. These are ruthless beings, I have barely heard of worse.”

Lerina swallowed. “Are there a horse available anywhere? I want to come too!”

Mablung sent her a rather strict glance, then it softened. “I bet that can be arranged my love, but do not do anything stupid.” 

She shook her head and Ariniel spun around. “I want to come too, I need a horse as well” 

Lerina swallowed. “No, stay here. This is the closest village to the lodge and this is where we will take her when she is freed. You need to prepare the house, gather medicine and everything we may need. There could be many wounded if those idiots chose to fight.” 

Ariniel was fighting herself for a while, then she sort of calmed down. “Alright, I will stay. I am after all no fighter, I will prepare for the worst though”

Lerina hugged her. “Great, gather the ellith and make sure everybody knows what to do” 

Mablung was about to step outside when two riders came racing into the village. Lerina gaped, it was Orodreth and Argon, both very recognizable and very agitated. Mablung and Lerina went to them and both the ner tried to speak at the same time and Mablung had to shout to make them slow down and concentrate. They told what they had found out and were shocked to find that Lerina indeed were married again but this time of her own free will, and now they put two and two together and it was no doubt that Costaro was among the ones trying to overthrow the king. Lerina was thrilled to find that Finwë had returned and now they even knew the names of some of the conspirators. It was excellent. 

Orodreth was a bit awestruck by meeting Mablung and now things started happening rather fast. The army of avarin elves moved out, towards the lodge and Mablung got Lerina a horse and they followed. Lerina was very determined to stop anyone from harming her daughter’s best friend and she did look very angry. There was fire in those normally gentle eyes and Mablung smiled at her. She was spectacular like that. So fiery and so passionate, she had more fire in her than anyone could have guessed and he liked that. She wasn’t one to bow to problems, instead she would face them head on. 

At the same time an exodus happened also from Tirion. Finwë had gathered every available warrior, and some vanyar who had fought in the war of wrath had also volunteered. Finarfin had returned with Costaro’s wife who had been put in the dungeons until further notice and now he had changed to a new armor and did look like a warrior. Every one of the family did follow the army, even Nerdanel and the twins and all carried weapons. Some citizens did show up to see the army leave and it was an impressive sight. Some of the maiar showed up too, shocked by the actions of these eldar and a couple agreed to follow the army in case the culprits refused to surrender. Finwë had braided his impressive mane and he wore his best armor, one Fëanor had made for him before the darkening. It was very beautiful and yet a bit ominous and he thought that it was very fitting for the situation. Everybody within the households of the suspected conspirators were put under arrest to prevent anybody from warning the ner in question and Tirion was buzzing like a beehive with speculations.   
The army consisted of at least five hundred warriors and that was if not a huge overkill a very impressive number. Finwë had decided to let Finarfin lead the troops, after all, he had fought a real war while Finwë didn’t have that sort of experience. They rode hard to the south and knew they would reach the lodge within the next two days. The horses were fit and strong and well rested and the riders eager to show their skills yet again. 

The avarin army was larger, at least three times the number of noldor and vanyar elves but it was quiet. Barely a sound was heard as it moved forth through the woods and they reached the lodge early in the morning. The ancient building was soon surrounded but nobody inside of it knew of that fact. The wood elves did know the art of staying hidden, a huge group could be in one’s close surroundings and yet nobody would know. Mablung and Lerina sat in a tall beech which allowed them to see the top of the buildings, she stared at the old lodge and found it rather sinister. It didn’t look like a cozy place at all. Some servants left to gather water, others to tend to the horses grazing on the pastures around the place. None did notice that they were being watched and the shaman who had received the message had already called a raven to him and told it to seek Belegornith. The bird cawed and nodded and took off and Mablung knew that these avarin elves were so connected with nature they could do things others would think was impossible.

Belegornith had been half asleep when the raven arrived, it cawed and blinked and she ran over and allowed it to rest on her shoulder. It told her the avarin elves had arrived and she breathed a sigh of relief. It was about time. The raven told her they would step into action soon, but the forest told them others too were on their way and they wanted to wait for them to catch up. Belegornith was a bit puzzled until the raven told of riders wearing shiny metal and she grinned, a rather sinister grin which told of a lot of dark joy. The noldor were coming, the culprits would face their full wrath!

The day went calmly, the avarin elves waited and as the sun set the first part of Finwë’s army reached the area. The avarin elves met the first of the warriors in a clearing and Finwë didn’t get any less angry when they told of Belegornith and the fact that Alciel was sick. Finarfin was almost shivering and Nerdanel went deathly pale and Amrod and Amras had to help her down off her horse. She was shaking all over and some of the avarin ellith came forth to help her. Lerina too came forth and everybody was rather shocked to find out that she by now had married Mablung but everybody were very happy on her behalf and congratulated her whole heartedly. For a moment joy filled the air before things got serious once more, the avarin elves saw to Beleg for leadership now and he and Finwë and the others of the family sat down to make a plan. If they just attacked the lodge Alciel and Belegornith could be harmed, they had to use more brains than brawl. 

Lerina sat with Nerdanel and heard everything which had happened from her, she felt a bit guilty having been through her most wonderful days ever while Alciel had been kidnapped like that but what could she really do about it? Nerdanel was still in shock and the twins were trying to cheer her up, they were firm in their belief that Alciel would be rescued soon. It was just a small hunting lodge, barely a fortress at all and there couldn’t be more than twenty elves defending it. They just had to get someone inside, to keep the gates open. Lerina did see that Mablung and Beleg and some other warriors had gathered and they were clearly discussing the plan. The avarin elves were excellent climbers and could probably get up over the walls rather fast but then they would need some sort of distraction so nobody did notice what happened before it was too late to stop the attack. 

Finwë had listened with his head cocked to the side, his eyes were narrow and he nodded with a stern expression on his handsome face. “I know that they expect us to react to Alciel’s kidnapping, if anyone else than someone of her family shows up that will look suspicious. I think I will ride out and face them, and if they haven’t seen me since my rebirth that ought to shake them out of balance at least for a while.” 

Finarfin frowned. “Father, that is a bit dangerous, what if they decide to get rid of you right away?” 

Finwë sent his son a rather devilish grin. “Fear not son, I am harder to kill than anyone knows, I am not without power now that I am reborn. They will face something more than a king” 

Finarfin didn’t look entirely convinced but nodded and Finwë turned to Beleg. “There is no moon tonight, and the clouds are thick. It will be pitch black. Can your warriors get over the walls still?” 

Beleg just grinned. “Of course, the walls are old and ragged. There is plenty of hand and footholds there and we do see rather well even in darkness you know.” 

Finwë smiled and took a deep breath. “Before midnight then, when everybody is tired and ready to sleep. Prepare yourselves, tonight we rescue my granddaughter and your healer”   
Everybody nodded and Mablung walked over to Lerina and kissed her. “Don’t worry my heart, we will get her out. “ 

Lerina tried to smile but she felt worried still. Something was eating away at her heart and she didn’t know what it was. She just felt very worried. After a while she managed to calm down and everybody moved into the deep parts of the woods, where they could stay hidden. Some warriors stayed as scouts but nothing would happen before it got dark. They ate and talked, very quietly and Lerina could sense the anticipation within the huge group. Now the noldor and the avarin elves stood side by side and she did see that Mablung and Beleg went around and picked the ones who were going to join them scaling the walls. They picked the best climbers and every ellon they picked seemed to be overjoyed by it. Mablung showed himself as a leader now, he and Beleg obviously got a lot of respect from the others there and they explained every detail of the plan to each and everyone. Ropes were gathered and prepared just in case and others prepared to take care of prisoners and wounded. 

Lerina did notice that everything happened in almost complete silence, everybody knew exactly what to do. Nerdanel had been placed in a tent underneath a huge elm and the twins were with her, they wouldn’t participate in the attack, just stay by their mom to keep her safe. Finwë was preparing too, a maia of Oromë was standing by his side speaking quietly and Finwë was nodding. He looked very intense and Lerina knew that he had removed the silk gloves, this would be an attack where force would be used. Nobody hurt his family and got away with it. The sun was setting now and the warriors chosen started to gather, the avarin elves had some sort of ritual now. They covered themselves with warpaint in a very dark color and so did the sindar to. It would help hide them in the darkness and Lerina saw that her beloved too smeared the goo all over his skin. Now only his eyes did shine in the dark color and he had pulled his hair back tightly into a bun. He wore only pants and boots and he had daggers in his belt and a sword strapped to his back, he did look very dangerous. The warriors did embrace each other, smearing the paint onto each other, showing that now they were as one. 

It was both terrifying and in an odd way beautiful, they would watch eachother’s back and protect their brothers in arms. Lerina did not worry about Mablung, she had a strong feeling that these noldor conspirators were no match for him at all. She just feared for Alciel, she prayed that they weren’t too late. It got very dark and Mablung came over, gave her a swift kiss. “ I will be back soon love, and then we will celebrate a victory” 

She smiled and wished she could have touched him but he was covered with dark blue paint and she didn’t want that all over her clothes. It would be time for that afterwards. The warriors left and she remained sitting by the tent, feeling restless, almost irritable. 

Finwë had chosen some of his men to follow him, it would look odd indeed if he arrived alone so he had given some of his best warriors orders to act as if they were the entire group which followed him. All wore armor and all rode good war horses and some of Finarfin’s personal guards were among them, just to show that he now was the high king yet again. They waited for a while, then Finwë gave the signal and they rode forth. Now was the time to act, and he had a very stern expression upon his face. He would not bow down this time, no matter what. 

In the woods the avarin and sindar warriors had reached the back of the lodge, and Mablung and Beleg had split the Ellyn into two groups and now they started the climb from two different places. The buildings were old and a bit worn due to rain and wind and the mortar between the rocks had been washed away, leaving gaps the wood elves could use and the warriors climbed the wall with an almost disturbing ease. They almost flew up and Mablung was among the first who stepped onto the top of the surrounding wall. His sword was in his hands and he sneered, his blood was boiling and the battle rage was seething within his fëa. 

Finwë and his men rode hard out of the woods and they stopped not far from the gate, Finwë stood up in his stirrups and shouted out loud. “Open the gates, your high king demands it!”

His voice had always been awe inspiring but now it was even more so, loaded with power and confidence and they could hear the sound of quite a commotion from inside. After a while a small hatch in the gate opened and a very nervous ellon could be seen. “ Ah, the master of this place is not here, I am not allowed to open the gate to anyone” 

Finwë made a very stiff grimace. “Is your master more powerful than me? Does he have more authority?” 

The ellon shook his head, he did look as if he was ready to piss himself, if he hadn’t already wet his pants. “ N….no, but…he…he is …gonna be so…mad!”

Finwë stared at the walls and knew that Mablung and Beleg and their men already were inside. “I do not fucking care, I know that your master have my granddaughter kept as a prisoner. I give you four minutes to open the gates or we will attack!”

The answer was an arrow which came flying from the top of the wall and Finwë snatched it out of the air, it was aimed for his chest and he sneered. “Shooting at your king? That is high treason, and you know the punishment for such a crime. Surrender now and face a jury or remain inside and die pitifully like a beast” 

There were screams heard and suddenly the gate opened, dark figures could be seen and Finwë and the others spurred their horses and rode in. The warriors hiding in the woods followed and before long the entire yard was filled with elves. Finwë shouted. “Look for Alciel and the healer, they are in one of the towers!”

Finarfin and Mablung threw a swift glance at each other and ran off, some avarin Ellyn followed them while Finwë and Beleg went searching for the conspirators. There were that many elves present there, most were servants who had surrendered at the sight of the warriors but they had had to fight a couple of Ellyn Mablung would describe as mercenaries. Now they ran up the stairs and came face to face with a rather young ellon who obviously were among the conspirators for he yelled and grasped a dagger and tried to attack Finarfin. The former high king parried elegantly, smacked the ellon across his arse with the flat of his sword and tossed him down the stairs with a curse. He didn’t even look at the other elf and Mablung sort of cringed, the conspirator had certainly broken at least some bones in the fall. 

Finwë and Beleg rushed through the corridors and rooms and their warriors searched the rooms one by one. They found just a few terrified servants until they discovered a flight of stairs leading down into the basement. If someone tried to hide it would be there and Finwë grinned in anticipation. He kicked the door open with a huge bang and then they ran in. They held their torches high and before long they saw two Ellyn trying to barricade the corridor with old wine barrels and other debris. Finwë had a very cold expression upon his face. “Aicion, and Lumbano. Surrender or die!”

Lumbano made a sort of squeal and he was paper white, he held his hands high as a sign of surrender but Aicion swore and threw a rock at the approaching warriors and tried to pry open a door at the back of the corridor. Beleg reacted within the blink of an eye, he fired off an arrow and it pierced Aicions arm and pinned it to the wall. Aicion screamed in pain and anger and Finwë smiled, a very dangerous smile. “You have forfeit your life Aicion, everything you own is now the belongings of the crown and your house and name is no more” 

Aicion screamed again, in frustration and tried to pull the arrow free but he couldn’t. Some warriors removed the barrier and tied up Lumbano and they did free Aicion but they were not very gentle. Finwë did slap Lumbano over his face, very hard. “So you piece of scum wanted to be a part of my family? By forcing yourself onto my grand daughter? Oh this is going to be so sweet” 

Mablung and Finarfin kept running, and finally they found a barred door. They opened it to find Belegornith and Alciel sitting on a bed, both visibly nervous and Alciel was pale and looked rather terrible but she was alive. Alciel let out a small shriek when she saw Finarfin. “Uncle!”

Finarfin ran forth and grasped her, hoisted her up into his arms. “Shh, it is alright little one, you are safe now” 

Alciel immediately broke down into tears and Mablung helped Belegornith, she grinned and her eyes did shine. “ I hope the high king is planning on making a good example of those Eru damned morons?” 

Mablung smiled. “ I bet he is. “ 

They walked back downstairs, some warriors had taken care of the ellon Finarfin had disposed off, he lay on a stretcher, securely tied up and the yard was rather quiet. Everybody was arrested and the wood elves had caught a few of the conspirator’s body guards who had attempted to flee. Mablung and Finarfin did transport the two females back to the camp and Nerdanel broke down in tears when she saw her daughter. The twins were hugging her and both were weeping too and the avarin elves were cheering heartily when they got their healer back. Belegornith was not harmed but she was very angry and she wanted to be there when the guilty ones got their punishment. Finarfin promised that they would have that arranged. Lerina let out a sigh of relief, nobody on their side had been injured and the whole thing had been over in less than half an hour. The prisoners were tied to a tree each and put under heavy guard and things seemed to be normal until somebody started asking Aicion question. Who were his companions? Where were they? It became apparent that Costaro and Calpon were missing and Finwë did look a bit worried. Lerina became worried too, her father was capable of a lot and she didn’t like the idea of him being on the loose. 

Mablung grasped her by the hand and they ran down to a local pond where he scrubbed off the paint and she saw how the excitement made his eyes shine and he was grinning widely. “You should have seen how Finarfin disposed off that idiot, he was impressive. The noldor do know how to fight.”

Lerina just giggled, he made her feel funny with the water sparkling on his skin and that light in his eyes and he grasped her and laid down on the grass with her. Before long they were kissing and cuddling and he whispered to her. “Still sore?”

She shook her head. “No”

It came out as a small squeal and he sort of groaned. “Perfect, for I cannot wait any longer, I must have you again”

Lerina gasped and he pulled her clothes out of the way, his breath hot against her neck and she threw her legs around him and let out a louder gasp as he entered her. She was ready, had been since he returned and there was no pain this time, just intense pleasure. It didn’t take long before she was writhing and moaning and when they both came it felt like an explosion within. He was rather insatiable this time, the excitement had fueled his passion and Lerina was feeling like rug when they both finally were sated. They laid there in a heap with their clothing scattered all around and Lerina had a silly grin on her face and Mablung just laid there, panting and trying to recover. She giggled. “Sooner or later someone is gonna complain about our noise level” 

He grinned and ruffled her hair. “ I don’t really care, I do hope we never lose that fire sweet one, for it is wonderful” 

Lerina yawned and he pulled her closer. “Sleep little one, it is yet some time before the sun rises again” 

She curled up and let him warm her and she drifted off into sleep easily. 

 

The next morning things were rather quiet, the lodge had been searched through and Finwë had been presented with some papers which incriminated yet two more Ellyn, both members of the upper class and he would strike down upon them as well. Alciel was much better now, she was sitting up chatting with her mother and brothers and Lerina was so relieved to see that she was alright after all. Belegornith had taken care of Aicion’s wound but not in a very gentle manner and Finwë did think it was well deserved. The noldor prepared to return to Tirion with the prisoners and the sindar and avarin elves would return to the village. Lerina hugged Finwë and Finarfin good bye and Nerdanel and Alciel decided to go to the village to see Ariniel. Alciel was still a bit weak and needed a few days to recuperate before she was fit for the long ride. 

Mablung was whistling while they rode, he did look very happy and Beleg was teasing him in a very brotherly manner. Lerina on the other hand had a very odd feeling in her guts, she felt as if something was tugging at her very fëa, all the time. Her father was missing, it was something which could spell trouble and she knew that Finwë would launch a full out investigation and that his servants wouldn’t rest until Costaro and Calpon were found. But what if he had fled? Valinor was large, a huge area and nobody really knew how large it was. She would hate it if he got away. She felt no sympathy for him at all, and she knew her mother was arrested as well. The thought didn’t cause her any discomfort at all, she ought to feel sorry for the elleth but she couldn’t. She had no feelings for that female at all, even if she was her mother. She had realized that haven given birth to someone didn’t automatically make you their mother. 

Mablung did notice her somewhat flat mood and he did look a bit worried, last night had been wonderful and he had really enjoyed the sensual spark within her, and her lack of inhibitions whence her desire had awakened. Heck, his ass was still sore where she had scratched him and he had some nice bite marks on his neck which had made Beleg make some very silly remarks. Was something wrong? Lerina wouldn’t tell and so they rode in silence. 

The village wasn’t that far away and they reached it by the afternoon. Lerina was glad to see the palisades appear, she did see that Alciel was eager to and Nerdanel was very tired. She needed some rest and Alciel had confided in Lerina that she had heard Nerdanel call out for her husband in her sleep. Nerdanel had never forgotten about Fëanor, in spite of everything, and she did still love him. The house of Ariniel was quiet as they rode up to it and Lerina frowned, that was odd. She would have guessed that Ariniel would meet them? Mablung stopped his horse and his eyes were narrow. “Remain on your horses, don’t dismount” 

Lerina looked at him. “What?” 

He pulled his sword. “Something is off, look” 

They did see a turned sack of nuts in a corner and the door was open. Some jugs laid on the ground cracked and broken and the flowers hanging in the window were almost dry. They hadn’t been watered for at least a day. Lerina felt her heart sink and she gasped. Mablung turned into a ghost, he didn’t make a sound, merged with the shadows and went through the house in a few minutes. He came out in a hurry, carrying Ariniel’s husband who had been tied up and was unconscious and Lerina let out a wail and did jump off her horse in spite of Mablung’s warning. The ellon was hot like a stove and had a huge lump on his head and Belegornith was immediately called forth to take care of him. He had to have lain there for at least a day. 

Lerina didn’t see any sign of Ariniel and Alciel was shivering all over. “They have taken her haven’t they?” 

Mablung nodded, his eyes were shooting lightning. “They have! Oh Eru, I should have guessed this, when Costaro wasn’t among the ones in that lodge” 

Lerina just mewled. “Why haven’t anyone discovered this before now?” 

A local elleth came forth. “Ariniel helped out preparing everything here, and she left to pick herbs yesterday morning. We didn’t see her again so we just assumed that she had become impatient and chosen to go after you instead” 

Mablung growled. “They took her from this place, so she must have returned. I guess it happened late yesterday. Her husband is in a bad state, they have just knocked him down, bastards!”

Lerina whimpered. “Oh Eru, what do we do now?!” 

Beleg stared at the two, he did look rather menacing too. “We hunt! And this time the prey is those bastards!”

Mablung nodded, eyes ablaze and teeth bared. “Indeed. Gather the warriors again.”

Nerdanel and Alciel just blinked and Lerina tried to look calm. “Stay here, we will find her. They will face their just punishment”

Mablung grasped a twig and drew a swift map in the sand. “Look, even with well rested horses they cannot have gone that far and from here they can only go in one direction if they want to get away from the high king’s power. South!” 

Beleg nodded. “Yes, I will make sure every tribe does know of this. Nobody will aid them.” 

Mablung smiled, a sinister smile. “They will ride due south, but then they will meet the great river and it will force them east again, and then they will meet the lake. If we ride south east we will meet them. I want someone pursuing them, forcing them forth, into a trap” 

Beleg tilted his head. “That will be arranged, they will know they have someone on their tail all the time” 

Lerina felt an unholy rage building up inside. “And let it be known that they aren’t to be harmed, death is too easy a way out.” 

Mablung sent her a puzzled look. “It is not like you to be that wrathful my love” 

She sneered. “They have stolen my daughter, I have the right to feel wrath” 

Mablung nodded and kissed her. “You may appear to be as docile as a lamb but underneath the soft fleece lives a tigress.” 

Lerina just smiled but her eyes were dark. Gathering the warriors once again went fast, and now the gathered elves got even more angry. Everybody knew Ariniel and she was regarded as one of their own and they quickly split into two groups. One would follow the two Ellyn and the other would intercept them by the lake. Beleg went forth into the woods and he was shouting something in avarin, some strange words which held some power. Lerina didn’t understand but the avarin elves obviously did and Mablung seemed a bit awestruck. After a while they heard the sound of hooves and into the clearing ran a huge herd of horses. All were white and huge and absolutely gorgeous and in front ran the largest horse she had ever seen. He was shining and elegant and danced over the ground.   
Mablung just gaped. “Nahar, Oromë’s own horse” 

Lerina frowned. “What?” 

Mablung smiled at her, he did look shocked. “The valar are with us in this. The great hunter has sent his own steeds for us.” 

A huge mare trotted over to them and sniffed Mablung and Lerina and he grasped Lerina by the waist and lifted her onto the slender back before he sat up behind her. Beleg mounted a long legged stallion and the others got horses too. These animals could run for days and were way faster than any other horse. Lerina grasped onto the thin silky mane and the mare whinnied and pawed the ground, eager to go. Beleg let out a shout. “Ride hard and let them know the meaning of fear. Drive them towards the lake, we will be waiting”   
The group to chase Costaro and Calpon rode off and Beleg turned to Mablung and there was fierce joy within his eyes. “Let us not waste any time, let’s ride!”

Mablung spurred the mare and she shot forth, Lerina let out a squeal and Mablung held her tightly. “ We will find her, trust me, she will be alright” 

Lerina just sent him a faint smile, the wind tore at her and the speed was insane. She didn’t doubt his words, but she did doubt her own ability to restrain her anger when faced with that creep once more.


	14. Forest fury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Costaro is about to learn that his daughter no longer is a mellow and obedient little lamb... there will be no more dark days.

Chapter 14: Forest fury

Ariniel had never been that scared, or that angry. She had been busy with some nuts when she had heard a sound behind her and she hadn’t reacted since she thought it was her husband. But it wasn’t, and a hard knock to her head the last thing she had felt before darkness took her. She had woken up hanging over a pack horse like some bag of flour and she was tied up and felt horrible. Her head did ache, she was nauseous and knew she had a concussion or something like that. But the worst shock was seeing who her abductors were, her own grandfather and the one he had tried to make her mother marry. She didn’t know what to do, and she realized that they were going to use her as a hostage. Ariniel swore to herself that she would prove to be the worst hostage ever, she would escape for these two were obviously not able to understand that a female in fact can be both cunning and strong.

She held her eyes closed, tried to pretend to be unconscious still and before long she did realize that they were heading south, into the woods. Were they nuts? It wouldn’t last long before they had every avarin elf in the area hot at their heels and did they really think they could outrun the natives of this land? She was almost amused but only almost. The position made her ribs hurt and she was feeling nauseous still, and the horse she was tied too had a very uncomfortable trot indeed. Oh when she got out of this mess she was gonna beat Costaro’s ass so hard he wouldn’t be able to sit for a month, if ever! Calpon was silent most of the time, almost sulking and she realized that he wasn’t all that loyal to Costaro at all, he would flee if they ran into trouble and she had to grin. There is no such thing as loyalty among thieves then, good to know. 

The terrain was easy to travel through, smooth slopes with open beech forest and some bushes and they did make good speed but it was rather clear that Costaro had no idea of how to find his way through the wilderness. He was making errors all the time and failed to read the terrain right. Ariniel would have laughed if she could. Calpon had to guide them most of the time, he seemed to have at least a miniscule understanding of how to navigate. She couldn’t pretend to be unconscious anymore so she made a few groans just to let them know that she was coming too and she blinked her eyes as if she had just woken up. They swallowed the tiny deception with hook line and sinker and she was pulled up so she could sit on the horse but her hands were tied to the saddle and she couldn’t get loose. 

Ariniel was a noldo by birth but she had spent many years among the forest elves and she did realize that something was off. The birds did sound rather agitated and some blue tits flew straight by her ear, making some rather odd sounds. She had to grin, of course the forest elves had warned the very land of this crime, the forest would help her for sure. When she thought about it she could see that the bushes deliberately caused them problems by letting branches and twigs snag on the horses manes and tails and roots were in the way all the time. Before long they would have a whole horde of angry avarin elves there and Ariniel felt pretty confident that they would give these two hell. 

After a few hours they did stop to rest the horses, the poor animals were starving and sweaty and Ariniel was appalled by the lack of concern these two showed. They had probably never taken care of a horse themselves, servants had most likely done that sort of work for them. The two didn’t speak to her at all, they just ignored her like she was a piece of meat and she felt anger burn within, she was tied to the stem of a willow tree and felt that the tree too felt rather shocked by this. Some branches came slowly crawling, trying to untie her knots but they were too tight and the tree probably didn’t know how to untie knots anyhow.   
Instead it obviously entertained itself by sticking its roots up here and there, making the two neri trip all the time. Ariniel was hungry and thirsty and more so, she needed to pee. She tried to look as fragile and non threatening as possible, held her eyes lowered and her voice soft. “Excuse me, I need to…do my business” 

Calpon made a grimace and untied her but held a firm grip on the rope and he took her to some bushes by a small stream. “Here, do it quick” 

He turned around and she felt her ears burn with embarrassment. He wasn’t looking alright, but he did hear now didn’t he? She crouched down and got her skirts out of the way, it felt divine emptying her bladder and she let out a sigh of relief. Then she did notice something in the water, it was a piece of wood that slowly drifted by and on it was a tiny knife. She leaned forth quickly and grabbed the knife, stuffed it into her stocking and knew that they were being watched already. Great! Calpon just gave her an annoyed glance and almost dragged her back and Costaro was swearing all the time. “We have no food, I am hungry” 

Calpon sneered. “We cannot stop for all that long, we need to get going. They could be chasing us already” 

Costaro looked less than pleased and Ariniel got an idea, a wild one too. She was after all a healer, and she knew the herbs and plants of the woods very well. As the two males stood there arguing about whether or not they ought to be resting any longer she bent down and picked up a huge leaf from the thicket. This plant was very common and she knew it rather well too. She pretended to ignore the two completely as she quickly got rid of most of the leaf itself and concentrated upon the stem. It was thick as her index finger and rather long and it did look a bit like celery. This was a game of chance but if it worked, oh Eru, that would be so perfect. She took a bite out of the stem, careful to start at the upper end which was pale green. It made a crunchy sound and it did smell delicious too. The two turned around and saw her standing there with the stem in her hand and she was chewing away with glee. “What is that?!” 

It was an order more than a question and she pretended to be a bit scared by the hard tone of voice. “ Ah…it is a local plant, a wild vegetable. Many use it for food” 

Both Calpon and Costaro grasped some of the leaves and ripped the plant apart, they both were hungry and did eat with glee, and made some very messy sounds too. Ariniel ate a little more, then she tossed the stem away and pretended to be full, she even managed to burp a little. The two ate the whole stem and she grinned to herself. Vengeance would be hers for sure, and it would be wonderful. It was true that many used the plant as a vegetable, but they would cook it first. If you ate the older parts of the stem raw it would give you a case of diarrhea unlike any other imaginable. Ariniel did use tiny pieces of this plant as a medicine for people with constipation, a few grams were usually enough. This would be so much fun. 

She saw that both the males did finish the meal with some berries, they were completely safe to eat but she pretended not to see it. Later on she could blame the whole mess on the berries. She was hoisted back onto the horse and pressed her lips together hard. There was no way in hell she was gonna let these two get away, she just hoped that the avarin elves would make themselves known soon. It got dark and they still moved on, and now the horses were really tired and they were getting closer to the river. Ariniel knew of it naturally enough, but Costaro and Calpon didn’t and swore when they realized that it was too wide to be crossed without a boat. So they started following it and that was when the elves following them chose to make their presence known. Suddenly there was fire visible among the trees, and shouts were heard and Costaro swore so bad it was a wonder he didn’t catch fire there and then. 

He grasped his saddle and spurred the poor horse and Calpon did the same, the pack horse Ariniel was tied too was not very fast and it stumbled and rolled its eyes, close to collapse. As they rode through the dark woods at breakneck speed Ariniel did see that the plant had started to work. Calpon grasped his stomach with a terrified expression on his face and moaned and Costaro was wide eyed and pale. Before long Ariniel heard a very tell-tale sound of someone just letting go, it was no way you could hold that sort of a reaction in and she was pleased to see that Costaro’s immaculate blue robes and pants turned brown. Calpon let out a howl of pain and humiliation and his pants too became very soiled. She did see that it actually dripped off the saddle and she had to hide a vicious grin. They couldn’t stop, the pursuers were right behind them and Ariniel wasn’t even shocked when a tall avarin warrior suddenly emerged from a tree and cut the lead rope to her horse. The poor animal stopped immediately, gasping for air and she was cut loose and helped down. The two just rode on, desperate to escape. She hadn’t even needed the knife they had given her, and it would have been hard to get at too with her hands tied. 

Ariniel recognized the ellon who had freed her, it was a friend of her husband and she hugged him and felt herself calm down. “Arandur, is he alright?” 

The warrior nodded. “He is, they just knocked him out, he is waiting for you back home. The main group is waiting to intercept the two bastards.”

Ariniel let out a sigh of relief. “Oh thank goodness, I hope they chase them for a long time though, they deserve it” 

She was helped onto a new horse and she felt very relieved knowing she was safe, but she wanted to get back to see if her husband really was alright , and she also wanted to check on Alciel and Nerdanel. They rode rather fast back, following a way faster and easier road, she knew they would be back home by sunrise. 

Costaro and Calpon were desperate, they had no doubt that the wood elves would exact a very painful vengeance upon them if they were caught and so they rode like two maniacs through the woods. The river sort of blocked them and there was just one way to go and in their panic they didn’t realize that they were being herded in the direction the avarin elves wanted. Suddenly Costaro’s horse collapsed and threw him into a heap of leaves and he rolled and got up again, panting and swearing, sweat running off him and he started to run. Costaro had never been an athlete, he had barely had any interest in physical effort at all and so he was in a lousy shape for an elf. Calpon just rode on and he hissed a curse and tried to find his way through the maze of fallen trees and dense bushes. 

Calpon didn’t make it far before his horse too fell and he jumped off it and started running too, the first thing he did encounter was a deep ditch filled with mud and he heard the cheers and calls of the elves in pursuit and got out on his own, sheer panic gave him quite a lot of strength. Costaro was sure that the wood elves would kill him if they got hold of him and he whimpered with fear and tried to find a way out of this mess. There were at least a hundred chasing him and he didn’t have time to find somewhere to hide. Calpon almost collided with him and they ran together, cursing each other and trying to get ahead of the other. Both were a mess, covered in mud, their own bodily waste and twigs and leaves. They did stink too and they still had the diarrhea problem, which didn’t make running any easier. 

At last they reached an open field near the river and Costaro let out a yelp, in front of them were a huge group of mounted warriors, they were armed and arrows were aimed at him and Calpon and Costaro was convinced that this was it, he would die there! He threw himself down, wailing and begging for mercy like a kid and Calpon threw himself into the river and had to be fished out by a less than pleased Beleg who just pulled the noldo out by his braid and then smacked him across the ass with the flat of his blade for good measure. 

Costaro saw that Lerina was there and he tried to plead with her, to see if he could make her soften up but the result was a very unexpected one. Lerina jumped down off the mare and walked over to her father, he was kneeling in the grass, looking horrible and if things weren’t as they actually were she may have felt some pity for him. Now she felt naught but a deep and intense despise bordering on downright hatred. She had never been one to use violence, had always been humble and demure but now that part of her personality was erased. She hissed like an angry cat and Mablung followed her, just to make sure that she didn’t kill her own father. She was actually trembling with anger and her eyes were almost glowing,, he had never seen her looking that awesome! The rage did transform her completely and Costaro just sat there, gaping. Was this his previously so obedient daughter? She turned her head and looked at Mablung. “Your knife!”

He swallowed. “Don’t do anything you will regret my love!”

She just grasped the knife from its sheath on his hip and Costaro made a yelp, convinced that she would slit his throat there and then. Instead she grasped his long thick black braid and cut it at its base, Costaro let out a whimper and she tossed the braid over to one of the avarin warriors. Being forced to have a haircut like that was extremely humiliating for an elf, and Lerina wasn’t done yet. “Who the fuck do you think you are ha? Trying to force someone into an unwanted marriage, conspiring against the king, and kidnapping? Oh I bet Manwê will have so much fun finding a suitable punishment!”

She used the sharp knife with a lot of power but very little technique and two burly avarin warriors held Costaro’s arms. She shaved his head but let some tufts remain here and there and it did make the elf look extremely odd. None had ever seen a bald elf before and the warriors were bawling with laughter. Calpon sat there soaking wet and sobbing and he seemed to be afraid that he would suffer the same fate. Beleg grinned. “ We have them now, let us return and when we have rested both will be sent to Tirion, for a proper trial”

Costaro moaned, being brought in front of everybody like this was humiliating to say the least. He would rather lose his head there and then. Two of the warriors emerged from the forest. “Both of their horses are dead, one had broken a leg and we had to put it down and the other was dead already, its heart hadn’t been able to take the strain”

Mablung looked like a thundercloud and the other warriors there grumbled and mumbled in anger. “I think we will let these evil doers return to the village on foot or what? To make them better appreciate a good steed.” 

Beleg grasped Costaro and pulled him up, then he gave a signal and the warriors stripped the two neri completely. Costaro shrieked and trashed but Calpon seemed to be in a sort of shock and didn’t resist at all. Lerina couldn’t look at her father, the very sight made her feel sick so she turned to the mare she had ridden and Mablung understood and helped her get back up. The two culprits were tied up like a ham ready for the oven and pulled after the horses. It didn’t last long before their naked feet were cut and bleeding and filled with pine needles and splinters. Calpon was crying like an infant by now but Costaro tried desperately to maintain some of his dignity. Too bad the plant still was doing its infernal job for without pants on they couldn’t hide the problem at all. 

The avarin warriors were squeezing their noses and making faces and Mablung shook his head in disbelief. “ I have come across sweeter smelling orcs, believe it or not. What in the name of Eru have they been eating?” 

Lerina felt an odd sensation within her chest, like a huge load had been lifted off her, she felt very relieved and yet agitated, like the adrenaline yet hadn’t had a possibility to leave her completely. Mablung sat behind her like before and he held her tightly. “You are shivering my dear, what is it?” 

She swallowed. “ I feel…I don’t know, I am relieved it is over but at the same time, I just cannot believe it, and I feel strung out, restless, irritable” 

Mablung chuckled. “Oh I understand, most feel that way when they have seen action for the first time, it takes time to wind down again, But I promise you, I will help you when we get back home, I know exactly the perfect method to make you relax again” 

Lerina did look as if she was in doubt but she knew he was way more wise than anybody could have guessed and she trusted him completely. The journey was long and they didn’t get back until high noon. By then the two neri had been hoisted up onto a horse each since they were unable to walk any further and both were more or less unconscious. They were shut into a pig sty and put under heavy guard. The warriors were singing and cheering and Lerina ran to the house and was immediately embraced by Ariniel who by now had made sure that both her husband and their guests were comfortable and both well fed and bathed. There was quite a lot of tears for a while and Alciel was still fuming with anger and Lerina was afraid that she would go too far in her lust for vengeance so she prohibited her from entering the house where the two were held. 

Everybody were fed and Lerina took a long bath and then she returned to their room and Mablung did massage her until she felt almost boneless and then he made love to her until she forgot where she ended and he started. Afterwards she slept like the dead and Mablung was glad they had managed to save Ariniel and the others without the loss of lives.

The next day a carriage was found and the two culprits placed in it, still naked and covered with things from the pig sty. As the carriage was driven through the village some of the elves assembled there showed their anger by tossing stuff at the two and that included the contents of not a few chamberpots. Lerina and Mablung and some of the more prominent wood elves were to follow the two to Tirion and Ariniel and her husband did also want to come. Ariniel would testify and Alciel and Nerdanel still had problems coping with the things which had happened. The twins and Argon and Orodreth were helping them a lot and Lerina was glad the two had some family able to make them forget about the horrors. 

It was a huge group which left the village and Lerina had put on her best clothes and Mablung had a sort of uniform which made him look very intimidating, It was a copy of the clothes a marchwarden of Doriath would wear and Beleg had a similar outfit. They both looked like officers and wore blades and bow and the rest of the warriors following them were heavily armed as well. If the two tried anything funny they would end up looking like porcupines for sure. 

At the end of the day they did catch up with the group lead by Finwê, they were travelling very slowly because of the wounded elves and they didn’t have a carriage so a slow walk was the speed they would be satisfied with. Now the wounded were placed in the carriage with the two kidnappers and so they could speed up and Finwê was hissing with anger when Lerina told of their deeds. She knew that the high king would make a very public display of this, he had already sent fast riders ahead to prepare and to apprehend the other conspirators and Lerina felt a sort of satisfaction knowing that they all would lose everything. The journey did take some days in spite of the carriage and they made camp in the woods and in some villages on the way. Each night Mablung made her forget about her doubts and her anger and she had to admit that she was getting pretty eager. She wanted him constantly and he was in a similar state and everybody were making jokes about newly weds but Lerina just ignored them. She was too happy and in love to care. 

But her mood did drop again as they approached Tirion, she feared the reactions she would face for she knew that she wasn’t forgotten and many would still regard her as a promiscuous female and her new marriage would be doubted too. She was glad Mablung was there to support her, or else she would have been seriously worried. The city was in an uproar by now, many had gathered from the surrounding areas to watch the trial and to see what the valar and the high king decided to do and king Ingwê and king Olwê had arrived too. Lerina and Mablung had gotten some very nice rooms within the palace and luckily none of the servants did treat them with anything but the outmost respect. Lerina found that clothes had been prepared and she did accept that she had to look her best for the trial. Alciel and Nerdanel had rooms right by them and Lerina had to make sure that Ariniel and her husband too got to stay close by. She felt a knot of nervous energy building up, the arrest and trial of these criminals would be like a cleansing of some sorts, the last of the venom Morgoth managed to spread would be purged from their society or at least, that was what she hoped to happen. 

The trial would be in two days and everybody were so busy with the preparations and Lerina and the others just relaxed and tried to come to terms with everything which had happened. The evening before the trial a servant knocked on the door with an apologetic expression on her face. “My lady, there is somewhere here to meet you” 

Lerina frowned, who could that be? She nodded. “Do let them inn then” 

She sat in a couch with some embroideries and didn’t anticipate any visits and she cocked her head and was a bit puzzled until the door went up and two elves entered the room. She gaped, blinked, couldn’t quite understand what she was seeing until the male finally spoke, his voice a bit hoarse and shivering. “Lerina, it is…good to see you!” 

She let out a squeak, then she got up and threw herself forwards, embraced them both. “Fingon, Saeriel, oh Eru, you have been allowed to return from the halls?!”

Both nodded and she had to step back and look at them. They did look like before but something had yet changed, their expressions. There was sadness in their eyes now, and more wisdom than before. She had to swallow hard. “Gods, I never thought I would see you again, how…how do you fare?” 

Fingon sat down, he smiled, a very sad smile. “Not too bad, we are healed but you know, memories cannot be erased that easily.” 

Lerina stared at Saeriel. “Are you…you know, still married?” 

Saeriel shook her head. “No Lerina, the marriage bonds were broken when we died. We have met our son though, and he will return too soon. He will live with Fingon for a while” 

Lerina frowned. “So, what are you to do?” 

Saeriel had to laugh. “ I found that I do have a talent for pottery believe it or not, I am going to move to Valmar and start making exclusive table wear. I learned some very nice techniques, and yes, I have met someone too, a very nice half teleri who makes my heart do somersaults each time I see him” 

Lerina took a deep breath. “Oh that is wonderful, but…Maedhros?”

Fingon answered. “He is still waiting to be re-embodied, he was too traumatized for Namò to fix easily. I will be waiting for him and when he does return we will go to the mountains and live there until he is able to return to society. I fear that may take some millennia though. He is a mess” 

Lerina swallowed hard. “Fingon, does he know that I…” 

Fingon smiled and petted her shoulder. “ Yes, he does know that you are truly married now, and he is very happy on your behalf. I think that news sort of helped him heal quite a lot, he did always feel guilty about the way you were treated back in the years of the trees” 

Lerina sighed. “Oh I am glad he knows, I did love him in a way, as a brother perhaps, Are you here for the trial?” 

Saeriel nodded. “Yes, I wanted to see you and I also needed to return to Tirion just once, to start all over again so to speak. “ 

Lerina made a grimace. “Have you had any contact with the rest of the family?” 

Saeriel scoffed. “Are you nuts? Of course not, to them I am a lost case, I would rather be invited to an orcs yule dinner” 

Lerina felt curious but she couldn’t quite form the question. Saeriel nodded. “Yes, I was killed by orcs, but I died swiftly, didn’t really have time to understand anything before I was hauled before Namò. I just felt sad I didn’t get to see how well our son did rule his realm” 

Lerina had to hug them again, feeling a whole lot better. It was as if some missing part of her had returned at last. After a while Mablung returned to the rooms and everybody were introduced and they spent the evening sitting there telling stories. Lerina did see that Saeriel had a hard time coping with Ariniel, after all, the elleth was her daughter but that secret had to stay just that way and Lerina knew she didn’t have to fear that Saeriel would have a slip of the tongue. She was too smart for that. 

That evening Lerina slept better than in a long time and Mablung was thrilled to have learned that many of his fallen brothers from Doriath were due to return soon, including their king Thingol. The next morning the streets were absolutely packed with elves and some of the royal guard had been commandeered to keep the crowd under control. Lerina and the others were lead to the large courtyard through the basement of the palace which stretched far and wide under the entire huge building complex. The stands were filled already before sunrise and many ran around with buckets of water and food so none would collapse. Lerina had put on a very pretty green velvet gown and she had put her hair up. Alciel and Ariniel both wore some rather dark dresses and both looked absolutely furious. Lerina had to grin, her daughter really proved her metal now. 

The trial started with one of the maiar of Manwê explaining the crimes to the crowd. Everybody did shut up but the atmosphere was nothing short of murderous. Then Finwê did appear and he confirmed that these were the crimes which had been committed and then the culprits were brought forth. That made the crowd go haywire, nobody had been allowed to carry weapons into the courtyard but now rotten eggs, tomatoes and other disgusting things did rain over the accused. All had been shaved and Lerina saw that her mother was spared this humiliation. She had after all just been an obedient wife and some would have reacted if a woman had been treated thus. She and some other females also part of the conspiracy were kept in a sort of cage and they all wore some very simple grey wool dresses and looked miserable. 

Lerina had to come forth and testify and she did so with bravado. She told the crowd everything, how her father had tried to force her into yet another unwanted marriage and when she was done many who had believed her to be a dubious character had changed their mind. Ariniel too came forth with Alciel and the two nissi managed to move many to tears. Belegornith too had arrived that morning to testify and many stared at her since she came wearing what an avari usually wore on a hot day, a loincloth, boots and body paint. When everybody had told their stories most of the first part of the day had gone by, and there was a break before the sentences were announced. 

Lerina didn’t feel any sort of emotions whatsoever, she felt empty, blank almost. She couldn’t have cared less about her father’s destiny, she was done with him, in every possible manner. In her eyes he was the past now, he could rot in the halls for eternity for all she cared.   
When the break was over Manwê made a grand entrance followed by the lady Varda and some maiar. The crowd was silent and the high king of the valar did look a bit like a thundercloud. He was angry, everybody could see that. He did ask for the females to be brought forth first, their punishments were hard but not cruel. Most of them were sentenced to serve the lady Vairê for the next age and Lerina’s mother was sentenced to serve as a chamber maid to the maia Melian who would form a new court now that her husband were to return. He would form a new kingdom in the forests right west of the Pelori mountains and any sinda interested would be welcome there. Lerina had to snigger, her mother, a servant! Maybe that would teach her to be a wee bit more humble? 

Then it was the neri and since Costaro were among the ones starting the conspiracy he was among the last to be dragged forth. Namò was there too and he had already forcefully pulled the fear out of the hroa of some of the accused. The bodies were removed and everybody could see that Costaro and his fellow conspirators were convinced that they too would be sharing that same fate. Finwê stepped forth and he did look every bit like the king he had always been. He was majestic and proud and he stared at the leaders with steel in his eyes. “These creeps have broken our laws, spread the filth of morgoth even after he has been banished. They are a shame, an abomination, the lord Namò has decided that the halls are unable to transform these souls back to normal elves” 

He held his hands high. “Their fate will be to be reborn among the second born, as slaves and beggars, and continue thus until the remaking of the world. An endless cycle of rebirth, and misery.” 

Many gasped, it was a terrible punishment but the high king was understood by most. These elves had been undermining the very foundation of their society and that could not be forgiven. Lerina didn’t even watch as her father’s fëa was ripped away and she just felt a sort of freedom knowing he was gone. The bodies were burned that very afternoon and for the first time in years Lerina knew that the future would be bright. 

They returned to the woods and she continued to pick nuts but after some years Saeriel suggested that they started a business together. Saeriel had changed from ceramics to glass and made tiny very elegant bottles and Lerina and Ariniel started making perfume. Before long they were making a lot of money. Elu Thingol returned and established a kingdom in the woods, it grew and became rather magnificent and Lerina and Ariniel and her husband followed Mablung when he was called back into service. He was the leader of the hunters there now and couldn’t have been happier. More and more elves did return from the halls or from middle earth and the last ships arrived. Lerina soon met Maglor who had been more or less dragged back to Aman by a reborn Gil Galad, and then Maedhros too returned and the torn families were gradually brought together again. Celebrimbor returned together with his father, Celegorm and Caranthir and it seemed as if the stay in the halls had grinded some of the edges off them, they were all way more mellow now. The only one who didn’t return yet was Fêanor and Lerina heard from some maiar that he was way too stubborn to regret any of his deeds. 

Alciel worked as a mad to improve her father’s reputation, she did in fact manage to make even the teleri feel that it had been Morgoth who was behind it all, and that her father had been an innocent victim of his lies. Her tireless campaign was only brought to an end when she met a certain Sindarin prince and fell head over heels in love. They wed so fast everybody considered it a scandal and Nerdanel wept when Alciel one day came sauntering into her mother’s gallery, telling she was with child. 

That the sindar elves of Middle earth had arrived in Aman caused some problems, for Thranduil refused to let go of the title of king and so they suddenly had two Sindarin realms, one in the north which belonged to Elu and one in the south which belonged to the former king of Mirkwood. That his son now was married to a noldo was something he had a hard time accepting until he met Alciel and was swept off his feet by her sheer energy and charisma. Mablung often accompanied his king on meetings with Thranduil and had to admit that he had to drag both neri back to their chambers by their feet more than once when they had gotten so drunk they were more or less unconscious. Lerina and Ariniel became very popular within the courts, their perfumes were sought after by all and as peace and quiet descended over the blessed realm the past became like a bleak dream, half forgotten. Saeriel and her husband discovered a method to make crystal jewelry out of glass and Lerina often teased her friend with her newfound vanity. 

Fingon and Maedhros did show up every now and then, at first Maedhros was shy and nervous and there were dark shadows in his eyes but he did gradually heal and finally he was almost his old self again. Saeriel and Ariniel both had their first child the same year, Saeriel had a gorgeous boy and Ariniel gave birth to a small girl with red hair and dark eyes. Alciel had already gotten a girl who was so alike Legolas everybody was a bit shocked. Lerina felt an odd emptiness seeing their happiness. She and Mablung had been married for many long years now, and yet nothing had happened. They were as passionate as ever and she could barely go a day without his touch, she started to fear that she was barren after all. Then one evening she happened to pass by the lady Melian in one of the corridors of new Doriath and she felt a bit odd as the maia almost touched her. She didn’t think anything of it, and that night Mablung returned from a hunt which had taken two whole weeks and he was starved for attention and extremely passionate.   
The next morning Lerina woke up and she immediately knew that she no longer was alone in her own body, she let out a shriek and she almost scared her beloved out of his skin. Then they both wept, and laughed and wept some more and it soon become clear that Lerina was carrying twins. She got heavy and was struggling but she never complained. She tried to avoid revealing that this was her first birth, Ariniel had never been told the truth but now her daughter came forth and told Lerina that she had known all along. One of the many nissi helping them out after the darkening had told her the truth but Ariniel had never cared about it. To her Lerina was mom, no matter if Saeriel had been the one to give birth to her. That made Lerina burst out into tears and so they both wept a bit before they were surprised by Nerdanel and Alciel who had brought some cake. Lerina feared that she would look like a hippo before this was over. 

Lerina didn’t allow anyone in the birthing chamber except from the midwife and Mablung, and Nerdanel. The auburn haired elleth had become like the mother she never really had had and she appreciated her support and wisdom. Lerina was small and frail and the babies large, for a while there was some real drama and her life was in jeopardy but the midwife managed to turn one of the babies just in the nick of time and things did turn out well. She gave birth to two boys, both with her silvery grey hair but with Mablungs rather dark complexion and with eyes of green and gold. Mablung was deeply fascinated by them and would sit by the crib most of the time and Lerina had to almost fight him to be allowed to hold them. She used a long time to recover and the midwife did tell her that she never would conceive again, the birth had been too hard on her and the damages too great. But she had two gorgeous children to raise now and soon the two became very fond friends of the kids of Ariniel and Saeriel, and when Alciel suddenly decided to give her own father a run for his money when it came to fecundity the realm was almost flooded with young ones and boisterous ones at that. Alciel did stop at number nine, by then Legolas had made a drunken confession to his father that he was considering doing something drastic to prevent becoming a father yet again. He had had enough and Thranduil had just laughed and told him to suck it up and that he did a good job expanding the family line. Oropher too was reborn by now and he did agree heartily. Lerina saw him and Thranduil in the main chamber of the palace, laughing like elflings while Legolas did look like a beaten ellon, with that many small ones in the house there was no chance of having a good night’s sleep. 

On a very windy autumn afternoon yet another elf left the halls, and Nerdanel went to meet her husband. He had perhaps become a bit more humble and he had regretted his deeds but he was still as ingenious as ever and many did stay clear of his forge for he came up with ideas so outrageous not even Aûle himself understood them. Lerina had forgiven him for having arranged her first marriage, and he did develop a new method of extracting the essence of flowers which created some grand new perfumes. Lerina was happy now, and content and with her family around her the days of the darkening had become naught but a faded memory, Things were as they ought to be, and she was where she was supposed to be too. In the arms of her beloved, with a bright future ahead of her. There would never again be a darkening and never again would she be the one sacrificed for the sake of influence or wealth. She had become someone of both status and knowledge and soon she started teaching others how to make perfumes and medicine too. She had never imagined herself being able to give lessons, had someone told her this on the day of her first marriage she would have believed that person to be delusional. Her sons became famous hunters and both married into Alciel and Legolas family, much to Lerina’s delight. One day there would be a need for weapons and warriors yet again but that day was yet far far away in the future and her happiness complete. As Mablung said, there had never been a person who deserved it more. 

The end.


End file.
